LOTR General

Nail it to a boat

put it in any other volcano. no one can reach into lava to retrieve it. maybe find a nice volcano closer to the shire? duh

>>81761213
>on dick
>free toothy bj from gollum

Inb4
>muh ocean

You would not be able to will yourself into dropping it.

>>81761213
I'm still convinced that a continuous cycle of eating, shitting out, then re-eating the ring till he got to the volcano would work.

smash it really hard with an axe

Stash it at Bombadil's house

>>81761253

since the ring really wants to be found i guess some crazy sequence of events would cause the ring to get out of there

>>81761267
Sauron's will to be inside a hobbit

LOTR threads are the comfiest part of /tv/.

>>81761248
Specifically, an elvish boat leaving for numenor or wherever it is.

>>81761253
>nice volcano closer to the shire
how many fucking volcanoes in middle earth are there?

>>81761337
wouldn't it be really fucking easy for Sauron to just hijack a boat?

>>81761213
I'd use it to spy on underage and various princesses undressing and stuff

Eventually I'd kill myself out of disgust.

>>81761253
> Volcano erupts
> Ring flies out of lava due to magical properties
> Is found by your mother
> Ring leaves her just like your father did

>>81761253
>ring flies out of the volcano during erruption

Nail it to a great eagle

>>81761523
Put it on Gandalfs staff and have him fireball it into space

Give it to Faramir

>>81761213
Give it to George Lucas

>>81761213
> LOTR General

honestly kill yourself you faggot

just post a good LotR related idea, or joke or troll you fucking moron. that's all you need

when you create a General, since they're by definition just posted because no thread is up, quality of threads declines drastically.

Tell me. When was the last Doctor Who or GoT thread on /tv/?

if you want to see what shit General are, just go to /who/ or /jojo/ on /a/.

some fucking fag ruined Star Trek threads on /tv/ recently by posting /trek/ generals. Please for the love of christ don't let this happen to Lord of the Rings threads which are pretty consistently funny

Why didn't Gandalf just shoot the ring into space with his magic? Surely he can generate a spell that'll push a tiny ring out of orbit

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>>81761453
damn...

>>81762188
At Max Q the ring just falls back to ME

>>81762136
this I posted a Why didn't the eagles just fly the ring to mordor thread just to see how easy I would get replies and within 10 minutes already had 54 replies

>>81762299

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>81762299
>Why didn't the eagles just fly the ring to mordor
Well that was the plan all along, but they were diverted by Saruman. What were Gandalf's last words before being taken down by the Balrog? "Fly, you fools".

>>81761419
not if he doesn't know.
what, are you going to fucking tell him?

I'll just keep it because I am morally righteous and it wont affect me I'll definitely be ok holding it as long as I keep it safe and the only way to do that is to make sure that no one else gets it it is mine and mine alone only I can have it this is my ring my precious ring I am going to keep it with me forever and if anyone else touches it I will kill them for the safety of everyone else it is mine all mine only mine mine to keep mine to have mine to hold precious ring precious ring the precious ring only mine my precious ring my precious

well i would use the ring for the greater good i'm pretty sure it wouldnt negatively effect me

>>81762545
What the fuck was his problem?

>>81762545
if Isildur was a woman this wouldn't have happened
especially since the ring had no diamond on it so it had no value for a woman

>>81761213

I'd watch Galadriel riverdance into mordor with it and throw it in mt doom

Wear it and use my power to get myself my own cunny harem. Then look upon the disgust of the Nazgul as they strike me down while i'm fucking all the ripe cunny of Middle Earth.

>>81762545
Elrond was a pussy for not just killing him

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>>81761213
Give it to this guy
Remote control an Uruk into mt doom

>>81762896
Not canon reeeeeeeeee

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I wish the meme had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Could that have just hidden it in the Balrogs ass?

Aren't they loyal only to Morgoth?

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>When you realise the "Why didn"t Sauron put guards in front of the Mount Doom entrance" is a genuinen criticism that can't be refuted by Tolkienfags

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>>81764337
SHARE THE LOAD

>>81761213
You can't nobody can. Thats why it literally took divide intervention to destroy it.

