>"So I've crunched the numbers..."

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>Uhm, in *English*, Einstein?

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whoa whoa doc, in english please

>frogposting
>2017

>>80236642
>meme arrows
>current A.D.

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"If you kill him, then you'll be just as bad as he is!"

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>characters play DnD
>kills endboss with one spell

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>>80236686
>he never rolled a natural 20 on the last boss as mage

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>character smokes weed out of a bong
>doesn't even clear it after they take a hit
>starts seeing WACKY HALLUCINATIONS "HAHHAHA DUDE WEED REGGAE IM HUNGRY LMAO"

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>Cat appears on screen
>*meow* sound effect
>Cat visibly does not meow

>character throws something off screen
>cat screeching sound effect mixed with crashing sound effect

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>who are you?
>im you

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>>80236879
>B-but how?

>Not "how," but "when."

>>80236997
>if I'm you, and you're here... then who was that?

>>80236879
>Boy am I glad that we're out here he's in there

Where can I meet people with /tv/ humour irl?

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>>80237073
>implying we go outside

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>>80237073
The next HWNDU installation

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>I looked at the data

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>I've got a bad feeling about this

>>80236785
>meows internally

>It's about 3 days hard ride up yonder..."

>It's too hot
>but it's a dry heat

>>80236879
Name seven wonders of the ancient world where this happens

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>>80236554
Zoom
Enhance
Pan right
THERE, right there in the 3rd refraction through the lighbulb and the lake we can see him!

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In E N G L I S H P U H L E A S E

>"So... uhh... who else have you told about this?"
>"No one. Just you."
>"Good..." *shoots other guy*

>and you're other in English, doc

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>"Time for plan B"
>"What's plan b?"
>"Uhhh, RUN!"

>did you hear that?
>hear what?
>it was probably nothing...

>>80240159
THAT WAS PLAN B

>We will need some backup
>don't worry, I know someone

>>80239976
When I see that pic I'm glad she made it.
Her mom looks like a working class woman. Reminds me of my mother.

Wish I could buy stuff for my mom like that.

>>80240188
>"IN PLAN B DOC!'

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>>80240171
>did you hear that?
>...no?
>Exactly

>"It's quiet...too quiet"

>>80236668
Every episode of 24.

>>80236767
Kek

>>80236785
cats are fags

>>80236856
Kek every sitcom from the 90s

>>80236879
>I'm you from the future

>>80237117
stop projecting

>>80238379
GIVE ME BACK MY SHOW!!!

>>80239644
What really is the difference?

>>80239905
I actually like this trope

>>80239976
Who are these slags?

>>80240074
FUUUUUUUUUCK like every episode of Jack Bauer

>>80240171
>>80240259
>>80240286
REEEEEEEEEE

>>80240385
m8 keep that autism in check

>>80240385
I think you may be legitimately autistic

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>horror movie
>jumpscare happens early in the movie but it's actually just a toy/another character/pet/etc

>>80240385
>Character is autistic but not a math genius

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>>80240385

>>80240385
Do you have any independent thoughts? All of your responses are typical newfag core.

>>80240420
>jumpcscare happens
>turns out it was a toy/another character/pet/etc
>real jumpscare happens soon after it

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>>80240385

>>80240385
Dude lol is this the cock rating thread of soc

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>I've hacked into the mainframe

>>80236856
this is a bad thing?

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>they weren't trying to keep us out...
>they were trying to keep something...IN!

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>I don't care where you're from, that's gotta hurt!

>the numbers check out

Fuck does that mean you piece of shit

>>80240171
>what was that?
>searches around for 40 seconds
>dead body with an arrow sticking out its forehead literally two feet away
>sheaths dagger
>guess it was my imagination

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>>80236554
>>80236590
>>80236592
>>80236668
>>80236686
>>80236733
>>80236785
>>80236879
>>80236997
>>80237117
>>80239188
>>80240159
>>80240259
>>80240420
>>80240629
>>80240659
>>80240697

>>80236997
>Not where Mr. Powers, when!

>>80240761
d-don't bully us anon, we're having fun here.

