Movie Theaters

>>81020054

I went to see League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and halfway through the movie it started to play upside down and in reverse.

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lego batman
saturday
1pm

Saw Don't Breathe, had a nigger in front of me who would not stop narrating the movie and texting.


Fuck niggers in theaters and in general

>>81020054
When I got my falcon permit revoked after failing penis inspection

As a kid, me and my friend were throwing popcorn at the couple in front of us until the guy snapped and started screaming at us in the theatre.

>>81020738
kek

>arrive, pay for my ticket
>look for the gun dispenser
>line for the assault rifles is fucking massive
>settle for a handgun, still takes at least 10-15 minutes
>arrive late to the showers, only have time for a quick rinse and shampoo (no conditioner)
>about to enter the theatre
>realise I forgot the bullets
>mfw

>>81020054
Rogue One
>new gimmick recliner chair is unplugged, cant change position have to ask ushers to plug em back in
>Sit down
>Giant ass snack tables in the way and you can't fold em down and to the side like a College desk
>Shift it awkwardly to the side and it clashed with my friends snack table next to me
>All of us are like wtf is this shit
>Movie starts, trying to get immersed
>Nervous bitchboy wandering around asking who ordered sushi
>Thankful im not sitting next to the smelly sushi cunt.
>watch movie
>Never want to come back to a theater again

Whats the next gimmick? Toilet recliners so people will be flushing the whole movie?

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You guy's probably wouldn't believe this but I recently went to see the movie Logan, and sat in the middle of the theater and this pretty big guy who sat a couple rows behind me and literally would not shut his mouth for the whole movie.

I turned around and said, "If you stopped talking for 1 minute, would it fucking kill you bro?"
He looked at me like I did something wrong and said something like "yeah, it would actually be pretty unpleasant"
After that I just got pissed and went off on him (basically trying to insult him) and called him a really big fat prick. All he did was laugh and say "yeah but its all for you, you started this"

Holy shit I had never been so mad in my life.

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Just saw Kong a few hours ago
Two people behind us would not shut the fuck up. It was an older man and his son and they just kept commentating on every little thing that happened for the entire film

>>81020106
I watched the entire thing straight, and I'm sure that was better than the original.

I went to a drive in to watch the phantom menace and the opening scene on the donut ship didn't have audio, they had accidentally tuned into a radio station.

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>>81022193

just the usual idiot talking/using phone and once a problem with the subs. not really a problem, the theater offered refunds and I ended up watching it dubbed.

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>go to see Get Out
>two ultra-liberal flamboyantly gay people sit down next to me
>they get frightened easily by early jumpscares and laugh
>keep giggling and saying 'that guy's racist too'
>twist happens, nothing was racially motivated
>they quieten down, one starts looking round the theatre and ignoring the film
>film ends, they turn to each other and one says 'that was shit. so boring'
thread unrelated, has a great time desu

>went to see Amazing Spider-man
>some annoying little cunt kept kicking the back of my chair and talking
>at the end of the movie, get all of the ice from my drink and throw it at him

theaters just fucking suck dick.

honestly when will movies just be released as direct download for payment on a given specific date

i want to pause when I want, eat and drink good food and be around good people not a bunch of pre-teens and FAT LIPPED NIGGERS

>>81020054
Tbh I've never had an experience so bad it was memorable, except for the latest Ice Age movie I got tricked into watching with my little cousins. That was wholly the movie's fault though since the seats were extremely comfortable, and they even moved back.

>>81022950
this is why I liked Get Out

>>81023592
but then where will i buy prepopped popcorn

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>>81020054
When I went to see The Force Awakens on opening night.
Star Wars "fans" are the most obnoxious faggots on earth.

