What was your worst experience in a movie theater?

>watched a movie
>it was bad
>popcorn was also bad

People clapping at the end.

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>watching the accountant
>nigress in back of me hooping and hollering at every action scene
>i hated the movie too

>>80539733
What movie?

> watching a documentary about forests
>50 year old single lady next to me just can't shut the fuck up
>I actually started counting, she never remained quiet for more than 20 seconds
> want to punch her
>remember i'm a shy beta manlet and suffer in silence

>>80539597
Two come to mind.

>See Doctor Strange
>Bad migraine throughout, like being stabbed in the head.

>See The Exorcist back when the SE had a theatrical run
>Obnoxious guy in front of us talking throughout the whole film.
>Tell him in no uncertain terms to shut up
>Proceeds to glare at me for the rest of the movie, making the occasional 'gun' gesture

>>80539597
>watching Ghost Rider
>enjoying myself
>smell something fucking terrible
>smells like literal ass
>look around
>some fucking stoner has his disgusting bare feet on the seat near me
>"hey man, can you move your feet?"
>"fuck off"
>look back
>group of 7-8 guys
>figure they'll beat my ass if I talk shit
>leave
>finish the movie at home on a shitty torrent site
why am I such a pussy?

>>80539597
>be 16
>going to the movies for some scifi flick
>HighonLSDasfuck.jpg
>Event horizon

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>be me
>around 3-4 year old
>parents decide to took me in the cinema for the first time
>We're watching about this cool fish nemo
>Movie starts
>Wow this is pretty cool
>Suddenly this fucking scary baraccuda attacks the poor fishes
>WTF.JPG
>SCARY AS FUCK INTENSE MUSIC
>Screaming and crying at the full theather
>Parents try to calm me down
>Fish leaves, I calm down
>1 hour later
>This gigantic shark shows up
>He sniffs blood
>Ohshitohfuck.jpg
>Shit's getting intense
>Shark is going crazy,everything is scary as fuck
>Scared as fuck I run down through the stairs
>First floor
>Scary sharks shows on the screen in its entire view
>Start running upstairs from the shark
>Everyone dying from laughter at the theather

>>80539597
Went to a movie that niggers also wanted to see, ended up walking out halfway through because the niggers were so obnoxious.

>>80541897
Are you still as retarded as you were as a kid?

>>80541989
Not really, I can at least watch all movies without running like an autist around the theather

Having to rent a falcon so i can bypass the no singles policy.
>feelsbadman

I watched john wick 2 sitting next to my brothers new girlfriend. It was the stereotypical black experience, she would not shut the fuck up every single time someone was injured in any way.

I watched Hellboy 2 sitting behind a woman who smelled like a spilled jar of honey mustard, I got used to it about an hour and a half in.

>>80541897
>around 3-4 year old
>Finding Nemo

gt the fuck out of here you babbypants

>go to freshen up in cinema shower after showing of 50 Shades of Men
>there's a fucking giant turd half-mashed down the drain hole

Disgusting.

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>>80542045
>tfw made 18 months ago

Now I can legaly browse your board and you can't do anything

First, they were all out of cauliflower in the produce row in the theater.

Then, I couldn't find any lubricant for my anvil.

And then my innertube sprang a leak, and I had to tread water the rest of the movie. My challah loaf was soaked in pool water.

>>80542040
Are there really no singles policies in theaters in Burgerland?

>>80542182
You took that too far lad. Sit down.

Watched get out and all the blacks were going crazy. There were three bitches who talked literally the whole movie and people were texting and had their phone volumes up, plus taking pics with flash on (maybe for Snapchat). Then during the action scenes at the end they were fucking yelling and cheering. It was terrible.

I'm black

>>80542215
No there isnt. Its not quite a fauxpas to go alone but you ger stares because movies are supposed to be a group activity for some odd reason

>>80540726
i dont think you're a pussy to walk away from 7-8 guys

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>go to the movies with new college friends
>first half an hour goes alright
>they start talking
>they don't stop talking
>they start throwing little pieces of popcorn at eachother and laughing
>don't understand why i'm visibly angry about this

Fuck people like this.

