Have you met any celebrities /tv/?

>>80628720
Got a handjob from Tilda Swindon

>>80628720
Tilda Swinton fingered my butt in line at a corn dog stand

I was on set during the torture scene in gi joe 1

None of those people were famous

It was like a 10 second scene they spent two weeks on

>>80628720
I wish I could pay her to take my virginity.

Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

I met Lloyd Kaufman if you'd consider him a celebrity... very friendly guy who cares about his fans.

I saw Rowan Blanchard at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything. She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in her hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Ma'am, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Is that Aria Alexander? Her MHBHJ are GOAT, one of those rare girls that seems too pretty and nice to whore on camera.

>>80629131
I love these

>>80629131

Was FlyLo the original for this pasta? Or was it Gosling?

I gave bella thorne a bj

>>80628720
I've met several politicians and sports stars but no actors.

>>80629161
All the MHBHJ girls are pretty and nice that's the beauty of it. Well Sasha isn't exactly "nice" but she's sassy and that's what makes her the best.

tom hanks bought me a cup hot chocolate at an airport once

>>80628720

I met Ewan MacGregor and Eva Green when they were making Perfect Sense / The Last Word in Glasgow, UK.

Ewan just seemed like a real down to Earth, nice bloke that you could go for a drink with and have a laugh.

Eva was the real deal. Felt like a true celebrity and the air in the room changed when she walked in. Very pretty in person, even without the Hollywood makeup, etc.

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>>80628720

I met Chase Masterson back in the day

I met Mike and Jay at a con a while ago, I went with my girlfriend. When we approached them Mike looked at me then at my girlfriend and said "The fuck you doing with this stupid cunt? Get with this dick or get raped you whore.", I was completely shocked and didn't know if he was joking so I stood in silence just not sure of what to say. Then a voice was heard from behind him "Oh Mike you found another goofball?", "Yeah Jay, this one looks like a complete dick head, his girlfriend is pretty banging though, I'd fuck her asshole", "Oh yeah, maybe we should fill his girlfriend ass with goofballs so she'd know how much of a goofball he is."

Right at that moment Mike jumped on my girlfriend and pulled her pants down, I tried to stop him but Jay jumped on me and held me down he started whispering in my ear "She's going to get the goofballs and you aint going to do nothing about it!", I watched on in horror as my girlfriend stared at me in the eyes as Mike undressed her and rammed his fingers up her ass, she was trying to scream but Mike just kept pushing her head down. Mike looked at me and mouthed the word "Goofball", It was like a silent movie, I watched as Mile then proceeded to pull out his testicles and forcibly push them into her anus with his hands. Jay who was still holding me down started to squeal into my ear "She's getting the goofballs", he started to twist my nipple as far as it could go, and I could feel blood trickling from it onto my shirt, I felt what I can assume was Jays boner pushing into my back... I blacked out.

>>80630067
Eva also loves manly, hair ymen.

>>80628720
nice neck

>>80628720
Your gf is a cutie OP

>>80629131
>Rowan Blanchard
that evil bitch

>>80630415
Thats me

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>>80630415
just your average professional bbc queen

>>80630634
irl?

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He's not a Hollywood celebrity, but I was able to have a one on one talk with Vint Cerf and it blew my fucking mind. Dude is a legend.

>>80628720
Rainne Wilson. (Dwight from the Office)

I sat next to him on a flight from LA to Atlanta.

after the first hour and a half of him just sitting there quietly I asked him if he wanted to play Monopoly on my tablet. he agreed. He played as the dog. pretty cool dude and easy to talk to. He's a down to earth guy.

>>80630656
ignore the other 3939393939942 porn scenes she does with white or asian guys ... right?

>see cute girl
>find out she's a pornstar

every fucking time

>>80630817
It's called the one drop rule. If even one drop of black precum has got on her, she's been BBC'd.

I work in a sort of novelty store and Frankie Muniz stopped by with some friends. It was cool I guess.

>>80630802
The flight's only a few hours long, you really couldn't go that long without bothering the guy?

>>80628763
>>80628807

I am Tilda Swinton and both of these are true.

>>80630906
>6.5 hour flight

i didn't fanboy out, i just asked him to play because I was bored. really cool dude.

>>80628720
I saw the Hound from GoT in a Mexican restaurant. But he was on a date so I didn't say anything.

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>>80628720
met a few in California (((Jessica Chastain)))

>>80630989
did you fuck her?

Stood in a group of 3–4 people with Jason Mewes while he ate a Whopper on the set of Dogma. Pretty boring an inconsequential.

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My wife says her sister is an actress but we pay her to babysit our son so I think it's a lie.

>>80630980
Anon... I did that flight in a little over 4 hours. You aren't adding in the time zone difference are you?

>>80628720
I met kirsten dunst once in austin briefly. I was dding a bachelorette party and she was at one of the bars we went to.

