WAKE UP...TIME TO DIE
I use this when gaming & waking up my fellow coworkers.bonus points for unpopular lines
>>80487424
if it bleeds, we can kill it - when my girlfriend is on the flow
a-are you wet, is your pussy all wet
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
"You are a big guy!"
When the bull is shagging my wife
>>80487463
Kek'd
Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?-When someone takes my coke from the fridge
>>80487424
just used this today for some mild keks when we were doing the "pretend to me talking shit behind the bosses back when he walks in and can hear us saying shit
>Sir, I wish to report a Mutiny
>I can name fingers and point names
>Dylan! Youuuu son of a BITCH.
Every time I meet my friend Dylan, he's fucking sick of it
>>80487580
>truman era paranoia
>not taking your Pepsi
Otherwise pretty good
Bitches leave.
Can you FLYYYyyyyyyyyyyy Bobby?
Fuck you, asshole.
-The Finisher
>get this fag out of here
when tossing back all non-cashews into a can of mixed nuts
>>80487939
Is that.... Phantom of the Paradise?! Holy fuck I forgot all about that movie. Gonna have to go back and rewatch.
>>80487424
>No
Isildur - LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring
>>80487424
See now you know you done fucked up?
pretty self explanatory use
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JObQSYj4Qi8
"im going to gut you like a fish" -scary movie
I say this to my mother. I don't know why. kek
>you look like a bunch of retards trying to fuck a door knob
I work at a retirement home and I frequently use this when ever one of those old fucks try's to get out of a chair.
>>80487424
>You may dispense with the pleasantries, I'm here to put you back on schedule.
I accidently said this after some guy in the dev team i took over complimented me on my Darth Vader coffee mug. Working relationship with the team was great though.
>>80487424
I drive
>>80488058
That guy is hands down the best cop, fed, agent, commissioner, or soldier ever played.
>>80488168
I love Vader quotes. They are always appropriate.
I WANT THAT SHIT...NO EXCUSES
50% of what I say on any given day is a quote from Seinfeld, Office Space, Big Lebowski, or a handful of 80's movies.
>>80488274
>Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
>I hope so, for your sake.
>I am altering the deal, pray I do not alter it any further.
>X do not concern me.
>You have failed me for the last time.
Vader 101 should be a part of any leadership seminar.
This is the most reddit thread I've seen in a while.
>>80487424
where do you work, death row?
>>80487424
Sometimes when I hand something to my friends, I say "Take it Gandalf! I'm giving it to you!"
>>80488168
>Don't choke on your aspirations
>>80488095
>>80487768
>>80488095
>>80488161
Literal autism. These posters legitimately have autism.
Even if the story is fake, the way they put it, it screams autismo
>>80488888
Those were all me haha
>>80488888
>>80488941
Both me
>>80487424
>"How about this? Shut your mouth...Or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and shut it for you."
me and my mate say this to each other when we disagree about something, you know how gosling has a kind of effeminate voice in drive ? now it's devolved into an impression of micahel jackson doing the drive quote, or sometimes just saying "sh-sh-shut up" in a high pitched voice before bursting out laughing
Big feet... Large shoes
I dunno why I like it so much...
>>80488888
JESUS FUCK I GOT QUINTS
>Oh yeah tough guy? How bout you and me settle this right here in the ring?
Me and my mates always do this when one of us walks in the room in leather s&m gear, always gets a few laughs before we fuck him silly.
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate up hill
"We got this man, we got this by the ass!"
>>80489069
Haha same
>>80489260
James rolfe kind of ruined that line for me.
Now I only think of him saying it, instead of the actor.
>>80488464
>downvote
>>80489272
I literally didn't even know he was quoting something else until this moment.
>>80488888
Where do you think you are?
>>80489401
Dawn of the dead 1978 is comfy, anon.
Watch it some day.
>>80489480
Will do.
>>80488438
Sadly I am never in position to use any of them. I have only used it on my mom and she didn't give a fuck
>>80487424
>I'm gonna give you a few seconds before I cum.
on the rare occasions I get laid.
>Shut up baby, I know it.
-Bender Bending Rodriguez.
>>80488986
that's funny anon
Oh hi Mark.
I even used it before everyone saw that fucking film so I don't want to hear any shit
>>80489438
Why are all the sailors so cute?
