Futurama jokes you never understood

>Sweet zombie Jesus
How can he be a zombie if he died for our sins and was ascended to heaven on the third day?

>>81134621

Read your darn Bible, ya mook. Ascension happened later on.

hmmm problematic

>>81134731
no way, he's crucified, put into a sepulcure, then they look for him, and notice the sepulcure is open and Jesus isn't there, then Paul and the apostles see Jesus in the sky and he makes a speech then goes up to heaven

>>81134852

I'll say it again, but I'll help you out:

https://archive.org/stream/1462TheGutenbergBibleLatinVulgate/1462%20The%20Gutenberg%20Bible%20Latin%20Vulgate#page/n1/mode/2up

>>81134731
>Ascension happened later on.

Sometime around the Millennium

>>81134949
>I'll say it again
what did you say again?

You linked a Latin Bible, I can't read this. Besides, if you wanted the original text, wouldn't you use the Greek?

>>81135006

I can read the Greek, but I figured Latin would be more accessible for you.

Or would you prefer The Message?

>>81135006

But if you insist:

https://archive.org/details/novumtestamentu02abbogoog

>>81135141
Mark 16 seems to imply he goes up to heaven on the third day

>19 So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.

>>81135308

Mark's ending is a matter of some contention.

Here's both versions:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2016

>open a Futurama thread
>posters in it are debating the Bible
wew lad

>Futurama jokes thread turns into Bible discussion

Never change, /tv/.

>>81135417
Haha, no friend, it's YOUR sources that are wrong, the Bible is the ultimate word of God

>>81135506
HAHA le subject of le thread changed xP

i gotta post this on reddit!

>>81134314
Fry got sexual gratification from looking at his female neighbor through her windows.

>>81135506
These days the only threads that take off on /tv/ are the ones with politics/religion.

>>81135474
>>81135506
the OP is awful anyway. try something this stupid on reddit

Put me in the screencap lul

>>81135663
try something this stupid on reddit

>>81135603
all the babbies just got off for easte... i mean spring break.

>>81135577
How mad are you regularly