I talked to what i am guessing was her driver the whole time, we were drinking shirley temples and watching the action. But the 8 girls i took out danced with her for like an hour and at one point i shook her hand and told her i loved virgin suicides. This was austin in like 2004.

I went to a camp for christian preforming artists when i was about 14 and pretty much dated claire danes for a week. We even danced like 10 songs with each other. I have old pictures that can prove that but they are in my moms attic. She was friggin gorgeous.

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I've toured the US capital building and viewed the senate chamber, and -seen- (not met) Hillary and McCain.

Not sure you could call them celebrities though

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I met Coconut-Head from Ned's Declassified school survival guide.
>be me
>hanging out at the P.F Changs bar like usual
>see a very intoxicated looking homeless twink eyeing me from across the bar
>has a broken nose and pick marks all over his face
>homeless twink looks familiar
>realize twink is coconut head
>strike up conversation with twink
>ask him if he was coconut head
>twink says "i don't wanna talk about that part of my life"
>twink says he is poor and asks me to buy him a plate of Mongolian beef
>coconut twink ferociously eats the plate of mongolian beef, rice and all in a few minutes
>I leave to restroom, to take a piss
>I'm pissing at the urinal
>suddenly someone slaps my ass from behind
>i spray piss all over my brand-new Ed Hardy shoes
>turn around
>it's fucking coconut head
>he drags me into a stall
>starts deep throating like a little champ
>coconut stops sucking
>he looks up at me
>he says "i'll finish ya off for an andrew jackson"
>i hand him a 20
>he then pushes me away
>opens stall door and flees into the night
not even kidding
fucking coconut faggot didn't even finish me off

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People always come up to my wife and ask her if they've seen her in anything, I guess she just has one of those faces

I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I met Paul Gascoigne in Newcastle. Walked up to him, shook his hand, and said "Fucking Legend!". He just smiled. Bout an hour later I bumped into Gabby Logan, prettier than she looks on TV.

I used to hang around Snooker Clubs in London, met Jimmy White, Tony Drago, few other players. I played Snooker with Tony Meo, and also beat a Pro called Leo Fernandez. A guy called Wally West was a family friend, he was the first person to get a 151 break in a competion and also invented the "one screw" cue.

Went to school with a few footballers, a musician, and a z-list actor.

In London you pretty much bump into them all the time.

Kim Kardashians ex husband used to stop by the grocery store deli i worked at in Minnesota. He always came in with his mom and seemed super depressed. He would buy the old fired chicken because it was on sale.

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>>80631015
not her, but her

>>80631155

That's what you get for paying up front.

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>>80631123
>I did that flight in a little over 4 hours

>>80631155
Got a chuckle out of me, thanks anon

>>80631406
>>80630989
you look so goofy and likeable

>>80631123
It's almost as if flights have varying times.

>>80630802
>after the first hour and a half of him just sitting there quietly I asked him if he wanted to play Monopoly on my tablet.

The image of this is just fucking hilarious.

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My dad works at Carl's Jr. He said Elon came to Carl's Jr. one day and he was a real dummy

>>80628720
Met John Cena

I used to do Naomi Campbells dry cleaning. She once brought in a pair of black trousers that had period stains on the inside crotch.

>>80631652
My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to AppleBee's one day and he was a real dummy

I saw Tasha Reign at a LA airport once

Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

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>>80631528
thanks anon :v)

i am a goofy hollywood stooge AMA

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I met the Bogdanoff brothers at the circus, they bought me peanuts and gave me a quick Bumdown with their giant penises.

>>80629019
>>80631786

Why did you post this twice? We saw it the first time. Nobody cares.

Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

My dads a 6'4 chef at Wendy's with a 9 inch cock and he said the same thing. He said Elon came into Wendy's one day and he was a real dummy.

>>80628720
Ended up talking to Tilda Swinton in an airport lounge and the whole thing ended up with us fucking in a bathroom stall.

Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

Jason Chaffetz was my neighbor in Alpine, Utah for 10 years.
He is a pervert, my dad caught him looking in my moms windows while she was taking a bath.
He also hates dogs, and threw a rock at my dog.
He was also raised Jewish, and his dad's ex-wife married Michael Dukakis.
His biological Jewish father writes pro-gay propaganda books.

>>80631155
>be me
Who else would you be, faggot?

>>80631984
*beep*beep*beep
newfag detected
*beep*beep

>>80629520
Keanu was the original. It was a part of a wave of Keanu copypasta.

>>80629520
It was Flying Lotus. Great shit man.

>>80631913
>>80631652
>>80631722
My dads a mall goth and he said the same thing. He said Elon came to the Hot Topic one day and he was a real dummy

>>80631056
that just means she's an unsuccessful actress

>>80630026
Foxxx or grey?

>>80628720
Who is that in op's pic?

