ITT: Post a director and the plot of their James Bond movie

spike lee
>james bond but hes black
the end

Christopher Nolan

>James Bond was the villain all along

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>neo-noir thriller about Bond rescuing children from an affable human sex trafficker
>every action sequence is in a nightclub
>"the name's Bond..."
>...
>...
>"James Bond"
>real human bean

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The name's Bond. Jesus Bond.

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>James Bond, living in retirement in a quaint little home in the rolling hills of England
>M, played by Owen Wilson, pulls Bond out for one last mission
>James must go find and eliminate the the elusive and quirky villain, Dogtooth, played by Adrien Brody
>Bond is sidetracked by his long lost young love, Jane, where they send each other hand written letters throughout the movie

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>Bond is older and a Jew living in New York
>he gets caught up in a love triangle... has a nervous breakdown and goes to Florida to clear his mind.
>goes back to New York to decide on which girl he wants to be with.
>Villain dies of boredom.
>he prematurely ejaculates during sex and has another nervous breakdown.

>>82101084
this one is the best so far, bay is 2nd

>>82101177

Main Bond girl is Scarjo

>>82100723
>cuts to closeup shot of Bond (played by Gosling) staring at someone for 2mins 23 sec before removing toothpick
>suspensful purple lighting

I filled in the blanks. Thats what you wanted, right?

>>82101177
>"My name is Bond... James Bo-... wait. I can't do this... it just feels so pretentious. Doesn't this look pretentious? I think so. I mean I have a job to do, I should just do it... these pleasantries are such a drag.."

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>a group of americans steals G-cells from a team of japanese scientists
>they are killed by a saudi arabian agent
>James Bond does some work in the middle east to try and find the evil saudis but must go back to japan and team up with a JSDF major to find the cells stolen before the americans wake godzilla up

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>007, a quiet and thoughtful agent is brought back online for another mission
>Cyber attacks are happening all across the world, and its up to 007 to find the elite hacker and take him down before England crumbles
>After pluggin the plain Jane bond girl he finds the elite hacker, named Cre8tor, played by none other than the director himself
>007 meets face to face with the Cre8tor, but he cant shoot him!
>"You aren't programmed to kill your Creator 007"
>007 was a robot the entire time.

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>Bond is tasked with tracking down a large-operation money counterfeiter and rescuing a captured female spy. He is in one of the counterfeiters' safehouses in the first act
>In the safehouse study he finds several book drafts about himself and his missions, with one detailing the mission he's on which tells the future of what he is going to do.
>Finds the somewhat pushy hip female spy in the same building but chooses to hide the book from her. She is tasked with following him on the operation.
>Tries to find the counterfeiter while paranoid about people spying on him who are writing these books
>Gradually gets upset and woesome about his free will as the book states what he does even when he tries to avoid doing it
>The female spy gets fed up and pushes Bond into doing things her way and only then do Bond's actions start to desynchronize from what's written in the pages of the book.
>Then the director dies and the film's production falls apart and I don't feel like writing an ending to this post

>>82100918
kek

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>James Bond (Tim Roth) is tasked with finding Tippy Towes (Uma Thurman), a kidnapped foot porn camwhore who also happens to have information on her international terrorist captors
>His signature weapon is two gigantic obnoxious revolvers
>Bond's boss is N (Samuel Jackson)
>Main villain is Christoph Waltz
>Halfway through the epic shootout at the end Bond loses his guns and has to resort to the Perching Crane kung-fu technique
>No less than 79 uses of "nigger" throughout the movie
>Soundtrack by Hot Chocolate, James Brown and Jimi Hendrix

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>>82101595
>James Bond is a scared teenage boy who's completely fucking useless
>He also shoots lasers out of his eyes for action scenes
>Movie is praised by weeaboos for the next three decades

>>82101806
wtf sounds amazing

>>82100918
Underrated kek

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>5 hour long movie about James Bond, a sheep farmer in the Welsh countryside
>We follow him as he takes them to graze while he sits down on his foldable chair under a tree and takes a real-time 40 min nap
>Film ends as he and the sheep go back home and he sits down with his wife for dinner

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>>82100723
>>82101238
>implying this wouldn't be pure kino

