ITT: We invent fake guests for Joe Rogan's podcast

>>82001954
lee stroud is a real person who did this and was already on his podcast

MARK HAMILL

>>82002015
>American """"""""food""""""""

>>82002015
>you don't have to thank me but you do have to eat this bro

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>>82001976
fuck, didn't know that

comfy night ahead

>>82002015
Do you think Joe hunted those guilt free jalapenos himself?

>Jonathan Sambo is a political activist who advocates strong use of psychedelics to cope with mental health issues and hosts the Radical Capitalist Podcast

WHy do you guys listen to this dumb bald faggot?

>a time traveler

>martinez shkrelinski a jewy looking autist who's an expert on pharmaceuticals...or not

alex jones

>Ted Blowback is a left-libertarian independant orthodontist who aster studing dental records of Peruvian pygmies believes that ancient people used THC to unlock the power to turn into beast men and find Atlantis. Joe will talk to him about his theories on getting UFC fighters to smoke up before fights to unlock their primal chimp powers.

>Matt Graystone is a martial arts master and collector of pink himalayan salt who cares a lot about what he eats.

>bernie sanders is a senator for vermont, originally from brooklyn, who advocates the use of weed as a means of dismantling post-social capitalist hegemony of western thought process real estate

>Gad Saad is a slimey kike who tries to pass off marketing cliches as profound discoveries in evolutionary psychology.

>>82003048
kek

>Jed Hopstinbraut is an anti-GMO entrepreneur and thought leader on the capacity for psychedelics to lead America to the semi-permanent lizard people and travel

>>82002844
Why the fuck hasn't Joe had Shkreli on the podcast yet?

>Duncan Trussell is a boring pseudo-intellectual Terence McKenna wannabe hippy loser who can't even smoke a joint without freaking out

>Eric Trump is a big game hunter, philantropist, former campaign adviser to the president of the United States and the current CEO of various Trump global businesses

>Buck Hazmat is a geomythologist who believes the earth was once ruled by meteors.

>>82001954
>It's a Joe Rogan fail to cook eggs once again-episode
christ joey it's not that hard

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>>82003167

Frank Woolf is an ex cia operative who has worked on black operations all around the world. Now hes retired he owns one of the biggest triple skunk farms on the west coast

>Dr. Bansi Rahim is the Chief Research Officer of the Ogden Institute, an organization pioneering the use of jenkem and carbon nanotubes for the treatment of depression

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>>82002946

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>>82001954
>Sylvia Chase, anti-marijuana advocate leading studies which have found a correlation between cannabis and low IQ, crime rates, and an inverse relationship between marijuana usage and success.

>Don Wonson is a paleontologist who believes that dinosaurs ate marijuana plants to experience different states of consciousness.

>Caleb Roundstone is a former tech entrepreneur, whose company was once valued at over $2 billion. He's been visiting rainforest tribes whose cultures are based around natural psychedelics as part of a Vice documentary, and he thinks studying the way they live could have a huge impact on how we view the societies of our ancestors

>Mr. Punchy is a Kangaroo who COULD LITERALLY TEAR YOU TO SHREDS HOLY SHIT!

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>>82002015
>it's a Joe attempts to poach an egg for once episode

>Nim Flores is a podcaster, comedian and a chimp that must be what? 400 pounds? Jesus that thing will tear you to shreds.

>Roe Jogan is me from a parallel universe.

>>82003167
lmao

>>82001954
>Jason Genova is a comedian, an aspiring bodybuilder, and youtuber with a cult fanbase.

>>82001954
>Dr. Gabi Tereso is a mexican intellectual, conservationist, and inner 8th gate taijutsu practicer. Her book "Walking with wind." highlights the issue of stealing the earths wind and using it for human purposes.

>Toe Rogan is Joe Rogan's left toe and has been broken several times due to homosexual spats on a gay fucking karate mat

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>>82003559

>>82002015
>eggs from my yard
you mean chickens, dipshit

>>82003559
Fucking lmao

>Brandon Sheev is a former MMA fighter and current stand-up comedian extraordinaire

>>82002946
criminally underrated

>>82003138
I don't think pharmabreh is allowed to leave NYC

>Mitch Powersander is blackmailing Joe with gay pictures of them together from 20 years ago to use this episode to talk about his line of creatine supplements.