>>80542345
well thats fucking gay

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Someone literally threw a half-full can of at the back of my head.
the movie hadn't even started yet.

>>80540726
You couldn't take on 8 guys, you could have told the staff but thats even worse. You did the most logical thing friendo.

>>80542595
I bet you could 'take on' 8 guys honey

>>80539597
>go with gf to "The Crazies"
>some teenage bitch is talking on cell phone right next to us
>going to ask her to stop talking
>gf wants to talk to her instead
>gf asks her to stop talking
>get sour look from her
>She stops talking but starts playing games on phone
>screen is bright as effing road flare
>gf asks her to put phone away
>She ignores her
>get ready to intervene
>gf afraid of teens, so stops me
>gf gets security guard
>kids removed but the movie was not worth the trouble

>>80539597
>lord of the rings return of the king
>be child
>stupidly order a large coke
>have to pee before the big battle even begins
>suffering by the time frodo is actually in mordor on the mountain
>not going to miss a minute of the movie
>that ending
>those endings
>so long and drawn out
I adore the ending now, but my word did I want that shit to end. I literally sprinted out the second the credits showed up.

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>going to the cinema all alone as always
>the usual routine, bought two tickets and the multiculturally approved combo of hummus and goatmilk, family size
>also brought a womens jacket which I hold on my right arm when I enter
>"Excuse me sir but where is your companion?"
>"Oh she's at the bathroom no worries" *point at the jacket*
>"Enjoy your kíno sir"
>a bit sweaty from that interaction but it all seems good, have plenty of time to cool down during ads
>lights go off, movie finally starts
>let out the last few farts from the warm goatmilk so I can finally enjoy my highly anticipated flick
>suddenly the opening credits are stopped, cinema staff bullies come in with flashlights
>Saw a guy drinking the offensive Coca Cola drink so they gotta be after him
>but the main cinema bully flashes right at me and yells "RIGHT THERE! GET THE LOSER"
>they are clearly onto me, should've brought a more convincing and expensive women's jacket
>the whole row is throwing me out, spitting and throwing stones at me
>cinema staff bullies drag me out of there with the whole crowd cheering and clapping
>"This is the third time you broke the 'no singles policy', you're going to jail you fucking weirdo"
>they throw me in the cinema jail, small dirty cell with no windows or toilet (pic related), just a designated shitting corner
>they don't tell me the time or date so I don't know if I was there for weeks or months
>survive on eating only leftover spilled cinema hummus and sheep blood which the cinema staff scrapes of the floor of every screening
>get to know all the other losers in nearby cells, we form a secret women hating club in there
>one other loser overhears our conversation and starts yelling at us
>brawl ensues, cinema jail clans are fighting to death
>I pretend dead so the staff throws me out in the dumpster with the rest of the bodies
>wait for the night to fall and run back home to my room
>have to start collecting good boy points all over again

Rough times my dear friends

>>80540726
>leave
Hahah please be real. Just move seats up a row you fag

>>80542361
Did you stay friends with them? I hate people like that man

>>80542682
Why can't normies literally watch a movie without hugging their phone? Why did the bitch even go to the movie? Amazes me honestly.

>>80543104
Nope, they all had shit taste too

When the cinema circumcisionist tried to take my manhood away

>>80543374
yeah i had to watch twilight in theater too

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>>80542361
>>80543104
>>80543213

>implying they didn't consciously drop contact with you because you're a ragist autist

>>80543504
Nice

First sexual experience took place in the theater when I was 14, Went into a kids movie when it was pretty empty and she wanked me off and some kids started watching.

>>80539597
My Hateful Eight movie experience.
The Movie itself was good but the 15-18yo guy sitting next to me fiddled with his fucking 6" screen cellphone for 90% of the movie, i remarked about it twice and he pretended he didnt hear.