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>James Bond chases after the villain but is poisoned with a psychotropic
>Proceeds to have visions of God creating the Universe, starts asking himself questions
>Not just about why he's a spy but also why do men bicker about such minutia when the Universe wouldn't even care if the Earth exploded
>Flashbacks of his father kicking the shit out of him
>The end

>>82101177
and the women have to be inexplicably hot

>>82101983
>N

kek

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>>82100918
very sly anon

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Bond infiltrates an illegal casino on an Indonesian island run by drug runners. The island is being blockaded by the Indonesian navy. The only access is by a 2km long bridge.
His mission is to retrieve a top secret file held within the casino's vault.
The bond girl is 5'8" and asian, and helps him access the casino but bettays him 23minutes in.
He is captured and tortured but escapes when the Yakuza attack the casino trough the bridge because of a business dispute.
Now he must fight his way out of the casino and trough the bridge using hand to hand combat and defeat both the Indonesian drug runners and the Yakuza.

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>James Bond is played by Johnny Depp
>The entire setting is more dark and Victorian like
>M is played by Helena Bonner Carter
>Her main office is at a Victorian brothel where she acts like a pimp
>Q makes a bunch of steam punk like gadgets
>Everyone is very pale
>There are random dance numbers throughout

what are those manchester united emblems doing in the background

>>82101084
>M, played by Bill Murray, pulls Bond out for one last mission
Fixed that for you

>>82101983
>Bond's boss is N (Samuel Jackson)

This made me laugh

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>a gang of chavs got their hands on the The Gold Codes stolen from an US official in a strip club
>James Bond must get to them before they sell them to the highest bidder
>among them are crazy russians,indestructible chinese guy and local english gangsters led by a guy played by some legendary tough man actor
>his sidekick is an irish arms dealer

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>James Bond is on trial for the murder of the prime minister who was pushed down the stairs
>his lawyer is a beautiful blonde woman
>the real murderer is the prosecutor who is manipulated by his domineering mother

>>82101595
I like this one. Maybe it has a post credit sequence with James McAvoy and Bruce Willis teasing the greatest thing ever, the shyamalon extended capeshit universe.

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>a group of non nondescript mercenaries have stolen a deadly pathogen from the CDC and plan to sell it to the highest bidder
>the villain is a beloved character actor, who's barely got more than 5 minutes of screentime
>the entire movie people talk about James Bond
>but you only catch glimpses of him: his hands, his back, sometimes a close-up of his hair
>the actual main character is a nondescript American agent played by Aaron-Taylor Johnson, working in conjunction with MI6
>he never actually meets Bond
>there's a pretty shoot out at the end that still isn't worth the 2 hours commitment

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>complete remake of casino royale
>its shit

>>82105251
Spectre was kinda what Jar Jar Abrams would have done with a Bond movie.

Still dark and gritty, various characters and tropes from the older movies returning to try and bank off of nostalgia, shitty 3rd act, one dimensional characters, and hyped up so much that only makes it suck even more.

>>82104016
I would actually watch that

>>82102431
>James Bond gets cut out of his own film

>>82100559
that's the most unNolan trick ever

>>82100559
>Christopher Nolan

james bond is played by leo, marion cotillard plays the bond girl, tom hardy plays his brutish partner on mission who dies

the plot is bond sent to investigate some malicious company conspiracy and marion plays an old flame and femme fetal, JGL as felix leiter

>>82105717
JJ handed the Stars Wars lore much better than whoever wrote Spectre, one of the most boring pieces of shit ever filmed and blatalantly stupid. And this time they don't have a writers strike as an excuse

>>82106186
You're supposed to point some kind of director's trademark, not just give names. I unironically think Nolan would make a great Bond movie

>>82106232
>Stars Wars lore much better than whoever wrote Spectre
they seemed to handle both crapliy

difference is spectre fucks his past, TFA fucks their future, so at least bond can walk away from that embarrassment

>>82106186
>JGL as felix leiter

Could there ever be another white Felix again? After Casino Royale and QoS, if they tried to get a white guy to play him, every shrill news site would call the studio and producers racist and blah blah blah. Once you go black

