The Revenant (2015)

I don't believe they were really in ye olden times. Seemed more like they filmed in the twenty teens.

How the fuck could you not get away from a bear? I could seriously fuck up most animals, or at least get out of danger.

>>80663484
Yeah ok bud go fight a bear right now and let us know when you get back

>>80663412
Animals are very fast when stressed.
I was that fag who could out run a bear until a real situation came up. I got away, but only because of a fence.

>>80663541
Humans are animals, bro.

So basically, you outran and outwitted a fucking stupid slow bear using wits and technology.

>>80663484
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK609rbSBLs

>>80663484
A grizzly can run 30 mph. Good fucking luck, Flash.

>>80663630
Apologists keep citing this statistic but never say how long a grizzly takes to get from zero to thirty, which is the real question here.

>>80663596
>the state of this post

>>80663630
People talk about 30 mph like thats super sonic and I cannot run that fast. I am way more agile and smart than a bear. Its only strength is up close. I would definately outrun and out smart a bear.

The bear scene in Backcountry still haunts me.

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>>80663657
>Apologists

What, a BEAR apologist? You fucking retard.

>>80663711
>I would definately outrun and out smart a bear.

lmao

>>80663711
You'd better be running on flat ground otherwise you're fucked.

>>80663711

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYcORrOUcOU

Yeah you couldn't run this fast or at least you'd trip, shart, start crying and get ripped apart

The movie dragged on for nearly an hour too long for what boils down to a revenge flick. Too much simplistic moralizing about complex social-economic issues like Manifest Destiny and the double-sided nature of trading companies regarding indians, while spending time to make every main white character that wasn't Glass or Weasley into an asshole. And scenes interjected to make the movie seem "artistic" just make Inarritu look pretentious.

If you cut out those scenes and some of Leo's """acting""" you could end up with a decent hour and thirty minute revenge movie set in the wilds.

>>80663657
Depends on whether they have nitrus installed

>>80663711
>be 8 year kung fu student
>took state in 110 meter high hurdles
>i cannot outrun a bear
>Carl Lewis cannot outrun a bear
>Edwin Moses cannot outrun a bear

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I shoot the bear's face until it die

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muh pelts

>>80663834
Yeah Ive seen bears run and I am very certain I could get away from it. Especially in that terrain. Do you know how easy it is to accelerate and to jump over fences? Im not a parkour dude but it's really not hard to manuvre your body. I'm not one of you fat uncoridinated retards.
Fucking bear cucks.

It really could have done without the 9000 minute long establishing shots

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>>80663856
>reading this must political propaganda into the movie
>not just enjoying a movie for what it is
Hi ya, /pol/

Man in the Wilderness is dated but still better than The Revenant, which is only carried by Chivo's gimmicky cinematography. Sarafian is very underrated.

>>80663975
So you kill the bear, but still die.

>>80663856
>make every main white character that wasn't Glass or Weasley into an asshole.

They made the french look like a bunch of disorganized, drunk, murderous rapists while the anglo protagonist is a bleeding-heart good guy who married an injun.

>>80664019
>it's just a movie lmao

I remember being 20 years old.

>>80664019
I am not a board, but when a movie outright pettles the "noble savage" indian subplot and racism elements I think it is okay to criticize those aspects. It is like saying "I've made a political statement but you are not allowed to talk about it"

Like how Civil War was marketed as a comic-book political thriller but people seemed upset whenever someone questioned its simplistic politics.

>>80664048
I think if the man is being bit in the arm or something with gun pressed to bear's head or chest he could squeeze off several devastating shots before he is too badly injured. Bears fuck around too much, not like tigers or panthers.

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>>80664136

>>80663679
Fents Poast

>>80663412
I hunt bear every season. They're pretty goddamn fast, anon. My brother in law wounded one six years ago and it still managed to make it to him and ruin his arm before it died. It was maybe 10-15 seconds from the time he took his (poor) shot until it died. In that time it made it about 50-75 yards and attacked him. All while being mortally wounded.

Bears are nothing to fuck around with. They will give you enough meat for quite some time though so it's good to fill one tag a year on them. It's a lot of food plus the population needs to be kept down where I live or they would absolutely wreck all the other animals and ruin the ecosystem.

>>80664177
I am sorry
I am not alt-right

I am sad that anyone who is not of your politics is labeled as such or a nazi. It is too partisan. In my country we have more than two political sides.

>>80663898
Says fucking (You)

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>>80664218

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ALOI63X_CE

>>80664262
Who is this man?

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>about to go to sleep
>decide fuck it, let's see if /tv/ has just one interesting thread up
>find this thread where /tv/ is trying to convince itself it can take on a bear in any capacity
>mfw
Good night, anons.

>>80664347
I think everyone who voted for Trump has the power to take on a bear.

>>80664347
They're a commonly hunted animal all over the world. I'm confused at what you mean. If someone doesn't hunt regularly or isn't knowledgeable about bear specifically then I understand but all in all, there are far more dangerous hunts than bear.

Hogs are much scarier and dangerous to hunt than bear. A hog won't back down from shit and will try to kill you the entire time you're trying to kill it. You also hunt them with spears. They can take a bullet and keep coming. A spear can kill them more effectively. Either way, it's FAR more intense than bear hunting.

>>80664621
I could take on a hog. fuck that. I've taken one down with throwing knifes. Theyre not that bad.

>>80664713
I'm talking about like huge wild boar, not Amy Schumer.

>>80664884
wish someone'd throw some knives at her desu

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>>80664884
Do you mean these things? Yeah I think Im good.

>>80664713
Yeah , nah

>>80663856
>Complaining about an anti-white agenda in The Revenant, of all fucking films
Jesus /pol/, come on

>>80664970
Holy shit that picture is insane. Was that a boar? Christ, he fucked that car up.

In person, they're the most intimidating hunt I've ever been on. Good eating for like half the year though and I'm a kill what you eat guy so that's incredibly important.

>>80665059
>it's a rhino

>>80665059
Id love to get into that kind of stuff. I don't know anyone who hunts though and I don't think it's something I can get into alone.

>>80665053
Anon every white man in the movie aside from Glass and Weasley was either a racist, a rapist, a motherfucker or a bastard. And a shoehorned "I'm just looking for my daughter, please stop stealing my food white devil" mass-murdering injun that was never part of the original story and a mixed-race child that never existed and was purely created to create a "dialogue" about racism.

I think I'm allowed to call out simplistic race-baiting when it occurs. Pretending it is not there is stupid.It is like saying The Eternal Jew was not at all antisemitic.