>go watch guardians of the galaxy with my brother
>sit in middle of the row so I get the best view
>old guy and his wife come to sit down in my row
>plenty of space for them to sit and have a seat in between us
>old fat fuck sits right next to me and decides to leave a space in between him and his wife
>his regard logic astounded me but I brushed it off
>during the whole movie he falls asleep about five different times and starts to snore
>some of the time when I thought he was just snoring it turned out he had a problem with hacking up spit
>also made sure to slurp real hard out of his mt dew kickstart
>wanted to kick the shit out of him the whole time
>pretty fun movie though

>>80539915
every fucking adam sandler movie.

bir de şu hayvanatın filmi. kardeşlerimin zoruyla gittim amk. zevklerine sıçtıklarım

>>80542345
>>80542446
No, it's called being normal.

>>80543580
They still ask me out regularly, why would I want to be friends with people like that?

>>80542860
8/10

>browse /tv/
>hear about no singles policy
>don't realise it's a meme
>really wanna to see TFA
>go down to my local theatre
>sincerely ask the ticket seller lady if they have a no singles policy
>she is completely confused
>gets the manager
>ask him same question
>have to explain what it is
>he says no and looks at me like I have three heads
>I decide to go home instead, feel so embarrassed and dumb

>>80544115

no they don't, anon. and that's okay. you're not the only one who will be foreveralone.

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>>80544146
Okay guy

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>>80544260

shhh. it's not your fault, anon.

>>80544291
If it makes you feel any better, I'd be your friend and take you out to the movies so you didn't project on tv anon

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>>80544319
Why would I want to be friends with people like you? Shit taste too.

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>>80544394
Oh, anon

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>>80544489

yes, my miserable aspie friend?

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>in grad school
>always been a sucker for disaster movies, no matter how bad
>go solo to see Knowing, never done this before
>on my way out, run into 3 hot female classmates
>ohgodwhy
>"Oh hey Anon, you came to see Twilight too? If we had known, you could have come with us!!
>make finger guns at them as say "Eyyyyy!" as I shuffle-sidestep away

>ctrl-f "falcon"
>1 match

>ctrl-f "shower"
>1 match

>ctrl-f "crab legs"
>0 matches

nu/tv/ is shit

>>80539597
going and paying money for movies sounds like a shitty experience in itself

>>80544603
Anon we are talking about the worst cinema experiences, not the best.

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>>80544511
Are your parents together?
Were they loving during your childhood, or distant?

>>80544636
It's pretty great, you get a bit hyped by all the waiting and once it starts you can't pause it and no one bothers you with anything for the whole runtime (atleast here in Europe), just your eyes and ears fixed to the film

And I don't know about you, but I don't have a 2 ton IMAX analog projector along with the 98 feet high screen right at home.
Or a living room with perfect acoustic treatment and a sound system with multi-thousand watt amplifiers and speakers even behind the screen which has microscopic holes throughout for the sound to get through.

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>>80544679
I grew up with two gay dads, but one couldn't hide his heterosexual urges anymore and abandoned my mom before I was out of diapers (circa second grade).

>>80544853
in america you pay to get surrounded by loud niggers so you can watch 35 minutes of trailers before the movie even starts

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>go out with friends to mall on saturday
>they plan to watch Suicide Skwad
>don't really want to but I got nothing better to do and I don't even have money since one of my friends was paying for everything
>buy ticket
>wait 40 minutes on line for them to open
>can't even sit down because the ground is full of popcorn and trash
>finally enter the theater room
>it's crowded as shit, there are even people sitting on the stairs
>trapped between one of my friends and a giant fat nigger eating popcorn
>movie starts
>it's way worse than I could have possibly conceived
>not even hilariously bad like BvS
>theater cheers during the "I'm just going to hurt ya really bad" line for some reason
>decide enough is enough and get up to leave within the first minutes of the movie
>but I'm on the top row and the stairs are packed with people
>and I don't have any money left
>stay and be forced to finish the film
>mfw

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>>80544913
Oh dear, I understand why you attacked me anon
No hard feelings

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>>80545109
how about a hard dick instead, faggot?

