Worst theater experience you've ever had?

All the ones involving black """""people"""""

>Black man in front row gets a phone call
>Phone on full blasts
>Answers it
I shit you not
>Ayo wussup brah
>Has a full conversation on the phone for a good 5 minutes at full volume

Black people in theater

Ghostbusters remake

some kid wouldn't stop throwing his crablegs at the back of my head and I couldnt say anything because I was violating the no singles policy

>>80114213
My baseball coach took me and my team to the Jimmy Neutron movie. I thought it would be hilarious to fart in this kids soda because it would add more fizz. Problem is that was the coaches son so I got in trouble for that. I had to do push-ups and the coach pulled down his pants and I had to eat the coaches asshole. I was a bad kid in 2nd grade.

Honest question: Are Americans absolute fucking barbarians in the theatres? I live in Winnipeg, and I have never seen someone use their phone in the theatre, or bring in a crying baby, or whatever everyone is always talking about. Only bad thing is once every 5 movies I see a couple or something is whispering as quietly as possible for a while, and then someone will look at them and they'll SHUT UP for the rest of the movie. I'm genuinely confused at how you can have so many people behave so poorly in a public setting. Idk, maybe Canadians really are more polite.

I only had one and it was very recent.

Guy sat next to me in an almost empty room during Arrival, at least 30 minutes after it started.
He spent like 10 minutes looking for something in his backpack, making a lot of noise.
He finally stopped and pulled a full McDonalds menu from his backpack.
He spent the rest of the movie eating, the smell was awful.
When the movie ended he left before the end of the credits and left all his garbage on his seat.
Yes, he was black.

File: 77.jpg (2KB, 141x90px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 141x90px

>>80114213
Ushers found some Lemonheads I kistered. Had to spend 3 weeks in the popcorn minds.

>>80114213

Some woman with a mental disorder wouldn't stop making yelping sounds during Midnight Special. Her father sat on the other end of the theater, likely so he wouldn't have to deal with it. Multiple people complained, theater employees came in to go see what was happening with the woman. When that happened the father very aggressively ran across the theater to intercept the employees. The entire movie was filled with her loud noises ruining everything and the increasing tension and anxiety of this insane father figure who was basically challenging anyone to be irritated by his daughter.

The guy next to me in Rogue One ate one kernel of popcorn at a time, rustling the bag each time. I couldn't hear any dialogue until he finished his bag just before the first death star laser

>>80114516

Canadian here, I think it's just Winnipeg bro. I live in Kingston and things are okay here, though I usually go for weekday matinees when almost nobody is in the theater, but when I go see movies if I am in Toronto I often have to deal with insanely ridiculous bullshit. I saw Split and there was a gaggle of U of T bitches all snickering and loudly talking and going on their phones to look up theories explaining the movie. Got in a loud argument with them at the end of the movie and they told me and my gf that if we were so annoyed by their behaviour then WE should have moved somewhere else.

>>80114590
That's why you carry a theater mace.

>>80114516

I went to go see Logan with my mom the other day and she started returning a text to my sister midway through the movie. I took her phone away. She's fucking 64

>>80114634
Jesus that's brutal. i've honestly never had anything remotely close to that. Worst thing that happened to me was this kid was trying to explain everything to his little brother during The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and when I told him to pipe down he did. I have a new appreciation for this city now

>go see Arrival
>trailer for Passengers starts
>dramatic music and tension, suddenly there's a scene where the robot bartender wiggles like a maniac and slams his face against the bar and slides it across
>I burst out laughing and the tense music stops
>realize it wasn't supposed to be funny and I'm the only one laughing
>people are actually turning their heads to look at me

I have a bad habit at laughing at inappropriate things but come on. I felt like a retard but the fucking guy glides his head along a bar and collects glasses with it, how is that not funny? It really felt like I was in a theater full of robots.

>>80114817

Yeah I basically thought terrible theater experiences were just a meme. I guess I never have any of them because I basically only go to the movies when I know the theater will mostly be empty.

File: 1329890458905.png (91KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 200x200px

>Be sitting between two friends watching Fun with Dick & Jane
>I'm in charge of holding our large popcorn
>This scene comes on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwG6k8MmAzo
>I'm holding the popcorn between my legs
>Laff
>Squish the bottom of the box so all the popcorn falls out the bottom

>>80114893
I did this exact same thing, I have no idea how that wasn't supposed to be hilarious

I'm super autistic.
The slightest little noise that breaks my immersion will set me off.
I can feel my blood pressure start to rise even if somebody around me is eating popcorn slightly too loud and crinkling the bag a lot.