> Dr. Sniz Hunston is an endocrinologist specializing in DMTs affect on the pituitary gland. During his most recent Ayahuasca trip, he was informed by an inter-dimensional entity that he would receive full tenure by the end of 2016. He has since reformulated his hypothesis to account for his lack of tenure. After the show, he talks to Jamie about where he could get in some stand-up sets. He will also be appearing on Tangentially Speaking with Chris Ryan, The Bryan Callen Show with Bryan Callen, The Duncan Trussell Family Hour, The Drunken Taoist, and The Trippin' with Dippin Block.

>Tobias Shaw is a xenobiologist who believes intelligent life on Earth may have emerged thanks to neurostimulatory fauna planted on Earth by ancient aliens and that marijuana is a direct descendant

>>82001954
>Bill Wilson is a CIA agent who has undergona top secret missions across the globe to capture some of the most dangerous big guys on this planet. His self published book "Flight Plan" is a NY times best seller.

>Mr. Wiggle-Giggle is a hallucinatory elephant that Joe will be yelling at when the DMT kicks in.

If someone invites a time machine there's so many historical guests that I want him to get on the show.

>so they kept you in a cage like an animal bro? That's so fuuu.. Jamie pull up that video about 19th century strong men. . . Fucked up bro. See look! These guys are fat amateurs compared to today's lifters man

>>82004014
Kek

>Anon is a 4chan poster who specializes in alt-right threads about underage celebrities and whose current thread titled 'What did she mean by this' is currently on the front page

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>>82004033
Forgot pic

Watching the Joe Rogan podcast for the past two years has actually made me stupider.

>>82004033
>don't you think you could have convinced them to let you out of the cage? don't you think you're wasted your life and it's your fault? huh? huh you silly bitch?

>Bananarama the chimpanzee talks about MMA future and supplements, makes compelling argument for the earth being flat

>>82004120
Just keep an open mind, bro.

>>82002946
why am i giggling so much at this

>Peter O'neill is an auther, vegan - hunter and outdoorsman known for his bestselling books "The Hunting Vegan lifestyle; Why killing animals is ok" and "Carbs and Sugers: why they don't exist"

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>Joe somehow manages to agree on major points with all of these guests at the same time

>Jake McGabe is a bodybuilder, MMA fighter, explorer, psychedelics activist, Libertarian, hunter, and someone who inherited enough money to do nothing but vanity "lifestyle" projects for the rest of his days.

>Dr. Angela Fargas is a nutritionist and sports scientist who specializes in the performance enhancing effects of marijuana

>DEFENSIVE ABOUT WEED?! I'm not defensive bro I'm not defending WEED bro. Why do you keep talking about Weed? Btw you missed your flight. You are obsessed with weed bro fuck your flight what's the problem salvia will save your brain cells man its in the history books you gotta read between the lines. Fuck your flight bro your not leaving this room till we sort this out

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>Louise Elizabeth Clarkson teaches spiritual psychology at the University of Dalles, TA. She's a long time advocate of working out at night and is one of the founding members of the "Moonlight howlers" movement, a group that belivies in channeling the sprit of the moonlight by working out nightly to improve your endurance, estrogen, testosteron and much more
>Her best selling book "Runnng with the wolves- how to channel the moonlight for a better life" was an Amazon bestseller for 2 consecutive weeks

>>82002682
underated

>Nate Tucker is a writer, actor, and comedian. He host's the podcast's "Better Tuck Next Time," "Go Tuck Yourself," and "Tuck Everlasting." His latest special "Tuckingham Palace" premieres on Netflix on May 9th.

>>82004120
lol watching

>work 8 hours shift where i can listen to shit all day
>but still have to somewhat focus on my work, so joreyydoo is the perfect light - entertainment to just have in the background

i will never understand how "normal" people sit down and listen to him (i means hes chill enought but still) and his retarded pseudoscience guests mumble on for 3-4 hours in ther own spare time

>>82001954
>joe interviews and actual man made of straw to discuss the benefits of marijuana and still gets angry

>>82005629
Most people listen to him while they're doing other shit tho. I mean, even Joe admits that probably what the majority of his listeners do.

