/tv/ rewrites The Phantom Menace

>>81757238
>Darth Jar Jar is raping Queen Amadala in his private suite

>>81757238

>INTERIOR SPACESHIP
> QUI GON JINN and OBI-WAN KENOBI look deeply concerned.

>"REEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEE" (Obi Wan Kenobi)
>"I agree" (Qui Gon Jinn)
>"BRAAAAPPPFFFT" (Obi Wan Kenobi)
>"What?" (Qui Gon Jinn)
>camera pans out and captures spaceship and trade federation ship with the planet naboo in the background
>McDonaldsAd.mp3 starts playing

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>>81757305

>Jedi master NIGGER STINX is fucking YADDLE while YODA looks on and strokes his tiny green dingus

It's honestly fine how it is. Just tone down Jar Jar.

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Honestly? It should have been like the novel, which had a bunch of good stuff in it.

>Anakin cries when he leaves his mom and when he's first rejected by the Jedi council
>Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's argument on Coruscant over Anakin is more heated and ends on with them on bad terms, making Obi-Wan's apology to his master later have more meaning
>A more in-depth explanation of the Sith's history and the Rule of Two
>An intro where Anakin is racing pods and gets BTFO by Sebulba (This is only mentioned in the film)
>A scene where Anakin helps a wounded Tusken Raider in the desert
>A scene where Anakin fights Greedo after the Boonta Eve race, foreshadowing him giving into his anger and emotions (This is actually a deleted scene that was cut from the film)

I don't understand how the novel can be so good yet the film is so meh, especially since the scenes I mentioned are literally the only differences between the 2 in terms of story.

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>>81757734
>It's honestly fine how it is

QuI gin jinn Betts for anakin wins and sells jar jar for enough money to buy Anakins mother

No midichrolians. Just another mystical explanation of the Force.

>>81757238
Obi-Wan is Yoda's only student and is sent to Naboo to investigate strange happenings on behalf of Queen Amidala.

During the investigation, after a rough start, Obi-Wan befriends a teenage Anakin Skywalker once the latter proves his usefulness and displays considerable force sensitivity.

Eventually the two come across Darth Maul (the titular phantom menace in this treatment) and uncovers his nefarious plot to instigate a war between the people of Naboo and the Gungans (WWI style).

Although Darth Maul escapes, his intended war is narrowly avoided. As a reward for their accomplishments, Obi-Wan becomes a Master and Anakin his student. The Jedi promise to continue looking into the Maul matter as they fear the implications of what his existence suggestions.

Other notes:

Jedi are not an interplanetary organization and wield much less influence than they do in the actual films.

No Jar Jar Binks, R2, or C3PO.

No midichlorians

Like ANH, we only see two or three planets. Nothing from the Original Trilogy and no similar environments either.

>>81757865
It's mainly because it was poorly executed. Lucas is not the best director when it comes to getting good performances and it really shows in the Phantom Menace.

Scenes like the one with Qui-Gon arguing with Obi-Wan are drained of any emotion and instead of being big character moments they just seem empty.

>Remove Qui-Gon character entirely
>Make Obi-wan Kenobi a total asshole in the beginning, but gradually become mild-mannered and at peace by the end
>Make Anakin a teenager, so it's the same actor in all of the prequels
>Make Anakin's character development become the complete opposite of Ob-Wan
>Keep Jar-Jar Binks, but keep him as a minor character with little screen time like the rest of the Gun-Guns
>Give Darth Maul more speaking time and reveal a little more of his backstory
>Make Padme attractive (an actual rack to hold on to would be nice)

18 years later and people still don't realize that Qui-Gon helped Anakin win the pod race.

>>81758542
Also, establish Ob-Wan as an alcoholic where he is seen drunk at a bar (again), and Yoda walks in and tell him to stop being foolish and come home. Obi-Wan, drunk off his ass, tells Yoda to cram it.

Yoda: test me, Obi-Wan, you always do
*uses force to yank bar stool out from under him
Disappointed in you, I am. If you continue to act this way, a Jedi you will never become.

>>81758659

How?

>>81757238
It doesn't need to be rewritten. It's as George wanted it to be and that's enough.