*burps* Hehe

My boyfriend burps inside me

>>80526877
with her and roseanne, melissa mcarthy, rebel wilson it seems safe to say that only obese women are capable of being funny

>>80526950
but only Roseanne is funny.

>>80526877

"you men have it so eas-"

>performs less than shitty stand up routine and the entire media comes to her rescue

>>80526877
I thought she burped then farted after the burp

>>80526877
>Hello, men are pigs amirit, oink oink
>Crowd laugh until they die

she looks like she had a diaper sewn into her face with an outer layer of skin grafted over it

>>80526950
Morgan Murphy.

An Irish Goodbye. Go watch it.

hey I don't think this is very funn--

>"THE FUCK YOU SAY SHITLORD MASOGINIST PIG??? WOMEN ARE FUNNY GET OVER IT."

>>80526950
Maria Bamford go watch her stuff anon she's the best comic working today

>>80527071
Women are straight up not capable of stand up comedy. It doesn't work. They can be funny comedic actors and writers, but the stand up format just doesn't work for women.

>>80527123
Not even HER stand up is good. I can understand why people like her comedic acting (though i just find her annoying) but there's nothing special about her stand up.

I don't blame her for not being funny. Women don't have to be funny anymore because any criticism toward them is just dismissed as sexism, so they can just do whatever material they want and blame "le virgins"

>>80527148
Who do you find funny?

>>80526877
>DUDE MY
*queefs loudly*
>VAGINA
*audience erupts in laughter*
>STINKS
*braps in mic*

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>>80526877

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>>80526877
10/10 humour.

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>>80526877
>>80527357

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>>80527302

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>>80527325
Wow she trains with Chloe or what?

>>80527488
Hit the gym before the show to get that mad pump.

>>80527071
Made it to 15:35. Smiled but never laughed. Not gonna finish it.

>>80527614
>>80527526
Right him, my dace opposite I oil yo be pioneer Secondly case op doc said that he had been used in a while ago

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>>80526950

out of those only Roseanne is funny

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>>80527325
>>80527357
>>80527384
>>80527488

Amy Schumer is literally Dee in the "The Gang Broke Dee" episode

>>80528118
Rosam is greata the same time as well as other people who don't know how much I love the new version

>>80528118
I love her. Can she be my grandma?

webrip pls

I looked her up today

Turns out she failed the fucking audition of Last comic standing atleast once in the 1st 4 seasons, and then only came 4th in the fifth.

Amy Schumer is an industry plant used as a tool for propaganda, agenda and disinfo.
Problem is, even unwoke normies think she's bad.
This is major backfire.

brapppp posting IRL

>>80527011
some tubby standup guy should do her act exactly, word for word, and see who laughs.

i guess a guy joking about how his vagina smells like the chicago stockyards would be kind of funny.

>>80528394
Literally this

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>>80527325
>>80527357
>>80527384
>>80527488

I hope to god these are edited. Being a stand up comedian is just all about getting your name out there, isn't it?

I mean, there good comedians too but for the life of me I can't understand how this woman ever climbed up the ranks with shit like this.

>>80529659
Shes related to a bigwig Democrat

>>80526950
Do not compare Roseanna to Melissa Mcarthy or Rebel Wilson

>>80527325
>>80527357
>>80527384
>>80527488
These aren't actual quotes from her special are they?

>*btfos /tv/*

hehe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRe2Rs7LomY

>>80530553
This, pls respond

>>80528118
/our lass/

>>80528158
Uncanny. Fuckin amazing. Always Sunny top show confirmed.

I just 'watched' it just now. Dad was bored and I pretty much heard the entire special from the other room

Incredibly shit out of 10

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>>80527488

>>80526877
>my pussy

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

>>80530574
that's the first time I've heard of her, that joke was alright but fug me steve o was mad, cant blame him

>>80530574
Was his death recent at that time? There are some things you don't ever fucking say to a person.

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I wonder what Jerry Seinfeld or Larry David would have to say about her special.

>try to make it to the end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFri4o1uYrs

>Ali Wong is the only decent female comedian

just fuck my shit up, why can't they be funny

>>80531482
It was. Amy is a true cunt

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>>80526877
Hey buddy I think you got the wrong door. The leather club is two blocks down

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>>80530574
>"FUCK YOU AMY!"

Funniest Stand-up in a long time.

You all bitch about how she only talks about her lady parts but black comics always rely on stuff like "niggers and white folks do things differently! amaright?" But once again, trust the hivemind at /tv/ to hate something popular.

>>80531862
Get a load of this faggot

>>80530574
based iron mike.

>>80530574
What a giant fucking cunt.