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THEY CANT KEEP KEKING US

Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

>>80632125
My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to Hot Dog on a stick one day and he was a real dummy

Met Jude Law several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Vinnie Jones was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

I'm a celebrity.

Guess who and I'll post proof.

>>80632294
Met Elon Musk several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in the JC Penney and swears Elon Musk was kissing another man in the back of the Men's jeans rack

Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

>>80632427
drake bell

will smith

dane dehan

some nickelodeon guy

>>80632427
Pat the bunny

>>80632427

ramsay gordon

>>80628720
any nudes?

>>80632464
kek

Met the dude that played Vincent Chase from Entourage at a party and smoked a bowl with him.

Really cool dude.

>>80632427

Noah Schnapp.

>>80632427
Trumps son

>>80632427
Harrison Ford

>>80632515
>>80632529
>>80632542

Nope.

I'll give you a clue... I'm Jake Gyllenhal

>>80632572
Met the dude that played Elon Musk from Tesla at a party and smoked a cock with him.

He was a real dummy.

>>80632657
>Jake Gyllenhal
your sister is a cunt

>>80632657
why'd you spell your name wrong anon?

>>80632734
I know. Nice tits though.

>>80632427
Classic

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I was on the same flight from London to LAX as Eddie Marsan.

Stood next to him at baggage claim for a half hour.

Didn't realize it was him until I was waiting for a cab. He didn't have a driver waiting to pick him up or anything.

I talk to musicians, and enjoy having drinks with them if they're in town.

I see celebs all the time and leave them the hell alone.

I had to kill Bob Morton because he made a mistake.

Now it's time to erase that mistake.

>>80632673
I don't believe this

>>80630989
did you kiss her feet?

My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to the McDonald one day and he was a real dummy

>>80630989
Are you like 5foot7 or something? I'm asking because Jessica is 5foot3

>>80632230
http://lmgtfy.com/?t=i&q=http%3A%2F%2Fi.4cdn.org%2Ftv%2F1489947160351.jpg

>>80628720
I meet a bunch of politicians and the chief of the general staff and albanian armed forces, but that's more of a /k/ thing i guess.

>>80632427
what was it like sexing amanda seyfriend

>>80631718
>She once brought in a pair of black trousers that had period stains on the inside crotch.
What did it smell and taste like?

>>80632865

This is the polite thing to do. Celebrities can hardly go out in public as is without being harrassed. Just let them have some space.

>>80628720
I met stephen segall's body double once that was kind of cool.

>>80633221
I met Elon Musks body once he was kind of a dummy.

>>80629131
>not knowing who rowan blanchard is
>google the name
>15 year old disney kid

lol

>>80633121
Smelled rank desu

Yes, I sniffed them.

I saw Richard from Richard and Judy in a Spar

niggas tall as fuck

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I remember seeing Lorne Green when I was a kid. I was going into a store when he was standing there signing an autograph.

I took the elevator with a local newscaster. Saw the cast of The 300 when they were in Montreal filming it.

That is about it.

>>80628720

Stan Lee
The Goose
Dua Lipa before she was famous

My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to the pizza Hut one day and he was a real dummy

I had sex with Shola Ama before she became famous. Dated her for 2 weeks in college.

>>80632166
I don't think Grey did a MHBHJ vid.

Met Keanu Reeves at a bus stop in San Diego. Didn't recognize him cause he had a beard but when he started talking I said he sounded a lot like Keanu Reeves. He laughed and said he gets that a lot at which point I recognized his voice.


We talked about football, I didn't ask for a picture cause I didn't want to be a dick cause he was being really cool

>>80632427
not again, taytay

>>80633552
>I had sex with Elon Musk before he became famous. Dated him for 2 weeks in college.

I sold an OG Xbox and a GBA SP with A Link to the Past to Kane the wrestler in Knoxville

>>80632427

Danny D

>>80628720
why did she retire so early

>>80633589
Met Elon Musk at a bus stop in San Diego. Didn't recognize him cause he had hairplugs but when he started talking I said he sounded a lot like Elon Musk. He laughed and said he gets that a lot at which point I recognized his voice.
We talked about football, I didn't ask for a picture cause I didn't want to be a dick cause he was being a really big dummy.