>>82106249
>I unironically think Nolan would make a great Bond movie
its a joke lad

he probably wood, considering how inceptions dreams felt like bond movies and how his plane scene is an obvious tribute to licence to kill

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>Bond is now owned by Marvel
>Some Marvel Studios director (pic related) directs it
>POP CULTURE REFERENCES
>James Bond (Chris Evans) fights an overpowered villain known as (generic edgy name)
>Every scene has at least one appearance by Nathan Fillion or some washed up 80's star
>First encounter,James Bond beats the Villain in a dance off
>Final encounter James Bond beats the Villain by summoning some pop culture meme
>Villain dies in pain
>Bond approaches the Villain,touches his nose and says "boop"
>The theater bursts laughing
>100% on Rotten Tomatoes

>>82106260
yeah, rebooting the entire franchise.

Seriously, Spectre is a piece of shit, no matter how much you hate TFA, it does what JJ wanted to do perfectly. Spectre even fails at that.

>>82106298
kek

>>82106302
>it does what JJ wanted to do perfectly
thats the problem, what he wants to do is shit

with bond if theyres a really bad entry everyone just carries on like it never happend (AVTAK) or reboots (DAD), with star wars... no walking away from there

>>82106298
Funny but also depressingly accurate

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>James Bond is a jazz musician
>Ranked 007 his entire career, he's devoted himself to become the best Bass player in MI6, the 001
>Tasked with taking out an assassin, he meanders lazily, carrying his bass around the entire time
>This continues for two hours, intercut with clips of James playing bass at random nightclubs, jazz music playing continually in place of diologue and sound design
>He finally finds and confronts the villain. After a shootout, he finds he is left with no bullets, and no choice but to let the assassin escape or kill him with the bass guitar he's still carrying around his shoulder
>He realizes he must sacrifice that chance to realize his dream
>He can't kill the assassin, he needs to save his bass, to save his chance of being the 001
>Stepping out into the assassin's line of sight, he drops his gun, asking the chance to do one more thing before he leaves
>He takes the bass and plays a 12 minute tribute to every notable melody in jazz history
>The assassin, after he finishes, smiles, taking his mask off
>It's his old high school jazz teacher
>"Never thought I'd say this, but nice jazz, kid" he smiles and yells out
>James Bond, smiling triumphantly, miraculously calls out all of MI6, everyone bearing an instrument
>The film ends on a 30 minute jazz outro, no cuts

>>82106351
Yeah, but you understand that people liked TFA, right? Because not everybody thinks like you, and some may find JJ's intentions just fine

>>82106436
and you realize people may think the same of spectre and that it was good?
>muh epic car chase
>funny like moore again
its rating is alot less than TFA but it isnt negative from any concensus site, doesnt make it good

>>82104872
This seems so fitting somehow

>>82106466
what epic car chase? It's fucking retarded
What humor? It's depressing

>>82106539
exactly

ive seen people praise the humor saying its
>just like the old films XD
>finally roger moor like humor

i dont know why, but thats what im saying, just because it did positivley for a lot of people doesnt make something good

i know hes getting old but i want craig to do one more movie just so he can end on an okay note, every bond actor who did more than 2 movies ended on a shitty note so it would be sad to see this continue

>>82101983
>N
Cheeky little anon

>>82104016
I would watch the shit out of that.

>>82106585
Craig is not the problem, it is ovbiously Mendes. Casino was great, Quatum was a mindfuck but turned out a enjoyable movie. Skyfall was ok as a celebration of the character, but a boring and too pretentious movie. I thought Spectre will get rid of all that, but no, it was Skyfall multiplied by a thousand and with no interest at all for realism or coherence

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>soothing soundtrack to an action movie
>long takes and smooth camera work
>entire movie is bond looking after a child in one long take and then that child dying

>>82106729
>Craig is not the problem, it is ovbiously Mendes
agreed, doing one celebratory movie that was a little artsy was fine to bring people back into bond, but they shouldnt have let him do another right after.

having
>dude bonds an orphan
was fine cuz thats actually from the books, but
>dude blofeld is his step brother and he literally did everything wrong to you
is retarded, not to mention bring ing back mr. white just as a throwaway

>>82106369
Kino

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>an ageing Bond (Clooney) has to travel to the US
>is looking for an older villain (Buscemi)
>entire plot is just ond meandering around the town
>meets an older Felix (John Goodman) and they both meander further
>get to the end, the Villain is dying for some reason
>Bond realises he doesn't care, leaves
>movie just sort of ends I guess

>>82100723
Bond sleeps with his eyes open and stares at his gun in his hand.

