What's the best way of sneaking snacks into the movie theater?

I eat mine before I go and then drink some lead paint to confuse the body scanner. Once I'm in the theater I'll signal for a hall pass and go to the bathroom to vomit up the paint and the snacks.

>>81627469
theaters have scanners in America or is this supposed to be ironic??

>>81627503

Have you ever seen Total Recall? It's like that, with the full body internal scan as you walk in.

>>81627362
BUTTHOLE

>>81627362
>Wear a winter jacket with large pockets
>Put food in pocket
I can easily fit a whole footlong sub in the pocket of any of my coats plus a 1L beverage in the other pocket
>But it's too hot out
Just take the thing off once you get inside

I put my clam chowder in condoms and the put them in my person, if you follow. There is always a scene in a movie that is brapworthy, so whenever than comes on I let out a huge BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPP and get my chowder out.
I always enter the theatre wearing my trusty fedora, which I have lined with a porcelain bowl. I haven't figured out how to get a spoon in yet.

>>81627362
Don't try to boof anything, that's all I'll say. I thought I was being so clever and stuck two bags of reese's pieces up my ass for me and my wife, but got selected for a random cavity search. I thought about just bolting, but they had already read my facial biometrics at the door and I didn't want to catch a lifetime cineplex ban, so I went along with it.

"They're not really going to be able to find them," hah, famous last words. They brought in the snack sniffing dog who immediately alerted on me, the little bitch, and they ordered me to squat and cough. One sack of reese's fell out, they confiscated it and banned me for life, my wife divorced me, and now I can only watch 240p Russian bootlegs of new movies with loud russian dubbing over all the lines.

you can take whatever you want in in the uk
beers food etc

Pay a cinesmuggler to secretly smuggle them in and give them to you once in the theater
As a rule of thumb, the chinese tend to be the best cinesmugglers, but one time I paid this chink, and when I got my snacks he had already eaten half of them!

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>>81628226
>YFW SNACK COYOTE RANSOMS YOUR TWIZZLERS INTO INDENTURED SERVITUDE

I actually have a hallow testicle where I can store snacks through a flap of skin

It stretches pretty far too, on penis inspection I just tell them I have a condition and they're none the wiser

>>81627503
some of the bigger ones do, most just have security guards that give patdowns before entering

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>>81629218
>HIS THEATER DOESNT HAVE MANDATORY CAVITY SEARCHES

FALCONS ARE GREAT CUS THEY CAN CRAWL THROUGH THE AIR DUCTS AND MEET YOU INSIDE

>not just smuggling a flask of Wild Turkey 101 up your asshole and eating sugar-free gummy bears beforehand to engage diarrhea so it slips out your watery hole easily in the theater for drinking while cinema-viewing
I just bribe the ticket guardian to ignore my crab legs I keep in my coat.

I just put it in my pocket and walk in. The people that work there aren't paid enough to care.

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I keep a minimum seven chili bags in my trenchcoat, plus extra straws.

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>>81629218
>security guards that give patdowns before entering
KEK
fucking americans

>>81627362
I'm 37 and I have never once seen anyone at the movies put any effort into trying to find food on me.

>>81627607
With your pockets full of provisions, where do you put your gun?

>>81630973
I open carry.

>>81630973
Just in my hand