immersion ruined

Didn't the journey only take like two weeks or something?

How dramatic of a change could take place

>>80413674
It took months dude.

Hobbit genetics

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Why didn't Fodo ride to Mount Doom on Sam's back, stuffing lembas bread in his mouth and cracking the whip occasionally while shouting "Faster, piggy!"?

Why didn't they just fly on the eagles from the start?

>>80413763
Cause Sam was too fat, duh.

>>80413613

Why is he wearing Kryptonian armor I WILL FIND HIM MR FRODO

>>80413674
Try spending 2 weeks having only one light meal a day.

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Fakest orgasm ever.

>>80413613

They were eating magic elf bread where one bite could sustain you for an entire day.
There was never an issue with a lack of food

They will retain fat for a LONG ass time being the laziest little fuckers on Arda. Hobbits will literally never starve.

>>80413674
From the time to the time they arrived back at the shire was exactly a year.

>>80414021
*time they left to the time they arrived back at the shire was exactly a year

>>80413613
lembas bread motherfucker. it wasnt a joke in the books. it legit sustained you for a really long time.

in TT pippin is forced to run alongside the urukhai when kidnapped with only weird orc drink sustaining him, because it somehow makes them have shit tons of energy.

>>80414021
But like half of that was made up of chilling in lothlorien or rivendell and the comfy march home

>>80414252
Well you just answered the OP question then for why didn't Sam lose weight.

I swear some people get so caught up in arguing simply for the sake or arguing that they lose track of what the original discussion even was.

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Looks like about 800 miles. Sam confirmed as bread thief.

why didnt their hair grow out

or

how did they cut their hair, why would they prioritize hair cut

and

how did they wipe their asses

>>80414518
t. george rr

>>80414518
Smeagle licked the excrement from their buttholes.

>>80414481
I never understood this map. What lies beyond Rhun? Is the world an island?

>>80414667
Nah this is one chunk of a continent, same size as France roughly. Everything on the edges is just the wild.

>>80414772
So Mordor has it's back to essentially an endless untapped wilderness chalk full of trees and other resources, and instead they burn down Isenguard and piss off the ents?

>>80414667
it's written by Bilbo or Frodo supposedly, so they don't know anything about what lies further south and east. It's pretty impressive as maps go in the setting, most hobbits don't know what's beyond the next village.

>>80413613
Wasnt Boromir on the road for almost a year to Rivendell?

>>80414667
The world is a planet that used to be a flat disc.

>>80413674
They leave Rivendell December 25. The Ring is destroyed March 25.

They spent 1 month of the journey (January 15-February 16) in Lorien.

>>80413921
MUH CHILDHOOD
MUH DICK

>>80414967
>implying
Back to infowars.middleEarth.erdu you go

>>80413674
>>80413688
>months
The journey from Frodo first picking up the ring to the ring sinking into the lava took four years

Frodo mentions like "Four years to the day since Weathertop" which is where he got stabbed

>was about to post a picture of fatass Samwell Tarly for semi-relevance
>turns out I forgot how fucking obese he was at the start of the series and he has actually dropped a fair bit of weight, even though he's still a fatass

>>80415341
That's in the movies, what do the books say?

>>80415341
Can you never fucking post again?

>>80415406
Even if you've only seen the movies he's a complete fucking retard. Frodo says when they arrive back in the Shire it's been 13 months since they left. He only says the "four years" line after time has passed in the Shire (e.g. Sam getting married).

>>80414124
>because it somehow makes them have shit tons of energy.

Saruman is based on Hitler, he pumps his troops full of meth.

>>80415471
Oh yeah that's right, I remember now.

Lol that other guy is retarded.

>>80414866
So Germany had a barren wasteland full of Slavs to their back but instead they pissed off France?

>>80415783
>uninhabited
>UNINHABITED
>FUCKING READING COMPREHENSION

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>>80414866
>chalk full

>>80417375
What do you think it is, chuck full?

I hate southern retards

>>80417375
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=chalk+full

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>>80417744
Are you trying to be retarded?

Seriously, not even him.