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>>80240385
shut the fuck up

>>80236733
You still have to confirm the crit, and that only doubles the damage

>>80240935
Some people play with looser rules to subscribe to dramatic narrative

>>80240761
hothead pls

>...but I thought
>I don't pay you to think, moron

>>80239905
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF_qQYrCcns

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>I'm not here to save him from you
>I'm here to save you from him!

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>characters are approaching Las Vegas
>"Vegas!"
>cut to aerial shot of the strip that speeds up at first and then goes back to normal speed

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>But if you're here...then who's driving this thing?

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>>80236997

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>>80241074
>But if I'm him... and you're me... then who is he?
>*characters scream in unison*

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>>80241074
>cuts to MC's almost blind grand mother peeking behind steering wheel

>I didn't sign up for this shit
>pulls up the contract
>Uh, actually, you did

>sitcom character with no obvious sign of income
>lives in $10k a month NY apartment

>>80241057
>cut to aerial shot of the strip that speeds up at first and then goes back to normal speed

damn this is crazy accurate

>>80241353
name 4 international treaties where this happened

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>>80236997
>Now "how", but "whom"

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>>80237072
and that's HE'S THE sheriff and

>>80237073
Met a chick who baneposts.

Sadly my autism was too great and she dumped my ass.

Other than that, there are plenty of anons in stem

>>80239905
https://youtu.be/lgJo8fXz1kk?t=6m51s

>>80241683
>Met a chick who baneposts.

I'm going to need to see what a roastie who posts here looks like.

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>"Quick, what's the number for 911?!"

>>80241675
Is that a positive image reaction or negative?

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>>80236997
>Not "how", but "why"

>>80241747
Every fucking time

>>80240629
>*tak tak tak tak tak tak*
>I'm in

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>>80241683
was she a big girl?

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>>80241675
>Not "whom", but "whom'st"

>>80240420
>character sees a cat
>the strings section wakes your neighbours

>>80236686
Plenty possible if you're running splatbooks against a DM that wasn't prepared.

>>80241819
Ha

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>are you ready?
>i was born ready

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>married couple in bed hear a noise downstairs
>husband grabs a baseball bat he keeps by the bed

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>I could tell you.....but then id have to kill you

>>80241848
Fucking nerd lmao

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>>80241872
i actually do keep a baseball bat by the bed

>>80241912
*and lube

>>80241912
>not sleeping next to your security falcon

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>We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.

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>>80241965
>...or the Mexican way

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>I like this kid, he's got balls

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>>80241965
>the beat the shit out of the guy
>"okay okay what's the easy way?"
>"that was the easy way"

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>who wants to earn 5 dollars the hard way?

>>80240935
That specific case applies only to (some) weapons, not spells. Still the target could´ve rolled a 1 on his saving throw for an automatic failure, and if that happens against an instant kill or petrification spell or just a spell that deals enough damage, that guy is a goner.

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>>80242010
>ya got spunk kid

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>>80241965
>Do you want the good news or the bad news?
>What's the good news?
>*trivial thing*
>What's the bad news?
>*Something really bad*

>And this must be your wonderful mother
>...she's my wife

>>80241493
This actually triggers me on the regular

>>80241772
Niggas whoms't shite thyself

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>Hey doc, where are we?
>Not "where", but "werewolf"

>>80242276
Name 50 movies where this happened

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>>80242276
>Hey doc, why are we?
>Not "why", but "whywolf"

>>80241763

Perfect casting. 10/10

>>80241946
Kek

>>80242359
50 shades of grey

>>80240608
How would you know?

>>80240878
For you.

>>80240554
projecting

>>80240450
no u

>>80240449
projecting

>>80240439
I am a math genius though.

>>80240415
>>80240406
projecting

>>80242010
>he's got balls, BALLS

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>fantasy setting
>people living in the same town all have different regional accents

>>80236554
>>80236590
>>80236668
>>80236686
>>80236733
>>80236785
>>80236879
>>80236997
>>80237117
>>80239188
>>80240159
>>80240259
>>80240420
>>80240629
>>80240697
>>80241057
>>80241074
>>80241257
>>80241353
>>80241675
>>80241747
>>80241763
>>80241851
>>80241872
>>80241887
>>80241912
>>80241965
>>80242010
>>80242070
>>80242123
>>80242372
>>80242582

Dumb frogposters

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>you think that was cool? you ain't seen nothin yet!

