Sell me this pen.

it's a pretty big pen

Buy this pen or the climate changes

I'll shove this pen down my urethra unless you buy it

>>80601036
It's a pretty good pen. Although I think you can buy those at any regular store that sells pens. Please buy it from me.

>>80601036
Holy shit I was thinking on making this exact thread today

>>80601476
You both have shit ideas

Jonah will gain back the weight again if you don't buy it.

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Sell me this Academy Award.

>>80601135
for you

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>>80601036
ONE BATCH

See this pen? It's a great pen, we make really great pens. The best. The best. These pens are best in the world. We used to make pens like these, the best pens the very best, but now China is making all the pens. Nobody can get pen like this any more. They just don't make em any more folks. Except this one pen. There's one left of the best pen. Very good pen. The best. The best pen. It writes so smooth and the ink never stops. It's beautiful. All the pens used to be like this but not any more folks. Not any more. We have to start making pens again and make America write again.

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>>80601036
>Sell me this Penn

>>80602114

alright now this is how it's done

"sell me this pen" is such a shit meme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgCxt5gfaqw

you want this pen? you cant have it. its my pen. ahhhhhhhhh fuck im fucking cumming. my name is leonardo dicaprio and im cumming from my dick

>>80601036
I shit you not, this was the literal job interview for my Vp of sales gig

Write your name.
Need a pen?
Here, that'll be 1 dollar.
Paper cost extra

>>80601036
Sure thing. Want to see a magic trick?

It's not for sale.

>>80602114
Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.

Supply and demand, brother

>>80602556
Thats a retarded interview question for a high level posish

>>80603028
>high level
VP of sales is not like a regular VP. Everyone in sales gets a fancy title because they are professional bullshitters

>>80601476
Holy shit that's crazy wazy dudette

>>80601036
Sell me this vape pen
>puts on MGMT

>>80601036
Shiny pen make dong big for ladies.

>>80602556
Alright. Now how did you answer it?

>>80605874
iirc the right "answer" is that you're supposed to start asking them a shitload of questions about themselves and their pen needs to show how a good salesman gathers information about their client base before selling to them

The "correct" response for this question is ridiculous. I understand the concept (invent demand when it's not really there) but if someone says "buy this pen for a dollar" Amy smart person would respond "nigga let me borrow your own for a second"

>>80601476
HIVEMIND

The obvious answer is simple. This pen right here nigga, can be used as a writing utensil and a slim portable dildo. Great for anyone going on a long trip.

>>80601036
"No!"

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>>80602684
>tfw he actually said this

>>80603028
>>80603384

That's somewhat true. Vp isn't like CFO but it's a 6 figure base, and yes that guy in the YouTube link earlier is who they're "looking for"

>>80605874
>>80605998
Basically this, but your questions are leading. In essence you do everything a lawyer is taught not to, to lead a buyer to a decision

>>80606523
>So how long have you been in the market for a pen?
>Oh 3 months? Yeah, I bet it can get hard trying to find a pen that matches all your needs, right?
>So what kinda pen do you typically use?
>Oh, right a smooth one, of course. How much would you pay for a pen that could do everything you want it to do, and what would you say if I could end your search right now?

Do I get the job?

>>80602684
is this a meme?

>>80605998
Essentially you're supposed to give them a reason to want the pen, instead of trying to make them take the pen. If you establish want in them, you have the power dynamic where they want something from you - the pen - more than you want the money from them.

Either way it's also important to understand context. Pens are a lot less useful now than in the past with the ubiquity of smartphones where you can take notes at any time with it - it being both pen and paper in function. He got out of jail like early 2000s.

>>80606138
But borrowing my pen won't solve your underlying pen need. There's always going to be that one time your on the phone with that big potential client and you need to write down the time of his daughters middleschool rendition of guys and dolls and you're searching every junk drawer in the kitchen and all you can find is that pink Bic that can barely scratch a letter on the back of an envolope, and borrowing this pen right noe is not going to help you remember when Dafnie's recital starts.

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>>80602114
These are amazing pens

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>>80601036
That pen?

You don't want that pen.

You want this pen.

>>80606667
Can't find a video without music, but he really did say this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXKX5tEIZOc

>>80606608
"How much can you pay" not the same as "if I can find you an affordable pen", but yea you get the gist

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>>80606784
This man is the president now

>Throws all the pens off his desk
MONOLY BITCH

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>>80601036
Sell me these dubs.

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>>80601189
Massively underrated
Kekd irl

>>80607111
>trips for the price of dubs

easiest purchase of my life

>>80606913
thats right faggot

>>80602556
It's sales 101. If you can't sell your boss on some dumb pen you'll never make it in

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>>80606412
>>people voted for this

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>>80608181
>>>r/the_donald

>>80601036
On a scale from one to Pen, this thing is great!

>>80601036
Buy this pen or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.

>>80608232
What a fucking bitch