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>watching Silence
>some fucking faggot 5 seats to the rights keeps doing the long exhale type of laugh of every time there's anything resembling a "fuck religion xd" moment

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>>80545207
;D

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>>80545235
eat shit

>>80545295
I'm having a beer and watching Rushmore tonight
What you up to anon?

>>80545495
not defiling my mind with Wince Flenderson

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>>80545552
I'm watching The Room after, should be nice

>>80541543
I, too, watched that movie high af for the first time and it was unpleasant

>>80540339
Someone post the .webm of that kid in the anti gun Sandy Hook YouTube video. Where he does the gun gesture to the teacher.

>>80542101
>18 months ago

No I think you're still underage

>>80543985
NORMIES OUT REEEEE

>>80539597

Not mine but mums


>child
>front row
>watching Pirates of the Caribbean AWE
>15 minute interval
>"ah that's retarded"
>retards sitting infront of us

>>80539597
I was on a second date with my now ex gf and we were watching Theory of Everything, and when they put the needles into Stephen Hawking's throat, we heard a woman from the back scream "OH MY GOD IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE MY HUSBAND ISN'T BREATHING" so the lights go up (movie still plays though at full volume for some reason) and everyone looks round and a couple of people phone for an ambulance. A team of paramedics burst in the cinema, and the guy just wakes up suddenly like he's just been sleeping.

Turns out her husband had just fainted because he didn't like needles and the woman couldn't tell that he was breathing.

>>80539597
>people laughing way too hard for the scenes so most of the time i didnt hear what they were saying at all

>2 russian guys in the front row being loud ALL THE WHILE THE OTHER RUSSIAN TRANSLATES THE WHOLE MOVIE FOR THE OTHER

>>80539597
>realising I paid full price to see Prometheus
>realising I will never get those 2 hours of my life back

>>80540726
Nobody can fucking take 8 guys you'd have gotten your ass kicked so hard you'd need to eat through a straw for the rest of your life. You weren't brave, but you were smart.

>>80545611
viper urself

>>80540339
>See The Exorcist back when the SE had a theatrical run
that was '99-'00ish?
I thought everyone was 14 on this board

>>80542081
>Cinema shower
What the fuck? Where?

>>80540726
I would have teleported behind them... Then left

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>>80546963
He's a funny rapper

>>80542533
Source? Always wanted to see a brazen bull on film.

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>>80547030

>>80544530
Are you me anon?

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>>80547363
Still cooling over here

>>80542182
I keked

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>>80547402

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>>80547440
Bathroom break

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I was told by the guy who works at my local theatre that they don't pop their own popcorn they get large sacks of it delivered the week before.

Bummed me out, man.

Fuck Vue Cinemas.

>>80540726
Do people not wear shoes in movie theaters any more? Fucking gross.

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>>80547603

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>>80547440
>>80547603
>this whole exchange

>>80547133
literally filename

>>80546814
Your mom was a child in 2007?
Underage b&

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>>80547687
time 4 lunch

>go to theater to read thread on /tv/
>two autists can't stop replying to each other

>>80541543
>Event Horizon
>be 16

lol Grandpa

>guy smoking a cigarette in the middle of a film
>guy having a five minute long phone conversation with someone he didn't even know (he answered the call with "who is this")

These are just from the last two times I've been to the cinema.

>>80548077
>go to theater to read thread on /tv/
You're out in public browsing /tv/, have you no shame?

>>80541897
>3-4 years old
>Nemo

This site is 18+ anon...

>none of these things ever happened the thread

>>80539597

>be 13
>sneaked in to local cinema through back door to watch Jurassic Park 3
>10 minutes later
>sneaked back out again

>>80542860
What happened to your anvil?