>>80240420
>>80241819
>character minds his own business
>another character sneaks up on him
>string section
>it's just me, calm down

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>>80242608
Quote this, maggot.

>>80242582
>whole world is the size of one US state
>there are multiple races, languages and accents there

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>>80242608
thanks for the (you) I guess

>character escapes from near death situation
>Holy shit that was awesome! Lets do that again!

>>80242662(you)

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>It was me all along!

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>>80240385
>its a "lost redditor autistically replies to every post" episode

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>>80241044
chrishtttt

>character wipes mist from shower door
>scary dude is standing right on the other side
>character wakes up in bed and gasps

>60+ posters

How are there this many of you autistic buffoons posting this trash? Will you people never cease this tired old dance? How far are you going to take this?

>>80241675
Made me laugh.

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>where and when?
>you name it

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>>80243014
>How far are you going to take this?
>Not "far", but "fart"

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>character scares another
>HAHA! You should've seen your face!

>>80240709
>you picked a bad time to get lost

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>Okay, here's the plan....
>[cuts to different scene]

>>80242668
So exactly like the UK?

>comedy trailer
>character gets hit in the balls
>people in completely different scenes cringe

>>80242768
>That...
>Was...
>...
>...
>AWESOME!!!

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>British woman in American show
>she's black

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>>80243341
>right after a big exposition scene
>''..so, let me get this straight''
>explains the thing again in simple terms

>>80243388
There are other humanoid races than humans in the UK?

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>>80243575
Yes, unfortunately.

>You have no idea how much i hate him!
>Dream sequence where they artistically fuck.

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>scientist character gives lengthy and complicated explanation about what to do
>'so in other words push this button'

>>80243575
Yes, but on the accents, in the UK you can have two very different and distinct accents just a few miles apart. Sometimes each street has an accent.

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>>80242645
How does that shit still happen, that should be illegal.

>>80243671
>*autistically

>>80237073
find a qt twink autist

>Female discovers her boyfriend/husband in a suspicious situation with another woman
>it's actually a totally innocent situation
>"I-I can explain!"
>"NOOO!"
>walks out, its over, breaks up, never listens, divorce, move to another planet.

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>>80243707
>Sometimes each street has an accent

>>80237073
There's plenty at the interracial breeding grounds.

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>>80243707
>Sometimes each street has an accent.
Names 50 streets, mews and crescents

>>80243778
>The other woman is their best friend

>Misunderstanding appears when the main character is caught looking like he's doing something he really isn't
>No wait I can explain
>other character bursts out the door
>main character doesn't just run after the other character and explain the situation, saving us 40min

>>80243778
>>80243844
misunderstandings should be insta 0/10 in storytelling, is there a worse attempt at creating drama?

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>[hacker] I can't get in, this software is ANCIENT!"

>>80243784
>>80243805
I can't, but it is true, the UK has insane accent variety for some reason. At the very least each town has its own accent. The street differences are usually in specific word pronunciations.

>>80243778
>>80243844
Hivemind.

Bruce Almighty is the classic example.

Half the move over Bruce being seen with another woman who physically forced herself onto him.

And Bruce still has to fucking apologise to get her back, why?!?

>>80243707
Honestly I live in North Carolina and it's like that here to some degree, not as extreme, but still.
There's appalachian mountain "rural" accents and more "city-like" accents that you find in college-y hipster mountain towns, then there's regular rural accents in all the empty parts of the state, and then there's a slightly different accent in the coastal towns too.
Most people in my city don't have a rural accent at all until you go out in the boonies, yet if anyone from up north comes here they say we all sound like rednecks, i don't get it.

>>80243921
>Each "street" has their own accent
>Not "street", but "town"

>>80242836
i like it

>>80243971
In the UK, some accents are actually impossible to understand.

>>80244025
In some places, there is a different accent on neighbouring streets.

>>80243971
People don't give enough credit to the variety of American english accents desu, especially between varying rural or northern accents. A lot of it has to do not just with pronunciation, but with the cadence of your speech and local colloquialisms

>>80244122
>People don't give enough credit to the variety of American english accents desu
Because they really arent that different, its just very slight.
It's not extreme like the uk

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>>80242154
Ah, my apologies Mr.Wheaton!