I mostly avoid this by waiting about a month or so after release to see a film in the theater, by that time most of the kiddies, niggers, and plebs are long gone. The theater is nearly empty except for maybe a few old people.

>>80114893
It was funny, my friends and I were the only ones who laughed at that as well

>>80114901
Most of the movies I go to are pretty full and everyone still has etiquette.
>amerifats btfo or something

Watching Hanna,9:30pm show, Sunday night a Mexican family with three kids under 5 and a new born baby infant stroll in 10 minutes late. Little kids run up and down the stairs and across the front of the theater the whole movie. Baby cries randomly about 6 times, but they usually take it out and bring it back in. Finally get to the last scene of the movie when title character is saying her last lines before executing her opponent, sand baby starts screaming. Still have no idea what she says at the end of the movie.

In Arizona we don't really have black people. We do have Mexicans. Unlike blacks, they seem to be aware when they are being terrible, but its 50/50 if they care enough to stop.

>>80114516
I'm American and I haven't had anything like this happen in years, but I also don't usually go to movies at normie hours. I imagine it happens a lot more frequently between 5 and 9pm and especially on weekends. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie in that time slot. I always see movies after 10pm on weekdays, or rarely during the day.

my SO was blowing me off near the end of rouge one and this old couple were just staring annoyingly. So I get up and walk over to them, dick still hanging out, cum dripping.. I stood for maybe 3 minutes, no one saying anything, the old guy's squirming, he goes to open his mouth but I've already tapped him with a jab, good night, the audience cheered and the old woman finished the blowie

>go to see movie with marine buddy
>group of 8 urban youths getting up and running around and shouting during movie
>have to be level headed and not let him start a fight because I've got a bunch a weed on me
>shit movie, shoulda let him fight

>fingering GF in nearly empty theater while watching Rogue One
>the only other people are an old guy and two old woman
>GF pulls out my cock and starts stroking it
>Old people fall asleep
>GF starts sucking my cock
>couldn't nut for some reason
>old woman wakes up and turns around seeing my GF sucking my cock

Was a bit awkward desu

>>80115439
>SO

fucking FUCK OFF reddit.

I watched Logan today and enjoyed it. I felt guilty throughout though because virgins on/tv/ had complained about swearing and nudity which ultimately made me dislike it because I was nostalgic for my virginity

I saw Hitch and some woman brought her kids. They were running around and annoying people. The lady got into a fight with another woman who complained to her

>>80115366
Tuesday matinee is the patrician move.

File: 1488646195283.jpg (60KB, 878x814px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 878x814px

>>80114213
>go to see Logan with my brothers
>get to the ending scene
>in the silence there's some bitch wailing like a child
>based guy yells at her to be quiet

To be fair it made me well up, but come on.

>>80114590

and u didnt bash his skull in with ur mace?

2 niglets talking thru the whole movie

>>80115787
I bet you were drinking milk you racist fuck.

>>80114213
One word

Black people.

>watching the trailers before a movie
>suddenly a red dot from a laser pointer appears on the screen
>some guy screams I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MURDER THE PERSON WITH THE LASER POINTER IF THEY DONT STOP
>laser pointer isnt a problem the rest of the way

File: 1478379901201.jpg (32KB, 405x266px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 405x266px

>go to see Suicide Squad
>projector shits itself and the movie doesn't start
>wait 45 minutes for them to move us into another theater
>they shove the 50-something~ of us into a tiny shitbox theater nestled in the dirtiest corner of the cinema
>have to watch one of the shittiest movies ever made while sandwiched inbetween a neckbeard who smells like cheesedick and a small asian kid who wouldn't stop trying to sneak sips from my raspberry icee

File: 1488741187763.jpg (6KB, 250x181px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 250x181px

>>80115911

>>80115933
>''watching'' lalaland starring hunky ryan gosling
>all of a sudden my falcon gets agitated
>someone has over-seasoned their crablegs and the scent of desert dried paprika has set my falcon off
>rise up out of the kino hammock, to calm my falcon rental, knock over my anvil and squash my only cucumber (which was ''aiding'' my enjoyment of hunky ryan gosling - star of lalaland)
>well, long story short, i had to use my salty fingers and now i have a yeast infection.