>>80542081
I've read this post before

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>go to theater walk in to see pic related
>40 mins in walk out
i never understood how people could pay to see a movie and walk out half way through in till i saw this piece of shit

>be 17
>takes qt 10/10 gf on first date to cinema to watch Enemy of the State
>5 minutes in, starts kissing, starts fingering her
>"lets go anon, nobodies at home, I'll let you fuck me"
>leaves, gets to her house
>parents are home
>motherfucker cost me £15 for a wet finger

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>>80548351

>>80548351
>Going to a fucking cinema on the first date

You goddamn deserved the outcome.

>>80548510
Mid 90's UK, there was fuckall else to do tbhfam.

>>80548510
I took her virginity the following week bro so it was all worth it in the end.

>go see the first hobbit movie in a local theater
>tiny room, movie starts
>the 3d effect is all kinds of fucked making the first couple of minutes unwatchable until they fix it
>break starts, go to condiments stand
>stand in line for a while
>ask for popcorn
>thet don't have popcorn
>just leave without buying anything else and go back to my seat
And to top it off the movie wasn't that good either.

Only went to the theater once afterwards to see deadpool but the acoustic and sound in general were just awful and the framerate was so low the slomo opening scene was unwatchable

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>>80547933
gtfo

>>80548780
your theater does breaks? were you live i wish mine did this for 3 hour movies

>>80539597
>go to local kinoplex by myself
>see a sign that reads "no singles policy strictly enforced"
>time to improvise
>get my phone out and pretend I’m speaking to my imaginary gf
>walk to the ticket dispenser and mumble to the phone "hurry up babe, I already bought the tickets"
>"Can I have TWO tickets for La La Land, please" I tell the ticket selling professional
>Sure thing, sir...
>phone starts ringing
>guards catch my bluff and send 3 armored falcons to incapacitate me
>too slow to unshed my katana
>they rip my trench coat to shreds and I get escorted out of the premises with a warning and a $5,000 dollar fine

I couldn't even make it to the crab legs buffet

>>80548853
That's the only one, all other cinemas stopped. I don't mind, I'm fine either way

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>>80548844
No can do amigo

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>>80549248

>>80540726

>watching Ghost Rider
>enjoying myself

keke

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>>80549355

>>80540339
>>See Doctor Strange
>>Bad migraine throughout, like being stabbed in the head.
That was actually a part of the movie.

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>>80539597
>last valentines day
>get wasted
>vomit all over the seats during the movie (didnt even watch the movie, it was some shitty jamie foxx flick)
>my eyes slowly open as credits roll by
>staff is nudging my shoulder "hello??"
>I wake up startled with all the staff looking at me like I'm a freak.

>>80542043
>I watched Hellboy 2 sitting behind a woman who smelled like a spilled jar of honey mustard, I got used to it about an hour and a half in.
That doesn't sound like such a bad smell.

>>80541897
fucking underage reddit trash get out ree

>>80549395
It was a pretty fun movie, DCuck

>>80539597
>watching Harry Potter with a female friend
>went along cos her cat died or some shit and felt bad
>row in front some guys gf starts giving him a handjob
>moves on to blowjob
>get aroused as fuck female friend catches on
>puts hand on my leg
>panic and get up to go to toilet
>get back sit awkwardly rest of movie
>she looks like she wants to kill herself

felt pretty fuckign bad and she became a lesbian later.

>>80548351
>£15
OI MATE, DID YOU THROW A SHRIMP ONNA BARBIE DID YA MATE EH? TEA AND CRUMPITS OI GOD SAVE THE QUEEN FISH AND CHIPS YA FINE OL LAD! *BONG* OI MATE IT MUST BE MID NOON RIGHT OL CHAP?

>>80543902
you've seen every adam sandler movie in theaters

>>80541897
cutest movie experience

>>80549886
Sure did. All of those things.