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>>80244110
Fascinating

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>>80244110
In some places, each house has their own dialect

>>80244155
some of them are very different though, it may not be as extreme as in the uk, but for example the difference between a missouri accent and a texan accent is pretty extreme it's just that everyone outside of the bible belt thinks they are the same
just like how people from boston or NY or philly all have different accents too but to everyone outside of that region the difference is only marginal
or the difference between michigan and north dakota accents

all I'm sayin is there is plenty of variety that is usually underestimated

>>80244293
fuck, I meant mississippi not missouri

>>80244110
in some houses each room has specialization of a different house hold function

>>80241912
I have a hatchet myself.

>>80244399
in some houses in the UK, the upstairs people can't understand the downstairs people without a translator

>>80244506
Some Siamese twins speak in different languages

Hey non-americanfags, what does an "American accent" sound like to you? Is there such a thing?

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>character tapping keyboard furiously
>green skeletons start to dance on the screen
>"it's no use, they're counterhacking us!"
>"get the new guy in, he hacked into pentagon mainframe when he was 15 and stole cias tax records"
>quirky hacker girl walks in
>"who said anything about a he?"
>taps keyboard couple of times
>"i'm in"

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>>80245011

>character sees significant thing that could cause problems for good guys
>Meets overpowered character that knows what do about this
>"Is there something you need to tell me?"
>"N..no it's nothing"

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>>80240629
>only 3 people in the world could crack that, how'd you do it?
>I designed it.

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>character gets up, is visibly a normally adjusted adult
>excuse me i have to use the little boys'/girls room

>British characters talking
>"Wot are u saying m8? I canny understand"
>Turns out they live on different streets

>autist is watching a movie
>has to point put every single slightly illogical thing the characters do

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>How can you trust me?
>You just gotta do it.

>Normie is watching movie
>Enjoys it despite it being illogical, poorly written and full of cliches

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>AW HELL NAW
>YOU TRIPPIN'
>SAY WHAAAAT
>YOU'RE ONE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER

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>Great so i'll pick you up later!
>Okay!
>[doesnt set a time]

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how do I stop shitposting guys

>>80240385
This shit will never not be annoying

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>guy has to make a great romantic gesture to win back woman of his life when she left because of a misunderstanding

>>80245424
Lost it

>>80237021
AND WE ARE ALL HERE TOGETHER

>>80236554
>the good the bad the ugly frog
kys

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>oh yeah? You and what army?
>*zoom in on face*
>*smirk*

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>and your other gun
>and the ankle gun
>and the one in your ass

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>>80236662
>"meme" arrows
>using "meme" arrows to shit on someone who did the same
>2017
>"meme"
>"meme"
>meme
>tfw born in the 90's and should neck yourself

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>SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR
>YOU *ARE* A DOCTOR
>OH YEAH

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>>80246311
>character is a dentist
>"that's not a real doctor" running joke

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>>80246348
>character is a phd
>"that's not a real doctor" running joke

>>80246177
That's clearly McCree from Overwatch

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>villain says catchphrase
>hero defeats villain, and makes a pun using the format of their catchphrase

>{character is on the phone}
>{character doesn't pause long enough between responses to simulate an actual conversation}

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>character shoots another character before throwing him out of an airplane

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>>80246583
>"Oh yeah? Well fuck you, you fucking whore"

>>80246567
I WANT /V/ TO LEAVE

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>>80236686

>Spell was Magic Missile

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>175cm actor plays a character who's supposed to be a big guy

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>how do i know i can trust you
>you don't

>>80246703
Get used to it n00b we are here to stay!

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>>80236590
>>80236592

>Character swears
>"Language..."

>>80243233

>Never should've dubshere.

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>KOWALSKI YOU'RE EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED ON THIS CASE I'M PULLING YOU OFF OF IT
>YOU'RE TRANSFERRED TO THE METER MAID UNIT
>Dammit Chief you can't do this!
>Well I just did, now give me your badge and gun

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>>80246984
>character swears
>"pardon my french"

>>80243014
kys my dude

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>>80247056
>and your other badge

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>>80247056
>you're a loose cannon!

