You can see me in water but I never get wet, who am I?

A reflection.

>>82027474
Whoooo is that gurl I seee

>>82027458
Hydrophobic sand.

>>82027458
I too played the witcher 3 and it's dlcs

>>82027474
An easy one to get the blood flowing!

You have been given the task of transporting 3,000 pies 1,000 miles from Pieland to the local bakery. Your truck can carry 1,000 pies at a time. Every time you travel a mile towards the local bakery you must pay a tax of 1 apple but you pay nothing when going in the other direction (towards Pieland). What is the highest number of pies you can deliver to the bakery?

>>82027583
I feel like I am missing something here.
I'm not paying in pie, I am paying in apple, so I guess that I can deliver my 3000 pies to the bakery without trouble

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>>82027711
Not a trick! You were paying attention.
The reward is that the number is the combination to the safe that holds the cure to your poison.

im a fag lol

>>82027564

those were some great f'ing DLCs.

Khal Drogo

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>>82027755
You are no match for my intellect Riddler

What gets wetter as it dries?

>>82027806
Ur mom lol

>>82027830

beat me to it

>>82027806
a towel

>>82027843
Correct!

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>>82027458

A duck!

>>82027760
lol'd

>>82027883
What type of duck?

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Stop this! Answer my riddles!
A very famous pilot was found murdered in a laboratory today. The police have no suspects but found the numbers "5-53-31-16-16" written on the wall.
Inside these numbers is the safe which holds the cure, to which you have the combination.
Where is the safe?

>>82027961
P.S. I sucked 20 dicks last night

>>82027961
You are The Riddler

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>>82028044
And you are testing my patience! Answer my riddle!

>>82027961
>Inside these numbers is the safe
>Where is the safe?
Are you ok?

>>82028096
P.S. I sucked 20 dicks last night

>>82027961
inside the numbers lel

>>82028115
>>82028129
Yes you fools! Figure out what the numbers are! Inside them is the safe. I'll give you a hint this ONE time. Remember where the body was found.

>>82027961
Oh I know!
The safe is inside the numbers!
You just said it
Step it up Riddler

>>82028152
PS. I am enormously thirsty for cock.

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>>82028153
But where is the safe!

>>82027458
My ex wife.

t. Harry Plinkett

>>82028209
INSIDE THE NUMBERS, YOU FUCKING STUPID SHIT.

>>82028209
IN THE NUMBERS YOU SPANDEX WEARING CUNT

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>>82028152
Wait a second. Laboratory. Lab is short for laboratory, while also a dog. Labs are dogs, but to be dogged in pursuit of something is to also make an ass of yourself. Robin, the answer is:

BIG ASS

you just said it was inside the numbers, stop lying

>>82028209

It's on the table!

>>82028209
In you're big ass

>>82028209
my ass LOL

>>82027782
One of the best games in general.

>>82028009
>>82028167
Fuck me I shouldn't be laughing this hard, but taking advantage of namefags is pretty funny.

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>>82028246
How did you! Okay. I made that one too easy. Now I'm back with a vengeance.
As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives
Every wife had seven sacks
Every sack had seven cats
Every cat had seven kittens
Kittens, cats, sacks, wives.
How many were going to St Ives?

>>82028319
PS I Just saw Die Hard 3 last night after I sucked 20 dicks

>>82028319

Just you, but since I'm about to fuck up your shit, I'd say it's safe to say ain't no one going to St. Ives, bitch.

>>82028319
Well it depends.
Did you met them going to the same directions or where you crossing pathes,
I guess it the latter, so none of them where going to St Ives

>>82028319
Stives is latin for kill your wives and drown the cats so there's only one left

>>82028338

Why would you assume the man he met was also traveling to St. Ives? Also, the question is how many kittens, cats, sacks, and wives were going to St. Ives; the answer is none.

>>82028338
Haha too late you an idort

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>>82028319
You never had your wives.

>>82028378
the 1 riddler man was, it can't be so simple though, THERES ANOTHER LAYER OF MEANING.

>>82028378
Nun uh, there's a full stop after wives, and THEN there's a question. The answer is 1.

I was going to St. Ives.

>>82028319(You)

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For my next riddle

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

>>82028319
only you were going to Saint Ives

>>82028448
BECAUSE IT S A HORSE
AND HORSE HAVE A LONG FACE

YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT THIS RIDDLER

>>82028459

lol did you really think st stood for saint?

>>82027961
Coordinates.

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>>82028448
WHERE IS HE?