With grape powder comes grape responsibility.
use this about once a day
>ahh shit Wang, its only a game.
>>80488888
>>80489066
AYYY REPEATINGS DIGITS
"You're killing me, Smalls."
I use it when whenever someone asks me to do something that is mildly annoying to do.
whenever a friend asks me "why"
>because I hate you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhAvCI9Kolw
>THEY'RE PISSING ON US WITHOUT THE DECENCY TO EVEN CALL IT RAIN
I use this quite frequently after watching political news.
>>80490608
I do this too. I love his goofy accent and that no one ever has any idea what I'm talking about
"run you fools" -badalf the great
tell this to my friends when we are running late for class xD
>>80487424
>I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOIG TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE
When I'm as mad as hell and not going to take it anymore
I'LL BE BACK
>If you don't get it up, I'm gonna have to kill you!
ITT: Autists and ironic cringe posters. The question is, what are the percentages?
>>80491876
50-50
>>80487424
>WAKE UP...TIME TO DIE
I say that out loud to myself first thing after I open my eyes every morning. Never gets old.
JUST LYING THERE
"things could be better"
>>80487424
What is this? Gays of our lives?
I actually say this when I get a killing spree playing vidya
>>80489069
I unironically use the phrase
>I'll show you who's boss of this gym
all the time
>If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you"
Many thanks to Chuck Norris, this helped me a lot to shup up annoying co-workers from time to time.
>"Innocent? Innocent of what?"
>"You stupid fucking cunt"
all the time
"YOU'RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBjECT"
-me talking to my fleshlight
>>80487424
Bastard from a Basket. (to my bastard cat)
Stop crying you sniveling ass. You're just the afterbirth Eil, slithered out of your mother's filth. (to my dog)
I told you I would eat you up.(to food)
Dont be tHICK in front of me, Al. (to people named Al that act thick)
there's a whole ocean of X under our feet! And I'm the only one that can get it!
there's a competition in me.
>carmella could you please shut the dooooooooooooooor
When my cowork carmella doesn't shut the door
fuck a fuck
from enemy of the state
> Be a doll and just get me a mineral water, okay?
I say that to my assistant when I'm thirsty.
When I first used this line she was taken aback, but now she's okay with it.
>>80492752
You're going to get fired.
And that kid is back on the escalator!
Give me the blood Lord, so I can leave.
I drink the blood of Lamb from Bandy's tract.
One night, I'm gonna come to you, inside of your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat.
I'd buy that for a dollar!
*pulls out foam*
>I AM THE KNIGHT THAT SAYS WEEEEEE!!!
*jumps on foam*
haha xD me and my friend are the most rando girls in our class.
>well congratulations you've got yourself caught. What the next step of your master plan?
To my wife when I caught her fucking Tyrone.
>the lannisters send their regards
me when I'm choking my dick
I occasionally tell people to go home and get their fucking shinebox when busting balls. You MUTTAFUCKIN mutt is also a fun one.
Also had a running joke with some bros and Palpatine's its treason then line
>this vexes me, I am terribly vexed
me when I get a headache from fucking my sister too long
>Is there a sign above my asshole that says black semen storage?
me when black guy cums in my ass without permission
>keep the change you filthy animal!
me when I give a homeless person money
You're the man now dog!
When I walk in on my wife's son having sex with his mother
>what is this, dirty dancing?
me when my grandma hugs me
>i'll be back!
me when im going to go somewhere and then come back
>Why do I have to be Mr. Brown, that sounds a little to much like Mr. Shit
Me when someone calls me by my last name.
>hey smokey back here taking a shit!
when I see a female coworker going to the bathroom
>Hasta la Vista, Baby!
me when I sit out front ICE HQ watching mexicans get deported.
>You have lots of boyfriends, GAY ONES!
me when looking at my self in mirror
>>80492846
>>80492911
>>80492949
>>80492987
>>80493015
>>80493034
>>80493101
>>80493128
>>80493255
>>80493389
>>80493470
>>80493552
fucking kek
>great white buffalo, great white buffalo
me when I see a huge fat woman in walmart
So I hear you're a racist now, Father
When anyone tries to give me unwanted advice
>I have fought many wars, master dwarf. Do not tell me how to defend my keep.
>>80489066
>>80488888
Christ what are the odds of these digits?