>>81021561
Kek, you got played by a fat guy in a theater

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>Go and watch a lot of mediocre movies with my uncle
>go see Jason Bourne
>nothing but old people and black families
>Old people commentate over film and Curse at me when I try to get up and use the restroom/refill
>Black Familes always have a fucking baby that cries no matter what fucking movie you go to
>guess my uncles local movie theater doesn't give a fuck about underage since it's in a mall
>babies cry for half the film and black mothers don't take them out of the theater to calm them down
>old fucks gripe about the crying and try and be cinemasins the entire time
>lost a steam card I got as a birthday present for my lil bro that same visit
>I will only see late night viewings now

>>81023592
OP here. Something tells me that that's going to happen soon enough.

> Pulp Fiction
> full theater (hey, long time ago)
> everybody talking during movie
> halfway through someone in the back yells "will you niggers shut the fuck up so we can enjoy the fucking movie"
> chimp out
> lights come on and police eventually arrive
> tried offering concession coupons instead of refunds

Only seen two movies since then; Deadpool and Logan and only because the theater served beer and offered large lazyboy seats.

A group of teenagers who were probably high sat right next to me and laughed the entire movie of Kong: Skull Island.
Even parts weren't funny, they all would crack up.
Fucking annoying kids, make me wanna shoot up the theater.

>go see Jurassic World opening weekend, sold out show
>guy next to me is on his phone playing games and texting the entire flick
>immediately looks at screen during action scenes
>the second the action ends he goes back to his phone

>>81020054
>Go to watch The Revenant or some shit
>Friend doesn't show up, texts me telling that he got kept in at work
>Whatever, should be fine. Buy my ticket and take my seat
>Everything's going fine till the scene where the indian's show up
>During the american's getting slaughtered, a pair of bare feet were placed on the back of my chair either side of my head
>Hear some giggles from the teenagers behind me, something like "Is he going to say something?", basically making fun of me
>Can't watch the fucking movie because I'm stealing glances at these fucking perfect feet the whole time. 10/10 arches, cute toes and sexy fucking soles
>Thank god for the popcorn bucket to hide my raging fucking erection
>No idea what happened during the rest of the movie, all my brain blood was in my cock and the rest of my consciousness was focused on inhaling those feet fumes.
>Before the end of the film I go to the bathroom, masturbate and go home

6/10 movie over all.

>>81021561
Subtle/10

>>81020054
saw rogue one. guy next to me was literally texting on his phone like 80 % of the movie, no exaggeration. Luckily it was a second viewing but it was still insanely annoying as fuck

Other somewhat bad experience but not really was the lights not turning off in the theatre, and i had to get out and tell one of the employees about it. luckily i was the only one there and they just reset the movie for me. Unfortunately it was sin city two and the movie sucked regardless

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>>81025447

I've never had a bad experience at a cinema. Is having rude fucks texting/talking/clapping throughout the entire movie an American thing?

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>>81023427
>at the end of the movie, get all of the ice from my drink and throw it at him

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>Tfw I used to hide at the back of the theatre and shout "Noodles" in a high pitched voice all throughout the film
One guy threw an entire happy meal once but he missed and hit someone else

>>81023592
Never because then free illegal high quality downloads of movies will be available the day a movie is released.

Do you fuckboys not go weeks after a movie releases in the middle of the week at the first showing before noon and catch it when you will literally be the only ones in there?

I caught R.I.P.D. and Amazing Spider-Man 2 in empty theaters.

>watching Star Trek Into Darkness
>find my seat
>order a shrimp scampi
>everyone gets their dishes before me
>finally get my order
>it's cold
>the movie sucked

Terrible

>>81025899
Kill yourself

>>81020054

>Went on date with girl to see Alpha Dog in theaters
>just arrive as previews start and begin to get seated
>date accidentally kicks seat in front of her while sitting down
>my date and the person who's chair was kicked begin having a VERY loud argument while the previews are still going on
>ends up turning into a literal brawl in the middle of the theater
>meanwhile I'm still sitting in my seat trying to process what the fuck just happened
>the movie has been stopped completely and the lights have been turned on now
>security comes in to break up the fight, finds out that I was with one of the girls that got in the fight and asked me to leave the theater
>had to do a walk of shame out of a packed theater because my stupid date decided to get into a fight


It doesn't even feel like it was real to me, because of how bizarre it was. I'm not even exaggerating the story. It's actually much worse in detail.