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>>82028388
Now you're really starting to get in my face.
>>82028394
>>82028459
Looks like you two get to go on to round two.
What is mine, but is used more by those around me?

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>>82028482
Try this one on for size

A reporter interviews the winner of the Kentucky Derby and he says "Why the long face?"

>>82028503
Your gender identity

>>82028503
Your vagina.

>>82028531
>>82028448
The horse says "For you"

>>82028503

your name

>>82028531
Because the winner was a horse

>>82028503
your shadow?

>>82028531
The winner asks the reporter?

>>82027458
Vince Vaughn

>>82028503
Your name

When you speak about me I stop existing, what am I?

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>>82028559
No because the winning jockey just found out his wife died

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH[/spoilers]

>>82027583
who gives a shit, lex luthor is just gonna steal them all like he did that one time I was delivering cakes

>>82028583

silence

>>82028593
Leave the jokes to the Joker please

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>>82028604
I've talked about it a lot and it still exists.

>>82028583
You are a state of victory in The Game.

>>82028531
Winner was actually Jewish. The nose was long as fuck

>>82028554
>>82028582
DING, DING, DING, looks like you won't be visiting the King's son in the hospital wing.

The king dies and two men, the true heir and an impostor, both claim to be his long-lost son. Both fit the description of the rightful heir: about the right age, height, coloring and general appearance. Finally, one of the elders proposes a test to identify the true heir. One man agrees to the test while the other flatly re-fuses. The one who agreed is immediately sent on his way, and the one who re-fused is correctly identified as the rightful heir. Can you figure out why?

>>82028583
My wife's orgasms apparently

>>82028644

the test was to fuck the queen

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>>82028644
they asked which one wanted to be BLACKED

>>82028646
she fucks niggers lol

>>82028644
Because one had everything to win by taking the test, while the other had everything to lose by taking the test.

>>82028644
But why is the king's son in the hospital wing? Is this an english expression or something?

>>82028697

it's cause the king's true son is a hemophiliac, it's a clue to the answer of the riddle, it's a stupid stupid fucking riddle

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>>82028643

You're in a running race and you've just overtaken the runner in second place. What place are you in now?

>>82028731

second place, is this a real riddle?

>>82028731
Still last, I've just un-lapped my un/fit/ ass. :'(

OP's Dick

>>82027458
My guess is my reflection, or the letters w a t e r.

>>82028714
HAH! You're too clever. Too clever.

Many have heard me, but nobody has seen me, and I will not speak back until spoken to.What am I?

>>82028319
Noone because St Ives is a shithole

>>82028790

an echo, this is getting boring

>>82028790
Echo?

>>82028790
an echo

>>82028768
Did I forget to mention it was a two-man race?

>>82028790
You're really shitty at this.

>>82028790
An Echo?

What has four eyes but cannot see?
HEE HEE

>>82027961
In the wall the numbers are scrawled on

What comes once in a minute, Twice in a moment, But never in a thousand years.

>>82028822

perhaps lmao

in that case, you're lapping the person in second place and have been in first place both before and after overtaking him

>>82028714

how the fuck are you supposed to get the answer to that riddle if you don't know about hemophilia being common in royalty though?

>>82028840
a blind guy wearing glasses
>>82028855
your mom
also M

>>82028855
m

A little old lady lives in an apartment at the top of a block of flats. Every day she takes the elevator from outside her apartment directly to the ground floor when going out, but when she comes home she always goes to the floor below her flat and walks up the stairs. Why?

>>82027482
staring straaaight
back at meeee

>>82028855

The letter M. Get some better riddles.

>>82028855

m

>>82028840

mississippi

I'm trying to be easy on you!
Alone I am 24th, with a friend I am 20.
Another friend and I am unclean.
What am I?

>>82028644
because a true king doesn't do some tests that some old creeps want them to do

>>82028840
Mississippi

>>82028822
the runners were horses! that's why the faces were so long

What gets more attractive the younger it gets?

>>82028873
she retarded nigga

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>>82028868
Close but no cigar.
>>82028888
DING DING DING DING DING!
QUADS OF TRUTH MR. BATMAN

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>>82027458
Name something that no man wants to receive, yet no man wants to lose.

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why??

What room do ghosts avoid?

>>82028873

she can't reach the button for her floor

>>82028916
Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, boxing Day

>>82028857
It was pretty common in European royalty from the 1700s or so I think. I think it started with the Hapsburgs?
Anyway hemophilia is actually sometimes referred to as the royal disease. It's just like a thing you can reasonably expect most people to at least have heard of i guess

>>82028873
she lives on the roof

>>82028939
That's not the answer I was looking for but you are correct.