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>bond goes on an assignment that leads to a fight against the triads
>he goes to Hong Kong to meet with a head of the government played by chow yun fat, and team up with a sexy Hong Kong agent
>a lot of bonding between bond and fat, like a brother hood
>all the bullet impacts leave fire
>Bond has a shoot out against the triads in a Hong Kong bar which leaves a woman injured
>bond protects the woman in his assignment because he fees bad for her
>the final fight has Bond duel wielding pistols in a shoot out before having one grand motorcycle and gun fight on the streets of Hong Kong
>slow motion and doves here and there

Pure Kino

>>82101983
>N (Samuel L. Jackson)

Fucking lost ot

>>82100506
>James Bond: a spike lee joint
May this never happen

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>>82101296
Perfect

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>villain is stereotypical Chinese
>uses ancient Chinese magic to summon horrific shapeshifting monsters
>has them kill and impersonate leading politicians to take over the world
>James Bond uses his gadgets to find the fake politicians
>James Bond punches a monster unconscious, leaves
>It wakes up and eats the villain
>James Bond "accidentally" lets the surprise last monster destroy GCHQ at the end then quits

>>82106991
>Kurt russel as Felix leiter

Who should direct a female remake?
The next James Bond should be a woman.

>>82107440
>joss whedon presents Jane Bond

>>82100723
Don't forget the Refn trademark of Bond trying to fuck a prostitute but he can't get hard

>>82102431
>shots of wheat
>shots of Christian Bale running his hand across grass
>shots of christian bale looking into the sun, waving his hands across sunshine
>shots of more soil and grass
>shot of insects

>>82107440

But Idris Elba is a man

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>Bond just up and leaves Mi6 one day
>Disappears into the mountains
>We never find out what became of him

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>>82101983
>Bond's boss is N (Samuel Jackson)

>>82107930
A Herzog Bone would be so meditative. It'd be great. Just Bond taking a vacay in some isolated cabin in a the woods, as he looks at random deer and stares into the blue sky.

>>82106298
You forget to mention a gay partner instead of hot chick they always use and strong female(black as well for extra tokenism points) character that saves Bond's ass.

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>Movie starts with Bond destroying Holocaust museum
>In the middle of the movie there is 30-minute scene where Bond girl raped by villain henchman called BigNig (played by Idris Elba)
>Main villain is a powerful banker Shlomo Goldenstein
>Instead of credits there is 9/11 footage

>>82108506
>Agent of 007

>>82100723
>>82101238
>>82102286
>>82106876
>>82107555

Reminder that Refn was actually in talks to direct Spectre

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>>82101983
>Bond's boss is N (Samuel Jackson)

>>82106266

They made M a man again

>>82107859
Sexist

>>82108506
Ben Garrison as m

>>82106871
>with JK Simmons reprising his character from Burn After Reading as M

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>>82101983
>Bond's boss is N (Samuel Jackson)

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>>82108506

>>82107930
he has to build an opera house in the woods of montana by hand.

>>82108506
Is Bond played by Bruce Campbell?

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>True Lies 2: IMAGINE Harder

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>James Bond prequel, begins when he was a kid
>flash forward to when he's a teen and he murders younglings to save his high school love interest
>has a black comic relief sidekick
>has a ton of gadgets and different outfits
>the henchmen all look alike, to sell more action figures
>Ian Mcdiarmid plays the villain
>underwater car chase scene, Bond manages to avoid missiles by spinning

>>82101983
I believe in this

>>82101983
>every fag on here thinks N is funnier than Tippy Towes

You guys are shit

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>Gary Oldman is the ethnically-ambiguous villain who yells a lot
>Chris Tucker plays Felix
>Bond girl is 12-years-old, and is Bond's protege