I still don't really get what is the difference between Hobbits and Dwarves

they're both just regular people except shorter and live somewhere different

>>80418027
I'm not a hardcore Tolkein fag, so I may be wrong about this, but from what I understand Dwarves were created by the Earth/Mountain god in his image, and Hobbits are like a retarded offshoot of men.

>>80413613
Mind=Blown
bue maybe this >>80413740

>>80415783
Slavs put up more of a fight than the French who surrendered and elected a national socialist government

no but serisouly
why not take the Eagles?

>>80418027
>I still don't really get what is the difference between tigers and lions
>they're both just regular cats except bigger and live somewhere different

>>80418348
Because Sauron would spot em

>>80418420
they could just fly by night

>>80418348
>because they didnt give a shit about war with Sauron and were neutral moat of the time
>because theyd try to take the ring, they were on Gandalfs power lever, not regular birds
>because Sauron had spells preventing other magical beings from entering his turf
>because theyd get fucked by archers and fell beasts

>>80418348
3 reasons off the top of my head:
- The Eagles didn't give a fuck about the other races and just wanted to be left alone. They only helped Gandalf because they owed him a favor, and even then there was no guarantee that they'd come.
- The Eye of Sauron would have seen them and sent the Nazgul to kill them
- They could have been corrupted by the ring of power as well.

>>80418027
retard

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>>80413613
Maybe it was his thyroid.YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT, DUDE!??

>>80414481
>Looks like about 800 miles
>sit on their asses and eat all day for a month at lorien
>casually drift to the fall of rauros through the river in mere days
>the entire shit that goes down on the two last movies ammounts to about 1 month
>why sam didnt became a skellington on 1 month?

>>80414518
can cut your hair with a dagger or sword if its getting in the way, doesn't need to be barber quality

you wipe your ass on leaves or a bit of cloth you carry around with you and rinse in water when you can

>>80414667
i kinda imagine the lands to east as something resembling a mostly unexplored eurasian steppe

>>80418530
>>80418549
Ringmind.

>>80414902
he was probably stopping in every tavern and barn raping lowly maids as he went and getting shitpiss drunk every day travelling 5 miles at a time

>>80418271
not in world war 1
(which is when tolkien started the books)

>>80418348
Because its literally a plot hole and Tolkien admitted it in a letter.

>>80418675
tbf if you were on the road for a month medieval style and you weren't eating well you would turn skin and bones pretty quick

>>80418493
Eagles vs nazgul
Rip

>>80418840
Tolkien also clearly stated that he didnt based LOTR on real life events and wars, because if he did, hobbits would be despised by all other races and Ring would be used as a weapon against sauron, and instead of honourable leaders wed have cowards obsessed with power. He was very disilusioned with humanity

>>80414518
How did they do their tax returns when they were on travelling foot for an entire year? Did they get audited upon returning to the Shire?

>>80413921
Wait what

>>80413895
They were given Lembas bread which makes you full after a bite or two.

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>>80418271
>elected a puppet government

>>80414866
>>80417709
>>80417744
It's chock you fucking idiots

>>80420249
this

idiots are a diamond dozen on this board ffs

>>80413763
That was the original plan but gadalf died in moria

>>80415341
>>80415406
>>80415471

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>>80420892
Kek. forgot picture.

Was Sam gay lovers with Bilbo? Why was he so emotionally attached to him . Was he sucking his dick or something?

>>80417709
Chock full

>>80420388
idiots on the internet are just part of the course, don't worry about it

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>>80418348
Because the whole thing was a test for mankind. The god can and have handled worse things in the past, but their intervention led to a lot of devastation and led to human complacency. So this time God decided that humans solve the mess they themselves started this time and will only send guidance in the form of Gandalf. Which is why they didn't use the eagles, and which is why Gandalf didn't just fireblast everyone.

>>80413674
in the books it's mentioned that the journey lasted roughly 16 years

>>80421210
t. Havent read the books.
16 years since Frodo inherited the ring till its destruction, but 15 of those years he was sitting on his ass in Bag End

>>80414518
How did Boromir always have a perfectly trimmed goatee during Fellowship?