I was watching SW7 and suddenly all the lights and the screen went down, everything dark. I thought I died because I have severe anxiety.
It was actually an energy blackout caused by torrential rain.

>>80115911
Unironically his. I don't like being a racist but goddamn does living in the southern US make it easy.

>>80114893
Well considering how laughably bad Passengers was no harm no foul

>>80114213
Watching Batman V Superman, opening night, offered to take my family to see at, as a couple members love superman.
We decide to sit on the first at the bottom, the theater starts filling in and, 3 Arab men sit next to us. Throughout the whole film they were constantly checking their watch and phone, all 3 of them had black packs, and they talked through the whole movie in Arabic, something of that descent. One of them kept resetting their watch timer, I watched them through the whole movie, as they were quite suspicious, they angled their bodies so I couldn't ever tell what was on their phone. When it came to the bombung scene with Scoot Mcnairy, all three simeoultaneously laughed, for maybe 5 minutes. After that they kept checking behind them and the exits, through the whole film. There was another man next to them, whom I made eye contact with quite a few times, he made a signal to me, like he was freaked out.
By the end of that film, that man on the end bolted out of the theater, I got my family out of there, as they were freaking out a bit(I told them what was going on during the movie). I still feel stupid for telling the theater staff, all I cared about was leaving. Something inside me told me not to trust them, they did nothing that night, but they were acting very suspicious.
I almost forgot, one of them tried to open their bag, and the other 2 guys freaked out and grabbed and closed the bag. I never really knew what was in those bags, but they looked really heavy.

>>80116280
Sounds like you got PRANKED

>>80115329
I don't remember the line specifically but she says the same thing she said to the elk at the start of the movie

>>80114410
I'm sorry

Happened just today but went into Logan and could barely hear some of the dialogue due to some fucking kids squeaking their chairs and one autistic fuck laughed at Logan's death scene

>>80114233
>>80114309
>>80114403
>>80115787
>>80115911
i sense there's a pattern here

>>80115574
Not for me. Tuesday is discount day and last time I checked theater seatage it was almost full, at like 1pm on a Tuesday (theater has online reservations)

>>80115060
Lol when I go I always make sure to crunch my popcorn bag and be loud as fucking possible. Sometimes I sit in the back with my bros and throw skittles at people in the front. Glad to know it triggers faggots like you LOL

>>80117025
Clowns like this get the mace.

>>80114213
>Worst theater experience you've ever had?

Two teenaged girls howling at everything "cute" Marky Mark and the little chimp did in Planet of the Apes.

I was probably the same age, but goddamn they wouldn't shut up.

>>80117025
>my bros
>triggers
>LOL
Reddit is over there ---->

>>80117129
shut up stupid bitch, that's what you are. Nothing but a little bitch heh

File: lizard.webm (3MB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 480x270px

This woman did a smug one-syllable "Hmm" laugh about every 30 seconds.

It wasn't even a comedy

>>80114590
>forgetting your theatre mace

you were asking for it m8

>>80114893
I generally give people a pass for laughing as that's hard to control. Unless you stand up, hop around and laugh like a kang then it's all cool

this wasn't that bad but when I went to see Logan the other day, there were these 4 high school aged kids that came in and sat next to me, and throughout the movie, anytime something remotely emotional or sad started happening, they started giggling and making fun of the movie. it was kind of annoying but it mostly just made me aware that there's a weird societal conditioning for a lot of people where they just instantly reject anything involving emotions because it's "totally gay" or whatever. i may have done the same thing at their age, probably did. oh well that's why i don't usually go to movies on opening weekend.

File: 1488180008250.jpg (95KB, 909x942px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 909x942px

In Civil War: My worst was this gross white guy who seemed like he'd fit right in on this board. He smelled like his skin was rotting into his week old clothes. Whenever something from the comics would happen he'd giggle satisfied to himself and say (to himself, loudly) what the comic reference was. He kept breathing heavy and dropping juicy sneezes and I spent the whole movie leaning towards my friend for fear of catching a disease or accidentally rubbing his flesh off

>>80115471
>being friends with a marine

Did he holler SEMPER FI throughout the film? Seriously, marines are glorified niggers. Armybros and Navybros are much better

Robbin Hood in 2009. I'm sleep in the minute 45.And when I went to watch Avengers Era of Ultron because there were a lot of idiots bastards who did not shut up and shit of the theater was a shitty audio.