>>81764365
Arrogance?
I mean why would he be afraid

>>81764416
>LE HUBRIS
Is not a valid argument

>>81764365
He had an entire army outside of the volcano

>>81761213
put it around anon's cock like a cockring. no one would find it

>>81764481
THE ENTRANCE

Why didn't he guard the ENTRANCE

Better yet why didn't he collapse the entrance. Literally what was the point of keeping open the entrance to the one volcano where the ring could be destroyed. It makes no sense and is a huge convenience flaw

>>81764428
Explain why then.

>>81764508
In case he wanted to make more jewelry

>>81764526
I can't? The only reason the entrance wasn't guarded because the writer needed that convenient flaw in Saurons tactical choices to create his story
>>81764537
So why didn't he just create a second piece of jewelry and then collapse the entrance instead of spending resources and time on a wild goose chase to find the ring

>>81761213

There are tons of ways to make it totally impossible to get to. Movie magic aside.

You could put it into a series of locked boxes loaded with mortar and dump it into the deepest part of the sea.

Then it would be found in the middle earth atomic age
and middle america would use it to nuke Harad

>>81764508
Because it was a magic forge and the only one of it's kind. He needed it. That said the idiot should have actually put some fucking guards around it. Or at least some beasts.

>>81764630
Exactly there should have been some kind of ferocious beast guarding it or something

E SEAL DOOR

All you people in these threads completely misunderstand the concept of magic in the Middle Earth. Magic is something inexplicable, something that happens against all odds. That means that all the stupid scenarios of dumping the ring into the sea would lead to one outcome - by the MAGICAL nature of the ring it would be INEXPLICABLY found AGAINST ALL ODDS

>>81764508
Why the fuck would you need to when you have a fucking army surrounding the fucking thing? And besides frodo and sam had orc disguises on going to the mountain. They already had the encounter with orcs and got out of it by making them fight. That part you wanted to see so badly in the books already happened earlier. And had Tolkien put guards at the entrance, he would have just changed the story to having frodo and Sam sneak past them with their disguises instead of them doing it earlier.

Why didn't they just dig underneath mordor until they reached the bottom of the volcano? Then they make a little hole where a steady, but small, lava flow pours onto the ring?

Or at least dig up to the entrence and go from there.

>>81764582
>confirmed for not having read the book
Sauron has allies in the deepest parts of the sea. Shit plan desu.

Why didnt they just melt some more gold and then fill in the hole so no one could wear it

>>81764721
When Frodo finally goes to the Cracks of Doom he is met with practically no resistance. This seems uncharacteristic of Sauron which makes it a flaw in the plot. Just to be safe, Sauron could have heavily guarded Mount Doom to prevent the destruction of the Ring: so again,why didn't he do so?

>>81764508
This is the point of the story. Sauron is so obsessed with the ring that he can't even THINK about someone wanting to destroy it. Last time some nigger went into Mount Doom with the ring it turned out fine for him.

>>81764508
Also Sauron WANTS people to get into the entrance to mt doom. The closer they are to the place where it was forged the stronger it's influence is. That's why isildur couldn't destroy it, that's why frodo couldn't destroy it. Once they claim the ring the easier it is for Sauron to find them. Read the fucking books wikifag

>>81764786
Ah yeah but he did go into Mount Doom with the intention of destroying it and he knew the elf dude wanted it to be destroyed so he should have anticipated it could happen again.

>>81764761
Besides the fact frodo was nearly dead from just being on the face of a volcano itself, I'd hardly consider that no resistance. And like I said before, he wants whoever has the ring to make it inside the volcano. That's where his influence is strongest and he can easily find the one who claimed it and get it from them then. There's no reason to make it impossible to gain entrance to

>>81764843
>so he should have anticipated
I already told you. He has no mind for beautiful or small things like Hobbits. He can't comprehend this. It's a major fucking plot point. He ANTICIPATED that the ring's power can corrupt anyone when it could corrupt the Numenorean fucking prince that beat him. The power of the ring is the strongest inside Mount Doom. And you know what? Sauron was right. The ring DID corrupt Frodo in the end.
BTW this is also the reason they didn't use eagles cause Sauron was anticipating exactly that.

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This game was the shit

>>81764879
Okay so Frodo is alone and enters Mount Doom now the orcs are out being BTFO by Aragorn so who is going to take the ring from Frodo and give it to Sauron at this point?

