BRING MY COFFEE BOY

No post on Sunday.

Ban evading already?

>>81925124
Right you are, Harry!

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Perhaps one can bring that old school punishment back by forcing a victim to watch one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

BUT LAST YEAR LAST YEAR I HAD 37

>>81925116

Was it stare rape?

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BRING ME MY COFFE BOY? More like bring me one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises boy. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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>>81925311

Justiiiiiiiice!

>>81925281
But this year you have 33 and that's dubs, my little pumpkin!

Fine day, Sunday.

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Was it a power play?

>>81927435
>They mean every flavour
>There's chocolate and peppermint, but there's also urine, arse, fungi and trout.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OOaPcKTSAo

>>81925116
i always wondered what the fuck was this guys problem?

>>81928856
He was a consul of Rome.

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>>81925116
what did (((they))) mean by this?

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>>81927949
>tfw you can finally learn what pussy tastes like
>it's literally salty milk coins

who was "coffee boy"? is there a deeper, darker secret to the Dursley family?

>>81929428
niqqa watchu talkin about thas some stank ass pussy you be eatin

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>I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary
What did he mean by this?

>>81929428
How do you know hot the pussy bean and not the salty milk coins bean?

>>81929707
He lived in the attic. He was...special.

>>81925116
SO I CAN POUR IT ALL OVER YOU

>>81929990
it's salty coins, with some B.O. because she had a long day or MIDLY salty coins. fuck off.

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Watch it, Harry!

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>>81929428
>salty milk coins
how do you know what that tastes like

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No sir!

HERE HE COMES, THE BIRTHDAY BOYYYY, -HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON

>>81925116
Wil je ook een koekje, dikke?

>>81932718
>Clean out the toilet and try not to burn anything! I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day.

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>>81932761

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Who'd be writing to YOU?

>>81932343
edit pls

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>>81932761

>>81927949
What if the flavour was jelly bean. What would that taste like?
Or what about nothing?
Do they have abstract French emotions like ennui? I mean its EVERY flavour right?

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>>81932761
I'm laughing but I have no idea why. Why is this funny?

>>81933250
....no one.

QUIVERING MOUND OF LOVE PUDDING

FINE DAY SUNDAY

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Caption this.

UP UP UPVOTE TUMBLR STYLE

>>81925143
This is the only time he calls him "Harry" in the entire series and it's really weird.

>>81925116
OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN

>>81935906
HAGED

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>>81925116
BRING ME BABA BOY

>ywn be a cute femboy wearing a revealing maid's outfit as you spend your life serving coffee to your master every morning
>ywn feel the strange mix of pain and pleasure as he lightly slaps your balls whenever he pleases while your tiny dick is locked up in a chastity cage, never to be used again
>ywn forget to do the dishes before he comes home and get punished by him as he bends you over the kitchen table and fucks your tight boipucci raw

>>81935906
>Mmm yes dear brap it all in my fanny, fill me up like a balloooooon

>>81932456
NOT ONE SINGLE BLASTED STUPID LETTER

>>81927435
WE'LL TAKE THE SLUT

>>81936875
lmao is that real?

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE

>>81927949
>every
>flavour

>Cherry, Balsamic Vinegar, Banana, Shrimp cocktail, Paranoia, Marmite, Dog Chow Mein, Root Beer, Memories of raping a girl in Minnesota in 1989, Hollandaise Sauce, Eye of Newt, Liquorice flavoured edible panties

>>81939278
Yeah that's a real photo of Richard Griffiths aged 7

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>>81932761

Fine day, Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week.
Why is that, /tv/?

>>81925267
>>81925329
Double dosage today doc? I'm feeling woozy

>>81942198
No shitposts on sundays sir?

Y'all niggas need Jesus

>>81942312
Right you are, anon!

>>81933250
Why are the dursleys dressed like its 1952?
isnt this set in the 90s? what were they thinking?

>>81927435
>bertie botts was later run out of business by fracis froople's "just the beans that actually taste good"