Sell me this pen /tv/

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uh well it clicks!!!

>>81792193
Buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.

>>81792237
o shit

>>81792193
You don't deserve to buy this pen. Your dimestore haircut just tells me you can't even afford it.

Least inspired Martin movie. The characters all sucked.

>>81792317
pleb detected

>>81792317
it felt too much like Goodfellas

>>81792193

Write down your bank account information for me on this napkin

>>81792336
There's no arc for anyone. They just are who they are.

>>81792378
so?

>Oh, you don't want that pen. That pen comes with far too many responsibilities. From the way you're looking at me, you seem like the sort who breaks pens often, due to high blood pressure. That pen you're holding? That isn't the stock-standard "fuck this bullshit, I'll write with anything right now because I'm so angry" pen. That pen is the smoothest you'll have the divine pleasure of signing off, with.

>In fact, I'm not entirely sure you should be even holding that pen right now, because you look far too intense to even be wielding it. That pen is for people who can sit back once in awhile and appreciate the finer things in life like art, Portugese sunsets and women who shine without makeup. That pen, Mr. Belfort, is for people who feel the power of creativity flow through them as they use it even during the seemingly most-blasé moments of their life.

>Are you sure you want this pen, Mr. Belfort? There are many who'd gladly trade everything they own to be in the position of wielding such a mighty tool. Many who DO appreciate the beauty of such a finely-crafted instrument.

>By now, Mr. Belfort, you've already decided whether or not you want this pen. All that remains is to sign off on the dotted-line with it.

>>81792347
Getting his dick sucked*

Do you give the bitch attention when she's sucking on your meat?

Sell me this pen
Sell meth ispen
Sell meth, Ispen.

Ispen, why arn't you selling meth?

>>81792408
And you called me a pleb?

>>81792438
SELL SOME MOTHER FUCKING METH, ISPEN, RIGHT NOW.

>>81792428
dude u should write movies

>>81792443
yup, and you still are.

I wouldn't buy that pen or this uninspired trash.

>>81792438
This is Ispen - i was robbed by some asshole named Leonardo. He took all my stash

Loud noises, the fucking movie. Completely forgettable.

>>81792679
>post count didn't rise
>same neckbeard samefagging because he's a butthurt pleb
lol

>>81792378
>le everyone must have an arc! meme
You know where you need to go

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>>81792708
>>81792979

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>>81792979
Someone should. It doesn't need to be everyone. Do you know what a story is?

>>81792193
this pen wins oscars
money please

The pen has coke inside of it

It only costs $0.10, and you can pay with credit.

the pen is a LUCKY PENNY SHOP

>>81792193
>If you were such a good businessman why did you end up doing shitty seminars for a bunch of losers?

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>>81792193
You NEED it to fit in, goyim!

Also, take this 3 year extended warranty for only 700% of the purchase price. A good bargain my good gentile!

>>81792193
I've actually done this for a sales job, it was a blue bic, I got the job quit within a week

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>>81792193
it makes a clicky noise. you can, uh, stab people with it

>>81792193

This pen has a strange power that attracts cunnys.

>>81793133

Tell me more about stories

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Bury this pen for a thousand years and itll be worth a lot. That's called investment indie.

>>81792378
not everything is anime

>>81792378

>he forgot he was in the middle of his depressive posting on anonymous image boards arc

I can't blane ya, it's a tedious arc and the final boss is lame as hell. I hope your next arc will be more interesting.

>>81792193
I was out of work just after this movie came out and was applying for any and all jobs, got an interview for some bullshit cleaning products sales job and the faggot asked me to do this, he was so fucking smug.

>>81792237
fucking kek

>>81792237
That would honestly get me.

>>81795161
whats the final boss? gook moot or... myself? or just some shitposter troll?

>>81795267
Nothing is more cringy than people who start applying movie quotes and words into anything that doesn't involve a discussion of the movie.

I still remember the time when Superbad came out that every single dweeb changed their usernames for online gaming into a variation of 'McLovin'.

>>81795776
you know you really wouldn't care so much about this bullshit if you werent so sexually frustrated 2bh

you need to get laid m8. doctors orders

Just grab the pen and say you don't want to sell it to him because you want it and you think you'll keep it. When he asks for it back to continue his demonstration tell him maybe for the right price.

>>81792193
It's a big pen

>>81792193
The pen has many phallic qualities you see.

>>81796047
>>81796047
>>81796047
>>81796047

>>81792193
It's a Bic pen (4u)

It's for you

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>>81792193
How about a magic trick? Look at this pen closely...

This is the most autistic thread I have read in awhile

>>81792237
Wew

>>81792193
Well uhhhh it's a nice pen

It's the pen held by Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie Wolf of Wall Street!

>>81792193
that was a few years ago, before the movie came out, I was interviewing for a job

head of sales asks me to sell the pen. I took the pen and said that I admire their business, but their sales dept is severel understaffed. I'm a good salesman and I'll be glad to join them. One caveat - if they hire me they need to buy the pen also.

There was a moment of silence, then head of sales thanked me, told me I could keep the pen and showed me out.

shit was embarassing

*takes pen*

what pen?

>>81792317
>>81792336
More like faggot pleb detected. What a gay.

>>81792237
fuck ok

>>81795161
blane?

>>81792491
savage

>>81792237

I would by that pen

>>81792193
Ok, 10 bucks, thank you and come again.

>>81792193
You can draw loli with it

>>81792237
what's the price?

>>81801545
>I'm a good salesman and I'll be glad to join them. One caveat - if they hire me they need to buy the pen also.
>this the kind of person on /tv/

>>81794586
>A good bargain my good gentile!
audibly kek'd

>>81792193
you can take this pen and shove it up your ass!
>it'll be fun

>>81803950
actually being a good salesman does not require you to be extrovert or any kind of chad. the best salespeople I knew were pretty reserved

its a great pen, you can shove it up your faggot ass and achieve a prostate orgasm and also it writes.

>>81792237
Damn that's an offer no one could refuse.

>>81792237
you are a genius anon

>>81792193
Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad’s. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully, you’ll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I’m talking to you, Butch. I got something for you.

>>81804576
This pen I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make wrist penes. Up till then people just carried pocket penes. It was bought by private Doughboy Ernie Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. It was your great-grandfather’s war pen and he wore it every day he was in that war. When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the pen off, put it an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed until your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War II. Your great-grandfather gave this pen to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane’s luck wasn’t as good as his old man’s. Dane was a Marine and he was killed, along with the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leaving that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he’d never seen in the flesh, his gold pen. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his dad’s gold pen.

>>81804596
This pen. This pen was on your daddy’s wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the pen it’d be confiscated, taken away. The way your dad looked at it, that pen was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this pen up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the pen. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, you must buy this pen!

I take the pen and refuse to sell it to him.
Nigga just gave me a free a pen.

>>81804022
Where did I say you have to be extroverted?
His attempt at persuasion was fucking pathetic, he literally gave the pen more value than himself

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>>81792193
GO AHEAD! TAKE IT!!