>"Sorry to have kept you waiting, Sir!"

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I SAID CRAB LEGS!

I don't take corn from niggers.

My man Tyrone, how you been nigga?

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"Sorry, this is a couples only theater."

>>80802260
Thank you Robert! Peace and love to you and your family!

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"By yourself again?"

>>80802452

No I'm clearly with my mother, are you blind woman?

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"Here's your popcorn, sir! Don't forget the tip!"

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>here's your order anon
>i put in some extra popcorn since you're so nice and come here to often

>>80802609

Jessica, I like you now, get out of here.

>>80802609
Oh great now it's going to fucking spill everywhere. Can you do anything, ANYTHING, right? You stupid obnoxious cunt. I'm tired of being the nice guy I've been coming to this theater for 4 years and not ONCE have you asked me out on a date, whats the fucking point? You know what? I'm done. Take the popcorn and shove it up your gaping cunt Stacy. I'm never coming back again

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"Here for another matinee? Don't you have a job?"

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>>80802680
>>80802716

>>80802609
I never fucking ordered popcorn from here and where the fuck is my hotdog and sweet tea

>>80802528
No godzilla, they're going to kill you. The popcorn was a trick!

>>80802609
You're looking good after the operation Robert.

>>80802528
T H I C C

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>Park falcon in aviary.
>Go buy a ticket from a scalper.
>Collect some crab-o pops and a medium lobster tail.
>"Can I see your ticket sir?", comes the growl as a muscular ape grabs me by the neck.
>I produce the ticket and she snickers, "Welcome to the singles Wednesday matinee."
>Grab my complementary shotgun and shells but as I'm about to enter the theater I am selected at random for a shower and hair inspection.
>Afterwards I get my complementary shampoo and tote and I finally head into the theater.
>This usher is not rude as usual. I bend down for the prostrate exam. Nothing to be alarmed about just a bit of swelling.
>Get strapped into a launch chair as the movie is about to begin.
I walked into the wrong theater... its a Michael Bay film...

>>80802740
I work from home

>>80802285
>>80802287
You. apologize. to. robert. now.

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>>80802740
No, bitch. Here, let me rip my own ticket, I can do that on my own because I'm not a retard. Is that your entire job?

>>80802740
Haha! Of course I have a job. I'm an online janitor.Gotta keep the internet clean!Haha...

>>80802740
Hairlets are generally pathetic, but being a female hairlet must be a nightmare.

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"Sorry this seat isn't actually empty, my husband is getting popcorn"

>>80802946
Do you mind if I just sit at your feet?

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>>80802740
Well m'""""""""lady""""""""" I am an Atheist onlne movie reviewer with dozens of fans waiting with bated breath for my critique of new releases so this actually IS my job. I especially pick out and critique Fundie elements in films and look for Christscum propaganda in children's cartoon movies. You might have heard of me on YouTube... The Atheist Film Buff

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>go to theatre
>apparently we have to reserve seats as we buy tickets
>pick some good seats
>go into theatre room
>our seats are fucking taken
>seats are open right behind them
>oh, that's alright, I guess.
>take the open seats
>few minutes later
>a few people walk up to us, they look confused
>me and friend know we took their seats but we continue looking at the screen and not them
>they walk away
I'm sorry but I guess that's how it works around here.

>>80802908
>>80802740
what's going on with that head?

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>>80802260

>>80803593
Just a classic example of female pattern baldness.

Really feel bad for her.

>>80803226

>we continue looking at the screen and not them

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4

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>>80803593
>>80803628

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>>80802260
me on the right

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>>80803682
Daisy isn't quite balding like that girl, she just has a huge forehead.

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>>80802609
>go to burger king for my daily lunch
>every day I get a students discount meal, chocolate milkshake and an extra cheeseburger
>today the cute cashier remembered my order exactly
>she smiled at me when she asked if that's what I wanted
>the milkshake was also filled to the brim, instead of like two centimeters underneath

What does this mean?