>>80663975
you wouldn't stand a chance Togusa

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>>80665166
Ok, you've eloquently made your case.
>mfw /pol/ knows the art of argument
But consider the era and situation. I'm sure any race of people in the same situation would be 93% assholes.
I was looking forward to the noble savage story also.

>>80665272
Togusa would have Bato use his shotgun arm and blow its fucking head off

>>80663760
Yeah fuck you, bear apologists ar the worst because they don't really let hunter apologist apologize.

>>80663711
Usain Bolt's top speed was 27 mph but it's hard to keep that up for farther than 100 metres, even for an olympic athlete.

>>80665340
So how does a fat ass bear run faster than him over terrain? Major plot hole there.

>>80663856
I thought the movie was like an hour too long but mostly because the camera chose to linger on imagery and scenes that I'm sure Lubezki thought were deep, but it really dragged the movie out, plus those scenes don't add that much to the plot or quality of the story other than being good for a wallpaper.

>>80664177

>not "the alt-right fights with A E S T H E T I C S"

Fucked up, friend

>>80665360
Are you asking how can a bear be faster than a human? Well generally speaking having four legs make you go much faster, horses weigh much more than a human and are able to go at least 3 times faster without tiring, their muscles are made for strenght and endurance so they go much faster; something similar happens to a bear.

I mean look at gorilla footage, they are much faster than you'd expect them to be, sure they have more muscle but they also weigh more, it's the use of their four extremities which gives them an edg on speed.

>>80665360
I think this is bait but I'm about to bite.

No one can outrun a bear. Even Usain Bolt would for a very short time but the bear can maintain those speeds for much longer than he can. I think other anon was right that he has hit 27mph before. He is the fastest human alive. He can't maintain 27mph for very long at all. A bear can maintain about 25mph on any terrain (uphill or down) for much longer than a human being.

When you're going to hunt bear, the first thing anyone is going to tell you is that if you miss your shot DO NOT RUN. Under any circumstances. If the bear charges you even, do not turn away and run. You can not possibly outrun the bear. You're better off trying to stand your ground and raise your arms. It might back off eventually. If you turn your back and run, it will assume you are prey by the time it catches you and make sure to kill you. If you hold your ground, it might maim you and try to make a getaway because it won't perceive you as prey.

You NEVER run from a bear. Ever, ever, ever. That is the absolute worst thing you can ever do around a bear. It sends the bear the wrong message and it's impossible to outrun a bear.

>>80664177
is that a tendie sticking out of his collar?

>>80665457
Thank you for the explaination, I should have known.
I could totally take down a horse though.

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>>80663541
>>80663596
>>80663630
>>80663711

>>80665489
That's not entirely false. And you actually could with the right amount of training and equipment.

Romans, after the marian reforms, were very strange in the world of warfare, their enemies used hoplites with long spears, cavalry and archers, and when roman legions came to the battlefield, they had the classic legionnaire, some archers, cavalry and velites. War used to be a more strategic game of rock, paper scissors where you used infantry to beat cavalry, but you could only do that with spears.

Romans didn't used spears, they used pila but they were more suited against shielded infantry, in order to defeat cavalry, romans trained to be in peak human condition so when a horse charges into a legionnaire, they pushed into their legs and broke them, some could push the torso of a horse and bring it down.

Of course, horses don't have claws or fangs like bears...

>>80665595
I'm talking bare knuckle fight. Just beating the shit out of a horse. I believe I can do it.

>>80665595
Being armored is a good idea for that. A kick from a horse will shatter whatever it hits. A buddy and me were shoeing a horse when we were teenagers. The horse was skittish and did eventually throw a kick. It hit my friend in the shin. His bone was completely out the side of his leg. He never walked correctly again. That thing ruined his ass. They have quite the kick on them.

>>80665644
This is insanity. It would probably just run from you and you couldn't catch it. If you cornered it, it would certainly kill or cripple you. You'd at least need a knife. You can't win bareknuckle against a horse. You're severely underestimating the size and strength of a horse.

>>80665669
What if I jump on it's back and just beat it over time?

>>80663412
Bears are very fast.

IIRC they aren't as good as turning, so while you can't outrun a bear, I think maybe you can circle around trees large rocks to avoid it.

>>80665687
Works on girls too!

>>80665687
Rodeos are a spectacle for a reason, anon, people try to stay on a wild horse as long as they can, even with a saddle and a surface to hold on to.

I'm telling you man, humans aren't really peak anything, we're not the fastest, strongest, tallest, heaviest, nimblest, sturdiest, with the best eyesight, hearing, smelling, our stomachs are weird, but we're smart and can use tools.

If you remove tools from your repertoire, you're far below most animals in terms of... I don't know, powerlevel I guess.

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>>80665539
that's long distance running, not sprinting. not even usain bolt can outsprint many animals

>>80665687
You can't just jump on a horse like that. I can tell you've never been around one. You can't jump high enough for that and with no saddle or stirrups you can't climb it either. If it's trying to get away, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Say you did though, you don't possess the strength to hurt the horse. You could annoy it and it would buck you off IMMEDIATELY but you don't hit hard enough to actually hurt such a large animal.

You would be better off on the ground than on it's back though. It's in control if you're on it.

>>80665739
>43 mph
god damn dinosaurs

Anons I remember seeing a yt clip of a guy running through a forest track, he had a gopro fixed to his head and was out exercising. Anyway he was running through this track and turned briefly to the side where there was an opining in the brush and there was a big grizzly that sees him and starts trotting towards him. The dude goes "Shit! and starts sprinting down the track for a good few minutes. He obviously got away from it. I can no longer find the vid, it was a few years ago.

>>80665735
Yes, and if you remove the legs from the cheetah, you have a very slow animal.

>>80665687
Horses are assholes and extremely dangerous. Stay away from them.

>>80665805
The bear gave up. It most likely wasn't chasing him just running him away from his turf. Once he saw the human was well on his way out, he just went back to doing bear stuff.

>>80665824
I don't think a cheetag would say "I'm gonna catch my meal without the use of my legs" like anon right here says "I'm gonna beat the shit out of this horse without the only thing that I do better than it".

I feel like this thread needs this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ywe60Nk_dEk

>bear apologists
>bear's being outrun by human beings
This has to be the most absurd, I don't even know. You're some magnificent bastards. Have you ever seen a bear in real life? Let's talk about beating up squirrels or badgers first.

Why don't humans run faster on 4 legs?

>>80665739
Oh i would definatly kick and ostrishes ass.
Fuck those dumb cunts man. I'd just strangle them or break their neck.

>>80665935
I think our legs have to be shaped a bit differently to do so effectively

>>80665960
No experience with ostriches but I've heard they're pretty mean/dangerous before.