He then should have kept the entrance open but he should have kept a beast there that would kill the ring wielder in the volcano

>>81764919
The orcs lost cause the ring was destroyed. I must conclude you have neither read the book nor watched the movie.

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>>81761213
>Hide it up my ass
But Gandalf would look there

Bit of a long quote, but here's Tolkien on what would have been the outcome had Frodo kept the Ring and Gollum hadn't been there.

Frodo had become a considerable person, but of a special kind: in spiritual enlargement rather
than in increase of physical or mental power; his will was much stronger than it had been, but so far
it had been exercised in resisting not using the Ring and with the object of destroying it. He needed
time, much time, before he could control the Ring or (which in such a case is the same) before it
could control him; before his will and arrogance could grow to a stature in which he could dominate
other major hostile wills. Even so for a long time his acts and commands would still have to seem
'good' to him, to be for the benefit of others beside himself.
The situation as between Frodo with the Ring and the Eight might be compared to that of a
small brave man armed with a devastating weapon, faced by eight savage warriors of great strength
and agility armed with poisoned blades. The man's weakness was that he did not know how to use
his weapon yet; and he was by temperament and training averse to violence. Their weakness that
the man's weapon was a thing that filled them with fear as an object of terror in their religious cult,
by which they had been conditioned to treat one who wielded it with servility. I think they would
have shown 'servility'. They would have greeted Frodo as 'Lord'.

>>81762136
generals do spawn more memes at least
but yeah for a show/movie series that isn't currently running, making a general is a shit idea

I never saw anyone refute the "bury it in a 200 ft hole" idea in the previous threads. Seriously, why wouldn't it work?

>>81764983

With fair speeches they would
have induced him to leave the Sammath Naur – for instance 'to look upon his new kingdom, and
behold afar with his new sight the abode of power that he must now claim and turn to his own
purposes'. Once outside the chamber while he was gazing some of them would have destroyed the
entrance. Frodo would by then probably have been already too enmeshed in great plans of reformed
rule – like but far greater and wider than the vision that tempted Sam – to heed this. But if
he still preserved some sanity and partly understood the significance of it, so that he refused now to
go with them to Barad-dûr, they would simply have waited. Until Sauron himself came. In any case
a confrontation of Frodo and Sauron would soon have taken place, if the Ring was intact. Its result
was inevitable. Frodo would have been utterly overthrown: crushed to dust, or preserved in torment
as a gibbering slave. Sauron would not have feared the Ring! It was his own and under his will.
Even from afar he had an effect upon it, to make it work for its return to himself. In his actual
presence none but very few of equal stature could have hoped to withhold it from him.

>>81764919
Frodo will. Nobody needs to take it from him. Under Saurons influence he'll gladly walk up to Sauron himself and hand it over. If not that then he'll just die somewhere and the nazgul can retrieve it. Plus there are millions and millions of orcs and goblins everywhere. If Aragon wasn't at the gates at that moment they could have just gone and grabbed it also.

But none of them really have to like I said. Frodo wasn't going to destroy it at that point

>>81765003
Cause they are fucking Balrogs and shit underneath the earth. Read the fucking book.

>>81765003
Hiding the ring = defeat. Sauron still grows in power without the ring.

The ring HAD to be destroyed. That's why they felt the need to make a hobbit walk across an entire continent.

>muh eagles
They would've been spotted and shot down with arrows or eaten by Fell Beasts.

LOTR is watertight apart from Tom Bombadil which is more of a novel oddity than a plothole.

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>>81765003
You know the concept of digging exists in Middle Earth, right?

>>81765003
It could only work in delaying the ring from being found for a while. Shit man, it was in a fucking riverbed for a few thousand years or something until deagol found it. If anyone is near it, even if it's just underground, if someone is near they'll be compelled to find it somehow. Hiding the ring isn't a very good option anyway as it only means Sauron gets to stick around for even longer

>>81765064
>>81765077

I didn't mean dig a hole to the center of the earth you fucking faggots. I mean find a well, throw it in, and fill in the well.

>>81765111

The only reason Deagol found it is because it was accessible. Hard to find, but accessible. You can't exactly stumble upon the ring if there is 100 feet of dirt on top of it.