>>80420834
Gandalf even told them to fly but they all ignored him.

>>80414667
dark continent

>>80421201
so thats why Gandalf is brought back to life? Is that what he means he had to finish something? To help Frodo?

I mean thats how I interpret it and it fits nicely

>>80423054
is it crazy to think he migt have carried a satchel or small pouch with a razor in it

>>80423498
I don't know if maiar can even properly "die"

like if he gets BTFO he just sorta respawns in the undying lands or whereever the fuck he comes from

>>80423498
After he proved he was not corrupted unlike rest of maiars remaining on arda when he declined he ring, sacrificed himself to kill Durins Bane and was only one of Istari that still cared about their original quest, Eru sent him vack buffed so that he could finish his mission of guiding against Saurin and also take care of Saruman who went rouge

>>80423993
>, Eru
this sounds interesting. should i read the silmarillion?

>>80413674
Actually, in the hidden sub-appendix of the Silmarillion, it's explicitly said that the journey took forty-five years.

>>80420892
>>80420924
>wikianswers

Hello can you do me a big favor and NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING POST AGAIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksyCkPMGouo&t=20s

>>80424466
for the love of god yes

>>80424466
Eru is the God Almighty of Tolkienverse, Morgoth is Lucipher, Valar and Maiar are greater and lesser angels. LOTR is kinda Catholic existential literature.
And yeah, but after you've read LOTR with appendices and still want more. And takie it slow, Silmarillion has very good stories but its not easy to digest. Read one story at a time, dont try to marathon the whole book

>>80414518
You don't need to shit when you eat lembas bread.

>>80424781
No the super sekret hidden appendix says it took 45000years due to being stuck in a timewarp during their time in the barrow downs, learn to Tolkien pleb

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>watch extended battle of five armies
>extremely violent scene with dwarves on a war chariot that is equipped with a hand-cranked repeating crossbow

I can see why this was cut but I really wish it wasn't.

>>80425328
>being this fucking wrong.

>>80425784
Nah that's very simplified but he's not exactly wrong

>>80425677
>not knowin that when youvtake first character of every sentence and read it backwards you get turbo secret appendix that retcons all previous ones and actually says that journey was 24 hours long but seemed longer due to time dilatation because middle earth is close to a black hole
Laugh at this tolkien newfag

>>80425858
Shut up spoiler fgt that's super sekret

>>80425784
Pls prove me wrong. Im not saying those are exactly the same characters, I meant they serve similiar roles in mythology

>>80425784
Everything he said can be backed up with direct Tolkien quotations.

>>80413674
In the appendixes it shows that its like 30 years or something crazy

>>80425852
>>80425941

>“I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history – true or feigned– with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers. I think that many confuse applicability with allegory, but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author.”

Why won't you fucking plebs simply understand he wrote a fucking story with no parallels to his real life, except for when aspects of WWII seeped in? It's simply an extremely complex high fantasy epic tale.

Go fuck yourselves.

>>80426027
Calm down little autist, we know, but the comparison is easy to make and does explain the relation between the various valar maiar and iluvatar in a broad sense, why r you having such trouble with this?

>>80426027
> The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, but consciously in the revision. That is why I have not put in, or have cut out, practically all references to anything like 'religion', to cults or practices, in the imaginary world. For the religious element is absorbed into the story and the symbolism.

Do I need to provide additional quotes where he repeatedly calls Morgoth's rebellion "Satanic"?

>>80425712
>that scene in return of the King where that one orc gets his face smashed with a boulder

>>80426027
He said that in response to people saying that LOTR is an allegory to WW II.

>>80426189
>confusing tolkiens own applicability for his story with allegory

See, you've done it again. You're an idiot.

>>80426189
And before you whine autistically, yes, his mythology is influenced by but not a direct retelling of Christian ideas (he even worried that his version of men falling came too close to being a parody for example). But again, calling Eru God and Morgoth a Satanesque figure is completely accurate.

>>80426257
>>80426189

Tolkien also, in those letters, refers to Eru as the one who writes the story, not Tolkien.