Whenever I see popular film and the theatre decides to do that assigned seating horseshit, I know I'm going to have a terrible time. Whoever thought that was a good idea should be executed. The first 15 minutes or so are virtually guaranteed to be ruined by people looking for and arguing over their seats.
Also, when I saw Spider Man 2 in they were unable to dim the main theatre lights for the first hour of the film, so it was just a bunch of people in the audience yelling "LIGHTS" at no one in particular while we sat in a bright ass room watching the movie.

American cinemas sound legit fucking horrible, why does anyone even bother? Worst I had was some Indian dude farting which was just kind of hilarious.

>>80117224

sauce on webm?

File: 1465794419106.jpg (21KB, 453x345px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 453x345px

>>80115911
>Watchmen first week
>theater is pretty crowded
>first scene with Dr Manhattan's blue dick
>few people quietly giggling
>then obnoxious niggers start howling
>AAAAHHH DIS NIGGA GOT A BLUE DICK
>does this everytime its on screen

Want to start hating black people? Live around them.

>>80117494
Fucking gross poo people

>cineworld in the UK
>Before every movie there's a cineworld advert showing audiences faces light up in slow motion in extreme close up as they're watching a film, meant to show how going to the cinema is so awesome because look at all the reactions these people are having (bongs will understand what I mean)
>Cuts to one reaction of a very smiley black man
>Immediately burst out laughing for reasons I can't explain
>All my friends and random strangers in the cinema turn to look at me in confusion
>Literally everyone thinks I'm a racist or something
I don't know why smiley black men make me lol
>

>live in Brazil
>here the dubbing guys are a bit famous
>go to watch Andrew's Garfield first Spider man with my aunt and her husband
>aunt's husband knows the name of several guys of the dubbing
>i have to put up with him the whole movie, speaking the name of the people who did the dubbing in Portuguese
I'm brazilian dubbing fan too, but since that day, i only see movies that are subtitled in the theater

>>80114213
>watching movie
>random bitch behind me thinks pushing on my chair like a retarded child on an airplane is okay
>push back on the seat
>she pushes back
>get into a battle for comfort
>hear her grab her drink
>release all tension on the chair
>she spills her drink on herself
>walks and calls an attendant on me
>they kick me out of the movie even though she was being a bitch
Tried to explain to the fuckers, but they wouldn't listen. It was sort of worth it, but she got the last laugh basically.

>>80117858
At least you weren't taken to the popcorn mines.

that one time I worked in one for six months

I thought free tickets would be fun, turns out cinemas are fucking awful places to work

>>80114483
Wait what

>>80116387
Should be "I missed your heart"

I don't even remember the movie, but the theater was full and I had to sit at like the edge of one of the front rows. The whole screen is distorted from my seat and the experience is garbage. It's strange that those seat even cost the same as a normal seat. They should be like 5 dollars, it's only slightly better than a cam.

>go to see Godzilla (2014)
>get there early with my sister, and an old couple sits next to me, not even skipping a seat
>during any scene with some amount of action the wife would exclaim, "oh wow!" or some other bullshit
>goes on for entire movie
I should've moved though so that's what I get

>>80114893
me and my friends laughed at that too, it looked absolutely ridiculous especially with the shrill music

>this whole fucking thread
This is why i don't go to the theater anymore and watch all my movies in the comfort of my own home.

>>80114213
The one I saw after they switched to digital from 35mm. Can only stand watch "imax" now.

Anyone work/has worked at a theater? What's it like?

File: abstract kind of hell.jpg (61KB, 854x859px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 854x859px

>>80120556

>>80120556
Yes, I'm >>80118145

It was fucking awful. The owner was a lecherous old bastard who skimmed money off the staff's wages, the manager hated movies, the customers were exclusively hipsters, and I never want to smell cheap salsa dip ever again in my fucking life. That sugary, vinegary stench will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.

Free tickets can never compensate for the shit you endure as front of house at a movie theater.

Probably when I went to see BvS a few days after release

There were a fair number of families with their kids, a lot of them were well behaved except the kid in the row in front clearly got bored and started playing with his phone. Took like 20 minutes before the parents eventually told them to put it away. But later after martha gets abducted and superman starts talking to lois, the little girl a few seats to my left asks her mom "is superman going to be okay?"

Obviously after the fight scenes are over and supes starts picking up the spear we could audibly hear her sobbing, so by the time I left the cinema I just felt horrible.