You act as if you're unique, baka.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrL56-TZhQ0

>>82003554
>mexican intellectual

>Cannabis, also known as marijuana among several other names,[n 1] is a preparation of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug or medicine.[12][13][14] The main psychoactive part of cannabis is tetrahydrocannabinol (THC); one of 483 known compounds in the plant,[15] including at least 65 other cannabinoids.[16] Cannabis can be used by smoking, vaporization, within food, or as an extract.[17]

>>82005789
>american education
EL JUSTO

>>82005775
>Oh come on.
>I'VE MET HIM.

>>82005674
okay sorry bro.

just figured since you said "watching". on his subreddit people will literally sit down and watch the entire thing live you know

>>82006031
>subreddit
>reddit
found your problem

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>>82005775
>Oh, I thought you were saying like it's... Retarded..

> Nino Hernandez is an entrepreneur in the meat industry whose experiences as a factory worker for a company making cascarónes informed her business and her decision to open up a for-profit university in Lesotho for butchers and martial arts practitioners.

>>82003143
This so much. Him and Whitney Cummings are the dumbest people Joe treats like intellectuals.

>Vermiflux Traoré is an A.I rights activist, stand up comedian and internet historian. He hosts the podcast "Do androids dream of Duncan Trussell?" where he discusses the effects of psychedelic drugs on supercomputers and subatomic particles

>>82003554
>Tereso
lol

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>>82005775

Nick sucadik

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>>82005775
>Where does yeast come from.. fucking.. bread..

Azaria Elmanjo is a Guatemalan pig wrestler who founded the first inter-species MMA tournament. She's on the podcast to talk about quantum physics, objective morality, and her latest book about meditation.

>>82002946
Jesus fucking Christ.

>Gers Mjolkovad is a theoretical underwater scientist, crustacean evolutionist and proponent of "Kelpamine" supplements. He is best known for his TedX talk about unlocking the secrets of DNA through muscle activation, ego death and kelp dust. He is also the founder of KelpMe! which creates kelp and THC based edibles.

>>82003461
fucking kek. how the fuck did this go unnoticed??

>Some idiot is going to talk nonsense for two hours and you credulous faggots will believe every word of it.

>Ron Mitchell is an ethnobotanist and VR developer who's book "The Pilgrim's Reward" talks about the development, and benefits of technonarcotics and elctrohallucinogens. Ron, are you a bowhunter? Do you garden?

>>82001954
>>82001954
>>82001954

When's the next JRE episode? Anyone know? How do I find out?

>Virgil Abellard is a small game hunter and author of "Bayou Keto: A Paleo Wetlands Diet". He is currently locked in a legal battle with the Nugent estate.

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Cornelius Arnold Jr. II was 79-84 Denver Broncos quarterback, leading astrophysicist and convicted rapist who recently finished his memoir, "Nigger wit som money". Today he's here to talk about deer hunting.

>>82007357
>Neil Degrass Tyson
>Louis Theroux
>Lance Armstrong
>Alex "interdenominational child molesters" Jones

>some idiots

>>82008027
>Affirmative Action "scientist"
>Meme documentary guy
>Liar
>Controlled opposition

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>>82007927
>his memoir, "Nigger wit som money"

>>82008069
>retarded : the post

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>>82008118
>They're famous, so they must be smart

>>82008069
>insulting based Louis

Scientologist detected

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>>82008140
So people are famous for absolutely no reason?

>>82008344
Yes?

>>82008371
Can you link us the episode?
Pull that up, faggot.

>Jamie, pull up that thread

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>>82003559

>>82007167
Pfffahahahhaahah

i wish they remade encino man and have joe rogan play the caveman.

>>82003559
>>82003596
>>82003676
>>82009139
All (You)

>Here with me today Gert van der Wiel, whose theory controversial theories about the relationships between plants and humans have been dismissed by the scientific community despite extensive research and plenty of circumstantial evidence
>So, Gert, let me get this straight, right, your theory is that plants... they actually deliberately and consciously evolve to give off psychedelic effects, so like, when you take it, it what, like takes over your body?
So what, what would mean that marijuana plants, not humans, are the dominant species on the planet?
>Wow, that's fuckin wild man

>>82009424
>phone posting

Keto McKetoberg

>>82008069
>>Meme documentary guy
He's pretty good at documentaries though.