It's like a cow started walking upright

>>80526891
post feet

>>80531368
>my pussy smells like a goat

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

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>>80531762
you're a small guy

>>80530574
What the fuck. That wasn't roast, that was cruel and mean.

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>>80530574
>best friend dies in a car crash
>fat cow brings up those emotions
>tells everyone she wishes it were you

100% mean

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>>80528118

It makes me sad that a cow's skin was wasted creating that hideous outfit that got stretched out over 300 lbs of sweaty pig carcass

>>80528118
ROSEANNE BRINGIN DA HEAT

>>80527293
idubbbz, filthy frank, jontron

>>80531305
is that fucking pucci in the background, too?

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>>80529494
This was recently done with Clinton and Trump by liberals, and they got the opposite results they expected.

https://www.nyu.edu/about/news-publications/news/2017/march/trump-clinton-debates-gender-reversal.html

tl;dr - They expected to find that Trump only got elected because of his gender. Turns out that when genders were swapped, people hated Clinton even more, and liked Trump.

When people constantly cry wolf, it eventually backfires on them. They're eating their own shit.

>>80533798
>https://www.nyu.edu/about/news-publications/news/2017/march/trump-clinton-debates-gender-reversal.html
thank you very much for that link

>>80526877
The joke about her vajayjay was awesome. She's so funny.

>>80533778
god i hope you're not kidding

>>80526877
Throwing rotten fruit at her face would save her special.

>>80527054
underrated

>>80526950
>Comparing Roseanne to these pigs.

Consider suicide

>>80535923
this, rosanne is cool because she's alt right

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>>80533797

>>80526877
Ms Piggy looks like THAT in 3D?

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Scenario: You get $100,000,000 per year, tax free, for the rest of your life...

HOWEVER, every naked person you will ever see, both in person or in various media, looks exactly like Amy Schumer.

Deal or no deal?

>>80536501
Deal. I'll just fuck through hole in a sheet like the heebie jeebies.

>>80536501
Does it also affect 2D women? Because if no, deal. If yes, no deal.

>>80528118
>The one female comedian who agrees with my political views is the only funny one
Gee I wonder what makes you say that

>>80536501
Congrats, you've found a way to make money worthless.

>>80536547
Yes.

>>80536618
>>80536204
kek

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>>80526877
Damn! Amy Schumer looks like THAT?

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Okay, which one of you was this?

>>80530574

>savage unless a chick does it, then it's just cruel

is it just the pussies who replied to that post who're weak or is it a general consensus here

>>80527054
best thing i've read all day, +2

>>80531687
> 10 seconds in
> She's already talking about her cunt
Jesus christ people aren't exaggerating.

>>80526877
Why is she such a disgusting slob?

>>80530574
Christ, what a cunt.

>>80531862
.05 cents has been deposited into your account

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Fuck sake....
https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/03/17/amy-schumer-alt-right-internet-trolls-behind-netflix-specials-bad-reviews.amp.html

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>>80526877
reminder that Amy Schumer's "comedy" "career" was "successful" only due to her second cousin Chuck Schumer - the democratic New York Senator, who is a known Zionist.

https://twitter.com/jacobkornbluh/status/813068997646225408

Amy Schumer helps push the Zionist agenda, including the normalization of degeneracy, the destruction of the American nuclear family, race mixing, the refusal to bear children among white couples, and endless wars against the Muslim nations which are perceived as the enemies of Zionism.

Oftentimes when people are told about Amy's career being a tool of Chuck Schumer, they ask "lol do you rlly think some politician has the power to do that?" Yes. Chuck Schumer is one of the most well connected and powerful Senators, and has major pulling power in New York City. Chuck is known for using media to his advantage - >Schumer's propensity for publicity is the subject of a running joke among many commentators. He has been described as an "incorrigible publicity hound".[29] Bob Dole once quipped that "the most dangerous place in Washington is between Charles Schumer and a television camera",[30]

And for the rest who doubt Chuck using his power to boost Amy's career, and believe that Amy's years of hard work brought here to where she is now - remember: she isn't funny at all. She has no comedic timing. She steals jokes. It couldn't be any more obvious that her career was strengthened by outside sources.

>>80526950
Mcarthy was acceptable in Gilmore Girls, I can't believe anyone looked at her 10 years later and thought "this is lead material".

>>80531692
> you get to SHIT at home, I don't want to SHIT at work.

She does the same thing dude, saying SHIT loudly doesn't make it funny.

>>80531862
Race is a touchy subject to a lot of people , vaginas on the other are safe and have no real bias for or against them. Not only is muh vagina not funny, it's safe, and she is not taking any risks.

>>80540873
Perhaps the die was cast

>>80536501
No money is worth the amount of torture you'd have to go through.

>all porn consist of Amy talking about her Vagina

>>80530574
I feel like it'll be too hard to watch. Quick rundown?