>>81025914
guess who else has the same idea
Hint: it rhymes with poor flack bamilies with babies and pold eople

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Went to see A Bug's Life or something when I was little and a flotilla of tards' were rolled down to the front row and screamed the whole time.

Also, when I went to see The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull these black kids behind us kept hollerin' about their doo daps and asking us if we wanted our popcorn.

>>81026132
But I literally caught movies by myself that no one else showed up to.

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>>81021561

>>81026164
all of those tards were me

>>81025596
All me

>go see a viewing of spirited away at a independant cinema near me
>really cosy cinema, small but it was really nicely decorated and furnished
>go to my seat after grabbing a bag of liquorice and a huge cup of ice water
>a group of loud as fuck nerds sit a couple rows in front of me
>would not shut the fuck up about flavour of the month anime
>literally talking throughout the entire movie without any self-awareness
>old couple at the back scolds them after a while
>nerds stop talking for like 5 minutes and then start again
>came to my wit's end
>threw my cup of water at the back of their heads
>they started freaking out, asking why i did it
>owners of the cinema come in and kick me out
>banned for life
Shit sucks. Despite the retards it was a really nice cinema and I would have loved to go back there again.

>friends plan to see Thor 2 together
>friend tells me it's in this pretty nice theater at the other end of town
>takes about an hour to get there by bus
>leave an hour before movie starts
>bus gets to part of town where the theater is
>bus is essentially driving in circles around the neighborhood, always taking different turns than what would get me to the theater
>whatever, that's just the bus plan
>after an hour or more of this shit the bus finally leaves for the theater
>movie's like halfway done at this point
>had to convince the girl at the reception to sell me a ticket to the ongoing screening
>only available seats are at the bottom to the side so my views all fucked up
>it's in the middle of a big action scene where I have no idea what anyone wants to do and I never saw Thor 1 so I have no idea who anybody is
>intermission (It's an Icelandic thing, don't ask) starts just after action scene
>wait in the lobby for my friends to show so I can get them to tell me what's going on
>none of them show up
>figure I just missed them in the crowd
>buy popcorn and a coke so that I might at least get something out of this
>have no idea what's going on the rest of the film
>movie ends, I leave before the post-credits shit because I don't care and that way I might see my friends, have a chat with them and could maybe get a ride home from one of them
>they don't show, again
>decide to call the guy who told me what theater they were going too
>he asks where the fuck I am
>I tell him what theater I'm at
>he asks why I'm there, everybody else went to this theater in the suburbs outside of town
>argue with him for a bit, he insists he told me that they were going to the theater they went too
>give up on arguing with him and go to catch the bus home
>I missed it by a minute and the next one didn't come until about an hour later or so
>come home to friend apologizing over skype for sending me to the wrong theater

And that's why I hate Thor: The Dark World

>>81021561
Subtle kek

>>81026169
Yeah but for those who have the same idea may not have as much as a peaceful time as you

>seeing Rogue One
>get in the theater
>go to concessions stand
>order some popcorn and a bag of m&m's
>go sit in my seat
>dig in to my popcorn
>previews start, time to crack open the candy
>can't find it
>see little footprints on the seat next to me
>a leprecaun stole my bag of m&m's
>leave the theater

seriously when are they going to get those little fuckers under control

>>81023427
>went to see Elysium with friends
>fat Mexican brood mother comes in with at least 7 kids all varying ages
>sits two rows in front of us
>says nothing as her kids run all around the theatre screaming and being stupid
>this 10yr old girl starts running back and forth in my row
>she just bangs against our knees as hard as she can implying we should move
>the third time she comes running full speed at my knees I stick my foot out and she smashes her face against the chair
>starts screaming and crying and has blood coming out of her mouth
>she returns to the brood mother who then collects all her spawn and they leave

Good movie I liked it a lot.