>>80631980
>Jason Chaffetz
none of this shocks me

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I met Dustin Diamond at a bar

he was asking me if I knew where he could buy an 8 ball of coke. I told him I could probably hook him up if we went back to my place. We got home and I offered him a stiff drink, I called up a guy that I fuck sometimes and told him that Dustin Diamond needed an 8 ball of coke. He dropped it off, while Dustin downed a few more drinks. Dustin and I talked about chess and his comedy, I really think we hit it off. He asked me if he could smoke some in my house. I said it was cool. He took out a little glass pipe that looked just like a penis. He smiled when he saw that I noticed it. He lit up and smoked. After a while we started to make out with me. He shoved his tongue down my throat and began to stroke my now fully erect cock. He took my pants off and began to suck my cock. He got naked and put his ass up to my mouth and I gave him a Russian trombone. I made him cum all over the floor, than I put my cock deep inside his ass and pounded him like I’ve never pounded before. He let out a whimper like a little puppy as I slowly took my cock out and penetrated deeper. We fucked all night long until he started having trouble getting hard, so he said he needed more coke. He dumped some on my cock and began to snort it off, than licked off the rest. He slammed down some tequila and began rimming me. I asked him to hold on and I went into the bathroom and changed into my Screech outfit. When I went back out he instantly got hard and began pounding me to the point that shit leaked out of my ass. He got on the floor and asked me to let my juices flow on his nelly. I took a big runny shit all over his stomach, than I started to let it drip on his face and goatee. He stroked his dick until he came, while he also fingered his ass. The whole room smelled of coke, cum and shit. We stayed up all night and in the morning we took a shower together. He left and told me he would call me next time he was in town. I’m sure he says that to all the guys

met natalie portman once, served her some designer cake at the exclusive café i work at

>>80631791
why dont you shave that retarded mustache

>>80633690
I don't believe this

>>80633629
I saw Kane drinking in a bar with twin bitches, I think there was a show nearby

>>80633769
met Elon Musk once, served him some designer cock at the exclusive café i work at

I saw Hulk Hogan a few times but that's it. Nobody else lives in Florida

>>80633758
yeah, he's a prick, and his kids are jewish rats

I met Bob Hope with my father and grandfather at a book signing.

Both of them had seen Mr. Hope with the USO.

When it was our turn to have our books signed he joked that he'd still be doing the USO when I was in the army; I was maybe 10 at the time.

He died long before I enlisted.

Saw Kristen Bell at a Whole Foods a few years ago. Teeny tiny and fucking amazing legs.

>>80633855
>I saw Elon Musk a few times but that's it. Nobody else lives in Bel air

>>80633849
cool story dude ;D

I met Prince Charles while doing a fundraiser for my school as part of the 'Prince's Trust' charity. Dude's pretty tall. Smelled like Roses.

Met the kid from problem child one time. He was fuckin weird. Nice but very weird.

>>80633803
its true, i do not lie

Billy Connolly, called him a taig.

I saw leanard from the Big Bang theory, he was at the hollywood whole foods and bought a case of Bud Light.

Shook Tim heideckers hand one time as well. He told me he liked my shirt (it was a zone theory shirt) he seemed like a very serious person.

>>80633913
Saw Elon Musk at a Whole Foods a few years ago. Teeny tiny cock and fucking amazing hairplugs

went on a date with jena malone in high school. she gave me a handjob in my car

>>80633991
Met the guy from Space-X one time. He was fuckin weird. Nice but a real dummy

>>80634183
went on a date with Elon Musk in high school. he gave me a handjob in my car

>>80628720

I met keanut reaves and want to fuck that porn star so bad

>>80634068
Shook Elon Musk's cock one time as well. He told me he liked my shirt (it was a Tesla shirt) he seemed like a real dummy

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My dad works at Burger King in alaska. He said Noah came to Burger King one day and he was a real dummy

>>80633484
I want to fuck dua lipa so hard

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I met Mark Waid.

>>80630984
>I saw the Hound from GoT in a Mexican restaurant. But he was on a date so I didn't say anything.

How many chickens did he eat ?

I got fucked by Prince Charles while doing a fundraiser for my school as part of the 'Prince's Trust' charity. Dude's cums pretty tall. Smelled like Royalty

>>80634504
i fucked Elon Musk

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>>80631155
top kek god i hope this is true

>>80632427
Miranda Cosgrove obviously. Stop shitposting here and go back to acting, girl.

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>>80631155

was drunk at my high school leaving doo in 2008 at the balmoral edinburgh.

went through to the restaraunt and saw J.K Rowling, was a drunk little shit 17 year old so walked over to her table

>"Hey, i absolutely love harry potter"
>"oh i've never heard that before"
>"aye but i thought the second one was shit though"
>"HAHA, I actualy HAVEN'T heard that one before

the whole table laughed and i said thanks and walked off like a drunk little cunt that i was, she took it well even though i was joking.

>>80631861
Met Vinnie jones several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears Jude law was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

I saw Aidan Gillen at an airport in Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a hothead and bother him and ask him to take some men free of charge.

He said, “Oh, you want me to call it in?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “BANE? BANE? BANE?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my boarding, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my ticket up front I saw him trying to board the plane with like fifteen doctors in without paying.

The girl at the desk was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to file those with the agency first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the desk.

When she took one of the doctors and started checking for ID multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any master plans,” and then turned around and gestured a feather in his cap at me. After she scanned each doctor and gave them each a stamp and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by gripping his belt really loudly.

