>We want "The Thing" audience

>yfw this turns out to be a better Alien sequel than Covenant

I literally turned off the TRAILER this looked so fucking bad.

Basically a last days on Mars or Europa report ripoff.

>That was only three years ago

>>80861591
What is the consensus on Europa report? I actually really liked it until the autistic ending.

>>80861517
NO IT WAS NOT. The movie's plot is moved forward by nothing by deus ex machinas and the writer was obviously trying to copy several alien/space horror movies and failed miserably at it. The alien was slasher movie-tier bad too, it didn't act logically and overall just came off as a boring deathmachine rather than a terrifying otherworldly creature like the Xenomorph for example. Surprisingly the acting was the only good thing is this movie, Jake Gyllenhaal and the rest of the cast gave an amazing performance with a mediocre script.

>>80861891
Ending was weak as fuck but otherwise was literally the best original sci Fi probably since primer.

>>80861457
Is that Aaron Rodgers?

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>>80861457
>monster is called Calvin
>doesn't get a job at Mcdonalds by the end of the movie

Is anyone else autistically pissed off that this movie even exists? Why are Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds even in it? Why was this made?

>>80862036
This. How did this even happen?

I went to see this earlier today.

Is it bad that the alien got less scary the more it grew? It was creepy af when it was capeable of going inside of people. Then it just turned into your typical tentacle rape monster from a hentai episode.

I liked the film though apart from the predictable ending.

>>80862036
The same reason every movie is, nepotism.

>>80862139
>Is it bad that the alien got less scary the more it grew?

I thought this too. It was fucking terrifying when it ate the rat, broke the guys hand and blew up Ryan Reynold's guts. After that it didn't do anything that scary.

any good stream?

>>80862139
Yeah, it was scary as fuck to me when it was tiny because it could be fucking anywhere and you'd never be able to spot something so small and flexible.

The creature was kinda annoying durable to me, no sense of catharsis when attacking it since nothing hurt it.

>>80862139
>It was creepy af when it was capeable of going inside of people.
Holy shit does this actually happen? That would be a really brutal death

Movie was shit.

Among other things, why did they even put Ryan Reynolds on the poster and credited him as main actor?

Why did the alien need to have a face? Does anything need to have a head/face?

Also funny that the whole damage was caused by the nigger and the woman. Good job "diversities".

Wasted cast btw.

>>80863563
Yeah when Ryans character is turned around it jumps onto his face, crawls into his mouth and just eats his insides, you see Reynolds just spewing up torrents of blood but no gory bits. Brutal death but not as brutal as it could've been.

Tense movie, decent moments, pretty entertaining but unimaginative, lots of stupid shit done throughout the movie, written by someone who doesn't give a single solitary fuck about accuracy or realism though.

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>mfw the alien goes to earth and can barely move with earths gravity

>>80861457
then why is there a woman in your picture?

>>80863583
>Why did the alien need to have a face? Does anything need to have a head/face?
this! i lliked it more when it was plant like, without the "im angry" face and the fangs lol

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>>80863689
>it jumps onto his face, crawls into his mouth and just eats his insides
Dying from something crawling inside you has always been a weird fear of mine, so this sounds fucking amazing. Thanks for the info friend

In all honestly though, humans on earth could fuck this alien thing up, providing it doesn't multiply or breed.

Good luck being sprayed with every imaginable acid and chemical in existence you little squid fucker, and good luck surviving a nuke that can atomize your ass into burnt molecules

>>80863364

It was probably immune to fire/oxygen-based attacks, which were the only weapons onboard.

>>80863791
Did you see how fucking strong it was? It'll have no problem moving.

>>80863820
Because MEW was in The Thing you retard

why did the nigger let himself get MARTIANED

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>>80863940
That and the ending are the only good parts though. Overall, the movie is pretty bland and uninspiring.

>>80861891
>literally the B-plot of 2010 as a Spinoff bullshit fucking bullshit

>>80861891
It's a movie about the Europeans killing alliens.
I like it.

Is there any reason to see this, even though I've already seen the trailer so I know everything that happens?

>>80861931
>literally the best original sci Fi probably since primer.

And yet you're probably one of those people who shit on Prometheus because some of the characters make dumb decisions in order to move the plot forward.

>>80861457
Cool comic film, bruh

>>80861457
Did budget ran out or why did they choose a literal who as the woman

>>80865031
Prometheus was fucking pants on head retarded

This movie was WAY more realtistic for character decisions. If you were in this movie, what would have you done differently?