>>81020121
Say no more

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Speed racer, my eyes still hurt.

>>81020121
Why the fuck would you do this to your self?

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How about best theatre experience?
>go to see drive a few days after release at midnight by myself
>literally no-one in the theatre but me
>watch the movie
>honestly one of the most surreal but amazing experiences of my life
>sat in chair stunned for a good few minutes
>just as i'm about to leave the cleaner comes in
>we end up having a 30 minute discussion about the movie
>couldn't get to sleep that night, stayed up posting about on /tv/ for hours

I'm kind of sad, because nothing has or probably will surpass that.

>go to The Revenant
>packed theater, have to sit in the first few rows
>two ladies older than the crypt keeper next to me
>previews start, they're talking
>whatever, I can suffer through the previews with this
>movie starts
>they read all the subtitles out loud
>discuss how violent the movie was as if they picked the movie based on the words in the title
>don't shut the fuck up for the whole movie

Oh boy

>Be 12
>Go with friend to see a movie (I honestly cant remember which one)
>There is this 14 year old emo boy that has a creepy gay crush on me
>Sit down in the theater
>Doors open and the emo-league comes in, creep in the front
>Please dont let him see me
>He has the seat next to me
>He sits down and starts talking about how nice it is to see me here
>All throughout the movie, he keeps hitting on me and talking
>Tell him that we can talk after the movie
>No.rawrxd
>Starts saying things like "You can really hide a boner with these popcorns and since its so dark, no one can see what you're doing"
>After about 30 minutes my friend has had enough
>"If you black haired fucks wont shut the fuck up, I'll rip open your wrist scars and pour the salt from my popcorn in them!"
>Employee tells us to knock it off or he will kick us out
>"Yes, please"
>We get up and leave
>Get text later that night
>"There was this really romantic scene, you should've been here with me."

Fucking hell that period of my life was scary as shit.
The worst was when we were in the swimming pool but thinking about that shit actually still scares me today.

>>81020121
>first lego movie
>visitng friend said fuck it let's go to a movie
>lego movie
>mid afternoon
I felt like a real pedophile.

>>81020154
>Le niggers xD
I can't believe you people are walking around with us thinking and saying these things./pol/ is truly a cancer

>>81021561
I died holy fuck

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>>81027317
Spend 10 minutes on live leak, darkie. you smell btw

Saw Fun with dick and Jane in like the 8th grade with a friend of mine. We were bored as fuck, and halfway through the movie I saw him flip a Mike and ike with his thumb up in the air, catch it, and slap it on the back of his hand like a coin. I had to stifle the most extreme and painful laughter for about 40 minutes or so.

>>81027161
>Watch avengers age of ultron
>There's this kid who keeps asking his dad questions throughout the movie
>Calls his dad "PopPop"
>too cute/funny to be annoyed by it

>>81020054
>Watching Kong: Skull Island at 1pm on a weekday
>Woman next to me brought in some Panera thing in a crinkle as fuck plastic wrapper. Every time she takes a bite, she puts it back in the wrapper, causing a good 10 seconds of noise. This goes on for the first 15 minutes of the movie.
>Same women has a friend with her. Friend makes a bizarre sucking/clicking noise any time a character in the movie says anything witty.
>Crying baby in the corner
>Toddler halfway through the film starts giving commentary on the movie in toddler babble

I'm going to have to rewatch this goddamn movie.

>>81027363
>Look at this video of a black person doing something bad
>I am a radical centrist, rational, freethinking, race realist, identitarian, anarcho-capitalist, pro-white, anti-SJW proud white man
You ever wonder why you're so alone and nobody likes you?

>>81027475
Dude, people are different, get over it. You can't believe people would actually think the word "nigger" because you're a small minded liberal who believes in everything the mainstream media tells you to. You probably don't even live near any black people.

>>81025899
Fucking kek. Please elaborate, greentext?