>>80114431
What do you mean, "no singles policy"

File: IMG_1082.png (906KB, 600x776px) Image search: [Google]

906KB, 600x776px

>>80120921
That's sad. Why do we have to endure some brooding, terrible Superman? Why can't he be a happy symbol of hope? Making him edgy doesn't make him "mature".

File: 1445296377022.png (117KB, 304x333px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 304x333px

>Watching The Grudge
>Gets to the scene where she's on the bus and Kayako's face appears in the window briefly with the noise
>Immediately stand up and let out a high-pitched scream mixed with naturally deep voice
>Scariest moment in the history of cinema, and NOBODY else got scared
>Girl in front of me curling her lip because I'm pissed myself

>>80117413
W-what

>buy movie ticket online
>go to the movies
>hire a prostitute to get by the no-singles policy
>guard eyes me suspiciously but lets me through
>see a manlet arguing with the guard at the entrance because he doesn't fit the minimum height requirement
>he's glued 5"x5" rubber blocks to his shoes and gelled up his hair to look taller
>he tries to make a run inside but trips and falls
>a couple on the other end of the lobby get crushed by his thickly gelled hair
>get to the ticket ripper who is a blind deaf and dumb autistic boy with no legs
>"UUNNGGG UNNNGG UNNGG"
>try to explain I bought my ticket online
>his wildly swinging arms grab onto my phone I'm holding out with my online ticket
>he tears my phone in half and hands it back
>a robotic toned voice says "THANK YOU HAVE A NICE DAY"
>take a shower to freshen up while she gets crablegs, lobster tails, and bibs
>I come out and she's nowhere to be seen
>oh shit oh shit oh shit
>well I got this far
>sneak through to my theater
>find a seat
>someone tries to sit and I say it's reserved for my girlfriend who is in the bathroom
>they glare but move on
>"ALL RISE FOR OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM"
>sing along while people look at me from the corner of their eye
>the ushers bring in a bald eagle to fly around the room as everyone claps
>CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
>the theater shooter gong sounds
>everyone starts chanting USA USA USA and clapping(edited)
>CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
>"ATTENTION everyone. We have a special birthday boy! Little Timmy is 12 years old today and gets the honors of getting shot first."
>turns out Timmy is a Make-A-Wish kid with cancer, so the theater shooter comes out dressed as spider man
>theater shooter moves onto the rest of the theater
>finally hits me in the chest
>CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
>I clamber back up although my chest is heavily bruised
>everyone stops and I hear collective gasps
>the lights turn on immediately
>"SOMEONE CALL 911"
>get arrested for wearing a bullet proof vest and thrown into the popcorn mines

>>80121252
>live day to day having to fend off the theater's lion mascots
>one day during daily penis inspection, I make a break for it
>"STOP THAT PATHETIC VIRGIN"
>people start chasing after me
>the staff run over to a pedestal and remove an idol, unleashing a giant plus sized american rolling after me
>the freedom sized american crushes theater patrons as I run
>I forgot how long I've been running for
>I just ran and ran
>I've made it to one of the local villages on the outskirts of the condiment bar
>I'm a wanted man and I see wanted posters all over
>feel around in my pockets and find a couple dollars. It's all I have now
>hire a local native boy to ferry me back to the entrance so I can get home
>days pass, my guide catches malaria as we go through the marshes and dies
>I have to navigate and end up getting lost several times
>I finally get to the exit and run towards freedom
>I push open the doors and feel the warm sunlight on my face
>a random black man pulls a gun
>"EAT LEAD WHITEY DIS FO TRAYVON BROWN O WHATEVAH DAT NIGGA'S NAME IS"
>get shot
>everyone starts clapping around me and walking closer
>my vision fades to black as I'm surrounded by clapping onlookers

I saw Paranormal Activity 2 in theaters. It was filled with 12 year old girls and "screamers" who couldn't shut the fuck up for the life of them.

Ruins the entire experience for me when pre-teens on dates use horror movies as an excuse to put their arms around screaming wenches.

>>80121009
Haven't you been to a kinoplex before? The kid got his crab legs from the theater merchant and was probably getting bored of waiting for the theater shooter.

>>80120921
I feel sorry for any kids who were brought along to MoS or BvS, they always looked so bored.

>>80121310
>goes to horror movie when school is out
>complains about being screaming

>>80121408

I realize my mistake and pretty much don't watch horror movies outside the comfort of my own home anymore, but that was the eye-opening experience.

