>British """telly"""

British public are fucking plebs. They complain about the TV shows they watch but can't stop watching them. There are 4 types of shows.

>Talent show
>Panel show
>Poor taste documentary
>Friends 24/7 marathon

Only once in a while some kino comes along, like Planet Earth

>>80712798
Why didn't you mention all the soap operas?

>>80712798
>no police drama set in a northern shithole

>3 episodes
>call it a series

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>american "mini series" 8 episodes
>british "series" 3 episodes

>american *****remakes*****

>>80712956
>Northern Shithole
>Islamic caliphate of Londonistan South

Pick one and only one becuase the UK is a turd in general.

>>80712798

panel shows have killed comedy in the UK

how many good original comedy series in the 2010s can you name?

>>80712988
>see you next year!

>cats and cloister are reeeing again folks

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>>80713052
Harry enfield and chums.

>>80712896
I can't stand him. He's worse than the guy with no hands.

I fell for the commercials bait, I imagined it the BBC would like PBS but 10x better, instead it's full of trash with the odd good program
All the other channels are full of commercials, and they're generally shit tier shows
American TV >>>>>>>>>>>>> British TV
Even the sports coverage manages to be worse, you get more premier league matches free in the US
>Britain on benefits
>Border patrol US/UK/AUS
>Tattoo fixers
>My wife and kids for eight hours a day
Very disappointed tbqh

>>80713049
I started in Northern Shithole, tried Islamic caliphate of Londonistan South for 10 years, then moved back to Northern Shithole.

I might move back to Islamic caliphate of Londonistan South in a few month

>>80713217
dude I could not really care, but I will take da b8,
American sports are unbearable to watch compared to british.sports broadcasting

>be me watch usa football
>this field goal was brought to you by texas meat fest taco's

>be me watch uspga
>only show tiger woods shots
>even though he's not in contention
>this putt is sponsored by rolex
>ads every 5 mins

>>80713107

Anon that was 25 years ago

>>80713135

>Plays flavour of the week meme video
>Makes an observation pointing out the funny part
>Compares it to something the public hate
>Stare into camera and let your fucked teeth and eye rake in the normie laughs

>>80713217

I'm sorry you fell for the British meme

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The british Bill Hicks

>>80712798
>complains about lack of quality despite plenty of shows in the last 12 months have been brilliant
>says the word kino in a serious post

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>>80712748

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>The best food kino

Sneak this mother fucker in to the cinema and you're golden.

>>80713542
That's the sport itself, aside from that TV in the UK is riddled with ads unless you watch nothing but BBC and most of it is poor
I imagine Olympic coverage would be superior but that's a month every four years
Honestly I thought TV here would be more PBS and less garbage, turns out it considerably worse TV
News channels are better in the UK and you'll never see something like babestation in the US but who cares since it's just terrible cock teasing
Oh and you import the worst US shows, there's like six real wives and then there's
This is how we TOWIE

>>80713823
I don't know why I read the "gays are people" bit in Mitchell's voice, but that made the comic for me.

>it's another period piece
Wow, just kill me now. The British truly are out of ideas.

>>80713542
>golf
>American sport

>>80713844
>Greggs sausage roll

greasy trash, any local bakers makes a superior one. Greggs is for bakes only.

>>80713917

>Period piece
>Remove all the interesting history and focus on interracial relationships

>>80713135
who has no hands ?

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Oh my god the daily mail

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>>80715253
what powerful dick does this guy suck to still be on mock the week?

>pic not realated

>>80715253

So, you already, know the joke
But I'm going to restate it
Slowly, slower
And now
The punchline

Better than the AH'M FROM NIGERIA lady

Walked downstairs last night and saw a show about some millennial girl being interviewed because she takes selfies and because she takes a few landscape pics on her iphone she is "real photographer" and she kept talking about her 1000 followers, fucking narcissists

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>>80714842
This guy, so-called "Comedian".

Humans hate him.

Lobsters think he's hilarious.

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what's going on in here?

because of American TV, I have imagined that this is pretty much British TV:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9QSdLDGt7I

>>80713917
I like period pieces. It's the only time I bother watching British TV.

