am i literally the only one who finds her comedy act unironically

Are you trying to brainwash me into wanting to fuck Amy Schumer?

Are you Amy Schumer?

That 12 Angry Men bit is one of the best things ive ever seen in comedy

Watch it if you havent

>>80800739
>be woman
>have 0 lips
What is the point? bet she thinks her blown out roastie makes up for it

>>80800828
Let's be honest here, Amy.
After the latest backlash it is perfectly understandable to come here for a quick and dirty confidence boost.

>>80800739
>Amy "Apocalypse Cow" Schumer
>Amy "The Guns Of Provolone" Schumer
>Amy "Sandwiches Of Iwo Jima" Schumer
>Amy "The Fat Patrol" Schumer
>Amy "A-Pack-Of-Chips Now!" Schumer
>Amy "McHale's Gravy" Schumer
>Amy "U-571lbs" Schumer
>Amy "Zero Talks Dirty" Schumer
>Amy "Arby's Macht Fries" Schumer
>Amy "They Were Expandable" Schumer
>Amy "The Dirty Dozen Doughnuts" Schumer
>Amy "The Battle of the Bulge" Schumer
>Amy "G*A*S*H" Schumer
>Amy "The Big Fed One" Schumer
>Amy "Hack Saw A Fridge" Schumer
>Amy "Waddlecanal" Schumer
>Amy "Hamburger Shill" Schumer
>Amy "M*A*S*H*E*D" Schumer
>Amy "All Quiet On the Weightloss Front" Schumer
>Amy "Sergeant Pork" Schumer
>Amy "A Few Good Menus " Schumer
>Amy "The Dessert Fox" Schumer
>Amy "Cookie Jarhead" Schumer
>Amy "Band Of Blubbers" Schumer
>Amy "Schindler's Grocery List" Schumer
>Amy "Dumbkike" Schumer
>Amy "Ham Hock Down" Schumer
>Amy "Pearl Heartburn" Schumer
>Amy "Flags Of Our Fatties" Schumer
>Amy "Behind Enemy Swines" Schumer
>Amy "G.I. Hoe" Schumer
>Amy "Three Burger Kings" Schumer
>Amy "Tora Tora Tora my pants" Schumer
>Amy "General Fatton" Schumer

>>80800739
Hope she gets fatter I have a weight gain fetish

>>80800892
Ok you got me.

>>80800739
yasssss girrrrllll slaaayyyyyyy

>>80800926
I loved you in Golden Eye

>>80801024
Sir, Hugh Jackman wasn't in Goldeneye.

>>80800739
t. Amy

>>80800739
As someone who has seen her live (against my own will) I can assure you she is not funny. Maybe 2 or 3 lines that are chuckle worthy the whole show. The rest is her talking about how smelly and disgusting her pussy is.

The best part about the show was two milfs stitting behind me who kept offering to buy me beer.

I can also confirm her Netflix special is the exact same show that I saw. Same jokes. Same punch lines. She changed literally nothing

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>>80800828
Amys thought process:
>"Wow 12 angry men is a great film how can i parody this into a sketch"
>"think Amy , think god damn it , you're a comedy icon and a talented writer"
>"eureka!"
>"what if the parody was about men wanting to having sex with me!"
Shes done it again

>>80800739
yes, literally the only one
even normies don't find her funny

the closest you get are feminists who support her and say she's funny without watching any of her standup, or people who ascribe irony to her humour and assume there's hidden depth where there isn't

>>80800739
If she were just funny, or at least a little self-aware, people wouldn't rate her special one star. But she's an unintelligent, narcissistic joke thief with a horrendous delivery who makes everything about politics. Louis made a good point about this, about how there's a sweet spot for fame where you're not bothering people who don't want what you're selling. But once you have your face on the side of buses and everyone's shoving you in everyone else's lives, then people start to hate you.

Amy could have been a perfectly fine lower-middle comic like Marina or Nicki, but this was inevitable when nearly all media outlets are calling her brave and amazing and the greatest comedian working. Kevin Hart has more humility than her, too. She makes it impossible to be on her side.

It's simple, Amy Schumer fails The Marshmallow Test.

She can't say "no."

It's the reason she shoplifts, it's the reason she's fat, it's the reason she's a drunk, it's the reason she's promiscuous, it's the reason she went from zero to overexposed in just two short years and rushed out a new special after last year's disaster special, book, and movie. Guy like Bill Burr and Louis CK "get it", it's better to have a thirty year career with ups and downs then to have a two year career where you're on the cover of People magazine. Just ask Dane Cook.

Jay Leno said "the secret is to keep the water boiling." If it's too hot the water evaporates too quickly.

Amy is funny, get over it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgX2HY2iyVQ

>>80801136
insightful anon
here's hoping she goes the way of dane cook very soon and fucks off

>>80801173
>my arms are like legs compared to the people in la
>(but remember, I'm not fat you body-shaming sexist)
>what do i do out here? i cry (but i'm still a super-confident, brave woman who would never trivialise something like depression)

jesus fucking christ, i'm only like ten seconds in

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>>80801136
Plus she is related to this big faggot

Just look at that jew face

>>80801310
that's the guy who made sure the indian child-rapist was let into america after his visa was denied right?
and then the guy molested a child and everyone had to pretend to be shocked?

>>80800739

She reminds me of my drunk Aunt Sarah so I find it hard to hate her.

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>/pol/ and Le_Donald triggered thread #4326767

https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/search?q=%22amy+schumer%22&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all

>>80801360
Yes. He praised him as a star athelete. He also cried fake tears after the immigrant ban but failed to do so when Obama also banned immigrants from Iran/Yemen and dropped bombs on childrens schools

>>80800739
Here's hoping this unfunny cunt gets diabetus and loses a leg.

>>80801480
(You)

>>80801054
ok brosnan

>>80801024
top kek

>>80800739
MY FUCKING PUSSY STINKS

>>80800739
So youre that one faggot who gave her enough to reach 1 star on Netflix, pathetic

>>80800739
I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into her repeatedly.

That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.

I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... thing... and that's what Amy Schumer is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to.

I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, guttural, Chewbacca-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the house toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.

Yeah. I reckon Amy Schumer does it for me.

>>80802520
It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.