>>82028914
GIMMINY GILLICKERS, HE MEANS A SUBPOENA. WE'VE BEEN DUPED, BATMAN.

>>82028916
Today, yeaterday and tomorrow

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away

The living room

>>82028914
Penis

>>82028916
>A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why??
because an apple a day keeps the doctor away

>>82028873

she's too short to hit the button that corresponds to her floor, but the button for the bottom floor is within her reach

>>82028889
the letter x! That one was pretty good

>>82028936
Correct.

>>82028914
Lawsuit. A wife. Both.

>>82028916
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow?

>>82028952
Easter triduum

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>>82028905
kek

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Now to give you my identity, as I'm tired of you impostors.
I spent years under the Moonlight,
From it I gained a sixth sense.
but now I rise only during the Mercury retrograde.

Who am I?

>>82028855
Mmmmmmm that's a tough one..

Does it has something to do with losing my virginity?

>>82028984
>>82028955

Correct

>>82028916

Halloween, All Saint's Day, Dia de Los Muertos.

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

The living room.

>>82029003
Uh, a thermometer?

>>82028905
Most women?

>>82028980
>>82028954

Lawsuit works better than subpoena, Riddler
>>82028958
A sizable portion of the population would disagree, but clever.

>>82029009
National spaghetti day, national bird day, national bean day

January 4th 2017, January 5th 2017, January 6th 2017

>>82029018
Wrong! I expected better from someone who spends their days reading pulp fiction.

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HERE'S A NEW RIDDLE, BOYS!

WHAT gets hotter as the temperature rises?

>>82029063

Those would be dates, not days.

>>82029079
benis?

>>82029079
The room

>>82028905
Natalie Portman

>>82028319
1 person going to St Ives.
It would be you + 1 man + 7 wives + 7^3 cats + 7^4 kittens (49 sacks not included) = 2753 would be going to St Ives if sacks don't count and also if the whole thing wasn't a mislead

>>82029079
fucking anything

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>>82029079
Everything?

Right, so there's two doors, one leading to certain death and the other to safety. There's also a pair of guards, identical twins, who know which door is which. One brother always tells the truth, the other always lies. Also, you must get a fox, a chicken, and a bag of grain through the correct door. After you pick a door, the guard will show you that the other door contains a goat, and ask if you want to change your mind. What do you do?

>>82029068

Is it Bruce Willis? He was in Sixth Sense and Pulp Fiction.

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>>82029108
>>82029109
DING DING DING! CORRECT!

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>>82029079

>>82029112
jackie chan

>>82027458
test

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these threads are why i stay on /tv/

>>82029114
kek, he was also in a movie called mercury rising, which happens to be about an autistic boy who likes riddles

>>82029114
YES! YES! YES!
You live in a circle but still you rust.
What is your occupation?

>>82029112

Call Click and Clack for help, and the ghost of Tom will show you the way

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>>82029079
Fire?

>>82029143
tin woodsman from the wizard of oz

>>82029143
I pass butter

>>82029143
Oh, well, I'm an accountant for a law firm, thanks for asking.

>>82029143
Cowboy, I live in a circle of wagons, and I rustle livestock.

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What the hell is this thread?

>>82029143
Gorilla. I live in the circle of space and I rustle jimmies.

>>82029143
Sacrificial metal? Ive got nothing

>>82029159
>>82029169
>>82029183
>>82029187

I know none of you are True.

WHAT IS FAT, ORANGE, AND LIVES IN A BIG WHITE HOUSE??????

CLUE IT STARTS WITH D AND ENDS WITH RUUUMPPPPFFFF

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>>82028663

>>82029216

Did Rust from True Detective live in a circle? I never watched the show.

>>82029216
a clock that tells the wrong time

>>82028696
This is surely it

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FORGET MY LAST RIDDLE.
HERE'S A NEW ONE, BOYS.

What has 8 tentacles and lives in the ocean?

>>82029282
George Soros?

The men have been captured, blindfolded, and put on a plane. A man interrogates them, saying one of them will be allowed to live if they speak. The first man is questioned next to the open door of the plane and says nothing, a gunshot sounds, and the interrogator moves on. However, the second man knows the first man is still alive. How?

>>82029143
When you say "still you rust" do you mean it rusts when it is still?

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>>82029311
uh, so why would you shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?

>>82029311
Because the second man knows it would be extremely painful.

>>82029311
because why would a man open a door before shooting a man??
BTFO

>>82029311
that's a big riddle

>>82029311
Is it because the blindfolded man is of large stature?