>>80716475
Fuck, we'd never get away with someone saying "wanker" before the watershed here in Bongland.

>>80712798
>Planet Earth
>kino
Only a couple of shots. Blue Planet was objectively better in every possible regard.

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>american TV

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>tfw from northern shithole and i can't say i dislike peter kay through fear of being flayed

Outside of the odd crime drama, British TV is awful.

US TV is awful too, btw.

Television will never be art.

>>80713052
Panel shows are the pinnacle of British television you fucking Paki

>>80713052
>panel shows have killed comedy in the UK
Would I Lie To You still consistently has me laughing my tits off.

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Don't knock it OP

>>80717746
the world needs more blackadder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9PDG5EODSw

If you can't laugh at this then you are dead inside

>>80717799
the world needs more rowan atkinson stand up

>>80717923
Reposted 60000 times on /r/videos

>>80715345
hes one of those cambridge people who gets jobs without needing to do much

>>80713095
cat and cloister the stupid what

>>80717923
Absolute madman.

>>80712798
This. TV is fucking crap.

The last British show I laughed at was Raised By Wolves on Channel 4.

Well I don't know about you, but i often hear my wife and her daughter talking in hushed voices and giggling to each other about how they can't get enough of the BBC. Which is odd as we don't own a television .

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GOAT

>>80717923
this is worse than Italian television
the world is doomed

>>80717158

Congrats on being Britain's biggest pleb

>>80717124
>be 14 when his "GARLIC BREAD" show came out
>Can't go five minutes in school without some funnyfucker shouting out "GARLIC BREAD LOLOLOLOL"

>>80718912
I had a guy that always went OTT with Lee Evans impressions and proper killed the guy for me back in the day.

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>>80713049
ah yes, the south = london

try again, Gary

>>80712748
>British Television
https://youtu.be/DazT3SDguks

>>80719039
plymouth mentioned

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRRw1ERj2Gc

this is the single greatest moment in british telly

admit it

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At least its not as bad as Aussie tv

>>80718912
My sister married a northern man, almost 10 years later and he still does the garlic bread/cheesecake quotes every single time we have that food with the same passion and excitement as the first time, drives me crazy.

>>80713052

The IT crowd is pretty good. I forget if that's 2010's though

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>>80717746
Is Rowan /ourguy/?

>>80717602
This. Others may be shit, but WILTY is GOAT.

>>80717602
Lee Mack is immensely funny on this

Proper weird

>>80716475
That is very accurate actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiKEgdQTCEo

>>80713929
local bakers don't put two sticks of butter in each pastry though

DONT FORGET YOUR FUCKING TV LICENSE!
NOTHING IS FREE IN THE UK, INCLUDING TELEVISION!

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>>80714573
THIS SO MUCH

The BBC have a huge collection of costumes they can use and Britain is full of sets for some really good historical dramas which could be made with a low cost, Wolf Hall is a good example.

Lately every historical drama I have seen from the BBC has either included some forced interracial relationship or there will be random black characters everywhere which have no historical basis.

I remember watching the first episode of a drama called Versailles and the big cliff hanger at the end of the episode was the Queen of France giving birth to a black baby.

But seriously watch Wolf Hall if you get the chance it was very well done some how it avoided the BBC's usual cuckery.

>>80712798
Which one does the dick flopping "date" show fall under?

>>80718183
channel 4 puts out some of the worst shows known to mankind but it seems like they also don't give a fuck and manage to get funding for kino shows like that every now and again

>>80713917

Americans lap them up. It still astounds me how a piece of ITV trash like Downton Abbey got so popular.

>>80722037
Wolf Hall was a great watch.

>>80712748
If British tv is so shit then why do the americans remake everything that's on it? and badly at that

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BBC produced programmes have this certain feeling to them, a certain quality that makes them look and feel cheap as fuck. It makes me feel sick.

Maybe it's the writing.
Maybe it's that the only people working for them are muslims and fresh out of uni graduates with an agenda.
I really can't put my finger on what it is, but every show feels like the equivalent of watching a cheap shit American show like Gilmore girls or once upon a time.