You do not know what you are reading.

>>80426257
So you've once again failed to respond to why anything in this post >>80425328 is wrong and I know realize you never will, you're just a worthless troll. Final response you get.

>>80426342
Because you said LOTR is allegory, it's not, you are factually explicitly wrong.

You are literally factually wrong in saying anything in Tolkiens universe is anything but what was explicitly written. If you cannot understand that simple aspect of Tolkiens writing, why are you reading Tolkien?

>But again, calling Eru God and Morgoth a Satanesque figure is completely accurate.
But that's not what you said, you said
>LOTR is kinda Catholic existential literature.

You wrote of all of Tolkeins work as your own allegory, which is fine, you can do that. But nothing in tolkiens work is allegory, you've used applicability. You say "I THINK", not ERU IS. You understand? There would be no problem if you introduced a little subjectivity into your argument.

>it's catholic existential litreture
Is fucking wrong as shit senpai, just because he was catholic? You understand it's Norse mythology he is playing with?

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>>80413613
He took potato tax wherever he went

>>80426529
>Because you said LOTR is allegory,
no he didn't he was explaining what eru is to a pleb, learn to read u autistic triggered little fgt

>>80426529
>Because you said LOTR is allegory
No I didn't. I see you've added lying to your skills though.

>>LOTR is kinda Catholic existential literature.
I did not make this post (LOTR is not existential for example if you want a disagreement of mine). It however does not say anything about LOTR being allegorical, merely Catholic, as I already provided a quote of Tolkien saying so. The fact that you think all literature that can be described as Catholic is allegorical proves your own deep stupidity. As does this remark:

> You understand it's Norse mythology he is playing with?

Tolkien certainly plays with Norse mythology, but the moral of LOTR is fundamentally Catholic, which is why Frodo both fails at the end, and yet is rewarded and saved.

But you managed to troll another post out of me so good job, I'll just have to close this thread.

>>80426713
>it's catholic existential litreture
Are his words, senpai.
>>80426189
Is a quote attempting to say it's explicitly allegory.

>>80413674
the ring created a time-dilation effect when the hobbits were traveling to Mordor, it only took 13 months in real time but to the hobbits it was about 200 years. Tolkien told me on his death bed

>>80426777
>kinda
reading comprehension, get some

>>80426756
>I did not make this post (LOTR is not existential for example if you want a disagreement of mine). It however does not say anything about LOTR being allegorical, merely Catholic, as I already provided a quote of Tolkien saying so. The fact that you think all literature that can be described as Catholic is allegorical proves your own deep stupidity. As does this remark:
Why the fuck are you even arguing.

Literally follow the comment chain, holy fucking shit. You people cannot be this retarded? The comments link directly back to that fucking comment, seriously. Kill yourself.

>Tolkien certainly plays with Norse mythology, but the moral of LOTR is fundamentally Catholic, which is why Frodo both fails at the end, and yet is rewarded and saved.
>i didn't say LOTR is allegory, but LOTR is allegory.

Holy shit dude, you can keep repeating it all you want, it's not correct. You are a proper fucking moron who jumped in half way didn't say you were a different anon until literally right now and you expected to be taken seriously, end yourself.

>>80426529
>The Lord of the Rings is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work
~J.R.R. Tolkien
>saying that LOTR is catholic is fucking wrong
~some angry autist

>>80426853
Still saying it's allegory.

>it's only kind of allegory
It's simply not allegorical at all. By all means, keep going.

>>80426905
>the lord of the ring is not allegory

>is of course a fundamentally religious and catholic work

>I didn't write this book

All said by the same person senpai.

It's almost as if Tolkien saw his work as something that was given to him (by god) and not written by him to which he has his own subjective views.

how hard do people have to explain this shit?

>>80426929
by my count theirs about 5 anons calling you an autistic retard right now, but sure i'll keep going as well, the idea that you can relate the mythos of lotr to catholic mythos is a very old one and very obvious, if you can't see that cause Tolkien sure could thats really your own problem, if the word allegory is this triggering for you again thats your own problem, please continue tho, its kinda funny now

>>80427067
Here is what you are doing.