>>82112081
>Ian mcdirmamd as blofeld
K I N O

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>Janes Bond (yes, Janes) must accept xer newest mission
>It is a long, vague mission
>Movie is turned into a series
>Janes Bond is played by some black queer guy
>Xe has friends that helphim
>M is playe dby the one and only, [insert woman who joss is trying to seduce]
>Series somehow turns out to be shit
>Not viewed at all
>By episode 3 people realize this
>Episode 4 is the last episode on air
>show now has a cult following
>60,000,000 tumblr blogs
>the rest of the episodes are not aired
>Joss apologises ot his fans and uploads a shitty pic online with Anita
>Joss make s amovie with marvel
>couple of years pass
>A DVD of the series is released to the public
>It is an instant it
>Reddit goes apeshit

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>James Bond is close to shutting down an international terrorist case when he has a close call with the mastermind and nearly dies while escaping, ending up with amnesia
>Despite having no memory his reflexes and training power through in times of crisis as the mastermind is still sending men to finish him off, his abilities catch the attention of a group of local revolutionaries that are dedicated to ending the mastermind's plot
>The rebels all are very spunky and Bond builds numerous relationships with them that quickly go to shit over the smallest misunderstanding, and despite being a close-knit family sort of people they also have insane amounts of distrust for one another and refuse to reveal important plot details they know until 3 episodes/15 minutes from the climax
>10 minutes from the climax Bond regains his memories and reveals the mastermind to be the extremely minor rebel character who showed up in one scene rather than any of the three red herring characters they've been chasing all movie
>Also the mastermind is Angel from Buffy so those universes are connected now

You're welcome, I guess

>>82112571

I'm >>82112519
My version is better. Delete your post. NOW.

>>82101983

>tfw we never got black and white Casino Royale set in the 50s starring Brosnan

>>82101084
I bet I'd enjoy this film by Wes Anderson.

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>not a movie but a YouTube video directed by himself
>Shia in a tuxedo trying to do the gun barrell scene against a green screen
>he starts yelling IM BOND IM FUCKING JAMES BOND
>I AM A GOD
>he starts doing a weird dance and jumping
>starts crying
>cut to random video of him, very zoomed into his face, saying fuck trump

I wish you guys also included who'd do your James Bond theme as it's pretty comfy visualizing all these premises.

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>>82108882

>>82112742
>Michael bay
Linkin park
>joss whedon
Some indie pop band

>>82106747

This actually sounds like it would make a great short film.

>>82100723
He was actually making movie about autistic spy until that Amazon series

>>82111857
Bond is played by the grand wizard of the kkk

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>007: The Moscow Papers

>Paul Greengrass directing
>Charlie Hunnam as Bond
>Patrick Stewart as N
>Mads Mikkelson as the extremely ruthless and intelligent sociopath director of whatever the KGB is called nowadays

It's a big conspiracy movie involving the stolen Malaysian Airlines plane and the other passenger airline shot down over Ukraine a couple years ago. Lots of foot chase scenes in and around commieblocks, seedy russian strip clubs, back alley gambling dens, car chases and explosions in Red Square, shootouts in the Kremlin, dark political intrigue, urban downhill parkour skiing chases, a crazy single shot scene of an airport terroist attack by ISIS

>>82112607
But I like >>82112571's better

>>82100723
A Refn Bond movie with Gosling as Bond would be absolute Kino.

>>82112189
I lost my shit at that too anon

>>82101084
He actually did have a James Bond ideal.

>>82100723
>Cliff Martinez score
>Makn theme by Chromatics

Someone throw money at him to make this shit NOW

>>82101983
U N O
N
O

F A R T O

>>82112519
>>82112571

nice work lads

>>82112807
What amazon series?

>>82106369
>>82104872
my fucking sides

>>82104275
I love it.

>>82112871
>But I like >>82112571's better
You need ot go away forever

>>82112949
you too

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>>82105251
>remake of casino royale
>fans notice the blatant plot similarities with Star Wars A New Hope

>>82112952
"Too old to die young" or something like that

>>82106298
Nah. This is really lazy.