I've spent my whole life around horses and have hunted black bear every year for the past fifteen years. Those two animals I know well. Ostriches though, not so much.

>>80665935
Lack of strenght in arms, arms being much shorter, our palms aren't exactly the right shape for constant contact with the floor. Generally just an evolutionary thing.

>>80665960
Ostrich's neck is more rubbery than you think, if I could compare it to anything it'd be like trying to snap a very long flaccid dong, also their legs are very strong, their beak has longer reach than your arm.

>>80665872
I just feel, apart from him bucking me which I will admit will happen but if i use any tool, even a large rock I would out power that bitch so much it's not fair.

>>80665906
/thread

>>80663412
Jamie pull up that video of the bear attacking the guy

>>80665997
I'm not walking up slowly to the animal, and I know from exp that they come up to you and act like assholes. I could easily snatch their neck and therefore their life.

>>80664177
A E S T H E T I C

>>80665906
That's crazy. Humans suck ass mostly.
Definatly better than cows though. Cows are such bitches.

>>80666002
You're both overestimating your strenght and underestimating a horse's strenght, but it really depends on the breed, a percheron horse is the biggest there is and I don't think you could kill it with anything short of a gun.

>>80666031
Ostriches have senses that allow them to get away from lions and, sometimes, from cheetahs so excuse my lack of faith in your skills.

>>80666031
>teleports onto bear
>"heh, nothing personal bear"
>??
>profit

>>80666053
bulls though

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>>80663412
>Great movie but that bear moved way too fast to be believable
It's called cinematography you fucking mongoloid. They make the bear look way more terrifying because from the perspective of the victim it looks like an unstoppable monster and they're portraying his perception of it rather than the reality of what it'd look like if you filmed a bear attack on a camera.
For a board called /tv/ this place is sure filled with a bunch of film-illiterate motherfuckers

>>80665935
this has been my retard fantasy since forever. inventing a new way of running on all fours and winning the olympics.

>>80666098
Your wife's bull?

>>80666081
lmao! best post so far :'D

>>80666076
Well in Australia if youre driving through the desert you see them dead on the road and also if you stop near then they just come up to you and check shit out. It's here I would make my move. I'm not on foot running it down, don't be daft. I lure it in and then i choke it to death from my car. Easy peazy.

>>80666155
You're using a car though. So point proven, using a human invention to beat an animal.

>>80665906
Holy fuck man, that is quite fast.

>>80666170
Well then fuck it. ill tie a rope to it and use a trebuchet to fling it over the ramparts and kill it.

What percentage chance would you give yourself to beat a bear in a fight with no weapons?

>>80666155
>in australia

Stopped reading there

>>80666237
Literally 0.

Everything can become a weapon, that is the only strength to being a human.

>>80666002
No man, I've seen multiple people get ruined by horses. You're not thinking of how big they are. Even some of the smaller breeds are just so much bigger and stronger than you. It's going to go fucking crazy. Even with a rock, you aren't going to land cleanly on it. It will be moving A LOT and kicking like crazy. It's going to land something significant before you are. The second it lands ANYWHERE it's game over for you.

It takes a lot to actually hurt a horse. They're very tough. They're strength is unbelievable. The power of their kicks is ungodly. It's not something you'll hear a lot but I'm sure anyone who's been around them a lot will agree with me, a horse is an EXTREMELY dangerous animal. You're talking about a horse fighting for it's life. You have no chance without a gun.

>>80666155
>Easy peazy.
stopped reading right there

>>80666237
>a bear

close to a 0% the bigger the bear

>>80666237
69%

>>80665906
I could do that on my Nike(tm) sneakers easy

>>80666237
Depends on the reason the bear is attacking

If he's just playing then your best bet is to play dead

If you're near a mother bear and her cubs you're fucked-o in the butt-o

>>80666237
15%

Less if it was absolutely committed to kill

>>80666155
>in Australia
ah, ok, go on

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>>80665906
BTEC KICKED IN YO
>mfw

>>80665144
Hunting is easy as fuck. Just look up basic laws on your state for deer or duck or whatever you're after, read up on the basics, hell even watch videos on youtube that explain it Barney style for you, then shoot an animal and eat like a king once the appropriate hunting season rolls around.

bears are a meme
i could kill one with a rock and some matches

What is with you guys and being so anti-human? It's fucking bullshit. We need to start a movement where we as a species to become better at kicking the shit out of animals.

RIDDLE ME THIS CUNTS

ARNOLD SWARTZENEGGER KILLED A MOTHERFUCKING PREDATOR IN THE JUNGLE USING ONLY HIS WITS

YOU'RE SAYING I CAN'T KILL A BEAR? SURELY A PREDATOR FUCKS A BEAR UP

CHECKMATE

>>80666237
Depends on the bear, like if it's a starving baby bear that is kind of retarded and weighs less than 50 pounds, then yes. But if we're talking about a "bear" like hunting you. No, infantile power fantasies aside, you are dead.

>>80666237
No weapons? 0%
Give me a knife and I'll up that to 5%, maybe 15-20% with a good adrenaline rush.

>>80666311
>we as a species
get fucked, i'm not gonna team up with niggers and muzzies

>>80666344
Well I didn't even think about them. Whitey gotta step it up.

>>80666312
You're no Schwarzie though.

>>80666237
Better question: How many regular 4chan dudes would it take to kill a bear. I bet there's a number. I'll start with 20.

>>80666311
It's a tradeoff honestly, we're the smartest animal on earth with the greatest wit and complex thought along with creativity, in order to do that we need to use much more energy in our brain; as our brain grew we started to use less energy in hunting, we started cooking which allowed our digestive system to stop certain processes, we required less energy to do the same things.

I mean cows eat a lot and do mostly nothing because the energy their stomachs and digestive system requires is enormous, lions eat full ox's because of the energy needed for their muscles to keep going.

If we wanted to become the strongest, fastest with the best sense of sight, smell and hearing, we would require much much more energy to keep us healthy.

At this point, huge brain but worse than mediocre anything got us to be the dominant species on the planet, don't underestimate the power of the human spirit.

>>80666311
we're already literally controlling all animal populations on earth. we just aren't doing it by naked fist fighting.

>>80666325
>a starving baby bear

Bro, a 50lb "baby" bear that is starving is not going to be starving anymore if it comes into contact with you and you don't have any weapons. A bear cub weighs like 10-20lbs if that's what you were talking about. Once they're up to like 50lbs you're SO fucked. It will climb up you, the act of it climbing you alone will kill you or completely disable you.

A 50lb bear is not exactly small enough for you to control it.

>>80666155
>in Australia
This explains why you act out so much on a Polish monocle polishing board.

