>...can I stay and watch?

>stupidbitchessaywhat

See that would've been a fine self deprecating joke to make and the French are perverted af anyway so it would've had many honhonhons and nothing would've come out of it.

Anyone have the pasta about him drawing a gun?

I love these stupid threads

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>>81498932
>*pulls out .45*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

>>81498876
>That's all well and good mon amie, but I've got a better story. There exists a store on a tri-state line about 8 miles out of my home town. It is a small store surrounded by pastures and agricultural industry, patronised and run by good, honest folk. The store is called "Sneed's Feed and Seed". A fortunate name given the nature of the stock and the surrounding businesses that rely on the namesake of the store for their livelihood. The store was formerly owned by Chuck. My question then is this: what do you believe Chuck supplied out of the store now run by Sneed, titled "Sneed's Feed and Seed."

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>...can I stay and watch?

that actually would have been perfect, succinct and cut the tension in the room

daily reminder there were shit loads of people on /tv/ vehemently defending rogen and raging at the french chick when this happened

>>81499208
I was one of those people AMA

>>81499005

Do they not check celebrities for weapons before they go in front of the camera in france?

>>81499240

you totally enjoyed the subway threads before right? but then it hit a little too close to home

>>81499409
not really I thought those were dumb shitposting but didn't get mad.

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>Smile wryly waiting for the audience's laughter to die down maintaining eye contact with Ornella the entire time
>Motion for the next person who tries to talk to stop before they can get a single word in
>Gesture for the cameraman to come closer
>Camera pans in
>Lean in closer
>Clear throat
>"Agincourt"

Who the fuck wears a tiny chain over a shirt? Literally 13 y-o kids that wanna showoff their shitty lil chain

I actually missed this hot meme ages ago and still have no idea what it means

>>81499401
>>81499144
>>81498913
Why should he have to put up with shit like that though?
I'm no fan of Jonah Hill, I think he's a talentless one-character actor whose character happens to be unfunny and unlikeable, but there's no reason at all he should have to deal with that kind of public mockery. His response was the perfect thing to do. It's not like he immediately just got angry at her for making fun of him, he said nothing for several jokes and then drew a line. That's what any self-respecting person would do.

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>>81499476

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Jonah: No more threesomes.
Host: What?
Jonah: I said, no more threesomes. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been in France a long time. They didn't go over there and tell you. I don't arrange threesomes anymore.
Host: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...
Jonah: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...
Host: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a show, I just came home and I haven't seen you ever and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Jonah: I'm sorry too. It's okay. No problem.
Host: Okay, salud.
Host: [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' friends.
Jonah: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
Host: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!

>>81499718
Kek, that's pretty god.

>>81499718
Host: I don't know who you are... I don't even know who I'm talking to...
Jonah: If that's true... If you don't know who I am, then... maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

>we will see how funny you are when my rabbi gets here

>I don't fantasize about you at all

>>81499676
>world famous supposed funnyman
>can't handle bants

french qt did nothing wrong, other than overestimate his talent

you can't prove her wrong with words

only thing jonah can do is lose weight and become sexier than brad pitt

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>>81499718
im dying

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>"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m a big target.

>Yeah, you’re right, I eat too much. I also drink too much. I could be a healthy hearted person like you… but I don’t like to eat vegetables.

>Well, you say what you want about me; I’m not dieting. I like… I like Subway. Seth Rogan likes me. Diabetes doctors like me.

>‘Cause I’m the real article. What I see is what I eat."

>>81498876
>and then you would leave
doesn't work. pay attention, senpai

>>81499718
Excellent.

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>>81501363

I still maintain this is the best one

>in this fantasy world you've created are you also funny?

>>81501600
This is awful

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Do only fat and ugly manlets post in these threads?

>>81501747
And triggered SJWs.

>>81499612
dumbfuck it's so if he gets arrested he can pawn it for bail money

didn't you read that reddit TIL?

>"haha you fucking slut"

Why make it so difficult bros? Be honest

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>>81501747
>fat manlets have experienced actual struggle in their lives and know how bad some words can hurt
>meanwhile lanklets have the emotional depth of a dumb roastie
Who would have thunk

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>>81499476
>fat seppo jew takes credit for an english victory

Imagine being the weather girl in that show and having to be all like "damn, Jonah Hill, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your fat body and disgusting jew neckbeard. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is fuck another A-list celebrity in her dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be her and not only sit in that chair while Jonah Hill Feldstein flaunts his retarded humor in front of you, the favorable audience and fake laughter barely concealing how unfunny and lame he is, and just sit there, joke after joke, hour after hour, while he perfected that act. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's A SERIOUS ACTOR and DAMN, JONAH HILL FELDSTEIN ACTS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his retarded manchild face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of show producers and sportsmen and later alleged rapists for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Algeria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the booger that's falling out of his ugly hooked nose as he licks it off to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in his "scorseseque (for that is what he calls himself)" character, the character he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous years. And then the producer calls for an apology, and you know you could blow every single person in this room before anyone even starts caring, but you sit there and endure, because you're the fucking weather girl. You're not going to lose your future minor role in a romcom over this. Just bear it. Apologize and bear it.

>>81499005
american high school VR

>>81501363
>he does not have a wife who likes him

>>81501363
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DIqwX5bkOE

>>81498876
>no because like I already said, you leave, what are you retarded?

>>81498876
What a great story. I'll tell the folks in Culiacan and Bogota that story.

>>81506086
>"I'm sure they've heard it enough already Jonas"

>>81498876
>IRL they would ask for both of us to leave the room

All those virgins and neckbeards beta cucks ITT.

The only true answer is to yell "allah ackbar"

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>>81507486
>How dare you, a woman, forget your place to not only address me directly with such haram speak, but to also do so without properly covering your face and head. Were it not for the laws of this land I would stone you myself here and now, using some day old meat balls from Subway.

Wow, man. I can't believe he really went there.

>>81507708
that actually wouldve worked cause of frances tolerance laws