>on a double date with a friend and his girlfriend
>sit next to friend
>we had been drinking a lot beforehand so we were all pretty drunk
>all of a sudden his hand is on my pants
>starts rubbing
>keeps rubbing until I pop a boner and he yanks his hand off
>we share an incredibly awkward look in the darkness
>he turns away to make out with his girl
I still masturbate to the memory

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>>81024005
>>81022950

Based Peele

Just this weekend when I went to go see MMPR.
>kids running around, and wouldn't sit down
>People talking photos

>Guy a few seats over kept using flash
>Ask him to stop
>He does, but really smug about it
>He's not even watching the movie
Why do people do this? He literally spent $10 to sit there! Does he even consider that watching a movie? What's he gonna say when people ask him how it was?
>idk man I was on Snapchat the whole time til some neck beard yelled at me.

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>>81027161
I went to see a midnight showing of "Freddy vs. Jason" in Las Vegas. There were like ten people in the theater. Giant black dude right in the middle of the theater loudly mocking the movie and cracking jokes. He was actually funny though, and the movie was trash so it was a 10/10 experience.

>>81020154
Let me guess, at his right side was a jew and at his left side was a SJW?

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>Beauty and the Beast release 2 weeks ago.
>playing in 1/3 of the theaters in the building.
>Work a double.
>From 9am to 9pm
>Do not move from the register for 9 straight hours.
>No lunch, no bathroom.
>Constantly get bitchy middle aged women complaining about how long the lines are.

Fuck this job.

>>81027787
Jesus dude, I worked Star Wars Ep3 opening in high school, but at least the crowds of nerds are never super demanding the way mommies are for their kids.

>>81027787

What kind of hell doesn't give people lunch breaks?

>>81027786
Have you ever been to a screening of a horror movie with black people in the audience? Try it once and you'll understand

>transformers 3
>part where optimus one shots megatron
>some guy behind me screams "FUCK YOU MOVIE"
>get hit with his soda

>>81027936
He was right tho

>>81027936
Kek sorry anon

>go to the cineplex
>order my prime rib and Pinot noir
>my wine isn't aerated by the cinema butler because they're busy
>complain, manage to get a free bottle of cab off them but it's terribly low quality

I haven't gone back since

>>81025618
Feet fetishes are gross, but I had a good kek.

>>81027787

>wageslave

>>81025618
More like best movie experience

Was watching inception when the guy in front of mes phone starts vibrating, he pick it up and proceeds to have a 10 minute conversation about why it's rude to talk on the phone in the movie theater.

>>81027532
don't waste your time on him, the people who claim to be the "least" racist are ALWAYS fucking those that live in isolated enclaves away from any other race but their own.

>watch 10 cloverfield lane on a weekday matinee hoping to be alone

>a young couple (high school age at most) sit a few rows ahead of me and start making out

>she sits on his lap, facing backwards towards me and they start fucking

>she makes direct eye contact with me through the whole thing

So not only did I have to fight the urge to fap the whole time, but the movie's ending sucked ass. Overally a really shitty day for me.

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>see Selma
>group of 50 something blacks sit near me
>talk entire fucking movie about muh oppression
>make loud comments that other niggers laugh at

>>81022950
>>81024005
okay what is this movie and why should I see it

>>81028192
she wanted you to pull your dick out and touch yourself
and you blew it

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Tomorrow I'm going to see a 3h47m recording of a Love Live concert with no subtitles and I've never ever seen Love Live

>>81026065
That sounds incredible it baffles me how easily something like this would normally be resolved yet people are so easily agitated they fight strangers for over such a small thing. Did you fuck your date that night?