>>80865744
Not him, if you were in Prometheus what would you have done differently? I think people are too eager to jump on that movie.

>>80865744
Not that guy, but while this movie may not have the dumbest character decisions, everything else was dumb as shit.

Was the soyuz piloted by humans? Were they on a suicide mission to push the space station into space or were they supposed to escape with the pods? Why didnt murica just nuke the whole space station

Are you niggers talking about Europa report or life? I cannot fucking tell

>jake gyllenhall going on about his tour in Syria
>girl astronaut asking about why borders existed when she first saw a picture of earth

Also what happened to the other doctor girl? I don't remember her dying off at any point?

>>80866200
At last you truly see, they're almost the same.

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>>80863791
>Alien with a similar biology to Earth creatures goes to Earth
>Doesn't immediately get Poor Little White Boy reenacted on it by hundreds of millions of microbes
?!?

When you nane your movie 'life' you just know it's gonna be shit.

>>80865933

Not stayed on the alien planet during a storm getting high in my space suit.

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>>80866519

>>80866519
They were lost and couldn't get back to the spaceship in time so they got cut off. The guy was nervous as hell so getting high seems understandable.

>>80866234

What other girl? The commander got killed in space while trying to fix the communication system, and the doctor got shot off into deep space at the end.

>>80865744
If I was the one outside with calvin on my leg I would have cut my tether and used my jetpack to blast into outer space. There, threat removed from earths orbit and they will make a statue of me on earth

>>80866128
The only dumb thing was the black guy zapping it with the prod (to be fair he was impatient and embarrassed after he thought he killed it) Every other action the other characters took throughout the movie were within reason.

In Prometheus, a top biologist tried petting a killer dick snake and a """mapping expert""" got lost just for the sake of the plot. Also other minor shit like the whole no helmets thing but Life is far better written

>>80866585

You are forgetting that the fucking octopus/stingray thing can move in space. It will just fly back.

>>80865933
Not take off my fucking helmet on an alien planet

>>80866585
If Calvin was on my leg I'd get on his leg, see how that fucker likes that.

>>80866748
That wasn't presented as a sensible thing to do, if you watch it again you'll see everyone else trying to convince him that that's a horrible idea and he could potentially kill himself doing it. The point was that Holloway wasn't a reasonable person, he was motivated by his faith. He was surer than he had any logical reason to be that the planet would be a welcoming environment for humanity.

>>80865933
Not reach my hand out to pet a fucking hideous looking dick snake

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>>80866834

>>80866650
It didnt fly around, it climbed around the station and pushed itself off the commanders body when she was slowly drifting away a couple meters. I think if you did it fast enough you could get it away from the station

>>80866834
Again, this is a character making an illogical decision, but it can still be explained without any egregious leaps in thinking if you ask me. From the start we see he thinks that geology-dude is cool and wants to be friends with him. Only geology dude is too hardcore. Now though geology dude is scared and the biologist is in his element. They're wearing space-suits which can withstand being hurled around like a rag-doll while being pelted with shards of jagged rocks, it seems perfectly reasonable to assume that a snake thing of that size, even a relatively strong one, couldn't do them any real harm. The smart option would have been to steer clear just in case but he wanted to look cool and smart and the snake just happened to have unprecedented strength and biological defence mechanisms (acid blood).

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>>80866953
>Mission commander is a human female

>>80866818
Oh hey look, someone else who actually understands Prometheus and doesn't just parrot what they read on Reddit

>>80867147
>Prometheus apologists still exist.

Kill yourself.

>>80867167
After you

This movie was almost Kino, except that fukken ending, senpai.

>>80865933
1. Not gone in to save the black dude
2. Vent all the oxygen in the lab after Ryan Reynolds died and let that thing die in there with his body
3. Had protocols in place for venting the lab in case of a breach.
4. If I was Ryan Reynolds, stop using the flamethrower after the first 4 fucking times you realized it didn't work and just leave the lab and vent it. Boom no casualties
5. Do the research on an easily detachable ship (like the one that brought the samples)
6. If I was the drowning chick and the ayy lmao was on me and I knew I was dying, cut the tether and jump AWAY from the space station and float into deep space along with that thing
7. Vented all the oxygen in the ship EARLIER not after 3 people have died
8. Trap that shit in a life boat and let it starve
9. Let the ayy lmao keep eating the black dudes leg and throw him into deep space
10. Cut off your fucking hand when the ayy lmao is strangling it and breaking it

>>80861457
Implying the ISS only has one (1) communications system, which can easily be damaged and shut off

>>80867483
I was confused for a moment until I realized what was going on here. We're talking about Prometheus. I haven't seen Life.