>>80666375
A BEAR IS NOWHERE NEAR A PREDDY

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> People think they have any kind of chance against a bear

> Have no idea the sort of survival chance they have against a decent sized dog

Don't fuck with predators my scions of fire.

>>80666400
dude. that's a single dumbbell. how fucking weak are you physically.

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>>80666400
>50lb
>the act of it climbing you alone will kill you or completely disable you.
>50lb

>>80663412
>Great movie
Stop reading

>>80666311
>anti-human
Anon we can & most likely will destroy this whole planet with the push of a button.
You're masculinity is intact.

>>80666396
It's not good enough. I want to go bareback against all kinds of animals and that how I want to live my life. Live or die.

>>80666442
hey man if the bear is a baby he might as well be a baby human too

>>80666414
Somebody post the webum of those innocent doggos that dindu ruffin

>>80665457
A human can out distance a horse endurance wise.

>>80666414
I will always fuck a dog up.

>>80666420
>>80666442
A female mountain lion is barely larger than what you're talking about.

A dumbbell doesn't move. It doesn't evade. It doesn't dig into you to the point where your veins are shredded when it touches you.

It's not the 50lbs that's a problem. It's the claws and teeth are quite developed by the time a bear is 50 lbs. Developed enough to kill and maim you. Every touch is a possibility that you're going to be disabled by it. You cannot control a 50 lb bear to the point that it isn't going to touch you.

You certainly have a better chance against a bear that size but you can't just throw it off of you because it's only 50 lbs.

You guys really need to go outside more. Your idea of nature is completely wrong.

>>80666459
most humans can't even run for half an hour without collapsing

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>>80666442

A doberman is ~ 50 lbs.

I don't give you good odds against a trained doberman, even with a knife.

>>80666459
I can out distance a human that's running by walking, endurance wise.

>>80666466
Same.
It's literally a neck coming at you ready to be choked out while you gouge at it's face.

>>80666466

No, even a Pitbull could kill you in seconds with just a momentary error, or a loss of concentration.

Much more possible to survive? Absolutely. But canines are incredibly dangerous when trained or wild.

Man Vs. Dog fights would be enormously one sided.

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>There are people in this thread who think a human can outrun a bear or a horse

What the actual fuck

>>80666497
The act of a doberman jumping on anyone isn't going to kill them though. Try actually reading the post next time anon.

>>80666481
see >>80666562

>>80666558
This is literally the best thread on /tv/ right now.
Thank those fools.

>>80666513

While you're gouging that dog has ripped out your throat. Congratulations you are now dead.

What do you think attack dogs are? Distractions?

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>>80666562

see >>80666576

Also a 50lb wolf can gut you with its claws. It'll mostly use them against your groin though, to rip apart your testicles.

>>80666481
or you're just pencil neck geek 120lbs wet in boots. 50lbs bear isn't doing anything to a physically fit average male. are you always just standing still in these yiffing fantasies where baby animals overwhelm you?

>>80666481
Don't bother, they're completely out of touch.

>>80666576
Yes but a bear might mortally wound you just by jumping on you. Even at 50 lbs. Anything it grabs when you push it away is going to be annihilated. If that happens to be your eyes or throat or knee or whatever, that's now disabled. Anything that bear grabs at is fucked. Their claws are absolutely brutal.

Like I said, it isn't the weight it's that by 50lbs a bear has developed claws and teeth. Anytime it grabs you (which will be every single time you grab it) it's going to gouge deep gashes into wherever it touches. A human can't take that for long.

You don't have any claws. When you touch the bear, nothing happens to it. It's not a fight you're going to win if you're unarmed.

I think with a knife, you could survive an attack from a 50 lb bear. Once you cut it good, it will probably retreat. Unarmed though, it has nothing to fear from you and it's not even going to take a minute until you're disabled in some way. You're underestimated the claws of a bear here.

>>80666658
>Also a 50lb wolf can gut you with its claws.
That's not the act of them jumping on you though. Can you read?

>>80666600
Only women and children die from dog attacks.

>>80666658
That's a cute wolfo. Can I pet it?

>>80666662
I have hunted bear for a long time now. I know them well. I don't care how big you are, you have nothing to offer a 50 lb bear. You are completely incapable of hurting it.

What are you going to do exactly when it jumps on you? Something with your hands? Do you plan on using your hands again in this fight? How do you keep it from latching on? Are you even aware of how a bear kills its prey?

Go watch some vids of how they hunt. You'd be super fucked against a 50 lb bear.

>>80666600
Sacrafice your arm (the first target for dogs), then choke while carrying by neck.
I've done it many times on pitbulls.
>inb4 real attack dog

>>80666686
That's called pouncing. You think whatever wild animal that wants to fuck you up is merely going to jump on you without immediately, or simultaneously, use his fangs/claws/teeth or whatever it has to harm you ?

>>80666679
I would completely knock out a baby bear with my fist. It has claws and shit yeah they will cut me a bit but I have a fist and speed and intelligence. I will beat the shit out of it like I was in fight club. It has no chance.

>>80666679
What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you think humans are so physically inept?

>>Anything it grabs when you push it away is going to be annihilate
>>that's now disabled.

You do understand that people have been stabbed and shot with actual guns and knives and still went on fighting?

>>80666679
Explain how the guy in which the movie in OP was based on wasn't killed by a full grown grizzly fucking immediately then.

>>80665539
Humans are actually fifth after alaskan huskies, camels, pronghorn antelopes and ostriches.

>>80666770
Someone promote this man. He gets that humans aren't just sausage in burlap sacks waiting to get clawed to death but some fucking bear or dog.

>>80666686

See

>>80666679

A 50lb weight hanging from you by claws digging into your flesh and then dragged with force and momentum is going to open you up.

I suppose what you're saying is that this animal can climb up without that happening, which is true. But it won't do that in an attack, it will kick and rip with its legs/paws.

>>80666701

No, men are killed too. And you're only taking into account domesticated pet/companion animals with anger management issues. Not an attack dog trained to kill. That is enormously rare because it's rarely legal to do that afaik, and people sort of try to avoid getting into a fucking fistfight with one.

Plenty of ways to not get killed by a dog... before you're seeing it run towards you.

>>80666724

You may.

>>80666874
Does it bite?

>>80666311
Anon humans can end all life on this planet with a push of a button. We're at the top of the food chain because of our intelligence take that away and we're back at being at the bottom.

>>80666763

Dogs are trained to go for arms to disarm and contain a threat. They a very rarely trained to *Kill*.

A dog trained to kill will see your sacrificial arm and thank you for an easy kill as it grabs your throat instead. Or it might grab your "sacrificial" arm, unbalance you and then go for the throat.