>>82029311
Why do you shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?

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>>82029112

>>82029311
no one shoots a man before throwing him off a plane

>>82029143
Detective?

>>82028873
she's a midget with an umbrella.

this one is retarded.

>>82029354
>>82029367
>>82029388

How the fuck do you all know the answer to that?

>>82029433
They're big guys.

>>82029466
For you.

>>82027474
Have you ever masturbated on the shores of a lake? It's very easy for a reflection to get wet.

>>82029530
Joker in the 80s:
>Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Joker today:
>Have you ever masturbated on the shores of a lake?

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My skin is white but my children are black, what am I?

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ENOUGH! BACK TO MY RIDDLES!
Here's one that will surely tickle your brains.

What gets harder when touched but softer when not touched?
I'll give you ONE hint... A penis

What do you put inside of a box to make it lighter.

>>82029613
A coalburner roastie.

>>82029613
Canadian

What is it that no man wants to have yet no man wants to lose?

>>82029664
To make lighter put paraffin and sparking device into box. Use money saved on legitimate cigarettes who fall off back of lorry.

>>82029732
a dick

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>>82029632
Can you give another hint?

A man leaves on a business trip to the next town over on thursday. He stays for 2 days, and returns on home thursday.

>>82029732
A lawsuit.

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>>82028568

>>82029777
The trip towards the destination and going back took a total of 5 days.

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3 men go into a hotel. The man behind the desk says a room is $30 so each man pays $10 and goes to the room.
A while later the man behind the desk realized the room was only $25 so he sent the bellboy to the 3 guys' room with $5. On the way the bellboy couldn't figure out how to split $5 evenly between 3 men, so he gave each man a $1 and kept the other $2 for himself.
This meant that the 3 men each paid $9 for the room, which is a total of $27 add the $2 that the bellboy kept = $29.
Where is the other dollar?

>>82029777
Good for him.

>>82029763
Eh, sure, close enough

>>82029826
the town is 15 miles away. the trip there and back is less than a day.

>>82029829
You shouldn't be adding the money that the bellboy kept, you should subtract it

>>82029847
he took the scenic route, taking 5 days.

>>82029777

Thursday is the name of his horse

>>82029890
no.
He leaves on thursday, arrives on thursday, stays for one day, and returns home.

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reddit: the thread

>>82029917
yes lol.

>>82028553
underrated

>>82029613
that's a nice frog picture but I have a rule against saving frog pictures to my drive because frogs are dumb

>>82029919
But he stays in the town for 2 days and the riddle doesn't say anything about the town being 15 miles away.

>>82029829
lel

They spent $25 and got 1 dollar back each which is $28. Jamal keeps the $2 for himself and it adds up to $30

>>82029732
his anal virginity

>>82030054
Why would you NOT want your anal virginity?

Dan Manly was revisiting his home town when an old friend called. "Hey, Dan, how have you been? It must be 15 years since we last saw each other. " "At least that," replied Dan. "I've been keeping well, but tell me about yourself." Dan's friend answered, "I'm married now but to someone that you wouldn't know. By the way, this is my daughter." Dan looked down at the little girl and asked her name. "It's the same as my mother's," the little girl replied. "Then I bet your name is Susan," said Dan. How could he know?

>>82029847

His horse is named Thursday.

>>82030159

Dan's friend was Susan, the girl's mother.

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>>82030260
stop googling the answers sempai.

>>82028209
BIGASS.
Your mom is the chest?

>>82029613
Swedish

>>82030292

I'm not, those two were just easy as shit.

Here is one you will never get.

What is the answer to this question?

>>82030413
yes

>>82030413
you're mom lol

>>82030413

No

>>82030413

What

A professor woke one morning while on a safari and felt something in the pocket of his shorts. It had a head and a tail, but no legs. When he got up he could feel it move inside his pocket. The professor however showed little concern and went about his morning. Why such a casual attitude?

>>82027458
the sky

>>82030413
A paradox.

>>82030485
it was his penis

>>82030485

It was a coin

Jesus Christ dude give us a hard one already

>>82030485
IT was a coin or a pet snake, your call

>>82030512
Oh i'll give you a hard one alright
*unzips dick*

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>>82030678

I thought you were the Riddler not the Diddler

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>>82028549
hah got eem

>>82028644
The King's true son was mute

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This thread is so hilariously retarded.

>>82027458
james cameron

If I watch the reflection of me fucking my wife am I a cuck?