BvS. Nothing too bad. Just that the cinema people didn't turn off the lights until maybe 30 min or so in.

>>80117314
Was it you

>>80117224
What's a hmm laugh?

>>80117529
That's hardly a reason to hate someone... Let go of the hate.

File: 8liW1A7bZFll.jpg (32KB, 594x325px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 594x325px

>>80114483
>I had to eat the coaches asshole

I once went to an anime movie at a tiny cramped art theatre

You can guess the rest

>>80121715
Did they confiscate your falcon?

>>80114516
Every bad american stereotype comes from minorities

>Americans are obese!
>actually without black women, it's the same as Europe
>Americans are loud at the movies!
>actually all of them are black
>Americans are violent!
>actually without blacks and mexicans the murderrate is the same as Switzerland

>>80121715
Why? You must have known 99% of people who would want to watch an anime film in public are terrible.

File: 1457633122386.png (40KB, 152x254px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 152x254px

>Sister lived by a hentai theater in Portland
What's the point of a hentai theater? Do you not have internet? Do you crave a paper-thin plot and low-budget animation?

Went to 2 Fast 2 Furious with my buddy from college, I had just introduced him to weed so we had smoked a couple joints on the ride over. I guess it hit him really hard so all of a sudden he lay down on the floor during the opening advertisements. Super embarrassing for me but luckily no one was there. Well, a group of people comes in and I tell him to get the hell up, but he pops up all suddenly and shit and it totally looked like he was blowing me. Dude even made a comment about it before sitting down in front of me. Then I had to sit there embarrassed as shit for two hours. Made sure to sneak out before the credits.

>>80121783
It was some artsy-fartsy shit, not Madoka Recap Movie 2
There were a lot of old skinny jews with young girlfriends, who go to these kind of places, they were more confused than I was

>>80121755
No, but it was ate. The fat woman next to me grabbed him and chew a slice out like he was a turkey leg

File: IMG_3186.jpg (15KB, 260x193px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 260x193px

>that one guy who laughs incredibly loud when everyone just chuckles

Fucking awkward, this is during Manchester by the sea as well.

>>80117606
It's alright anon, I did the same thing but my mates laughed with me

File: SmilingMalcolm.jpg (112KB, 600x746px) Image search: [Google]

112KB, 600x746px

>>80121767
>repressing your emotions like the little Anglo faggot that you are

Live a little

File: IMG_3187.png (42KB, 200x274px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 200x274px

>>80117606
You were probably thinking he was a minstrel,

>>80121715
Outside of childhood, I've only seen two anime movies in a theater, Evangelion 2.22 and Wolf Children. In both cases the audience was civil, chill and surprisingly mostly over the age of 18.

I'm hoping this is still true when I see Koe no Katachi next week.

>watch Hidden Figures
>black family sits next to me
>they hoop and holler whenever Katherine talks to coworkers
>they clap and hoot whenever Katherine is with her kids
>they throw their fucking popcorn and spill their damn soda everywhere
>like a bunch of monkies
>yell at them to shut the fuck up
>father starts bitching at me about "whiteness" and "privilege"
>everyone else in the theater is shushing us
>black kid laughing at me for making a scene
>grab the little shit and throw him at the screen
>parents rush me
>punch their monkey faces and run for it
>manage to run home without getting caught

Fuck Hidden Figures.

Literally happened tonight with me while seeing Logan with my friend.
>Logan fights drunkenly in parking lot
>"HEY ANON, WHATS WRONG WITH WOLVERINE?" (As if the talking during the movie shit wasn't bad enough, he has no lower volume to his voice)
>I whisper some response as quick as I can so he'll be quiet
>he sees the bad guy get in the car with Logan
>"IS THAT GAMBIT?"
>"no, it's not."
>2 minutes later, when he sees Prof. X
>"WOAH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? IS HE CRAZY OR SOMETHING?"
>give half-assed, hushed response again
>another 2 minutes later
>"WHO'S THE GIRL, ANON?"
>tell him to shut the fuck up and watch the movie

Also, to a lesser extent, since previews aren't technically the movie itself, he'll have to give his (loud) input about whether that movie looks good, or whether he's interested in it or notduring the previews. Does anyone else have friends like this?

>>80122154
>father starts bitching at me about "whiteness" and "privilege"
You never met a black man in your entire life

>>80122180
My Grandmas are like this.
Does your friend wear floral print mumus?