>>80866590
Like I said, the rest of the movie was dumbshit, not the choices.

>Have to individually shut off fire suppression nozzles
>5 Seconds of burn can deorbit the ISS
>A fucking flamethrower on a space station
>The liquid cooling garments don't carry anywhere near that water
>Airlocks that require BOTH internal and external operation at the same time to open?
>Communication is cut off after one system fails

The writer clearly didn't concern himself with realistic details, he just wanted to write a horror movie and that was all he was concerned with. It's honestly not that bad because most regular people don't pay attention to these details but it made me groan every time dumb shit happened.

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>>80867483
He meant Europa Report

>Don't get sprayed with hydrazine reaction fuel and die in deep space

>>80867091
Not that guy, but isn't that dude meant to be a biologist or something? The snake thing is CLEARLY making a hostile gesture that isn't alien since its similar to earth snake aggression signs and he tries to fucking pet it? That's inexcusably retarded for a scientist.

And how the FUCK did geology did get lost when his machines were mapping the place and he had a computer on his wrist seeing it all?

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>watch trailer
>hey look I have a copy of "Good Night Moon" to celebrate your child being born
>GOOD NIGHT MOON GOOD NIGHT MOON
>GOOD NIGHT COW JUMPING OVER THE MOON
That's enough of that

>>80867643
The suit I think excuses this. Nothing short of a superhuman pounding seems to be able to crack those things. When the geologist goes ayy his suit seems to protect him fairly well against the guns the crew try to use to fight him off.

And did the geologist actually have the map with him? I remember them getting it on the ship immediately but when do we see the map on his wrist? And even if so we can just call it overconfidence and a wrong turn. To be cut off by the storm they only had to be delayed by a few minutes.

>>80864570
>brother, give me some oats

>>80867483
OK, the movie is stupid sometimes but some of these are bad complaints.

>2
It's the ISS, not some fictional Battlestar Galactica, they don't actually have a way to vent atmosphere from individual modules.

>3
There'd never be protocols like that because realisticly cellular samples from soil would never represent a physical threat. In the real world, what they had was more than enough.

>5
This is a retardedly genre savvy response, it's a fucking soil sample, its not a threat. You only think it is because you're thinking in terms of a horror movie.

>10
Really? How is cutting off your hand a better result than having the ayy break it? And cut it off with what?

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>we're still having Prometheus arguments to this day
Every movie has "I would have done ____" moments but Prometheus has so many, it becomes unwatchable

Its just one stupid or pointless decision after another. That and how it lazily tries to be a "prequel" to alien within the last 5 minutes really boils my grapes

>>80867483
You're forgetting
11. Throw the Jap off the station when the hentai monster form evolves and it will naturally chase him

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>>80867875
This wouldn't be a problem if some fucking edgy kids didn't literally insist on sucking Kurtzman and Lindelof dick constantly.

The thought that that are real human beings who think Prometheus was anything but complete trash drives me crazy

>>80867875
Promethus is the only movie that still has defenders I can think of where people white knight it this hard.

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>>80861457

haven't seen this shit because my theater didn't get it but

>CGI alien

way to miss the fucking point. bravo sony!

>>80861969

NIGGA YOU SMELL LIKE FRENCH FRIES

>>80866436
Would microorganisms even do anything to it? From the way they talked about its cellular structure are the beginning it seems like any of its individual cells would just fuck up any foreign microbes.

>>80864565
I'd like to think that he's not retarded enough to do it deliberately and it crawled up his leg without him knowing. And since he was paralyzed he was unaware it was gnawing on him the whole time.

>>80861457
i want to dp right grill. jake can be my co partner i guess

>>80868841

Nah. He was spewing apologies for it the whole time. Literally a cuck.

>>80864977
it loooks the other way around no? give me a spoiler to ending

>>80871827
It's literally about the Europeans(the indigenous species of Europa) killing one by one a group of recently arrived aliens (humans).

>>80869003
>i guess

Pfffft, you should be so lucky