>>80717124
The lowest common denominator must be pretty big if his last stand up tour was the most successful of all time

>>80718519
mfw fucking kanye west was the presenter for one episode

>>80723305
>If something's done badly, why does it get done differently?

British "education"

>>80723557
Name me one remake besides the office (which was in no way better than the British version) which was actually not dogshit

>>80723975
House of Cards

>>80723975

Peep Show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yredc3ayOE

>>80723975
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xmjpk4_the-it-crowd-us-pilot_fun

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>mfw Americans will never have a duo that even comes close

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Comfiest comedy ever?

>>80726005
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SAUSAGE!

>>80726005
vic reeves is shit

You say this and yet you watch them and literally nobody is talking about american TV here because it's shit, especially when they steal our shows and ruin them

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>american television

>>80726621

jokes on you he's only 50% of the duo

>>80726117
That's not last of the summer wine?!

>>80726117
Probably

>it's a Christmas episode

There's also Last of the Summer Wine

>it's a bath episode

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>american Life on Mars
>They actually go to fucking Mars

>>80726983
>bus turds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mlnntKi2no

>>80727059
Wait, is that Daphne from Frasier playing Holly?

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>>80712798
I hate panel shows with every fibre of my being

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>Hey, hey - get this
>I'm a Briton....
>IN AMERICA?!!

*audience howls with laughter*

>>80712748
>>80713052
someone hasnt seen The Night Manager

>>80728668
It was too forgettable, barely any conflict whatsoever guess it had nice production quality though

>>80717124
im from bolton I have to like him

>>80728418
Peter obviously is an unrelated pic. The man definitely watches some of them.

Brits made The Prisoner and that's kino.

>>80726117
>Father Ted and Black-adder are the only sensible answers

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Name a more comfy series. I dare you.

>>80717124
His Bafta sppech was good.

>>80712748
I'll bite.
>Black Mirror
>Brass Eye
>Inside Number Nine
>Time Trumpet
>Monty Python

>>80716118
@He's not funny, he gets sympathy laughs

>>80729761
You literally can't. He's so endearing

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>>80726117
>yfw the back row are now all dead :(

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>>80712748
Reminder that Buzzcocks unironically ended with a family friendly season hosted by Rhod Gilbert
Reminder that Mark Lamarr still doesn't give a toss about doing telly again

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>ctrl f
>black books
>0 results

plens all of you

>>80723316
From my experience, it tends to be sound editing. They can't get the volume balance for anything right, either the SFX or music tends to drown the shit out of stuff.

>>80730929
Hard to post when I'm busy writing my novel about a lens grinder in Omsk

I honestly believe British telly stopped being good when 4:3 was abandoned.

>>80727059
Fucking hell

>>80712748
You mean as opposed to American TV that has adverts EVERY 5 FUCKING MINUTES?
Your TV is literally JUST FUCKING ADVERTS.

>>80730332
>>Inside Number Nine
Thank you Anon for reminding me.

>>80712798

My favs are press preview (especially w/Tom Dunn) and Storage Hunters

>>80712798
I'm sick to death of fucking Friends repeats on every fucking bastard minute, and when I tell anyone I get called a wierdo 'cause Friends is apparently still the hottest shit on the planet.

It's been repeated beyond death and it's not even fucking funny in the first place.

>>80712896
U K I P
K
I
P

>>80722037
I agree Wolf Hall was brilliant, that needs to come back, Thomas Cromwell hasn't finished his fuckery and neither has Henry VIII!

>>80713917
they only come out with so many period pieces because it's the only genre where it's not yet illegal to have a nonwhite on screen at all times

though even that's changing

>>80731585
>not yet illegal to have a nonwhite on screen at all times
illegal *not to have a nonwhite on screen at all times

>>80726621
Jokes on you, your opinion is worthless.

>>80731554
The newer series of Poldark is alright I suppose.

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>>80729761
I see your 'comfy' series and I raise you.

>>80731010
Is that a direct quote? LiteraIIy reddit the show

Three men in a boat was pretty cushty.

>>80717746
>not actually posting them so for a brief second (a few days later) you forget what you did.

>>80713867
Having just moved back to the U.K. From the USA you're 100% right, aside from the fact that there's no way you can imply there's more advertising here in any way shape or form.