>>80122246
No, I'm pretty sure he's non-meme autistic to some degree though

>>80121715
Portland?

>>80122304
Eastern Europe

>>80117494
It's the only socially acceptable setting to use your THEATER mace.

>>80114516
>Winnipeg
lol

Teenagers talking incessantly behind me.

I got up and told them to shut the fuck up or I'd beat the fuck out of them.

They shut up -- it was a good theatre experience, not a bad one. :)

>>80114213

I had an autistic guy behind me making noises constantly, not talking /tv/ autistic but actual legit on the spectrum with flailing arms and loud sounds which he couldn't help making.

It would have been so much better if a normal person were being obnoxious but since it was someone who couldn't help it i had no legitimate reason to be angry at him so my experience was ruined.

>>80114213
Watching Boogeyman with my dad when I was 14, we're enjoying the previews when a group of 3 other teenage boys walk in and sit behind us. During the preview for Cursed, they're making all kinds of unfunny, predictable jokes between themselves and giggling like faggots. As the movie starts, a group of 3 teenage girls walk in and sit in front of us. Dudes behind us immediately start "hollerin" at them, eventually move up a few aisles and sit with them, soon the movie is ignored completely so they can just flirt and bullshit. Goes on for 30 minutes until my dad and other patrons yell at them to leave, which they did. I know Boogeyman is a shit movie, and they all probably got laid while I watched it, but come on, people paid for a movie, not to hear you guys be typical teenage buttfucks.

>>80115495

>lel muh sekret klub XD

>sneak in half-pint of rum in my jean pocket
>pour it into my soda
>go to toilet half way through film
>come back
>kid sitting next to me is throwing his guts up
>my drink is on the floor next to him

And then mom had the fucking nerve to blame me and get me kicked out of the cinema.

>>80114516
I thought it was compulsory to watch only Guy Maddin movies in Winnipeg? Is that true? Also Winnipeg is a frozen shithole.

>>80114893
I went to check the trailer to see the scene you were talking about and I laughed out loud too. I'm with you, man. The trailer definitely intended for that to look uncanny and creepy, though.

>Go to the theater alone
>Straight from work
>Late night showing
>Theater is pretty empty
>Go to the bathroom to change since my boss has a fit if someone uses the work shirt with the store logo outside the store
>Take my work shirt off outside of stall, it's the men's room anyway
>A girl got mixed up and was in one of the stalls thinking she was in the women's room
>She comes out while I'm shirtless
>I'm moderately /fit/, but nothing impressive
>She gets flustered, things get awkward as fuck, she bolts out of there while I rush to put my shirt on.
>Later walk into the theater
>As fate would have it, she's seated next to me
>She recognizes me
>I recognize her
>It's awkward
>Feel compelled to try to break the ice
>Rationalize the best way to go about it is through humor
>Joke that she didn't wash her hands
>I'veMadeATerribleMistake.avi
>She looks mortified, shuffles a bit and changes seats
>Felt like shit for the rest of the movie

>>80121767
all the negative American stereotypes come from the bible belt states.

Fat, stupid, religious

look at a census map and see how fucking dense the fat stupid religious cunts get in the bible belt states.

Although the pussified Americans dont come from there they come from dem voting border cities filled with immigrants

>>80114213
I went to oe once and a bunch of gypos came in and played football in the cinema throughout the whole film. I got a refund on it though so it was alright in the end I suppose

File: IMG_1983.jpg (649KB, 1532x1024px) Image search: [Google]

649KB, 1532x1024px

A buddy and I went to see a movie during a College break

> invite him to go see Hacksaw Ridge even though I already saw it but I liked it
> we pass by a dollar tree and load up on snacks, I hide a couple cans of soda in my inner jacket pockets, he hides two boxes of sour patch and Swedish fish in his sweatpants pockets, and finally I have to stuff the pack of red vines down my jeans and we head out
> enter the theater, find out Hacksaw sold out. I ask if he wants to see anything and he said "Moana"
> I say fuck it, I haven't seen a innocent kid flick in a while
> we buy our tickets and 5 theater hot dogs and sit down
> theater is almost packed with families and movie starts
>we eat our hot dogs, drink our sodas, finishes our boxes of candy so now it's time for the red vines
> the seats at the theater are recliners and my legs being raised pushed the red vines Down to one of the pant legs
> have to unzip my jeans and pull em down a bit to reach and make a fuckton of noise rustling as I brought them up.
> open them quickly and pull and adjust pants right up sweating from the realization of that if I were caught I'd be a sex offender for trying to masturabte in a full theater during "Moana"