>>82030825

No, and it counts as a foursome for bragging rights but if you meet eyes with your reflection that makes it gay

>>82028840
4 Potatoes

>>82030825
>having a reflection
Get a load of Mr. Still-got-my-soul over here.

I am destroyer of mountains, killer of kings.
I always fly by yet I don't have wings.
I can end basketball games and marriages with similar ease.
Though I flow like a river only water can freeze.
I've murdered houseplants, parents and children galore.
Yet despite all of this you always want more.

Who am I?

>>82031135
Rain
Ezpz

>>82031135

Time.

>>82031135
Not yet.

You find a dead man in a car. He's been shot several times, and there's a gun on the ground next to the car. The car keys are on the contact, all doors were locked and the windows are up. There's no bullet hole on the body of the car nor on the windows.

How did the man die?

>>82031181
Wrong

>>82031183
Correct I would also accept Denny Boffa

>>82031194
He had another gun inside the car and killed himself.

>>82031194
he was shot

>>82031255
There are no guns in the car, only the one on the ground.

>>82031194
he shot himself outside the car, dropped the gun, went into car and locked the doors before bleeding out

>>82031286
he got into the car after being shot

>>82031194
>car keys are on the contact

What is "the contact"? do you mean the console?

>>82031194
Two identical keys with central locking
Ezpz

>>82031194
He crashed the car and the gun flew out the sun roof.

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HEY WHAT'S UP /b/ROS

>>82031194
He got cucked to death by african-americans

>>82031194
Shot through the open sunroof.

Or, hell, it's a convertible with the top down.

>>82031295
>>82031297
>>82031299
>>82031301
>>82031359
>>82031388
Wrong.
>>82031438
Yes, it was a convertible. Well done.

>>82031194
You never said the dead guy didn't have another gun
Ezpz

>>82031455
i think it's unfair to call the responses "wrong" when they offer a plausible explanation for the situation, even if it doesn't match the answer your riddle book says.

P.S. I'm gay if anyone is looking for a blowjob in the greater staffordshire area

>>82031506
Some kids lack lateral thinking, so they try to compensate that by asking riddles that make them feel they could actually resolve them if they tried.

>>82031455
What a shit answer

>>82031506
Mine wasn't even an answer, it was a question regarding this phoneposting faggot riddler's spelling and he still lumped me in.

fuck it kill him batman

>>82031506
Please refer to
>>82031533

I am yet I'm not, my hands are mine but I'm not. All I know is I know nothing, therefore I exist. What tv character am I?

>>82031608
Jar jar binks

This episode looks a lot like tumblr pandering shitty fan-fiction, I love this show, I hope it won't last.

>>82028916
Lundi, Mardi, Mercredi

>>82031629
TV CHARACTER YOU BRAINDEAD FUCK, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT NIGGER, CAN'T YOU FUCKING READ?

>>82031700
Lando Calrissian

>>82028553
Lel

>>82031700
And tv's broadcasted star wars many times, your point?

>>82031698
Tu te crois malin, petit pédé ?

>>82028905
Cunny

>they didn't show Bruce hitting the black kid

If i shoved my foot so far up your ass that it comes out your mouth, where is my foot?

>>82031846
Attached to your leg

>>82027458
dyke cunt

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>>82027458
Bane?

>>82032029
Foxe?

>>82032029
What a cute kitsune

A man lives in a basement with no windows, he eats nothing but microwavable pastry snacks. Every day he goes to the same website to delete threads.

But how much is he paid to do this?

>>82032029
pretty shit compared to CHAOS REIGNS fox

>>82027458
a giant shark

>>82027458
toothpaste? (when you spit it out after brushing)

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>>82029112
I pull the lever

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Ah, Holmes, you're finally here. Sorry to call you at a Sunday morning, but I need help with this case. Alright, this bloke was found dead this morning, there's not much in the crime scene.
Here's what we got from the interrogation: the wife said she was asleep, the cook said he was cooking breakfast, the gardener said she was picking vegetables, the maid said she was getting the post, and the butler said he was cleaning the closet.

Who do you think did it?

>>82032762
The maid did it, there IS no mail on a Sunday morning, plus she was black.

>>82032762

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>>82032762

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>>82032877

>>82030413
anime

>>82032808
>>82032762

>butler
>cleaning

Thats the maids job

>>82033055
Which the butler had to do because the maid was busy committing murder

>>82027583

Was this Aragorn's tax policy?

spongebob

>>82029079
Baneposting?

>>82027458
it's waves you cocklovers

>>82032218
He does it for free

>>82028319
none, just you