>>80723316
>what is Planet Earth
>what is Apprentice

>>80716118
I laugh at his hands everytime it's posted
isn't that what comedy is all about?
laughing
>>80730595
>@ kill yourself

>>80713052
House of Fools

>>80723316
Top gear

>>80729090
Big Suze all the way

>>80716475
So someone watched Bottom and wrote this

>>80719178
Jesus, we really need another Brass Eye

>>80723316
I honestly love the BBC bumpers though, something so comfy about them. They just scream
"You are middle class and everything will be satisfactory and comfy"

>>80730693
Jim and Frank are still fine

>>80712748
>Britain's Best Sitcom
so comfy looking back at all the great stuff

as a kid I watched
Keeping up with appearances
Blackadder
Red Dwarf
'Allo 'Allo!
Fawlty Towers
Are You Being Served?

Now I just watch everything with David Attenborough

Also there was this weird show I liked, Monkey Dust

>>80730929
I didn't really enjoy Black Books. I stopped 5 episodes in because the laugh track made me think I was watching an American comedy show.

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>tfw this is the only man that saves the BBC from being complete and utter shite

>>80713052
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w-HOiJSFyg

>>80712896
Except he now works in America. He's you septic cunts problem now.

>>80725413
second this anon

>>80729761
River Monsters.

>>80713774
His shows are terrible but I love his Stand Up. Yes, it's observational comedy, but he combines it with good delivery and personality. Perhaps that fat American Jew woman I keep seeing wouldn't have half a star on Netflix or whatever if she could deliver a fucking joke. She even stole fucking dozens of jokes from people, even 'comedians' like Ricky Gervais and managed to make them seem awful just by copied by her.

>>80714573
Or, just as bad, have the characters bickering instead of having an interesting conversation.

Has anyone else noticed this trend? It drives me mental.

>telly

Why do British people talk like fucking retards?

>>80723422
People also hate McIntyre but he has a couple of records for his shows as well. I think both of them are pretty gear. I find Kay funny even though I'm a Southern Ponce and I find McIntyre funny cause I am a Southern Ponce.

>>80729090

The answer is Johnson

>>80733723
We invented the fucking thing so we can call it what we fucking well like you fucking melt.

>>80730929

Am I the only person that didn't like Black Books?

>>80733776
you guys are like niggers

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>>80713917
YOU'RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM. YOU. YOU FUCKING SEPTIC CUNTS. YOU EAT OUT OUR FUCKING ROYAL FAMILY (AND GOOD JOB TOO, SAVES ME £4 A YEAR IN TAX) AND YOU FOR SOME REASON GOBBLE DOWN SHITE LIKE DOWNTOWN ABBEY FOR SOME DAFT REASON.

WANNA KNOW WHY? I'LL TELL YOU.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FUCKING YOGURT AND THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?

A YOGURT HAS A FUCKING CULTURE AFTER 300 YEARS.

>>80733382
I was thinking about this the other day.
I want to see a live feed of the number TV licenses owned in the UK on the days immediately after his death. I bet there's a hell of a decline.

>BBC pushing their quotas
>Top Gear is kill
>Bake Off is kill
>losing more of the FA Cup to BT and ITV every year
Al they've got now is the snooker and the world cup/Olympics every four years to bring in the big numbers.

>>80733827
Better than being a fucking nigger, 56%er.

>>80733920
my state is whiter than the uk lmao

enjoy your tiny muslim island

>>80730332
And The Day Today.

I miss Chris Morris, he's needed now more than ever.

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>>80733863
>A YOGURT HAS A FUCKING CULTURE AFTER 300 YEARS.

>>80733947
>my state

Alaska doesn't count as a proper state. Unless it's 88% white, then you're next.

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Would you buy her loaf lads?

>>80734009
alaska isn't even the whitest state, ahmed

>>80733969
>wanting a guy who honestly thinks Stewart Lee is funny to do anything outside of satire

And satire doesn't sell any more. That impression show on friday night with the woman is actually pretty 'right wing'.

>>80734039
I'm just going to guess... Virginia?

