>be me >first day in film school >bunch of fags and

>>80134353
I fucked your wife and her son in the ass last night

>>80134353
>be me
>first class of film class
>we're going around the room, saying our favorite movies
>my turn
>"Favorite movie? Hmm, probably Boogie Nights."
>teach motions to next person, but I stop him with a gesture
>"But flick? I'd go with The Goonies."
>Film: Suspiria
>Kino: Woman in the Dunes
>whole class is speechless
>teacher motions to me obediently and goes to sit down in empty desk
>I take over at the podium and begin my lesson

>>80134416
>>80134353
>be me
who the fuck else would you be, get out of here with that >>>/b/ shit

>>80134500
>be you
>be a faggot

>>80134396
The son of my wifes boyfriend had a sleepover at his friends house last night

File: 1361219846422.jpg (55KB, 321x340px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 321x340px

>Take film analysis workshop.
>Class of ten with woman lecturer who starts talking about plot development and hero's journey.
>"Implying I watch film for plot" I shout through cupped hands.
>Class glares at me.
>"two thousand and 2017", I tell everyone
>Teacher tuts and starts discussing character development in lord of the rings.
>"Do you even watch?" I shout. "Go back to mew"
>Ginger man to my left tells me to shut up.
>"I bet you haven't even seen Malick or Pee-Tee-A" I tell him
>Class starts shouting at me, asking me to leave. It was all that ginger man's fault.
>I turn back to him
>"Your filthy pleb. I bet you watch superhero and Christopher Nolan films"
>He stands up and tells me to get out.
>"No," I said. "I'm the only real cinephile here. I don't watch for entertainment, you're just a fucking casual"
>He hit me right on the nose, the cartilage cracks, blood sprays over my desk.
>I get up and walk out, grinning to myself at how superior I am.
Filthy plebeians. I bet they're talking about Tarantino now

>professor talks about the premisse of not knowing about the movie youre watching, and how it changes everything
>gives example of a girl who walks home alone at night
>I get excited cause I've watched it, and shout "it's the one with the vampires, right?"
>professor looks at me surprised but at the same time disappointed, saying "well, yeah, but that was a spoiler, you kinda ruined the movie now"

In my mind I tought "was it really?" but inside all I could think about was the shame

>>80134608
Nice variation.

>>80134608
>I bet they're talking about Tarantino now
>Implying tarantino isn't kino

fuck off u pleb

>>80134353
Like a boss, god job OP

Me?
>similarly we go around saying our favourite films
>a few mentions of pulp fiction and schindler's list, one guy even mentions Citizen Kane
>gets to me
>panic
>decide I want to be known as the jokester known for his sarcastic answers
>I simply say "Army Dog"
>smiles expecting everyone to laugh
>no one laughs
>one kid gasps
>teacher has turned visibly pale and is shaking
>at least ten seconds of awkward silence as everyone looks at me in horror
>teacher eventually says that class will finish early today and we're all dismissed
>get expelled the next day
>my appeal is immediately thrown out
A-at least I didn't have to pay uni fees right guys?

>>80134353
>be me
>first day in film school
>bunch of fags and SJWs in class
>faggot teacher goes around asking people for their favourite movie
>everyone gives pretentious pseudo intellectual answers like 'There Will Be Blood and Evolution'
>my turn comes
>'So anon, what is your favourite movie ?'
>stand up assume power stance
>brush my members only jacket back to my hips revealing my polo and cargo pants
>loop my thumbs through my belt
>slighty turn head
>skeptically i remark:
>BANE?

They still think i like capeshit but i only like capekinos

>Be a complete pleb
>Take a film class
>Only me and three other people
>Prof shows us stuff I've never heard about like Metropolis, Lifeboat and Shall We Dance
>Actually learn some cool stuff about set design and narrative structure

10/10 experience. I'm still kind of a pleb but less so. I feel bad because it's obvious he knew a ton but had to dumb the class down for people like me

>>80134915
Anon confirmed for big guy

>>80134416

This always cracks me up.

>>80134608
Holy kek! Are you me?

File: 1480249822291.png (1MB, 892x1106px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 892x1106px

>>80134713
>not recognizing pasta
>sucking Tarantino's cock

>>80134500
>be me
>be browsing teh 'chons on my work break like usual
>see this newfag post (that's you, big guy)
>eyes narrow slightly
>be about to wreck your whole world
>have to talk myself down from it
>relax my iron vice-like grip on the hilt of my modified gun blade
>decide to post this post instead
>decide to spare you a grisly death
You can thank me later....that is, if you live long enough to tell the tale, feh...

>>80134353
>be me
>first day in film school
>bunch of Crowns and Company men in class
>faggot teacher goes around asking people for their favourite movie
>everyone gives pretentious pseudo intellectual answers like 'There Will Be Blood and Evolution'
>my turn comes
>'So anon, what is your favourite movie ?'
>'.......'
>'Your favourite movie anon'
>'........'
>'Do you .... speak english ?'
>*ahhHmmm*
>'Don't be afraid, just tell us your favourite movie then '
>by now the whole classroom has gone silent and is looking at me
>*Peel egg with gloves and put it in my mouth whole*
>'....mhmm nootka sound hmm ahh'
>teacher looks intimidated and his legs started shaking
>'.... never heard of that movie'
>whole classroom looks intimidated by my alpha attitude
>i press play on my iPod
>angry walking music starts playing *walk out of the classroom*
>fast forward 7 months my classmates are still intimidated by me and still don't talk with me

File: BeVeryCarefulNow.png (242KB, 354x576px) Image search: [Google]

242KB, 354x576px

>>80136639
>'I have a use for you'

>>80135203
Most people here are dumb, so it's okay.

I told my film class my favorite was The Shining when its really Chicken Run

File: uptosomething.png (142KB, 236x279px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 236x279px

>>80138587
Never be ashamed. Chicken Run is one of the greats.