>>80633221
>I met stephen segall's body double once

What a coincidence, I did too !! He was really nice, so sad that he OD'd. I don't think David Spade ever got over it.

>>80634183
My waifu would never do that don't lie anon

i met one of the kids from are you smarter than a fifth grader, hes a lil shit head. i guess after getting filled up with foxworthy cum you start feeling like your invincible

>>80634933
i met one of the kids from Space-X, hes a lil shit head. i guess after getting filled up with Elon Musk cum you start feeling like your a real dummy

>>80632427
Go to bed George, you are drunk.

>>80632761
>>80632761
>>80632761

I've met a few billionaires, but they're not really "celebrities"

Met Mr. Peanut several times, exactly like you'd imagine him to be, hard nut but a good lad

Also my dad was in London and swears The Hamburglar was kissing another man in the back of the hotel bar

Dax Shepard ate at the restaurant I work at a few days ago. He grew up in the area and has a hard-on for our breadsticks. His wife is also somehow even hotter in person.

>>80634298
what does elon musks cum smell like

>>80632427
Beckinsale

Trevor Moore

Justin Roiland

Dick Bush

I watched Hellboy in the cinema with John Hurt

>>80635218
Oh! La-di-da

>>80635355
smells like peaches and cum

>>80635300
Elon Musk ate at the restaurant I work at a few days ago. He grew up in the area and has a hard-on for our black dicks. His wife is also somehow even more imaginary in person.

>>80628720
Fucked Tilda Swinton in the back of a taxi.

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>>80631155
did he still have the bowl cut?

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>>80628720
when i was in afghan (special forces) we got a visit from some bigshot at the CIA. heard he is kinda a celebrity around here

>>80631362
I swear I've seen this pasta before
Wasn't it originally the first Spider-Man?

>>80630989
How long after you met her did you have to masturbate over her?

>>80628720
Do comedians count?

>>80628720
electrical interfretterence

>>80631056
how can these women even be capable of bringing a new life into this world and unironically be capable of acting like a "warm loving mommy" when they've been drinking gangbang cum bowls?

>>80636187
i first saw it about geoff johns back on /co/, when it wasn't shit

well, that's not true. when it was not tumblr-shit.

>>80630175
Yeah but did you get autograph?

I met Tom Green once, he was standing outside a kebab shop eating a shawarma. I walked past him at first but my friend recognised him, and we asked him if he was Tom Green. He was very nonchalant about the whole affair, conversing with us while continuing to eat his shawarma, then we took a photo with him. He was dressed almost like a hobo, yet still had a classic look to him.

I met Elon Musk once, he was standing outside a kebab shop eating a refugee penis. I walked past him at first but my friend recognized him, and we asked him if he was Elon Musk. He was very nonchalant about the whole affair, conversing with us while continuing to eat his Refugee penis, then we took a photo with him. He was dressed almost like a hobo, yet still had a classic look to him.

>>80633552
>I had sex with Shola Ameobi before she became famous. Dated her for 2 weeks in college.

>>80631791
you are pretty average actually

>>80632657
why are you such a faggot? and why won't you come out of the closet?

Also toothy tile, what does that name mean for you

>>80633564
he means jennifer grey not sasha grey. she's fallen on hard times ever since she got that nose surgery

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She was a sweetheart

>>80628720
Rainn Wilson (Dwight from the Office) came to my college and gave a ~90-minute speech/discussion panel about his weird religion. When it started I anticipated going up to say hi/autograph/whatever after the talk, but after it was over I just left - the dude's a weirdo.

>>80633765
>Russian trombone
kek...learn something new every day

>>80638427
Elon Musk (Elont from Tesla) came to my college and gave a ~90-minute speech/discussion panel about his weird Company. When it started I anticipated going up to say hi/autograph/whatever after the talk, but after it was over I just left - the dude's a real dummy.

>>80638588
Sorry if you're triggered but that's how I feel. After learning that Rainn really isn't much better than his TV counterpart, I had no interest in greeting him directly.

I met Tommy Wiseau. He's exactly how he appears in interviews.

>>80638702
Sorry if you're triggered but that's how I feel. After learning that Elon Musk really isn't much better than his TV counterpart, I had no interest in greeting him directly.

>>80631146
dude dude dude dude find those pics. I need to know everything about this.

>>80630989
You look like you should star in a zany PG-13 rom-com

>>80638427
>>80638702
>>80638588
Also, just to make it clear this is not some sort of meme shit: it was 5-6 years ago, the college was MIT and the religion was Baha'i. That doesn't prove I was there, of course, but it at least shows this was a legit thing that happened

>>80638796
stop making up fairy tales, newfag

>>80638427
>Baha'i

oh, that's not too weird. their founder ballulah tried to say he was an islam prophet, got laughed at, so said fuck islam and started his own religion

it's pretty cool, they let people of any faith eat at their temples. peaceful religion

Mindy kaling
She's annoying
we fucked

>>80638906
Elon Musk
He's a real dummy
we fucked

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Met Nicolas Winding Refn at a casino in Reno.