>>80734039
>has to literally use states for whiteness while the rest of his country is barely treading water in whiteness

100 BIG LAFFS.

>>80734105
nope

>>80734138
why should i care? there are less non-whites around me than you, that's all that really matters

>>80734105
>Virginia
>White

They's be niggerish as all fuck, son.

>>80712798
Hello friends. I happen to be an Amerifat who sneaked into this thread while you were on tea break or whatever the fuck. I couldn't help but notice you have "Friends" listed here, and honestly I thought this was an American show. Like a substandard "it was all we had on back in the late 90s forgive us" American tv show. Why are you watching it?

Like did you guys know that you had a show, Coupling, that was virtually the same show but better? Go ahead and check it out. It's true. Literally a mediocre ensemble cast of friends who sit around and chat. Only it's still better than Friends.

What are you doing? Seriously. Why?

>>80722037
Wolf Hall was great. They should've done another series about Cromwell's downfall.

>>80734211
To be perfect;y honest, I learnt all the states once to show off at school, but then I forgot them all. Idaho? North Dakota, South Dakota, Hawaii (best state), Alaska, Virginia, New York, New England, Wyoming, Texas, California... Errr.... Michigan, Iowa, Wisconsin. Fuck. Colorado? New Hampshire?

I'm struggling. I honestly know more American States than Bongistan Counties.

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>>80733827
You went to war with yourself over whether or not you can fuck your cousins and say coon you daft prat, you've always been bigger niggers than full on nose-bone Africans.

>>80734273
I honestly don't know what it is but Channel 4 and Comedy Central just throw episodes of Friends everywhere. It's like filler. White noise they put on when they can't put anything else one. I think they bought the rights to it in a one-time-payment kind of deal rather than constant royalties or something because they just use it to fill dead air. No-one actually watches it, though.

>>80734371
This makes me chuckle even as a Brit because it's got truths mixed with utter bollocks in it.

Though it needs to be updated with "Iraqi army equipped with $5bn worth of American military equipment, 40,000 strong American trained force, is routed by 3,000 bumfuck terrorist group rejects which were too hardcore for even the fundamentalists. America decides that maybe this time it isn't worth it dealing with actual beyond-redemption-tier terrorists so kinda-sorta-maybe bombs them occassionally as training for it's pilots"

oh and "America deciding that maintaining military bases in Europe isn't such a great idea any more due to Russia throwing off the idea of Communism is repaid by the subsequent invasion of Crimea by Russian forces 6 months after America closes based in Germany and UK and recalls troops homes. Despite having a Soverigenty Pact with Ukraine, decides that the other signatory, Russia, didn't uphold the Pact, they don't have to either. Britain, unwilling to face off against Russia on it's own, also pulls out of the Pact. Ukraine is just left on it's own. Crimea is annexed in 2 weeks, including the Russians shooting down a civilian jetliner killing hundreds of people"

>>80717936
>The French, are you here?

>>80712748
British """food"""

>>80734031
>F I T
she makes
M E
E
N
T
A
L

>>80735708
She looks like a garlic and herb ciabattalass, not a garlic bread one desu famalam whoa Black Betty, famalam, whoa Black Betty famalam.

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>>80736068
Sort your fucking life out, /tv/

>>80736140
>he would go out with a Southern Princess

No, you sort your life out you fucking spanner.

>>80713844
this
I've lived in London for college and work for a few years and the best part I can remember is unironically greggs sausage rolls
there are the contrarians who only eat their locally sourced artisan sausage rolls but these things are so good at any time of day
I don't think there's an American fast food equivalent in how it's so good and just always something I want inside me
greggs should really consider coming to American cities there's not much competition for that sort of thing here

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>>80736068
>whoa Black Betty famalam.

>>80713917
It's because British history is so comfy after the Civil War (1640s)

>>80736068
this is literally the funniest thing ive read all year and i have no idea why

>>80712748
British "men" love to let their wives and daughters watch interracial sex on the looky-box. They even watch it on a channel called, 'BBC'. Anglos never recovered from the cuckening of 1066.

