The Breaking of the Balls

I didn't try to steal the ring, I didn't try to steal anything

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Why don't you go fuck yourself, Aragorn?

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>>81303774
I'm gonna bleed you like a stuck pig, like a stuck pig

I like these stairs. One hobbit goes one way and the other goes the other. And this smeagol's saying, "Whaddya want from me?"

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You know Spider, you're a fuckin' mumbling stuttering little fuck. You know that?

>>81303909
Fucking killed it. Chapeaux.

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For a second I thought I was dead, but when I heard all the noise I knew they were Rohirrim. Only Rohirrim talked that way. If they had been Uruk-hai, I wouldn't have heard a thing. I would have been dead.

>>81303749
Relax Frodo for crying out loud what's got into you I'm just breaking your balls a little bit and now you're getting fucking fresh

I mean what's right is right

Aragorn teach this kid a little fucking manners you know what I'm saying?

Give those Elvish hoodlums over there a drink too.

>Only one Elf over here

Give us all a drink drinks on me.

>No drinks on the house of Elrond

Have a drink with me-

>Drinks... are on the house of Elrond.

Fucking mess up my fellowship.

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Right after I got here I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and got maggoty bread for three stinking days. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a Uruk.

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>It was revenge for Helms Deep, and a lot of other things. And there was nothing that we could do about it. Gandalf was a made Maiar, and Saruman wasn't. And we had to sit still and take it. It was among the Istari. It was real greaseball shit.

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What am I, a mirage?

>>81304031
kek

>>81304159
kek

>>81304188
A mirage how? Like, I'm a fake? I'm here to fuckin' be seen through?

Frodo, I need my ring.
>Smeagol, relax.
I'm relaxed I need the ring.
>Relax, relax.
I need the ring.
>....
Everybody else obviously got their ring. I'm the only one who didn't. What am I a dwarf on wheels?

>>81304159
lel

>>81304263
No, just, the way your qualities are, they're few, you know, what?

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Oh, hey, Henry, Henry! Here's an arm!

>>81304159
KEK

You're gonna get your Ring, Sauron. You just gotta stop busting balls.

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>I know I’d go from rags to riches

You know you're a real jerk wasting all that water on one hobit

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YOU said I'm bringing ringwraiths on you?

I gotta listen to Gandalf because of YOUR shit?

You're ordering ME out?

You better get your own fucking fellowship, pal!

>>81304159
lol

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>>81304368
YOU BOUGHT YOUR RING YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY

>>81304399
WRAITHS ON WINGS!

>>81304442
>>81304399
GET OFF THE ROAD! QUICK!

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>I know there are hobbits, like my best friends, who would have gotten out of there the minute a wizard gave them a ring to carry. But I didn't. I got to admit the truth. It turned me on.

>>81304553
> It turned me on.

Fuck that is so good in this context

Oh lawd

>>81304399
There is a fell voice on the wind!

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>>81304553
lmao

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>hey frodo where's the ring?
>I flushed the ring
>what?!
>the ringwrathes were gonna find it!
>That was the only ring we had Frodo!

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>Wake up Gollum

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>>81303749
>the ring is mine

So he went all the way to Mordor with the wrong ring? That's pretty embarrassing.

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>During campaign, dinner was always a big thing. We had a maggoty bread and then we had a rotten meat or hobbit's legs. Grishnack did the prep work. He was in service for years, and he had this wonderful system for doing the hobbit sauce. He used an axe, and he used to slice it so thin that it used to liquefy in the pan with just a little oil. It was a very good system.

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>I think I want my ring back

>>81304688
>WHY DID YOU DO THAT FRODO?

>>81304159
holy fucking kek i am LAUGHING A HTE FUCK

>>81304868
kek

>>81304868
kek

>>81304688
kek

>>81304553
kek

>Can't even get decent food - right after I got here, I ordered some meats, and I got magotty bread.

>>81304933
>>81304965
>>81304976
>>81304992
wew

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>They even slashed Ugnak in the face so his Wizard couldn't give him an open coffin at the funeral

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>the walls separating memes buckle and crack

truly an amazing time

>>81303749
>THIS FUCKING THREAD!

>>81304159
lmao

>>81304159
it was nice, but the samefagging wasn't necessary

>>81304140
Underrated, best one yet

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>>81306056
>s-stop s-samefagging

just accept that others are much funnier than you'll ever be and move on

>>81304445
Underrated

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>My father always told me I never had the makings of a varsity swordsman, it was a huge blow on my self-esteem

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>WAY DOWN
>BELOW THE OCEAN
>IS WHEEEEERE I WANNA BEEEE

Did I ever tell you about the tale of Paul Cicero the wise?

>The Fellaship of the Ring

CARMELLA CAN YOU SHUT THE MORDOOOOOOOOOR

>>81304159

keked

>>81304868
How many onions did he use?

>>81306622
http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D3TkdR7oPe_k&start1=110&video2=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D9AUEjzVQwKo&start2=105&authorName=aphrocarlin

>>81304140
Kek

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> When they found Gandalf on the mountain he was frozen so stiff it took them three days to thaw him out to send him back to Middle Earth.

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>>81307198

this thread is dumb. fuck you assholes

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>>81303909

>>81307198
I was thinking how to use that quote and I just couldn't think of a scene. Bravo for finding one haha

>>81305425
THE MEMES ARE COLLAPSING

>>81304445
Get this through your head you dwarf money-lover, you

>>81307133
Fucking perfect

>>81304688
topkek

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> Sauron might've moved slow, but it was only because Sauron didn't have to move for anybody.

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> Elrond never asked me to whack a Maiar before. Now in the midst of all this he is asking me to go to Mordor and do a hit with Aragorn? That is when I knew I would never return from Mordor alive.

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>Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the Goodfellaship of the Ring.

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>>81304159

>>81306953
LOL

>>81308777
That is some outstanding photoshop work. It's like they're in the room

>>81309155
I-I t-tried

>>81304269
Kek