ITT we write S7 of Game of Thrones

>>80332200

The final scene is a bloated Salsa stuffing lemoncakes in her mouth, flabby rolls of fat drooping over the sides of the iron throne.

The camera pans down slowly to show both littlefinger and Jon worshipping her feet. In the background Arya masturbates quietly in a dark corner and softly cries.

>>80332200
jesus fuck she looks like a tranny
i know casting child actors is a bitch, but still

>you're probably wondering how I got here

>well, let's take a look back

>spins globe around

>shows execution of Ned Stark

>No!, we must go back further

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

>>80332244
*record scratch* "You're probably wondering how I got here" says Sophie Turner over the footage. "Well..."

*flashback to a cold winter's night at winterfell*
"Take out your cocks and compare sizes" commands Stronksa to Jon and CIA. "I need to know who will pleasure me first"
Jon sweats

>>80332200
>Sasa gets naked
>eats a fucking lot of lemon cake
>fucks Jon Snow
>dies of lemon cake overdose

Smirkface comes back and kills everyone.

>>80332244
>>80332350
>Salsa stuffing lemoncakes in her mouth
>eats a fucking lot of lemon cake
good to see you guys sticking to the TWOW source material
>And best of all, Lord Nestor's cooks prepared a splendid subtlety, a lemon cake in the shape of the Giant's Lance, twelve feet tall and adorned with an Eyrie made of sugar.
For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out. Sweetrobin loved lemon cakes too, but only after she told him that they were her favorites. The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more.

>>80332200
Here's how I'd write, thrice double man:
>Dany prepares her attack on the south
>the sand snakes conspire to get rid of her once she gets rid of the Lannisters
>old James Bond girl is 100% on her side
>Yara tries to attack King's Landing from the sea, Euron, now allied to Cersei, destroys her fleet and kills her
>Jaime and Bronn try peace with Tyrion
>Littlefinger wants Jon to go south to destroy Cersei, Jon wants to saty north to fight the walkers
>Jorah arrives at the citadel, Sam cures him
>Jorah protects Sam from his fathers' minions
>Daenerys plans an attack on King's Landing from the air
>Euron brings that horn from the books that possibly can kill dragons
>the Hound and his pals go up north to kill walkers, where they find Melisandre and Bran, who keeps having visions
>Jon hears that Dany has dragons, sends Davos, Brienne and maybe Littlefinger to make an alliance
>Sam finds some way to stop the walkers, goes up north with Jorah to warn Jon
>Daenerys attacks King's Landing, Euron's Horn kills one of the dragons
>the Wall is destroyed by that too
>walkers attack the south
>nevertheless, Dany wins, Cersei gets killed by ANYONE BUT JAIME, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO OBVIOUS although in the actual show Jaime will probably kill Cersei once she tries to explode with King's Landing Mad King Style
>Bronn surrenders the rest of the Lannister army, the Mountain would kill Brienne in combat not happening in the show because it would be anti-feminist and then would be burned by a dragon, Qyburn flies away
>Jaime is killed by Assassin Arya out of nowhere
>EVERYBODY GOES UP NORTH

>>80332419
Is book Salsa supposed to be fat? GRRM writes a lot of fat characters so it's not like it'd be unbelievable

>>80332484
no book sansa is a 10/10 who looks exactly like her mum
most of the female characters gurm writes are 10/10s desu

>>80332484

She's a stronk confident womyn who eats like a hog but is still a 10. She's like a fantasy Gilmore Girl.

>>80332569

Bloater detected

>>80332578
>stronk confident womyn
>struggles not to break into tears when she gets called a bastard
lel

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>>80332469
i like it

Please GRRM make Sansa stay married to Tyrion at the end of the story

It will be hilarious and piss off all the feminists

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>>80332629
well tyrion is one of his favourite self-inserts along with sam so i can see it happening

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Sophie Turner has been STICC since like last fall when they started shooting Season 7

>>80332629
Why do tumblr feminists like Jonsa? Incest isn't feminist :(

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>>80332671

>>80332671

It's all that coke.

She looks better, but I don't want to put a baby up her so much any more.

>>80332627
Thanks, based Ramsay of the Based Boltons

>>80332675
feminists prefer the SanSan ship

probably because it reminds them of their abusive relationship with their fathers

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>>80332200
sophie looks like young aletta ocean

>>80332671
Her face looks a lot better without the fat

Her body is more graceful now, but yeah I prefer girls slightly more thicc

Also those jeans must be fucking huge, Sophie is already a tall girl and those things come up to her belly button

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>>80332752
yeah jonsa is just normie showfag women drooling over kit harrington's manlet abs
sansan is tumblr circlejerking about how sansa is the greatest female character in literature and basically the women >>80332655 in that pic
that's why there's so much more sansan fanart

>>80332829
>tumblr imagines Sandor Clegane looks like that
hahahahaha I'm howling

>>80332947
well he was in his mid 20s or something like that in the books so idk how far off it could be. ofc it's deliberately hiding the fucked up other side of his face

>>80333036
he's 28 in AGOT, older than Tyrion

but anyway, the unburned side of his face is described as very plain, he doesn't look like an anime character kek he is a brute of a man

>>80332519
>most of the female characters gurm writes are 10/10s desu
This.
All females either look like shit or are absolute fluid druids

>>80332469
you forgot about Victarion

Sansa really does crack me up

She's legit just your average britslag, maybe on the more attractive side

But because she's in a huge show people around the world are all pretending she's way hotter than she is.

the finale is a two hour special of Tyrion fucking a dragon

You'll never guess who's on top

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>>80332829
Is that Aragorn's sword?