>if someone is near they'll be compelled to find it somehow

If the ring can just compel people to find it, that invalidates every hiding place... what's the fucking point of this thread then.

>>81761213
>skim it like a rock to the other continent

>>81765167
If the Nazgul are up and about and Sauron is as strong as he is when Fellowship begins they'll be drawn to that spot, figure it out then someone will dig it up.

Put it in a jar of black licorice.

Why didn't Sauron just make an earring and wear it under his helmet?

>>81765119
So bury it deep but not very deep. What exactly makes you think the dwarfen kings with the rings wouldn't just get it out? They would still know where to find the ring. Sauron and the others are connected to it. Read the book.

>>81765167
There is life underneath the earth. The ring corrupts life. It makes itself accessible, it fucking wants to be found. It is not dead matter.

>>81765263
>bring the ring that a corrupted Maiar to the place where other Maiar hang out
Jesus Christ you saw in the fucking movie that Galadriel wasn't immune to the rings power. They seem to be only 1 other dude in this thread who paid attention to the movie. For the rest the movie seems to have been too complex.

>>81765540
Thats absurd. What kind of old, senile retard would write a trash novel such as that.

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>>81765588
A scholar in his 40 with war experience. It's not hard for me to believe that a virgin high school dropout millennial reddit user such as yourself would struggle with his ideas and concept.

>>81764508
Legit answer here:
Sauron didn't think anyone would destroy it.
First, it's only when the ring is in the fucking volcano Sauron realises destroying it was the plan; prior to then he thought people would hide it or use it.

Second, probably no one in the world could resist the ring's power and actually willingly destroy it, and no one ever did resist it fully.
Frodo didn't end up destroying it, Gollum attacked him and he fell.
Gandalf, Elrond and Galadriel were the wisest, most wilful creatures in the LotR and they straight up rejected the ring because they knew they couldn't resist it.

So in the end, it was chance. The real conclusion is that Sauron should have put a guard rail around the lava so people couldn't fall in.

>>81761213
put the ring in a maximum security prison cell.
wait for Sauron to manifest inside the prison cell.
Congrats, you now have Sauron locked away forever.

>>81765740
He would manipulate the guards into releasing him through telepathy
>no guards
He'd starve

>>81765801
easy. you have a really long conveyor belt and food spaced out evenly on it so every day he has three square meals dropped into his prison cell.

checkmate, your move.

>>81765856
What if the end of the conveyer belt needs repairs? The engineer would be in telepathy range.

>>81765901
you have the dwarves build it. it never needs repairs then.

>mount doom

Defend this corny as fuck name tolkienfags

>>81765917
Dwarves can't build conveyer belts with that technology. Name one mentioned in the book?

I'd probably throw it down that big pit in moria

>>81766148
No toilets were mentioned in the book. doesn't mean they don't exist in the tolkienverse.

I think the obvious answer is to use that black powder that saruman had made and create a rocket to land through the top of the volcano.

I'm sure those dwarven engineers could create the frame and there would be enough elven mathamaticians to calculate the trajectory. Even the eagles could be used as a last minute escort to clear any lingering nazgul.

UNO RINGO

>>81766086
>Black Forest
>Yellowstone
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcano

Wow who writes this shit

>>81761213
Middle earth cinematic universe when?

>>81761291
>since the ring really wants to be found i guess some crazy sequence of events would cause the ring to get out of there
Yeah, in like hundreds or thousands of years, giving everybody plenty of time to defeat the orcs.

>>81765119
>find a hole that was dug by people
>bury it in there
>think to yourself "there's no way anybody could ever dig that up"
genius

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>>81766590
Good lord, what a horrifying thought.

>>81766086
>implying its real name isn't Orodruin

throw it in a black hole

>>81761253
The point wasn't to hide it, it had to be destroyed. While it existed, Sauron got more powerful.

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So take shipping container, fill it with dick cheese, vagina cheese, cum, cum rags, cum socks, very dirty socks, vomit, hangover diarrhea, menstrual blood, shit from your teeth when you floss after few days of not flossing, homeless clothing and mattresses, pus that comes from your throat when you have tonsillitis, wash hobos collect water and evaporate it to have pure dirt, feces and urine of mentally unstable peoples, robots from r9k, gypsies. Put the ring inside it.