>using tolkiens words against me
>denying tolkiens words
>calling me autists

There surely isn't a misunderstanding on your part happening here. By all means, insult me more online, I know I am correct senpai.

>>80426929
"Kinda" in my post reffered to it being existential and I never wrote anything about it being allegorical
t. Anon that wrote the post that triggered you.
it was also my only post in this discussion, you're arguing multiple people

>>80427133
>"Kinda" in my post reffered to it being existential and I never wrote anything about it being allegorical

You understand

>LOTR is kinda Catholic existential literature.
Is literally, explicitly calling it catholic allegory? Are you actually THIS retarded? If you didn't mean to say that, that's all well and good, pick and choose your words better, but you understand I do not know what you are thinking, correct?

>>80427128
haven't done any of that brah he's a quick run down of my posts
>80427067
>80426853
>80426713
>80425852
the rest are some other tolkienbros, and before I trigger your autism again, yes I intentionally didn't give myself (you)s

>>80427246
If you are arguing on their side, you are doing what is said in that post.

You are ignoring Tolkiens words, using Tolkiens words and not even being correct, I mean, keep going you can bump this thread all you want. I literally started using this website when being retarded on purpose was the only reason why people came here, by all means, keep going.

>>80413674
get out

>>80427194
English is not my first language, no, I did not realise that, fuck, calm down dude

>>80427390
>English is not my first language, no, I did not realise that, fuck, calm down dude

>causes argument due to not knowing English
>shit dude c-c-calm down

Maybe learn English?

>>80427296
alright lets try one last time, relating lotr mythos to catholic mythos is completely resonable and largley accurate, in a BROAD sense, especcially when your explaining it to a pleb, if you say Eru is kinda like god and Melkor is kinda like satan, its easy to understand and a good starting point for the uninitiated, you've been triggered over nothing, read though the fucking thread again, you just sound like a whinny child who read similliron for the first time last week or something

>>80427439
>you've been triggered over nothing
Ironic.

If I was triggered over nothing, I triggered you, so what triggered you?

>relating lotr mythos to catholic mythos is completely resonable and largley accurate
It's completely incorrect and non-factual as denied by Tolkien himself. Anyone who holds this point of view when they go into reading LOTR will write it off as Catholic works.

You can say literally, what ever you want. You are wrong though. Funny how no one touched this post
>>80427020
>It's almost as if Tolkien saw his work as something that was given to him (by god) and not written by him to which he has his own subjective views.
>>80426529
>You wrote of all of Tolkeins work as your own allegory, which is fine, you can do that. But nothing in tolkiens work is allegory, you've used applicability. You say "I THINK", not ERU IS. You understand? There would be no problem if you introduced a little subjectivity into your argument.

>>80427436
There was no argument, you took something I never meant to say out of my post because I maybe poorly chose my words which I acknowledged and are arguing against a strawman

>>80427562
wow, reading comprehension just ain't your strong suit huh? ok sperg on little buddy sperg on, are you just really drunk or something?

>>80427612
Kek, you've only just acknowledged the fact you didn't mean to say what you said after the argument. I mean, you can fuck off you know? You don't have to keep posting.

If me being a Tolkien autist is annoying you that much, just go away? Maybe go outside? Hell crack that Tolkien novel.

>>80427660
(you)

>>80427562
>>It's almost as if Tolkien saw his work as something that was given to him (by god) and not written by him to which he has his own subjective views.
No one touched it because thats retarded, Tolkien was speaking about writing LOTR and process of writing it multiple times. Provide a wuote where he says that he in his opinion holy spirit was speaking through him when he wrote it or whatever the fuck you mean

>>80427738
Thought so, get some sleep, maybe you'll understand how fucking stupid your being tomorrow

>>80427823
>No one touched it because thats retarded, Tolkien was speaking about writing LOTR and process of writing it multiple times. Provide a wuote where he says that he in his opinion holy spirit was speaking through him when he wrote it or whatever the fuck you mean

It's literally in his fucking letters.