>>80541983
she made fun of ryan dunn dying

>>80531401
Steve O had made a joke about the dead people who died in the nightclub fire, fuck him.

>>80531482
>>80531802
>>80532117
>>80532316
>>80533458
>>80539676
where the fuck were you people when /tv/ was making fun of Patton Oswalt's wife dying? I don't recall you getting triggered over that?

>>80536501
joke's on you I'm fapping to her as we speak

>>80530574
>not posting steve-o follow up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkVb_ogECJc

>>80533798

> people hated Clinton even more

Because in the reenactment thing apparently "Jonathan Gordon" (Male Clinton) came across as effeminate. Which should not come as any surprise honestly.

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>>80540873

> Non-ironically using the term "race mixing"

>>80545337
>Jews hate race-mixing among fellow Jews
>that's ok
>to criticize that is antisemitism
>anyone else hating race-mixing is evil

good Goyim

>>80530574

Pure unfiltered cringekino

>>80530877
Dude yes. Couldn't be more real

>>80546009

> Appeal to Hypocrisy

> Orthodox Jewry are just as fucked up as non-moderate Muslims

> Catholics also want people to marry Catholics. Seems like it's a religion thing, not a race thing, given you can convert and marry Jews just fine

I just saw Amy Schumers asshole and pussy on the /b/ thread.

What do I do guys?

>>80546185
>jews
>a race when they need to be
>a religion when they need to be

is this what they mean by "shapeshifters"?

>>80546009
>>Jews hate race-mixing among fellow Jews
But that's not true at all, 90% of the "jewish" celebrities in the US are mutts

>>80546009
Aren't jews some of the biggest racemixers, hence why they're kinda dying out

>>80546294
Yes, /pol/s just grasping at straws again
Of course according to their "muh one drop" rule all of thoseare pureblooded jews that can only spread their jewry further
Of course when white people do the same though it's "white genocide"

>>80546251

They are an "ethnoreligious group". Like Sikhs, Amish, Mennonites, Armenians.

Shit gets complicated. But they are not immune from criticism, nor are they fucking trying to take over the world by committing white genocide or some shit.

>>80546389
>they are not immune from criticism
are we living in the same universe or are you on some other timeline?

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>>80546378

That sort of means that "white" genes/blood is super weak, right?

LOL SHE IS FAT GUYS

>>80546466
That seems to be what /pol/ is unintentionally insinuating, yes

>>80546464

I have a serious problem with institutional sexism in Orthodox Jewry that results in abuses towards women and enormous difficulties in divorcing due to religious courts, that constitutes civil rights abuses.

Oh no, I'm being locked up right now for saying no nos about Jews!!!!!!

(Mormons are equally as fucked and yeah, also use whatever means necessary to "protect" their "faith")

>>80546464
Are you? Both the far left AND far right in America despise Israel

>>80536927
All me

>>80544249
>autistic manchildren are out of touch with the real world and social interaction to the point of hipocrisy

more news at 11

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>>80527325
What time mark is this during the show? I need to see this to believe it.

>>80546511
reddit should be more to your liking

>>80536501
i'd take it, and pay Amy Schumer as much as it takes to convince her to get plastic surgery, lipo, until she becomes hot

>>80530574
>Fuck you amy!
Mike is the goat

>>80544249
Because we all know he murdered her because he's in the illuminati.
But seriously, nobody likes Patton, and his wife died in suspicious circumstances.

>>80546671
Why do reddit people always say this on 4chan

>>80544249
Because /tv/ isn't doing it at a 'roast'. They're not doing it to try and be funny, they're doing it cause they don't like Oswalds political views. It doesn't help he's a bit of a cunt and the fact it looks very much like he killed his wife.

/tv/ users aren't relevant and aren't invited to roast celebrities. Them being 'funny' isn't their job.

>>80527357
>>80527325
>>80527384
>>80527488
Did you actually watch her special JUST to make fun of it?

>>80546860
spotted the redditor in disguise
nice try buddy

>>80546950
You seem to be obsessed with that site anon. Did you get downvoted? Tell us all about it, we're here for you.

>>80546950
>spotted the redditor in disguise
>nice try buddy
Fuck off redditor

>>80528158
so fucking true.

>>80546922
>like is very much like he killed his wife


How so?

>>80531401
>>80531482
>>80532117
>>80533458
>>80539676
It's a roast you fags. Comedy Central even lets you tell them if there's a subject that's off limits so you don't have to get pissy. I'd hate to see how you guys would react to an actual roast that's vicious.

>>80546197
wash your eyes with lemons,salt and acid, and may god be with you, good luck.

>>80547064
Ridiculous combinations of drugs together.

>>80544956
Shit. He's actually got some jokes.