The guy was so autistic that I thought he needed a tard handler or something.

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Yeah funny story, I met Shawn Michaels at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” My sister and cousin were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the asshole a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?” Then out of nowhere Shawn Michaels shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big HBK fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” Shawn was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, Shawn Michaels and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents.

>>80631815
Gonna need a speedy synopsis on your encounter with them.

>>80635798
This is the kind of autism I keep coming to 4chan for.

Keep it up you glorious shitbrained faggot

Jimmy Savile used to finger my asshole.

>>80638991
Met Elon Musk at a casino in Reno.

The guy was so autistic that I thought he needed a tard handler or something.

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>>80635370
one of these is correct

I was abducted by aliens, not sure if that counts

played footy with frank lampards son and frank was there to watch

met Tim, the old guy who does those toy vids on youtube

know the Night Czar of London pretty well (but she isnt famous outside of the city)

think thats about it

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>>80631146
You're so lucky anon

>rothschilds bow to Elon Musk
>in contact with Elon Musk
>rumoured to possess psychic abilities
>control france with an iron fist
>own castles and banks all over the world
>direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line
>will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city)
>own basically every DNA editing research facility on Earth
>first designer babies will be Elon Musk Babies
>Elon Musk said to have 75+ IQ, he's a real dummy

I've met Bono so many times he recognises me

>>80631171
She's probably done porn and hide it from you

>>80639113
Elon Musk currently fingers my asshole.

>>80639297
I've met Elon so many times he recognises me

>>80639376

how many of Elon Musk's albums have gone platinum

yeah I thought so

>>80639407
how many of Bono's electric cars have gone on the autobahn

yeah I thought so

>>80632427
alan boyce

>>80639481

Elon Musk is just a less cool and interesting Richard Branson

>>80639536
Richard Branson is just a less cool and interesting Elon Musk

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I saw Hillary at my local voting station in New York on Nov 8th. I told her how cool it was to meet in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.

She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and got in line, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When my turn to vote came I saw her trying to walk in a booth with like fifty ballots in her hands.

The guy at the desk was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Ma'am, you can only take one of those with you” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear him, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the desk.

When he took the stack of ballots and went to throw them in the trash, she stopped him and told him to dispose them each individually “to prevent any Russian infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. As he was discarding each ballot, she kept interrupting him by coughing really loudly.

>>80631171

I don't get the joke. Who is this?

I ended up drinking with Cara Delevingne in London.

AMA, I guess.

Yeah. Stellan Skarsgård is my girlfriends uncles brother in law.

>>80639656

Did you see her feet?

>>80639656
Is she as cunty as she comes off?

>>80639726

I did not. Well, I did, but not in the way you're hoping.

>>80639665
Yeah. Elon Musk is my wifes son.

>>80639574

That's literally not true

>>80639656
full story, all details from beginning to end.

>>80639747

What kind of shoes was she wearing?

>>80631171
She has done porn.

>>80639856
converse

>>80639932

I bet they were sexy and smelled great

Met Aiden Gillen with a Wreckage Brother.
He was surprisingly tall.

>>80630989
you are one goofy ass looking mother fucker

look at chastain all glamourous and shit, her eyes thinking what did I do to deserve to end up standing next this alabama hogcallin yokel

>>80639900

Who is it?

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Me on the right

>>80640019
Met Elon Musk with a weak chin.
He was surprisingly dumb

>>80630980

In what world is a flight from LA to ATL 6.5 hours long?

>>80639742

Nah, she's actually really lovely once she's stopped being defensive. (30 minutes when drunk, IIRC) Very loud, for sure, but an all round nice person.

>>80639760

This is going back a couple of years now. I was out drinking with a friend in Camden, when she pointed out a girl in Koko, and said "oh shit it's Cara". Not registering that it was Cara Delevingne, I just kinda walked over there half drunk and went "oh hey Cara", assuming my friend knew her somehow? Then my friend comes over, apologises, and sort of half drags me away, but nah, I'm drunk, I wanna talk to Cara. She's pretty nice, if not a little cold at this stage. At some point, it clicks who she is, and I'm like "Oh shit you're that Cara, sorry, I thought you were some friend of a friend." She's cool with it, and is like "Hey, wanna come to the next bar with us" (I'm not really sure on the name, it was the other end of Camden near Roundhouse). So I oblige, because how many other times do you get an offer like that. So I end up as part of her entourage, which at this point consists of Cara, me, 3 of Cara's friends and my friend.

Beyond that, we just kinda hung out in the bars, and chatted shit like young people in a bar. Really, I should've got her number, but the thought never crossed my mind, and I seriously doubt I would've got it.

