Seagal General

>>81989109

what's that talentless hack in the middle doing with those superstars?

>>81989146
The one in the middle is a "has-been"

the other two are what you'd call a "never-was"

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>>81989146
Iko and Scott are shooting a movie in Thailand. They ran into Seagal who was probably hooking up with ladyboys

>>81989109
What do you think Seagal is thinking on this moment because let's face it he has no idea who Iko and Scott are, I doubt he keeps up with the action movie scene

>>81989304
>why am i here, i need to get back to russia to snatch every motherfucker birth day

>tfw you are still sowee bout dose fiddy bugs

>>81989304
>Do these two nobodies realise I could kill them with a flourish of my wrists
>I'm wasting my time here, I could be hunting down criminals

>>81989713
not enough mumbling

>>81989713
didnt stop catch his breath mid-sentence either

any new Seagal kinos out?

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>>81989109
i thought Seagal was a big guy

whuthaben?

>>81990550
Getting ready for a comeback

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>>81989194
Seagal was giving aikido training for the Thailand army and counter terrorism training for the thai secret service

His warrior skills are in high demand these days

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>>81990586
Why would Seagal need a comeback?

He's already a big superstar (and sex symbol) in Russia, Belarus, Romania, Serbia and that tiny portion in Ukraine that is controlled by the separatists.

>>81990623
tfw no personal Seagal sensei

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This fucking guy.

>>81991595
>under siege

FORTY KEKS

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One day an executive walked into Seagal's trailer and found Hollywood's reigning manly man... weeping.

"Oh, I'm reading this script," Seagal explained, still misty. "It's the most incredible script I've ever read."

"That's fantastic," the executive said, "Who wrote it?"

"I did," he replied.

>>81990550
Why the fuck is he wearing TWO WATCHES ???

>>81990550
Is that Marcin Gortat? My favorite trashman

>>81991804
Tactical

>>81991804
Tactical watch switching

>>81991853
>>81991898

Thats some next level autism right there

>>81991145
Seagal needs to drop the gaybar goatee before thinking about making a comeback.
Alternatively he should shave it into a thick stache

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>>81991947
Its a CIA thang

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Greatest fighter of all time

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>>81991804
One shows the time, the other one counts down to your death

>>81990550
he's like 6' or 6'1, pretty average guy

>>81989109
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbRMqd3n3-o
THIS is rock and roll

>>81989109
Dey took har

>>81993637
How does he make it look so easy, lads?

>>81993637
This fucking guy. He's such a goddamn con and it makes it all ten times funnier.

>>81993637
Aikido fags are a disgrace to martial arts
>grab my wrist
>no my other wrist
>these techniques are so powerful you can't compete with them
fucking delete urselves

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>>81993637

I prefer this style myself

>>81991145
>balance bracelet

Holy fuck no wonder. It's the source of his meme power!

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>>81995862
>>81993637
True master.

>>81997143
What is this strange ritual?

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Is there anyone he couldn't kill?

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>>81998064

The punani mating ritual. Guaranteed success.

>>81995835
wat

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Required viewing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfNW1ERej0A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rrR9Rtq8CY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLe_BZ1mo3I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cUNU8GkMso

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2B9jyZTp4w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1il9FT5eZ0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y434mL2B1Zg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhITLxD595c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuqpR7BK3M0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB1RvU8UR38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbRMqd3n3-o

Required reading:

https://theflyingguillotine.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/the-ridiculousness-of-steven-seagal-part-1/

https://theflyingguillotine.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/ridicuousness-seagal-part-2/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_cKAadvooQ
Anyone addicted to seagal?
In ''Driven To Kill'' every fight scene there is this goofy bagpipe music

The fact that virtually everyone hates Seagal makes it much better to take the seagalpill
Who else /directtohomevideo/ here?

Kino coming through.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRyZvMWaalo

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>>81999659
>that The Glimmer Man story

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Fresh Seagal

>>81990550
guy on the left is 6'11

>>81993637
he makes it look so effortless

based

>>81998073
fucking kek what a genius

>>81993637
So it's basically like WWE. The guys are literally tumbling on their own next to him.