Look I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm saying it's inordinately dangerous and a dog trained to kill (or say, a dingo) will fuck you up most days of the week.

And that's a dog. Not a bear.

>>80666800
There isn't convincing evidence that Hugh Glass ever survived a bear attack, or really even existed, so that point is moot.

Movies are fiction, anon

>>80663484
>>80663711
okay but think of the issue in the context of the film. They didn't set glass and mama bear against a starting line to have a footrace, he was blindsided by a bear and by the time she backed off and he got a shot off, he was already too wounded to just "out run the bear"

He even shot her in the head or near it and she just fucked him up some more before dying.

>>80666922
I wasn't talking about the movie. Learn to read.

>>80666853
Honestly if offered an astronomical amount of money, I think most people who tried could take on even an attack dog.
>battle arena when?

>>80666915
>humans can end all life on this planet with a push of a button
turks are immune to nukes though

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>>80666853

>>80666944
I hesitate to call their existence "life."

>>80666770

You understand that a knife fight is perhaps the most deadly kind of combat you can possible be involved in - and predators are only coiled muscle, knives, an instinct?

If you've trained for it, you're a soldier, you get good odds.

If you're just (you) - then you're fucked.

>>80666817
>>80666770
Because we fucking are and that's why we developed tools, to survive.

If you aren't at least a professional fighter, you are not going to stand a chance bareknuckle against most animals being talked about in this thread.

>>80666737
>I have hunted bear for a long time now.

oh yeah. did you fight one? i don't understand how you think a physically fit man would just get instantly overwhelmed by 50lbs. the forces just aren't there unless it's being shot from a cannon. it's not an olympic wrestler. you aren't just going to fall flat as soon as you get cut either. it'll bite and scratch whatever it can reach, but it won't just teleport to your jugular.

>>80666922
Are you really arguing that nobody in history has ever survived a bear attack? Come on.

>>80666938

Oh I'm certain of it. So certain that it's unusual it's not a sport isn't it? Even in the shittiest areas of kekistan.

Wonder why?

>>80663412
Bravo anon you sure did your extensive research on bear attacks with this single youtube video and Inarritu surely didn’t have a whole team of bear experts on set and in post production just for this crucial scene alone bravo you got em

>>80666938
>astronomical amount of money
I'd try that for 5 bucks.

>>80666944
>same with Armenians

>>80666989
okay I will admit i will not take on a bear without at least a knife. Large stones wont be enough they can take blunt trauma, I have to stab it.
Best case is I have a knife and I have traps around me I can lure the bear into.
It can be done im sure.

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>all the girly men in this thread

>>80666998

You ever had a German Shepherd barrel into you and pull your arm down?

Maybe you're a large man. I didn't account of obesity. Might work.

Anyone have the two grizzly bears going at it webm?

>>80666989
Most animals ITT? Yeah, no shit. A male grizzly is 600lbs and wolves over 100lbs. This retarded fuck however thinks a 50lbs baby bear is just going to stop you dead like a rifle bullet to the gut.

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>>80667073

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>>80667091
Interesting. But not the webm.

>>80666931
>Explain how the guy in which the movie in OP was based on...
>The Revenant is a 2015 American semi-biographical Western film directed and co-produced by Alejandro G. Iñárritu and co-written by Iñárritu and Mark L. Smith, based in part on Michael Punke's 2002 novel of the same name, describing frontiersman Hugh Glass
The real Hugh Glass likely did not actually survive a bear attack, or ever even get attacked by a bear. Feel free to research this topic instead of assuming I'm illiterate, you knuckle-dragging nignog

>>80666770
You just don't understand anything about bears. Our skin is too soft. They can rip it up, man. You NEED a weapon.

On the other hand, they scare pretty easily and won't go into full on fight mode. The scenario we're discussing is a 50 lb bear in full on life or death mode while you are unarmed. You have no chance in that. You absolutely can't hurt it to the point that it will take you as a threat. It will hurt you much faster. They're also fairly intelligent. Especially in the way they kill. It knows to go for your legs, eyes, that kind of thing. They're really interesting creatures. Learn about them. They're cool.

If you have a knife, you can hurt it to the point that it will get scared and run away. They're also smart enough to understand when something can kill it. I'm just not sure what you think you can do to it. You don't have the power to hurt it with punches, you can't gouge its eyes because you're too close to it by that point. Basically, if it can grab you, it can kill you. This is bear safety 101 for anything larger than a cub (about 20lbs). You keep your distance and try to scare it away. If it comes to confrontation, stab it. If you're unarmed, scream loudly and that might scare it. If it's already on you, play dead.

Everything you're saying goes against what anyone who knows about bears or nature in general would say. You're completely wrong here. I think you're thinking of a cub though. You're not understanding what a 50 lb bear is.

>>80666998
What about when it grabs your legs? You can't really push it away fast enough for it not to. You don't think it's gonna tear the fuck out of your leg? I mean, maybe you get lucky and can still stand but you're gonna wanna get out of there. You're not gonna win a fight against it. It doesn't need to get to your jugular. It just needs to get your ankle or knee. Once you're down, it's over. A 50 lb bear can fucking destroy your leg a lot faster than you're thinking.

>>80667053
>You ever had a German Shepherd barrel into you and pull your arm down?

yeah i wasn't trying to kill it.

>>80667091
You have my interest

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Anyone thing they could take on one of these cunts?

>>80667043
That's pretty damn amazing.

>>80667139
Is that you, Leo?

>>80667133
I was specifically talking about Hugh Glass and you just sperg out about the movie. Learn to read anon, it can change your life.

>>80666138
Follow your dreams.

>>80666311
Its not anti-human its just realistic.

>>80667043
>bullshit to draw tourists

Really """believable"""

>>80667185
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Vqs2ZOOirk

>>80667139
And samefagging here but just for bear education...

A bear isn't going to go into full on life or death mode on you, most likely. If it's starving, maybe. Like I said though, they're pretty damn smart. They know anything walking on two legs isn't worth it. They usually run away at the mere sight of a human. That's why we have an advantage on them. It's very rare they decide to attack. Even when they do, it's not usually a full on kind of thing. They'll try it out but get scared pretty easily.

I'm taking that out of the equation. Just full on bear in all out kill mode. That's a scenario everyone fears in nature but it's also EXTREMELY rare. They don't really fuck with us. When they do, they usually try to scare you away first. Bears aren't all that aggressive in reality.

Anon said "starving 50 lb bear" and that's what I've been arguing. A non starving bear is just going to run away from you before anything happens 99 times out of 100.