>>80539597

Star Wars: The matriarchy awakens
James Bond: Spectre
Oceans 11
Transformers 2

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>>80548171
>>80546645
I meant 18,months ago
also its 2017 deal with it grandpa

>>80539597
>went to see blade 2
>sat down
>smelled something awful
>noticed seat felt funny
>checked my seat
>someone shit there on my seat and some of it was smooshed/soaked into my it
>WTF

cautious about movie theater seats now.

>>80549248
>>80549355
Wait which one of you guys started the bullying and who is getting bullied now? I can't tell.

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>that girl/guy that wouldn't stop fucking playing with their phone for the entire film
>not even watching the movie, just their head buried in their phone the whole time
>laughing and freaking out at random times because of texts or youtube videos
>This is opening night of a movie
>"Well, that movie sucked! I didn't even know what was happening!"

Why do you drive there, pay money, and sit for 2 hours just to play with your phone? Just fucking stay home you stupid shit and spare everyone your obnoxious text notification sound that you forget to turn off until someone yells at you

>>80550967
the guy with the spurdo pics is being nice
the other guy is the one that isn't nice i think

>enter literal kino(german here)
>oh shit, nicolas cage wizard movie already started
>someone's in my fucking seat
>ey yo, this is my seat
>he says no it isn't
>yeah it is
>etc
>realize I'm way too early and this is the previous showing
>I'm ruining the ending for everyone
>stop talking mid-sentence and walk out
>kino guy gives me weird look
still cringe about that to this day

>>80550342
if you were 3 when nemo came out then you aren't 18 yet

>Go to the movies
>Designated theater shooter doesn't show up
>Literally nobody gets shot

They wouldn't even give me a refund

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>>80549472

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>>80551981

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>>80552647

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>>80549842

>>80547642
>letting your cat beg at the table
Just so you know all of your guests hate having a meal at your place because of your annoying fucking cat.

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>>80553090
Haa baby

>>80553539
>he thinks that guy took the picture
What the fuck?

>>80553587
Sorry, anon. Well just so YOU know, no one likes going to your place for a meal because you let your annoying fucking cat beg at the table.

A guy mid 40s freaking out about people on their phones during the previews. He starts yelling and throwing stuff at people with their phones pulled out. His date tells him to calm down and relax. He freaks out and punches her. 2-3 other guys get up and beat the fuck out of him. Manager comes and drags the guy out by his ear and kicks him out. His date stayed and watched the movie without him LOL.

>>80539597
some beaner and his kid sat next to me during interstellar. The kid wouldn't stop asking questions the entire movie

>>80553643
shit he caught me

>>80546949
Real life isn't like anime, people don't just get into mass brawls for no reason all the time.

>>80539597
>go to movie with chick in the middle of the day to see VVitch
>empty theatre
>feelsgoodman
>bunch of teenagers come in
>sit up in back
>laughing and whispering about how they can't understand what's being said

They stayed through the whole movie. Not that bad, but I only go to the movie theatre .75 times a year on average

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>>80553549
haa tardie

>>80544145
dumbass

>>80553705
ah HA!

I can't believe my bluff worked. I actually have no idea who took that picture and wouldn't even know if you were the guy if I did know who took it due to the anonymity of this site. I thought my bluff was a long shot but it paid off! CAUGHT YOU!

>>80542276
Day of the rope is coming

>friend invites me to see deadpool
>i really don't care about superhero movies
>go anyway
>come in, there is like 15 people he invited too
>the full row is taken
>sit in by my friend and some other dude
>the movie is already not funny, but my friend makes it harder because every joke he makes a snarky comment, or another follow up joke
>people around us are visibly upset
>the black guy in the front row slips and drops his large popcorn in the ground, while hurting his arm, so he has to sit there in pain without popcorn while watching Deadpool

felt like killing myself in the bathroom

>>80550342
You meant 18 months ago? I know, I read that