>>80737491

I'm a bong neet, 24. My sister is 26. All day, she blasts terrible music and I swear these are some of the lyrics:

>Where your wife?
>She with a nigga
>In the kitchen, pussy dripping
>So delicious

>>80737888
What the fuck? I'm an amerilard and if I caught my younger sister listening to negroid trash I would smack her until she becomes a ball of tears. If you have any respect for your sister's honor, have an intervention.

>>80731415
One of the first things I learned at my burger college was that television exists to provide consumers to advertisers. It's a terrible system, but it's what we are stuck with. Same thing with radio.

>>80713052
ye agreed with >>80733411

honestly you have a point though its almost all shite.

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>>80733411

Anyone who doesnt like this is Ray FUCKING purchase...

>>80713052
>>80738064
Just remembered a few that were p good
The thick of it, W1A, Twenty Twelve.

>>80712798

Hey now Anon you sometimes get a gem like Peep show. 9 seasons, 54 episodes and it only took 12 years to finish

>>80719331

>Aussie /tv/
>700 Cop shows about breathalyzing pissed drivers

>>80733882
you realise you need a license for any live broadcasts and not just BBC?

>>80729090

Where's the Aussie whore?

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>>80736068

Well at least the UK has The Chase. I tried watching the American version and it was complete dogshit and the host of the Australian version looks like a child fucker

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>>80733827
t. "white" American

>>80713052
I don't watch TV but I seen plebs, that is top tier and original series, though it is slightly reminiscent of the inbetweeners.

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>>80717124
Last time someone put on Phoenix Nights, I had to sit there for all the episodes in a row while everyone recited all the jokes word for word. Bad times.

>>80726117
I would have unironically fug dawn french

>>80719039

>implying this isn't thatcher's fault

>>80741354
Everything is Thatcher's fault. Want to blame somebody without any actual knowledge of the situation? Blame Thatcher.

I would much rather had based Corbyn during the Falklands War. He would have just given the islands to Argentina and St Helena as well because 'everybody is equal!'. Then he'd make sure all the footballers were only given £5 a week. After all, income tax isn't a good thing.

I find british threads fascinating. You guys are some goofy ass motherfuckers.

Amerifriend here, the only good tv program you guys have claim to is the Graham Norton show. fat fuck james corbyn or whatever is trying his best to rip off graham's format

>>80742457

James Corden is America's problem now

Like Piers Morgan

>>80742322
What inbreeding does to people.

>>80738162
>>80733411
One of the only decent British comedies in a long time.

What about podcasts? The Adam Buxton one is good but always seems slightly sad because there's no Joe.

Richard Herring is hard to listen to.

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>>80736068

fuck man it's 5am dont drop that kind of shit

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>>80736068

This inspired me and gave me a eureka moment.
Appologies if its actually cringy/try-hard:

[Insert message, then end thusly]-
Famalama-lamalama ding dong, famalama ding,
Famalama-lamalama ding dong, famalama ding.
OOH oh OH
I've got a girl named,
FAMALAMA LAMA LAMA DING DONG,
she's everything thing to me,
FAMALAMA LAMA LAMA DING DONG...

..and so on.

Here's the song for refrence if you dont know it.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc1RbEyvJCI

Thank you for your time x

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>>80713052
I enjoyed Him & Her and Pramface.

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>>80736068

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>>80736068
lol wtf

>>80743005
Sarah Solemani was cute in the show, she's aged quite poorly. She's only 31.

I long wanted Charlotte Ritchie and Sarah Solemani to do a fully nude sex scene together. Sadly time has run out, I think.

>>80736068
Was it you who's done this before? I've seen it on /sp/ I think. This was funny cause you combined ciabatta and lass together likes it's one word.

>>80712988
>deliberately prolonging a series to 26 episodes bcos of advertising

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>>80743209
She's not too bad for 31, every picture of her is caked in makeup so it's harder to tell. Her face is nice but has the same wear and tear as a typical British girl at that age.

>>80723316
I wish companies would film with old equipment to get that grainy look that used to be on shows. I don't like everything being HD.

>>80731686
THIS
wholy shit these old people are so comfy. I've only seen the one from Glasgow to Edinburgh because BBC blocked my vpn :(

>>80717124
his Bullseye bit is great

>>80726005
WHAT? YOU NEVER SEEN A MAN IN A BRA BEFORE?