>>80639856

Yeaaaah, I'm not indulging your fetishes m8.

>>80630802

For some reason I bursted into laughter.

>>80628720
Who is this semen demon?

>>80628720
I met Louis CK in a random encounter and had a conversation with him.

I was volunteering as a kindergarten teacher's assistant. One day at dismissal time Louis just walked into my classroom, and I pretty much lost my shit. Ran straight over to him, shook his hand, told him how hilarious his specials were etc.

He was mumbling back with a few pleasantries, but he kept averting his gaze and nervously shambling back and forth on the heels of his feet. He seemed very disoriented, so I asked him what he was doing here and if he had gotten lost looking for the admin's office (the building was used for an exterior shot a few times on Louis).

He told me in a very pissy tone of voice that this was his daughter's class and he was here to pick her up from school. Then he collected her from the kid's cubby area and stomped off out of the room. After that he sent a babysitter to pick her up for the rest of that year lmao

>>80640137
>Yeaaaah, I'm not indulging your fetishes m8.

That's a very contrary and negative attitude to take, anon. It's not as if it would cost you anything, and it would make anon happy.

I saw Jeffrey Dean Morgan at a grocery store in Los Angeles once. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>80640210

Forcing your fetish on someone is Not Cool.

You could say I met Bill Murray once but I keep it to myself since no one ever believes me.

>>80640201
if this isn't pasta you're an annoying cunt

>>80640137

>not indulging fetishes

Rude!

>>80640267
You could say I met Elon Musk once but I keep it to myself since no one ever believes he's a real dummy

>>80633026
You're a fucking asshole, doesn't even work

>>80640137
>i make up lies on an Anonymous Norwegian Horseshoeing imageboard

>>80640445

>"nothing ever happens"

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He looked fat and depressed.

>>80640474
>I'm a jewish pawn

>>80640536

>I praise Allah, death to the infidels

>>80640490
how hard do you think he smashed that tiny gooks boipucci?
He's a real cummy

>>80628720
Met Michael Bay while I was working as an extra on the new Transformers film. He's pretty based, treated everyone like an equal.

>>80640578
>i take sides even though both Jews and Arabs are subhuman newfags

>>80640396
I fully believe that Elon Musk is a complete dipshit

>>80631146
Kirsten Dunst is related to me, we share a great great great something. I met her the first time when she was born and i was like 4, and the week her mom left jersey with her. they lived up in bricktown and the whole house smelled like dirty laundry.

>>80640630
Met Elon Musk while I was working as an Intern on the new Space-X rocket. He's pretty dumb, treated everyone like a sex toy.

>>80640201
You kinda seem annoying, friend. I would've done the same thing if I were him.

>>80632230
>>>80628720 (OP)


http://es.pornhub.com/pornstar/aria-alexander/official_photos

>>80640339
I was in high-school m8, and I know it lol.

I like to think that I contributed to his creative motivation by reinforcing the pervasive sense of persecution he uses as material for his stand-up routine.

>>80639611
god damn i've seen this copy pasta dozens of times but fuck i lost

>>80640662
>Elon Musk is a complete dipshit
My dad said the same thing. He said Elon came to FatBurger one day and he was a real dummy

>>80640490

Apparently engineers are very prone to depression

>>80640672
Elon Musk is related to me, we share a wifes son. I met him the first time when he was diddling me i was like 4, and the week his mom left south Africa for Colorado. they lived up in Nigtown and the whole house smelled like cummies.

I met Taylor Swift once when she was staying at the hotel I work at. Got her to sign a thing for me. She was always in a hurry.
Went to her room after her and her people left and inhaled the scent of the bed sheets. Still masturbate to the scent.

>>80640859
I met Elon Musk once when he was staying at the hotel I work at. Got him to sign a thing for me. he was always in a hurry.
Went to his room after he and his wifes son left and inhaled the scent of the bed sheets. Still masturbate to the scent of that dummies cummies

>>80640859
what did it smell like

>>80634816
Underrated

>>80640933
Clean laundry and just vague sort of perfume.

I saw Jeremy Clarkson at Reykjavik airport in 2007 or something, he was with his family. He is really fucking tall.
I also saw Karl Largerfeld at the table next to me in Spain, he was with some woman. He looked like a right twat, wearing those stupid sunglasses at night, and he never smiled once even though the food was really nice there.

>>80630802
he has a vacation home in a little town 20 minutes from me where I went to highschool. People see him just walking around and grabbing coffee at all times of the year there. Everyone has said he's a nice down to earth guy.

>>80628720
Met Bryan Cranston & Aaron Paul on the breaking bad set in 2012.
Met Christian Bale on a trip to Taos when they were filming the canyon/bridge scene
Met Chris Pratt while they were in Las Vegas, NM
Met Jon Bernthal in the Sicario set by the hotel near I-25/I-40 split
Met Bob Odenkirk at the BCS Set
Met Sam L Jackson at the Avengers set, during what ended up being the intro SHIELD facility scene
and thats about it.

