Good evening everyone, my name is Rupert Pupkin.

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I was born in Clifton, New Jersey... which was not at that time a federal offense.

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Is there anyone here from Clifton? Oh, good. We can all relax now.

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I'd like to begin by saying... my parents were too poor to afford me a childhood.

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But the fact is that... no one is allowed to be too poor in Clifton. Once you fall below a certain level... they exile you to Passaic.

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My parents did put the first two down payments on my childhood. Don't get me wrong, but they did also return me to the hospital as defective.

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But, like everyone else I grew up in large part thanks to my mother. If she were only here today... I'd say, "Hey, ma, what are you doing here? You've been dead for nine years!"

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But seriously, you should've seen my mother. She was wonderful. Blonde, beautiful, intelligent, alcoholic. We used to drink milk together after school. Mine was homogenized. Hers was loaded. Once they picked her up for speeding. They clocked her doing 55. All right, but in our garage?

>we wuz kangz of comedy

Was it all a dream, /tv/?

>pedoshit gets hundreds of posts every time
>this thread gets fuck all

Fuck off, what a boring board.

>>80634261

This board is reddit now