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>>80667004
Sure there are survivors of bear attacks. They often come out looking very different than they went in

>>80667185
Damn Australia, you scary

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>>80667043
>so manly they erected a plaque in honor to his manliness

>>80667254
>australia

Of course.

>>80667265
That's fake. He just has a piece of ham on his face

>>80667228
>verified by game biologists
Sad you weren't on call that day. They could have used your vast knowledge that day I'm sure.

>>80667139
I don't understand why you think humans are so incapable of inflicting damage. You can rationalize your bear facts all you want, but I literally don't understand why you think humans are so physically weak specifically.

>>80667185

They aren't really that deadly.

>>80667256
What if I have a jar of honey in my backpack?

>>80667185
If starving, yes.

>>80667305
"The world's deadliest bird" isn't that deadly?

>>80667303
>it's written on a plaque
>it must be true

>>80667305
Oh good I'm so glad some anon on 4chan cleared that up

>>80667321
Literally part of the aboriginal diet.

woah it's like Dwight Schrute from The Office™ here!

>>80667196
Yes, and I was also talking about Hugh Glass, and the fictionalized retellings of his life story. But really it was all about you, honey

>>80667256

Exactly why say, Hippos are dangerous but Rhinos aren't. It's not like you're gonna win against a fucking Rhino.

But they don't attack you. Hippos are ornery, territorial fuckers that are hard to see coming.

Taking the behaviour out of the equation, lots of animals are crazy deadly. And with behaviour some animals that seem benign are dangerous. Like Alpaca.

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relevant to this thread

>>80667368
I guess they aren't that deadly it can be killed with a curved stick

>>80667393
The human with the gun will protect me.
I am 100% pro human.

>>80667304
I don't but I know what a bear's skin feels like. It's very, very thick and tough. There isn't really a weak point on them that you can exploit without a weapon. You can't tear at it like it can tear at you, you know?

Your punches are not even going to effect a 50 lb bear, they really aren't. You'd have to try to eye gouge it or something (the only real weak point you can exploit without a weapon) but you're too close to it at that point.

This shouldn't be hard to get. You have no claws. When you grab at the bear, it's flesh is fine. Punching a 50 lb bear is not like punching a 50 lb child. That's not going to just fold it up. It's barely going to notice that. Maybe eventually if it isn't fighting back you could do some damage but you can't damage it as fast as it can damage you.

Humans can inflict some serious damage on a lot of things. Bears are just very set up for it. It's just a bad animal to use as an example. They don't have many weak points, they're literal killing machines, and they're very resilient.

It's more that I think a bear is a terrible, terrible matchup for a human being. One of the absolute worst in the animal kingdom. Humans are tough as fuck in their own right, it's just an awful matchup for us if we're unarmed.

>>80667304

Because we don't have formidable teeth or claws. We can punch.

You'll have trouble putting a damn Labrador down with punches.

I mean yeah there is wrestling, but that only really works effectively against creatures that don't have knife hands.

>>80667336
You're right, nothing that happens outside of my range of vision ever takes place either.

>>80667393
Are those peregrine falcons? Cause I might go with that, controlling the air and having a swarm of very fast birds sounds good.

>>80667373
At least you didn't focus on the movie this time. You're learning ;^)

>>80667393
Which of those are really motivated?

>>80667393

No way to survive because you can't take both the rodents and the falcons.

None of the choices can protect against either of them. 20-30 rats will kill you.

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I love this meme where we pretend to be experienced bear attack experts.

Let's make an Interstellar thread and pretend we're fast rotational supermassive blackhole experts too, that's always fun.

>>80667443
>You'll have trouble putting a damn Labrador down with punches.
Is everyone on this site either a 90 pound weakling or some fatso that never leaves the house?

>>80667490
>supermassive blackhole

I don't think your mom is awake yet.

>>80667321

It's just sensationalism. There have been like 150 recorded attacks and 1 death.

It's a bird. It's not saying much.

>>80667495
Both.

>>80667393
Make the rats x10,000 and it might be a fair fight

>>80667495
I am the bearfag and I don't agree with that statement about that lab at all. Let me make that super clear. An adult male human being is going to fucking WRECK a Labrador in a fight. No doubt about it. I'd give the human a near 100% chance of killing it.

Bears are just pretty much the king of 1v1. It's an intelligent predator that has a body that's set up to take damage and hide it's weak points. They're a fucking nightmare for us.

Labs and shit? Not so much.

>>80667490
>I don't but I know what a black hole's skin feels like. It's very, very thick and tough. There isn't really a weak point on them that you can exploit without a weapon. You can't tear at it like it can tear at you, you know?
>Your punches are not even going to effect a 50 lb blackhole, they really aren't. You'd have to try to eye gouge it or something (the only real weak point you can exploit without a weapon) but you're too close to it at that point.
>This shouldn't be hard to get. You have no claws. When you grab at the blackhole, it's flesh is fine. Punching a 50 lb blackhole is not like punching a 50 lb child. That's not going to just fold it up. It's barely going to notice that. Maybe eventually if it isn't fighting back you could do some damage but you can't damage it as fast as it can damage you.
>Humans can inflict some serious damage on a lot of things. Blackholes are just very set up for it. It's just a bad physical object to use as an example. They don't have many weak points, they're literal killing machines, and they're very resilient.
>It's more that I think a blackhole is a terrible, terrible matchup for a human being. One of the absolute worst in the universe. Humans are tough as fuck in their own right, it's just an awful matchup for us if we're unarmed.

>>80667393
It's not possible. If you take the bears, the human can take the bears down. Take the rats, the falcons can get you. Take the falcons, the crocs will get you. Take the two gorillas, the bears, wolves, and lions will eventually get them.

Now IF they start attacking EACH OTHER, I'd probably take the 9 crocs.

>>80667486
WHAT? first of all, they are mice. and theres no way I am dying to even 1000 of them at once, let alone the tiny number you said. god you are a huge pussy. there is no point to you.

>>80667513
1 white person

Who knows how many abbos

>>80667495

If you pinned it down, sure. I'm talking about fighting a dog with closed fists and trying to punch it while it bit you up. It's not easy. It would be troublesome.

And I'm assuming average anon physique. So a 14 yo boy.

>>80667495
Where do you think we are?

>>80663484
They can run much faster than a person, can climb trees, and root into holes or a stump.
You're lucky that most bears are pretty docile.

>>80667540

No I mean literally punching it to death. It will take some time.

Compared to choking it, ripping open arteries and veins, biting etc etc.

Dog's just aren't as vulnerable to blows to the head and body as we are.

>>80667423
>>80667443
It's not a fucking boxing match. I'm not going to jab for points. This absolutely can only come down to that 50lbs is a lot heavier to you guys than to me at this point.