>Ling-Ling Guitierez is a Taiwanese-Bolivian Muai-Jitsu prize fighter and dermatologist who spent three years teaching bonobos to make hash oil.

>>82005559
>Tuck Everlasting
childhood book-kino right there

>>82003245
kek'd hard here

>>82010862
keto is legit though

>>82008069

where do you live? talk shit about Louis again and I'll fuckin cut you m8. give me that address bro if you think you're big shit

>>82005775
jej

>Morty Vanderbilk is an actor, writer and comedian whose book "skiddin by" hit number 1 on the Kindle Weekly Charts 1 week in a row

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>>82005775

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>>82003648
>he's never heard of an eggplant

this is the funniest fucking thread I have seen in days

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>>82002946
god damn bruh

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I hope you guys have done your stretching today

>>82003461
lol

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>Andrew D. Basiago is a Washington lawyer running for president as an independent in 2016. As a side project, he runs Project Pegasus, a group dedicated to lobbying the government to release the secrets of teleportation and time travel for the benefit of mankind. Basiago also refers to himself as "the discoverer of life on Mars." He claims to be one of two "planetary-level whistle blowers" and also describes himself as an "indigo child".

>He began telling the story that he had been a child participant in a top secret DARPA programme experimenting with time travel and teleportation in the early 1970s. These technologies were invented of course by Nikola Tesla. Basiago claims to have travelled one million years into the past, as well as having been present at Lincoln's Gettysberg address and having visited 2045

>He claims to have teleported to Mars in the 1980s as an Earth ambassador to the Martian civilisation. Basiago now claims that President Obama was a fellow Mars traveller back in the day, then living under the moniker "Barry Soetoro."

Fighting guest
Hunting guest
Fighting guest
Political guest
Fighting guest
Science guest
Fighting guest
Oh sweet! A comedian!
>Comedian talks about fighting and politics.

>>82001954
Dr. Rejnor Borg is a Norwegian Marijuinanatologist, who has developed a marijuana based oil alternative for automobiles

>>82002946
Jesus

>big dick mcgee is a ufc fighter. Joe interrupts him to tell a joke one too many times. Mcgee, seeing that no one is laughing, punches fuck out of joe and proceeds to assrape him while joe pretends to resist

>Christopher Poole is the former owner of the image board 4chan and now works at Google.

>jamie "pull that up" audio engineer and problem solver, the poscast you've all been waiting for, find out if he does psychodynamics and edible supplements on google while doing pull ups

>>82013136
>highimtom710
kek

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Mack Mackey is a big game hunter/survivalist who performed a hybrid crocodile-bull penis transplant on himself using only surgical tools he made from self-quarried granite.

>>82005775
>So bizarre...

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>>82001954
>Davis Cho is a reporter for Vice News who is currently investigating the potential benefits of medical DMT in retirment facilities

>Richard Spencer is a CIA operative, president of the National Policy Institute and an outspoken gay rights advocate with a new book on nutrition and weight loss

>Brian Barumbae is a nutirionist, travel writer, entrepeneur, UFC fighter, musician, psychologist, hunter, actor and YouTube personality who has received criticism for his views on transgender vegetables being used in schools

>>82004078
laff'd

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>>82012817
lmao

>>82013136
>>82018267
>Thats first comment
OurGuy

>Baker Vandermar is the guy that cleans up the puke at the Comedy Store as well as the bits of skull and brain on the rare occasion a hack comedian decides to blow his brain out in the green room. Joe Rogan will talk over the first 20 minutes of the interview while the last 3 hours of the interview will just be Joey Diaz screaming and moaning as the 15 edibles he consumed at the start of the interview kick in.

>Agar Thackery is a celebrity chef, nutritionist, environmental journalist and television personality. His new book "Cooking with Crap: Nature's Brown Gold" is on bookshelves now.

>>82005629
hey, I enjoy listening to Randall Carlson anf Graham Hancock. The last ice age and possibly predating human cultures are fascinating topics that aren't really expöored much.

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I'm pretty sure I could beat the shit out of Joe Rogan using my Krav Maga fightng style. He is old and i'm younger and bigger.