>The Other Power then took over: the Writer of the Story (by which I do not mean myself), 'that one ever-present Person who is never absent and never named' (as one critic has said).

>>80427825
Kek. Nice try.

>>80427909
Do you have any idea how many authors say something like that? I should clarify, not word for word, I know these things are very triggering for you.

Time for bed maybe?

>live off your fat inheritance in a hobbit mansion
>never work a day in your life
Frodo was fucking hobbit bourgeoisie.

>>80427909
Almost got me, but maybe lets look at the full quote
>Frodo deserved all honour because he spent every drop of his power of will and body, and that was just sufficient to bring him to the destined point, and no further. Few others, possibly no others of his time, would have got so far. The Other Power then took over: the Writer of the Story (by which I do not mean myself), 'that one ever-present Person who is never absent and never named' (as one critic has said).
Tolkien is explaining here that Gollum falling was a divine intervention of Eru, its not a quote about his creative process

>>80428064
Kek. So now you adopting the stance that Tolkien said something which he didn't mean at all? Tolkien was extremely, extremely Catholic, he simply held these views. And you just don't want to be wrong, and you are only now just realised you've been wrong all along.

But I mean, it's okay to be wrong.

>>80428172
He has literally just said that he didn't write this story. He has to be talking about his creative process in order for it to qualify? Fucking kek. He isn't talking about his creative process when talking about allegory either, yet responding to individuals who call it allegory.

I mean, you can stop at any time, you are losing this one senpai.

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>a not comfy lotr thread

Oh its 2AM, I guess its America time. Goodnight.

>>80428172
>almost got me
? wat? Dude what is your damage?

>>80428200
Are you intentionally misreading? Or is it genuine dyslexia?

>>80428356
Count me as someone who has literally no idea what you are saying.

>>80413751
he didn't have a whip

>>80428244
He called Eru writer of the story there because all what happened was a part of Erus song and destroying the ring was his direct intervention, holy fuck how dense are you

>>80428384
Cool let's continue, Odin is like God, Baldur is like Michael, Thor is like Gabriel and Loki is like Satan

>>80428609
Ra is God, Osiris is Jesus, Horus is Michael, Anibus is Satan

>>80428578
He is also calling Eru the writer of the story, not Tolkien. I know exactly what you saying, you are simply being ignorant, senpai. I mean, the song isn't Eru's story, it's the Valar's, especially everything that happened inside Arda, that's Melkor discord. You again, are misunderstanding Tolkiens words because you simply do not understand the canon.

I mean, you asked for the part where Tolkien said his work is divine, I gave it to you. I

>>80428672
Zeus is God, Apollo is Michael, Pan is Satan

>>80418549


None of these really make sense though.

>the eagles didnt care about the struggles of mortal men, yet they flew to Mordor completely unbidden anyway

>saurumon would have noticed the eagles coming, except he didnt when they came to Mordor and casually slapped the nazgul's shit
>the eagles would have been corrupted by the ring in the two hour journey it'd take to get to the mountain despite none of them having it in their possession or having even seen it


The answer to why the fellowship didnt just ride the eagles is because the story would have been far shorter and less interesting if they had.

>>80428609
>>80428672
>>80428790
Let's tie this all together now
Eru is God, Manwe is Jesus, Tulkas is Michael, Melkor is Satan.

Do you get it now you fucking retard? One mythos can easily be used to explain another, the authors intent is irrelivent

>>80428835
Sauron not saruman, the whole point of the attack on the black gate is to 'draw his eye' distract him, thats how the eagels got so close

>>80428744
In the world of lotr, Eru is the writer of the story. All that happened in Arda was part of his plan, Melkors discord as well. And Tolkien in this quote just used a synonyme for erus name, he didnt mean that eru wrote the lotr in our world, he meant that he was the creator of lotr universe you autist. Quote is about how gollum falling with a ring was a divine intervention by eru, the fact that Tolkien discusses what exactly happened there tells youbthatvhe feels that he is the author and feels like one because he fucking explains what he meant

>>80429419
>>80428967
Fucking retard