>>80667553

You don't seem to be aware how swarms work. These aren't just mice, they are mice trying to kill you.

You'd kill maybe 12-24 before the others have torn out your eyes and wriggled into the sockets.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWVw-j8eYSk

I swear to god nobody here has ever been in a fight, neither the "any small animal will kill you"-fags nor the "i can fuck up anything"-fags. Bodyweight is the single best predictor for who wins assuming some competence for both combatants.

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>>80666081
top kek

>>80667704
>I swear to god nobody here has ever been in a fight

Most people in first world countries haven't ever been in a fight, what's your point

>>80663596
>slow bear
Never seen a bear run have you?

>>80667704
Neither have you.. with an animal.

>>80667690
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWVw-j8eYSk
HOW

HOW DO THEY FEED THEMSELVES

>>80667729
>what are martial arts, military training or even schoolyard fights

>>80667739
Humans are animals.

>>80667704
I know a girl who put a dog to sleep by shoving her arm down it's throat

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>>80667393

>>80667661
You're focusing on the weight too much. 50lbs is how much my gear weighs that I take into the woods. That's not the issue.

It's the razor hands that can grab in a similar way to your hands. The fact that it isn't a boxing match makes my point even better. It's going to grab your legs and shit. Like grab them for dear life with its razor hands. That'll tear the fuck out of your legs man. Like giant gashes, deep ones too.

It doesn't come down to the weight. It's the claws and the way it can grab. Even other shit that weight with claws I think most adult men can take. Just not bears. The way they can grab is ridiculous. Nothing with claws like that should be able to grab in that way. There's literally no way to get it off of you without it doing severe damage to whatever it grabbed onto.
>>80667704
When they're physically similar. Not when one has fucking razor sharp claws to grab and rip at you with. I'm not saying any small animal can kill you. Just bears.

I think bears (if we're taking behavior out of it) are the absolute worst matchup for us. There's nothing quite like them. Their method of attack is just terrible for us. We don't have many ways to defend it.

>>80667766
>>what are martial arts, military training or even schoolyard fights

Things that the majority people in first world countries never experience anon, again what's your point

>>80667704

> Bodyweight is the single best predictor for who wins assuming some competence for both combatants.

I'll take your 300lb+ MMA guy against my King Cobra.

>>80665539
is this how people make arguments these days? holy shit you are stupid. you would never outrun a bear. in fact 99.9% of humans currently on this planet are incapable of the kind of hunting described here since they don't need to live that way, BUT even if they were, the bear would still kill them. that trait is for running down prey animals into exhaustion. not for a lone person to escape from or kill a bear.

>>80667822
We've covered that a hundred posts ago mate.

>>80667751

I think there was something about grain being left out? Doctor Who explains.

If they were the sort of creature to hunt in packs that size, we'd be fucked.

>>80667811
Do you know how many weebs and neets own a katana and have studied the ancient art of anime Japanese culture?

>>80667796
Claws and teeth add some bonus, but not an excessive amount. There's a reason most black bears run from people; the average black bear weighs less than a person. You will beat a skinny one, but lose to the well fed large male.

>>80667813
They'll both probably die, but the Cobra will die first and thus lose.

>>80667813
Pretty stupid tho Tbh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tolJbFKJcQ0

Check this out, it doesn't have the kill but it kind of illustrates what I mean. I couldn't find a smaller bear, sorry.

It's the method of attack that's the problem for us. They hold on with their teeth as they claw repeatedly at weak points. It's almost impossible to get it's bite off of you. It locks on with the bite and then just rips away at whatever it's going for. A 50 lb bear doing that to your leg would be insane. I mean really think of that, even if you're fighting for your life, how the fuck do you get it off your leg before your leg is completely mangled?

Even if you get it off your leg, you're not standing on that leg. How did you do enough damage to the bear to immobilize it so that it doesn't maul you on the ground now? It just doesn't make sense.

A bear is an awful matchup for you. Just fucking terrible.

>>80667885
The average black bear is 250lbs, anon.

I'm not convinced I could beat another human in a fight nevermind a predator.

>>80667885
>>80667932
The average black bear is 250lbs

So less than the average american.

>>80667885

Not necessarily. It's not guaranteed the MMA guy will be able to catch the cobra, but it's almost a certainty the cobra will get off enough deadly venom in the fighter.

And that's like 1/23rd the size. I mean maybe I should pick a shorter, faster snake but eh, point remains.

>>80664621
Bear hunting is all fun and games until you accidentally cross a mother

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>>80667796
>razor
>razor
>razor

They're just fucking claws. They're only kinda sharp at the tip. They're not fucking razors. Yeah with enough force they'll cut you, but it's nothing like razors and any contact will slice you. I swear to god you're just preparing to drop the "lol only pretending.jpg" at the end of this thread. No one can be this fucking stupid reading all your posts.

>>80667932
>a literally heavier bear takes down a smaller animal

Woah. It's fucking nothing.

>>80667813
I would totally fuck up a king cobra.

>>80667811
>no military training
Many first world countries have mandatory service.
>no fights in school
post tits
>no martial arts, boxing or wrestling
Pussy.

>>80667998
That's in Alaska with plenty of food. The average female in more inhabited areas further south is lighter than most people, and a male will be about equal.

>>80668016
It's ok he's probably a furry and/or stephen colbert.

>>80665739
That is just wrong, Chad Johnson outran a horse and made it look as fast as molasses.

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>>80668021

One that wants to kill you as much as you want to kill it?

Fucking doubtful.

>>80668016

> They're just fucking claws. They're only kinda sharp at the tip.

Didn't realise you were a dryad anon.

Razor is obviously illustrative.

>>80668048
>Many first world countries have mandatory service.
Not the majority, google says 70 countries have some form of mandatory service and there are 195 countries in the world.

>>80668016
Those go into our skin very easily. You can't be this fucking stupid, you really can't. Those claws will go in your skin the second it grabs you.

I've seen them grab a deer (which has much tougher skin than you or I) and they go right in. Those claws are sharp man.

I don't think you've ever been in nature in your life. I think that's the problem here... that or you're just baiting. No way you believe a bear can't rip your fucking leg up faster than you can KO it. No one is that dumb. I hope not.

>>80666409
Arnie didn't hunt the predator tho, the predator was a complex being that had a plan that didn't pan out (shit happens all the time to humans) and dies for it. Bears don't plan, they just do, bears > predators

>>80667704
The thing is most people don't know how to fight an animal. A dog is going to latch on and use your weight against you.

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Not one of you faggots has acknowledged the real problem with small bears.