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>THE DA'S BREATHING DOWN MY NECK

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>trailer starts
>someone is reciting an old poem/children's song in the background

Why has this become so popular?

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>>80247281
>The newspapers are gonna have a field day with this one

>>80247281
stupid mouseposter

>>80247318

Can you give an example i can't remember this fad

>>80247394
the trailer for the alien ripoff. LIFE or something like that. A lot of horror movies do it as well.

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>Smart character quotes Alice in Wonderland or some high school required reading

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>movie starts with a bible quote

>>80247463
I kinda like this meme though.

>>80247394

Not a movie, but Dishonored had multiple trailers with kids singing schoolyard songs.

>>80247394
I think an Nightmare on Elm Street trailer had one of those.

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>Ok...here's the plan.
>[inaudible whispering]

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>characters hold a secret discussion at normal talking volume less than 10 feet away from the person they're trying to keep it from

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>>80247736

>"You know, I can hear you! I'm standing right here!"

>>80247736
desu i do this when i'm drunk

>>80247056
>ANOTHER STUNT LIKE THAT KLABROSKOGOWALSKI AND YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!

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>>80247582

>if you read their lips you can find out what they're saying to learn the plan ahead of time

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>damnit mcgilligan you're a loose cannon but you get the job done

>>80247523

Those were good tho.

>'im gonna go to the bathroom'
>'ok'
>10 secs later
>' hey you okay in there?

>>80247995
>person starts getting closer to door while the one inside is searching for something

>>80247955

Still a well-worn trope, though.

>>80248024
>open the water in the sink
>'yeaahhh one second'

>>80248070

>person starts humming
>CAN I GET SOME PRIVACY UP IN HERE?

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>how do I know I can trust you
>you don't :)

>>80242070
my fav porn scene

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>characters communicate exclusively with facial expressions
>there are no subtitles to keep the audience aware of what's going on

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>character A recites Bible quote
>character B responds with the correct chapter and verse numbers

>>80248894
This one made me laugh. I can't think of a specific example but I know i've seen this shit

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>carrying paper grocery bags
>baguette is visible poking out the top
>grocery store doesn't even have its own bakery therefore fresh bread isn't actually available

>>80249131
most upscale grocery stores get fresh bread shipped in from local bakeries, fyi 2bh

>>80249243
you weren't paying close enough attention to the film

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>so you've got yourself caught

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>>80249131
>accordion music starts playing

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>>80246865
>So, do we have a deal?
>wait, how do I know I can trust you?
>you don't
>ok, it's a deal

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>>80249131
>walking home through dark alley
>man jumps out
>"hand over that baguette!"
>"...and the other baguette"
>

>>80241493
That's all sitcoms aside from The middle.

>>80248938
Shawshank redemption

>>80241493
>their lives are perfect
>each character has a new sexual partner every few episodes
>they spend their time fretting over little things, like the shape of a croissant, or whether or not peanut butter is actually butter

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>>80247870

>You're off the case
>and your other case

>>80249704
>he doesn't think peanut butter is butter

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>"you're off the case! This is a homocide/FBI/CIA/Secret Service matter now!"

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>w-w-wait a minute, doc
*strums guitar*
>you mean to tell me
*invents skateboarding*
>you built a time machine
*fucks mother*
>out of a DeLorean???

>>80236554
>>80236590
>>80236592
>>80236668
>>80236686
>>80236733
>>80236785
>>80236879
>>80236997
>>80237117
>>80239188
>>80240159
>>80240259
>>80240420
>>80240629
>>80240659
>>80240697
>>80241057
>>80241074
>>80241257
>>80241353
>>80241675
>>80241747
>>80241763
>>80241851
>>80241872
>>80241887
>>80241912
>>80241965
>>80242010
>>80242044
>>80242070
>>80242123
>>80242372
>>80242582
>>80242634
>>80242662
>>80242729
>>80242797
>>80242958
>>80243031
>>80243150
>>80243341
>>80243522
>>80244175
>>80245011
>>80245046
>>80245424
>>80245563
>>80245932
>>80246010
>>80246025
>>80246087
>>80246275
>>80246282
>>80246311
>>80246348
>>80246396
>>80246813
>>80246865
>>80246984
>>80247061
>>80247097
>>80247463
>>80247582
>>80247944
>>80249131
>>80249324
>>80249329
>>80249391
>>80249464
>>80249769
>>80250000
smart frogposters

>>80243522
>British woman irl
>she's muslim

>>80250020
all me

>>80240709
Oblivion was such a fun game.