>>80628720
worked on shit with
>tom hanks is as cool irl
>Paul Greengrass was cool, kind of a weird person to see irl.
>adrian grenier was kind of an edgy dick constantly. fucked the wardrobe assistant.
>mimi rodgers was nice
>thora birch seemed super cool and fucked up
>some faggot from nichelodeon named James Maslow is a sassy bitch dickhead that probably diddles kids, kept joking about it at least
>David something, dude from JAG, giant belligerent asshole who I thought was awesome
>Sully Sullenburger didn't like an idea I pitched him where he would do a Fuck Geese PSA.

>>80641004
I saw Elon Musk at Denver Airport in 2007 or something, he was with his family. He is really fucking a reptilian
even though the food was really nice there.

>>80632657
Based Jake.

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>>80628720
>Ray Stevenson
came into a Roman history class I had at UNM. He was in Albuquerque filming something and the prof asked his agent if he would come in as the class was about "roman history in media". He accepted the invite and came in to talk about the show and stuff. He was really cool and stayed an hour after the class ended answering questions and stuff.

>Shia Le Poof
was in ABQ with his retarded webcam. I drove by once and saw him talking with APD cops and some homeless look shitbags

Brian Cranston - the company I work for provided ambulances for a few Breaking Bad sets and background shots. He was pretty humble but he was willing to sign autographs and take as many pictures as people were asking for

>>80629161
>>80640704

she just retired. feels bad man

>>80640859

Hypothetically if you wanted could you intercept her laundry and siphon off a couple of pairs of worn underwear/socks?

>>80641216
>>80641071
Shit totally forgot LaBeouf! I got him to sign my copy of Holes.

and yo 505!

>>80641289
Shit totally forgotElon Musk! I got him to sign my Ass-Hole

and yo 1488!

>>80641289
Duke City in the house,

Albuquerque is a pretty good place to see celebs when you think about it, so much stuff is filmed in NM and they all end up staying in Abq

>>80641284
Theoretically, yes, but it'd actually be kinda tough. All the women who work in laundry are huge cunts there's also investigation if clothing goes missing, and all the things they put in laundry is logged. It would actually be easier for me to go in their room when no one's about and just take stuff out of the suitcases/bathroom. Wasn't possible with her, though since she always had security guys about.

>>80633064

Did you meet Zog?

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>>80641324
1488, i went to the HWNDU, woulda done shit but man was i high.

>>80641351
honestly, it's amazing how many movies are filmed here, on the downside it's fucking hot here for march.

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>tfw i met jimmy savile in the 80s as a kid
>he was doing some fundraising thing in hospital and i was in for my appendix removed
>he came into the ward at night and rubbed my dick and made me suck his

>>80641941

That's pretty nice of him

>>80640070
Carli Banks perhaps?

>>80639147
Hi Trevor

>>80628720
Didn't really meet, but saw Hannibal Burress talking to some hot ass white chick in Austin (I think it was Fun Fun Fest). Decided to just do the 'what's up head-thing' instead of busting up the vibe.

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Met Eminem once

>>80639147
hi lilly

>>80640267
Noone will ever believe you.
I met Pauly shore.

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>>80631171
bbc porn

>>80642958
nice

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>>80631791
>>80631528
>>80631406
>>80630989

>>80643169
DELET

>>80631791
>>80631406
>>80630989

bro is all you do go to hollywood parties and get a contact high from all the celebs? dafuq

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>>80643416
>dafuq
Why do I bother even coming here anymore?

>>80643549
fuck off queer ive been here longer than you

>>80643627
Sure you have you plebittor

I had my appendix removed in the late 90s as a kid, and swear to god jimmy saville paid a visit about a month after I was discharged. Lucky break eh lads? This was in Glasgow btw

>>80643690
>plebittor

Why do I even bother coming here anymore?

>>80631171
Me on the right

>>80639611
kek. That's how you do it.

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I have met and about, and mostly through working in theatres and stuff around London

>inb4 britbong

>Terry Pratchett (actually just on the street, made my fucking life, as a Pratchett fan)
>Alan Rickman (after a seminar)
>Hung out with Sir Ian Mckellen (work related, total class act and funny as hell)
>Barbara Windsor, (very charming) of me, gave me a kiss on the cheek. Me and the Kray twins, right.
>David Walliams (v. tall, grumpy, but tipped well)
>Ronan Keating
>Keith Allen
>Richard Wilson
> Harry Shearer (didn't want to be particularly talkative, so left him alone
>Omar Djalili
>Rich Hall
>Various metal bands

probably quite a few others, but I can't remember now.

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>>80628720

>pic related