>>80803832
"have it your way"

>>80803832
are you cute?

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Sorry to have kept you waiting, Sir

>>80803893
I'm your typical run of the mill socially awkward virgin, but I wouldn't describe myself as exactly ugly, nor am I overweight.

So I wouldn't know if I was cute or not.

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Does anyone else have a Jack Russell at their theatre? He cleans up all the popcorn scraps and licks the women's feet if they're wearing open-topped shoes. It's adorable.

His name Is Einstein. He tends to avoid loud movies though. He was surprised by some loud explosions and did a little poo before darting under the back seats. It was so cute!

>>80803832
>>80803970

It don't mean nothin, don't sperg out about it. She doesn't want your d, she's just being nice.

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>>80804088
y-yeah that's what I figured

she probably spat in the milkshake too, and laughed about it behind my back with her alpha male fuckbuddies

>>80804159
>It don't mean nothin, don't sperg out ab

No, she didn't do that, as that would indicate that you can conjure at least some kind of response out of women

You are simply so boring and transparent that they wouldn't even acknowledge you, I bet she forgot you existed 30 seconds after you left

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>>80804297
b-but she remembered my order, that's got to count for something, r-right?

i guess she just wanted me to go away quickly, so she could continue the conversation about hating having to deal with autistic spergs every day

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>>80803832
she wants to see your nuts

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>snack bar
>not heading straight for the frito chili buffet

>>80802260
It's popcorn time!

>>80804388
Ask her out
What do you have to lose?
If the date goes south, rape that bitch

>>80802260
>sir, weve got another single, strip search and body cavity search him as usual?

>>80804388
lmao once some chick from the college cafeteria remembered my order from a previous time too and I spent a while thinking if she liked me or not. I decided to analize her from afar a bit since I'm a huge autist and I noticed that she's super nice to every single guy and laughs at the dumb shit every other guy says while ordering food. So I assume it never means anything when the cashier remembers your order.

>>80803832
>every day I get a students discount meal, chocolate milkshake and an extra cheeseburge

>What does this mean?

Means u gonna die soon

>>80805305
Stop being such a beta and ask her out.

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>>80802680
Underrated

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>>80802680

>>80805333
But a lot of people say it's rude to ask out someone who works at a cafeteria.

>>80802260
*takes photo*

>>80805408
it's true. people are paid to be nice to customers, better just to not consider them an option.

>>80804388
Stop browsing /r9k/ and grow a pair. The majority of people don't think twice about the random others who cross their path during the day. That said, if you're not a complete uggo she'll probably say yes if you ask her on a date.

>>80805513
>girl at the shop goes out with guy that buys there simply because he asked her to
That only happens in movies like Whiplash where it's required to advance the plot, not in real life.

>>80804388
She likes you you sperg. Ask her out. Just do it, I garuntee she will say yes.

>>80805305
You are an autist.

>>80805606
Oh sorry, I didn't know everyone else was just born knowing absolutely everything about how people work and interact with each other.
(sarcasm)

>>80805305
>analize
ANON YOU CAN'T INSPECT HER ASSHOLE IN PUBLIC LIKE THAT!

>>80805513
But I've ordered there almost every day for the last six months, I think she's just figured out that I'm the usual kind of autist from "that nerd school over the road".

>>80805321
My metabolism is ridiculous, haven't gained weight since I was 15

>>80805213
How do you go from ordering daily cheeseburgers from someone to asking them out?

>>80805606

Nah, 99% chance of her laughing in my face, and I don't think I could take that harsh of a rejection.

I should just resign myself to a sad, but ultimately safe life as a virgin

>>80805641
>(sarcasm)

sup reddit

>>80805839
Just writing it in case a sperg like you didn't notice it was sarcasm.

>>80803832
Similar shit happened to me, but it was at Subway because I like to eat slightly less shit food.

Where's your manager? I have a huge complaint to file. How dare they let a nigger touch my popcorn.