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>>80240490
>jumpscare happens when character opens locker
>it's a cat
>same jumpscare is obviously about to happen as character approaches an identical locker
>locker is actually filled with blood
>after walking away a jumpscare happens as a dead body falls out of another locker

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>Christmas movie
>"Honey don't do that thing I told you not to do"
>"I'll be fine, don't worry!"
>Hall of the Mountain King starts playing

>phew, that wasn't so bad
>that was the easy part

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>character gets hit in the balls
>"Ooh, right in the (bad euphemism)"
Happens in every animated movie made by a D-list animation studio.

>>80250263
>...and don't call me Phew

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>character simply lifts a gun up
>loud gun cocking noises

>>80250383
>light reflects off of a sharp blade
>*shiiiiiiiiiiing*

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>>80250383
>character lifts up assault rifle
>shotgun sound effect plays

>>80250383
there was an episode of doctor who where this heppened
he kept turning between 2 characters to decide which to shoot & his revolver make a crazy loud clicking sound every time, as if he was pulling back the hammer

So kisscartoon is good for streaming cartoons what is good for streaming Movies?

>middle aged character is preparing for some sexual escapades with his wife later
>that classical opera tune starts playing

>>80249131
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ISOStandardUrbanGroceries

>>80250816
This one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCrKncOpE7Q

>>80250816
i feel like John Cleese would be the male character

>>80250983
I've got an Italian-American, Tony Soprano in silk pajamas type character in mind.

>>80241493
>house is always immaculately clean
>even if its a sitcom about bratty kids

>>80252361
>clutter free houses
this used to be the norm in movies and tv, but they are getting better in recent years in making places look lived in

>>80241600
fuck you I have water in my nose now

>>80244482
a... hatchet?

>Character wakes up from a nightmare, screaming
This isn't even a thing irl, nobody does that.

>>80243871
dramatic irony goes back to the Greeks at least, it's not going anywhere any time soon; people think that because it's time-tested it should be fine to keep using

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>>80252836
>he wasn't in 'Nam

>>80246396
...and I have completed my doctorate which makes me a doctor.

>Sorry, that information is on a need to know basis.
>Well, I NEED to know!

>>80252361
to be fair the actors have to focus on themselves, the sets, the set dressing, the other actors, the camera, the lights, the boom mic, and couple other things, while hitting their marks, and not looking like they're *trying* to hit their marks
it's a prime environment for someone to trip over stuff on camera

>>80239188
I love this one, but only if it's followed by
>You ladies always have a bad feeling about something

>>80250320

>>80250320
Kek

>>80252937
I like this one

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>I'm taking you off the case!

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>2 down, 1 to go

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>it's the ''dad's a workaholic who never makes it on time to the kid's birthday party or schoolplay, and has to deal with a bitching wife on the verge of divorce'' plot

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>>80241965
>I WILL DRINK FROM YOUR SKULL

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>character dreams
>wakes up gasping, sits up

>character is infected during busy action scene
>keeps it a secret from the rest of the group

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>>80256540
>dont make me kill you!
>IM ALREADY DEAD!

>>80241047
Here's my (you)

>>80248099
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3FICPSY6pfk

>>80257327
Thank you (me), you're (I'm) the only good poster on this entire site, I (I) hope the mods read through your (my) past posts and look up to you (me) as a role model

Sincerely,
Me (You)

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>>80245011
>>green skeletons start to dance on the screen

>300 replies
fuck you /tv/ just fuck you

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>>80236686
>characters play D&D
>player casts fireball
>rolls to hit

Great thread.

>>80256225

>character wakes up from nightmare
>starts violently attacking significant other trying to calm him/her down

>>80249131

The baguette thing triggers me so much. Why would you allow your food to absorb dirty city air?

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>>80257367

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>>80247870
>Oh yea? Well you're off the FACE.
>Proceeds to shoot the chief of police's head off.