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>>80333108
ah, don't remember any descriptions like that but now you mention it that would seem to be the case
suppose its just tumblr projecting their fantasies
>>80333135
seems like more of a fantasy literature thing in general. why make your female characters plain-looking when you can write them all as semen-demons?

>>80333150
Too late for him, unfortunately. I didn't read the books, but he seemed cool

>>80333174
well she gets compared to Masie Williams, so naturally she comes out looking pretty attractive

>>80333135
It's a flaw in his writing

according to GRRM the Starks, Greyjoys, Tullys, Lannisters, Tyrells, Baratheons, Martells and Targareyens are all beautiful, handsome families (with maybe an except like Tyrion)

The only great house that isn't beautiful is Arryn and that's because we only have Sweetrobin

>>80333234
well he does have minor things like kike-nosed greyjoys and baratheon women having manjaw. also starks are kinda plain a lot of the time
but yeah other than that there isnt much

>>80333197
>suppose its just tumblr projecting their fantasies
GRRM has had to come out and say this multiple times because of obsessed fangirls

The Clegane family are big and strong, but not good looking, they have peasant features because their grandfather was a kennel master, in Sandor wasn't burnt he would be average looking, but not handsome

Also the relationship between Sansa and Sandor was intended to be disturbing, readers weren't supposed to enjoy it

>>80333277
>kike-nosed greyjoys
I think it was just Theon who said that about Asha and Theon is an idiot desu

>baratheon women having manjaw
you mean Shireen? yeah she isn't good looking but that's because she had greyscale and her mother is a Florent

>>80333316
yeah, its not much, but he does describe some flaws
i guess it sort of makes sense on some level since the great houses have basically had the pick of whatever women they wanted to breed with for a few thousand years
all the incest though... well that's just GRRMGenetics

>>80332469
>Jaime killed by Arya
but he's finishing his redemption arc what the fuck no no non no no no

>>80333423
>people still beliving Jaime will survive Season 6

How can one person be so stupid!?

>Brienne pegs Podrick

>>80333234
Ned, Jon and Arya are never described as beautiful.

And Stannis balding, tall and gaunt. At one point in the books his head is described as a skull with skin stretched over it.

Doran Martel is old and misshapen with gout. The Greyjoys have toucan noses and Edmure and Brynden aren't supposed to be hot shit or anything.

I agree most of them are supposed to be good looking.

>>80333462
Please

I don't even watch it for Tyrion anymore. Tywin and Smirkface are gone too.

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>>80333718
>Edmure and Brynden aren't supposed to be hot shit or anything.
nah man radmure was a tall chad. iirc he and robb were meant to look pretty similar and every girl wanted robb's dick
blackfish was just old

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>>80332829
>>80332947
>>80333036
This is basically how i imagine Sandor Clegane

>>80333718
>Ned
yes but Brandon and Lyanna were, he was the beta younger brother
>Jon
well Ygritte, Val, Melisandre and Alys Karstark all want to fuck him so he must be decent looking
>Arya
She's like 10, she will be when she gets older

>Edmure and Brynden aren't supposed to be hot shit or anything.
they are, the Tullys are a good looking family, they're not described as "hot" because we see them through Catelyn's POV and she isn't sexually attracted to her brother or uncle

I re-read A Game of Thrones recently and holy shit I've forgotten how fucking annoying Sansa is.

Nothing like ending an interesting POV and turning the next page to cringe at the words SANSA in big letters across the top of the page, then having to stumble the dumb thoughts of an idiot 11 year old girl. I don't understand how Tumblr likes her as a character especially when compared to other female characters like Catelyn and Arya, even Daenerys whom is basically George's child porn fetish character creates at least a modicum of interest as opposed to Sansa, the mindless conflict creating character camera. I don't know how she has so many fans that somehow extrapolate that she will do some big important things later on in the series, there is absolutely no evidence to support that she would do this.

What's more, a lot of the misfortune that befalls her as a character is at the very least her own responsibility. She went and told Cersei Ned's entire plan to have her and Arya ferried away from Kings Landing, refuses her fathers wishes at every turn because her own ideas about how people are tells her otherwise. Is easily the most superficial character and most incapable of having her own independent thought as she stumbles from manipulator to manipulator getting played and told what to do. If ASOIAF concludes with her some how being Queen in da north or some similar schlock all we can gather from her entire arc is that being being beautiful and having a famous last name is more important and rewarding than any other qualities or capabilities.

Also Sansa is the dumbest fucking name and I hate GRRM for making me read and hear it so fucking much.

>>80333912
show Sandor is actually pretty close to how she should look, but with worse burns

>>80334008
But also 30 years younger than the show

>>80333997
still a better character than plot-armour arya desu
at least interesting shit happens in her chapters

>>80332200
game of thrones NEEDS more diversity

It's seriously insulting at this point.

r yu ready fo dis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ6CcEOmlYU


game of thrones meets spacejam now?

LOL fuck modern tv shows

>>80332779
This mentally ill sloot was perfect before getting bowling ball tits and face surgery.

sansa getting fucked full force in every hole for 8 episodes
also danny getting decapitated

>>80334473
I'd like to marathon that season

>>80334034
show aged up everyone like crazy, especially the adult characters

You morons do know the plot for S7 leaked months ago?

Also this belongs is /got/ general.

>Sunset found her squatting etc.

Cersei on the iron throne with everyone's head on a spike. Sand sneks are her personal harem.

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do you support sophie's decision to transition to a fulltime chavslag?

>>80332419
>Every Lemon in the vale
That is ridiculous. You would have to order from Dorne. It isn't feasible. Why would CIA go to all of the lords and ask for their lemons?

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>>80336796
she got pregnant and became a hairdresser? great!

>>80332200
AND LEDDY SHANSHA, I SHUPPOSE, SHE'S BENT OVER THE TEBBLE ASH WELL?