>>80668144

> But you said razor and obviously they aren't razors like you can't shave with a bear claw I mean that would just be stupid it's not like you're saying it would go through your skin as if it was a razor that would just make too much sense and me being right is predicated upon the universe not making any sense.

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>>80663412
>Great movie

>>80668189
I'd grab one of those little cunts and swing him around, knocking down the other bears

>>80668101
Were those done by a 50lbs bear? You realize I could dig similar marks with a blunt stone and I'm just a helpless human incapable of exerting any physical force. Those stones are fucking razors.

>>80668144
>a bear
>a deer

Was it a 50lbs bear?

You now realize you live in a world where people defend bears against people. Why don't you just root for people? I'm with human beings on this one. Ok.

>>80667999
You're still arguing edge cases and maybes. Generally body weight is king.

>>80668160
It only takes a little bit of knowledge to negate that though. The fact that loads of people don't know how to utilize their abilities doesn't negate my point. It doesn't take very long to get somewhat competent. A dog is certainly dangerous if it bites vital areas, but it's pretty vulnerable if you are proactive.

>>80667393
If they actually try to protect me by killing what tries to kill me then sure 1000 rats swarming the others maybe.
Only 11 to 1 though.

What are some bear kinos?
L'ours? Grizzly Man?

>>80667751
We feed them.

Rats eat a very large % of our food.

>>80663484

>I grew up in a comfy City with rich parents, but I played tons of video games so I'm pretty sure I could kill a bear

Kys

>>80667751
They end up eating each other when there is no food left and eventually starve

Reckon I'd fuck up a bear real good after a few drinks and a warm up

>>80668269

You realize bark isn't skin you fuckwit?

>>80668408
None of that is true my ideot friend. I am just confident in my abilities with my human body and my brain to defeat almost any animal. Especially giraffes.

>>80668456
Why'd you post bark then?

>>80668458
>Especially giraffes
tell me where the long necked animal touched you inappropriately

>>80668408
Why are you projecting though?

Havent seen this much autism in a single thread for quite some time.

>>80668382
The Edge

>>80668562
Welcome to the best thread on the Internet

>>80668562
Are you a bear? Because I would FUCK you up

>>80663625
lol white people

>>80667393
>by weight
bulls by a fucking mile > gators, another huge gap > grizzlies > wolves > gorillas > lions > falcons > rats

it depends on how they'll fight each other. my money's on the gator's if they'll somehow fight to death all together.

>>80668741
>gators

Jamie, pull up that video of a kid subduing an alligator with duct tape

>>80667690
>they are mice trying to kill you
Except mice, or any other rodents, do not attack humans. They will defends themselves only when pushed into corner with no escape. And rodents are experts on escape.

>>80667393
Only dangerous animals here are wolves and lions.

>>80668787
Out of those animals only gorillas have opposable thumbs. I think the gators will be safe from duct tape this time.

>>80668683
Pft, didn't even run that fast. Definately outrun that white bear.

>>80668741
I'd say gators win in water, and bulls on (flat) land. They're both fucking scary in their element.

>>80668916
If we go with things in their elemant I would kick any animals ass in suburbia

>>80666002
my horse once one-shotted a ram that we had. the ram was in his prime and she kicked him straight on his noggin and he just dropped down dead. horses arent to be messed with

>>80668948
I am way smarter than a ram and would never get behind a horse.

Finn here

Ive fought two bears and survived ho tell about it. First one I knocked out cold, the second one I put in a Royce Gracie style arm and leg lock until it tapped out.

>>80668976
>horse teleports behind you
>"Heh nothing personal"
>horse teleports in front of you
>"sorry kiddo"

>>80668948
horses are like 2000lbs retarded rats. really not to be messed with unless you're experience with handling them. someone just took his daughter randomly to see the horses at a stable here and she tried to pet one. the horse took the girls hand clean off at the wrist in one bite.

>>80663484
This. How the fuck could that manlet bear even hit me with his stubby arms? I'd drop him with one combo

>>80668947
You probably would. Just go up on the roof of a building and drop heavy shit on them.

>>80669148
finally some sense in this thread.

>>80669148
what are you doing to do about the falcons? the gorillas will probably get up on the roof the same way you did too.

This is currently the most succesful thread on /tv/ and possibly the most retarded. i love you guys.

>>80669271
Just sabotage a ladder so the gorillas fall when they try. Falcons can be defeated with a net.

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34KB, 345x293px

>>80668741
>>80667393

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231KB, 700x709px

Bear is love

>>80669363
you have really huge lions, really small bears and gorillas. and those are mice, not rats.

>>80669465
Dr. Zookeeper, I'm captive.

>tfw bear destroys your kayak

>>80669482
The bulls are pretty large too, and it's a pretty big guy.

>>80669482
I just took average sizes from wikipedia.
I don't know which type of bear it is.

>those are mice, not rats
ah

>>80666312
But even Arnold didn't stand a chance against the Predator in a bare knuckle fight. The Predator kicked his ass. He only won by luring the Predator into a trap. He could probably defeat a bear in a similar manner, but he couldn't beat one by fighting it.

>>80669363
The falcon wins if it can dive something and survive.

I don't know how many of those animals could survive a nearly 200km/h 1 kg object hitting them in the head/vitals and they're pretty much invincible until they attack anyway.

What about sharks? I could fuck up a whale shark. Probably not a great white but id take it out with a knife.

>>80669824
The falcons die if they kill something much larger from impact. Do you even Newtons third law?

Sheer size and weight is not the ultimate deciding factor. I didn't just say a 50lb bear cub, I specifically said "retarded". I could kill a brain damaged polar bear, but whats the fun in that. People are animals that kill things. You'd be surprised what a person can do.

>>80664487
Yeah Trump voters love some mancock in their ass

>>80665960
Ostriches can kill lions with one kick
Why are you so dumb?

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64KB, 389x458px

>>80669482

>>80668792
>he doesnt know about the recent spate of aggressive squirrel attacks

>>80669106
Gonna need proof, sport

>>80670017
That's why I mentioned if they could hit vitals like an artery somewhere.

>>80666442
Look at the old vids of Jay Leno with animals on his show.
They brought a baby bear one episode and it nearly fucking destroyed him

>>80666558
These autists dropped out of high school and think Breitbart is the last bastion of journalism.
They also masturbate to children and feet

>>80667542
You're not funny

>>80670521
I could fuck up Jay Leno in a heartbeat.

Okay threads dead everyone. I figure we all know that humans are better than bears and also 1000 mice. Time to move on with our lives.

>>80671403
>Time to move on with our lives
what lives?

>>80670773
Not if he jumps on you.

>>80671403
Time to go kill a bear.