>>82113044
Buddy, yours was good too.
You don't need to be so competitive
I love you man, it's okay

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>Bond is played by Keanu Reeves
>M is an old asian dude that doesn't speak English
>villain can manipulate reality itself
>Bond meets the villain and finds out he is actually a woman trapped in a man's body
>scenes in futuristic Hong Kong and Tokyo
>main theme by Marilyn Manson

>>82106298
Is this dance off meme a real thing in those movies?

>>82113165
I'd pay to see that, fund it!

>>82106186
>fat manlet american Leo as bond
>implying Nolan would settle for less than Christian Bale

>>82100918

>Modern day Britain has no trust for secretive agencies like MI-6
>Demand they come out of the shadows
>Bond levels a building and the entire continent is in an uproar
>American CIA agent (Named JUDAS) is sent to the UK to infiltrate MI6 and murder James Bond

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>James "Jimmy" Bond watches his wife having intercourse with a black man from his car as Gimme Shelter plays and a rat runs around in the background

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>>82113106
>Buddy, yours was good too.
>I love you man
;__;


Brother, let me tell you something. Many a day I have lumbered here by this fence and looked at this world. These fences which border this small plot of mud seem to be the edges of the Earth. But I have gazed many beyond the fence. I have watched the hills of green and the tall, slim, terrifying figures who lurk and haunt the strange barn on the far side of the hill, who appear as spectres as the sun rises at the break of day and refill the Oats, and float away without a word. Often I wonder why we are not like them, why we cannot give ourselves the oats, why we are limited and chained down by the girth of our bodies and the uselessness of our hooves. And indeed for many years this sad truth, that forever we would be trapped in this shallow frame , alone, and without purpose or direction, banished forever to wallow in our own filth, this depressed me. But yesterday I realized something. Who are we to be ungrateful for existence in the first place? Who are we to say that this life is not good enough? Instead of oblivion we have the warmth of the sun and the coolness of soil. We have fair conversations and a good night's sleep. Who am I to say that these simple comforts are no better than death? Should we not smile like the sun and bask in our happiness as the sunlight warms the soil without question or thank. So brother, let us share oats and smile and frolick as much as our girth might let us. Let us see this pen not as a prison or a hell but as a palace in which we might enjoy the best our existence has to offer. Give me some oats brother, and let us dine together. I love you.... my own flesh and blood, my brother.

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>>82101983
>Bond's boss is N (Samuel Jackson)

>>82101983
>>>82102613 >>82104495 >>82106590 >>82106917 >>82108012 >>82108946 >>82111426 >>82112154 >>82112189 >>82112614 >>82112941 >>82113234

>N
I don't get it

>>82112718
Kekeroni and cheese

>>82106273
Bond movies are what he should have been doing this whole time. Not boring sci-fi he knows nothing about.

>>82106351

>>82113259
nigger

>>82113259
N I G G E R

>>82112865
Would watch

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>>82113276
>>82113275
Why are you calling me a nigger?

>>82100918
>spy-kino

>>82106351
It's okay to reboot Bond if you want/need to. It's expected basically. It's what keeps things fresh at this point.

The Bond franchise also has a self-awareness that Star Wars really does not. Star Wars' canon is concrete and guarded so you end up doing serious damage when you opt for a reboot.

>>82106369
Gee, I wonder what movie that guy made.

>>82100462
>Michael Bay directs
>Bond drives a Chevrolet

>>82112718
Fantastic

>>82113355
nice touch

>>82113336
Yeah.
10 Cloverfield Lane

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>>82100918

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>Matt Damon plays James Bond
>4:3 aspect ratio
>Movie is very calm and quiet
>deals with human emotions and drama
>mellow and sad soundtrack by Sufjan Stevens and Elliott Smith
>Male Characters are strong but have some existential flaws because of an unexplicable even / events
>James Bond is just a guy in his mid-30s, getting phased out by newer recruits
>He goes on a trip with M and friends and rediscovers the meaning of life amidst drama and emotion
>Movie is critically ignored
>Gus stays quiet as susal

>>82100918
Good looking, always well dressed, buff, smugass grin, has a very distinctive visual style, doesnt give a shit about norms or what the audience wants and does his own stuff

Is Zack Snyder the most alpha director ever?