>What about the droid attack on the Wookies?
me when l ask the Jedis about the droid attack on the Wookies
>>80487424
"haha toki can't read musics"
sometimes with some words replaced.
>>80493767
YOU lady, Skwisgaar!
>get out of here you little pervert, or ill smack you silly!
me when my dads walks in on me jacking off
>>80487768
Morgan pls leave
Me and my friends have quoted the room on a monthly basis for at least 5 years.
>That's the idea!
>You seem to be an *expert* Mark
>Hi doggy
>Good thinking
>Leave your stupid comments in your pocket
>Cheep cheep cheepcheep
>In a few minutes bitch
>Don't touuch me mothafagger
>Me underwears
>You're not my fucking mother
>I fed up with this worl
>You must be kidding aren't you
>I already ordered a pizza
>Anything for my princess
>You're my favorite customer
>WHAT KIND OF DRUGS?
>what a story mark
>As far as I'm concerned, you can just drop off the earth. That's a promise
>You're lying I never hit you
>I fel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb, waiting for it to go off
>Anyway, how's your sexlife
>Where's my fucking money Denny
>I just like to watch you guys
>Love is blind
The Room is more quotable than Pulp Fiction.
We know almost every line by heart.
>>80490608
>>80491143
Just use the good lines instead of the normiecore lines and you're good.
>smoke up johnny!
me when my girlfriend is smoking my pole
>>80489069
Y-you forgot to say:
>no homo
>it feels so GOOD aunt diane
me when im talking to my aunt about the current weather
>>80492462
>lol kek
I use the following for the same effect:
>I CUT JOR TROAT
>licence to kill / benicio del toro
>You look a little out of breath, bitch!
>"nice tits,bitch"
>>80487424
>Are you Steve Jobs?
>What?
>Hold on a second. Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers?
>No.
>Oh, okay. Well, in that case you have no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever.
my roommate and i consistently quote this multiple times a week
>>80494145
>Just use the good lines instead of the normiecore lines and you're good.
I refuse to change.
>>80487424
"no time for love Dr.Jones"
>>80494600
>>80487424
Everytime I eat a pizza slice, I look at it and go "hasta la vista...pizza..."
>me so horny
me when im horny
Sometimes when I take a break from something I'll say "so... back to it" like Negan says when he kills glenn
>>80494685
What happened to this maymay?
"You're a funny guy, [name]. I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
>>80489069
My friends say "Fuck you, Leatherman" whenever banter is being thrown around. Literally almost every time. I used to but it's kind of lost its novelty since we're usually throwing bants every time we talk to each other.
>whats up with that guys eyes, is he retarded or something?
lots of asians in my town
>>80494145
>Leave your stupid comments in your pocket
Easily my favorite line of any film. I've used it in conversation so many times.
> heres looking at you kid
which is why im on a register
>>80487939
>phantom
my fucking nigger
>>80495338
Classic Frankie Boyle joke
>etsubatsu...piss and shit
Say this whenever i screech autistically
for you
>>80493389
kek
One time a friend wanted me to give him something I was holding. I asked him why and without hesitating he said "because it's my birthday and I want it", in our native language.
Well, I thought it was funny.
When I'm putting the trash out on the curb I'll yell GARBAGE DAY while trying to make a crazy face. My neighbor has caught me doing it and now doesn't make eye contact.
>>80488888
Most of the dialogue from "Withnail and I"
>"I feel like a pig has shat in my head"
>"I want somethings flesh"
>"Why has my head gone numb?"
>"Cool your boots man"
>"Very foolish words man"
I say "Surprise, cockfag" from Team America a lot when I'm at work.
>>80494600
"Open your mind..."
>>80487517
"You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie..."
"Life does not start and stop at your convenience"
>whenever a (usually female) friend asks stupid questions about a show/movie plot that were already explained or will be explained
My friends and I have been asking are you a fuckin cop quite a bit recently everytime we ask things or someone walks in the room. There's way more quotes but I can't remember besides saying cheap cheap cheap from The Room a lot but no one ever gets it
>>80503154
Oh and what is your major malfunction numbnuts is another good one I catch myself saying a lot
>>80487517
>>80502291
I say
>I'm staying. I'm finishing my coffee.... enjoying my coffee
>calmer than you are
all the time