>>81025899

>go to see the notebook on a first date
>title card
>someone in the back in a high pitched voice yells
>"FIIIINNNNEEEEEDING NEEEEEEEEEMO"
>everyone yells at them

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>girlfriend works in a cinema
>free tickets fuck yeah
>they do anime movie screenings every so often
>she asks if I want to go, for free, to watch the new Yu-Gi-Oh movie
>haven't seen Yu-Gi-Oh in like fucking ten years or something
>think "what the fuck it's free"
>oh shit
>entirety of tumblr and/or /a/ are here
>stench is unbearable
>some guy in a red woollen trenchcoat with a cane
>some middle-aged looking balding dude with an anime girl shirt on that doesn't cover his gut
>wide range of people, all of them awful
>see why it's called an autism 'spectrum'
>because we were first in line (because gf works there), got these limited edition bags or something
>postcard, some kind of folder, a card I sold on ebay
>after the movie, some blue-haired hambeast and her orbiting betamoon approach us
>ask where we got them
>tell them they're limited edition or something
>asks if she can touch it
>uhhhh yeah sure whatever what the fuck
>she strokes a plastic bag
>run the fuck out

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>>81020054
I saw Lincoln with a few friends a couple of years back, we were all making obnoxious noises and shit until an old man that we sat next to got mad so we all had to settle down.

I went and saw life last night and there was 8 of us there and we were all bros and shared similar reactions especially at the end

was pretty comfy desu

>Work at theater.
>Every day is terrible.

Between the kids leaving their shit all over the theater, the black people complaining about fucking everything, old people asking what everything is and why it costs so much, and the fatasses ordering all the food and demanding more butter, not a day goes by that I don't want to off myself.

>>81023427
You acted like a pussy waiting to do something until the movie ended

>>81024438
You and your uncle sound like pussies for not saying something to the black families or old people that called you out

>>81025618
You're a huge pussy on top of being a fucking fag with a shit fetish

>>81025899
I sincerely hope someone annoys you during your next movie viewing and when you say something you get the shit beaten out of you

>>81026065
So you didn't man up and defend your date you just slumped down in your chair like a little bitch? I hope some real alpha fucked your gf in front of you before making you suck him off.

>>81026419
>not telling them to be quiet or getting management
>resorting to throwing your cup of water at them

You deserve that ban

>>81026431
You should have called your friend before leaving to verify everything you have nobody to blame but yourself

>>81026615
>too much of a pussy to say anything to the mother so attack the kid instead

You deserve to get jumped by a group of mexicans after the next movie you see

>>81027420
>>81027243
If you're too much of a pussy to say anything you have no right to complain

>>81027252
This is the only valid bad movie experience

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>>81028439
Imagine the people who will go to this

>>81027420
>Toddler halfway through the film starts giving commentary on the movie in toddler babble

That sounds adorable as fuck

>>81020054
>What was your worst theater experience?
Having to sit through 3 hours of "Titanic". But I did get a handjob out of it.

Have a couple

>seeing some movie back in 2002 with my dad
>enjoying it so far, tard with wrangler comes in
>mumbling and shit but tolerable
>halfway through the tard starts blurting out
>I GOTTA POOOOOOO I GOTTA POOOP
>half the theater looking over, bunch of people snickering
>they end up leaving before it ends with the tard still yelling

>go see the hurt locker
>couple teenagers in front
>one of them has a laser pointer and keeps pointing it at people's nipples
>they stop after a few people tell them to cut it out but do it again annoyingly
>old guy gets up from his seat and walks across the aisle and whispers something to the kids
>they stop and hightail it out

>see winter soldier
>spic family with a bunch of little kids next to us
>one kid keeps talking nonstop
>another keeps rocking his seat back and forth hard and kicking the seat in front
>other kid who's like 4 just wedged between seats on the ground
>parents ignoring the shit behavior
>dad leans over and tells them to keep their kids in control
>they ignore him and their kids
>kid starts crying, turns out he shit himself as we could smell it
>they finally fuck off

>>81027161
>go to see The Peanuts Movie with some friends because sons birthday
>we get there late and sit in the front row
>movie starts and I hear a familiar sound of a can opening up
>few seconds later another friend handed me the can
>taste it
>fucker brought beer
>best part he was hiding it in his sisters babybag

>>81028899
Yeah, loud, incomprehensible non-words with random screaming and no volume control is awesome.

>>81028860
Probably cute girls who like Anime, right?

bamp

Bumpety bump

>>81028488
Holy kek