My dad had cooler experiences, he snuck in some tacos during Rouge One and the Asian guy sitting next to him had brought fried rice and they traded throughout the whole movie

>my turn to do the ddr stage to unlock the next 5 minutes of the film
>screw it up and have to sit in the dunce corner for the remainder of the movie
>cinema queen laughs at me and the head of the 2017 kinoball team throws his kinoball at me
>on my way out the farmer makes me replant the whole field of corn
>forgot to get my parking validated

File: 1439589580469.jpg (29KB, 636x466px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 636x466px

>>80114213
>went to see john wick 2 with my friends
>in the VIP section of the theater where waiters bring in food
>they're not supposed to bring in food and drinks in the beginning of the movie
>they did it anyways
>within the first 30 minutes of the movie, at least 20 people walked in front of me. either waiters, or people late to the movie, or someone going to the bathroom.
>one of my friends was fucking hammered and obnoxious throughout the whole movie.
>some lady in the theater laughed at EVERYTHING they said in the movie. it didn't even have to be funny.

basically i couldn't even watch the movie, shit was annoying senpai.

Is it just the cinema that I go to that no-one ever laughs at films? Even comedies will get at most a chuckle out of people. It seems weird to me that so many of these stories have people laughing obnoxiously when I don't think I've ever been in a cinema where people have properly laughed.

>>80124685
Bible Belt states have the highest population density of blacks in the US.

File: X-Men_Origins_Wolverine_01.jpg (349KB, 749x985px) Image search: [Google]

349KB, 749x985px

>Went to see this with 3-4 friends
>Only people in the whole theater watching this piece of shit
>I just end up laughing and talking shit about it the whole time
>Friends hate me and thought it was a great film

>>80114649
>>80115751
>>80117226
>Not just spraying him with the theatre mace
Is the can really hard enough to do damage?

>go to the theatre to watch Logan
>some black sits next to me and almost immediately falls asleep
>this should be quiet, then, at least, I think
>some other guy comes and sits next to the sleeping black
>pulls out, I kid you not, a little screen and some remote controls
>he pulled it out of a docking device that loudly scraped the screen
>"wahoo*bing*yahoo"
>I could see lots of dead pixels on the screen
>everyone stares at him except the black who is still sleeping
>the usher comes in and tells him to turn it off his toy
>he screeches that it isn't a toy and refuses to turn it off
>theatre turns sharply and the toy flies out the window

File: SensibleChuckle.gif (992KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

992KB, 250x250px

>>80125271
>>theatre turns sharply and the toy flies out the window

>>80114213
Made the mistake of going to the Cinema with gf on a Monday. Turns out Monday is senior discount day. They bus in these old folks dressed like they're going to their last church service. Okay whatever. Go see Force Awakens. It's packed. Hate crowded theaters. Plus one of the old folks smelled like shit. Probably pooped their pants. Someone else smelled it and kept spraying perfume to try and cover it up. Smelled like shit flowers for 2 hours.

>>80115911
Oh, please. I'm black myself but here where I live it's usually white teens who shit up a movie for me. Happened with the very first time I saw The Dark Knight. Went with a group of four, Theatre packed and reverently quiet, save 3 white teens, 2 girls and one douchebro who just COULD NOT STOP talking.... and texting.... and taking pictures, and the girls kept lying on each other making a big scene out of being young and free and wild spirits who lived in the moment. you know the type, they dance in the rain and stand still so that perfect flake of snow lands on their nose. It was enough that I had to say something, but since they were kids and I'm not a hard ass, I was nice. Not enough. But I can't invalidate your statement altogether, honestly...it's not blacks that's the problem, it's niggers. Take it from a brother who knows, they shit up everything.

>>80125613
Nigger means black, from the Latin "never". You are a nigger.

Some 13 year old bitch in a group of girls was breaking up with her boyfriend over the phone and they were just climbing on seats and talking the whole time. Went and complained mid-film, and the theatre just told me sorry. They didn't even send anyone in. I just left like 10 minutes later.

Going to see Juwanna Mann
That's the whole story, movie was fucking awful

>>80125613
you sound like an uncle tom to me you coon
>douchebro
kill yourself

>theater mace

>go to see Pokemon: The Second Movie
>they play opening scene of Scary Movie instead to a theater full of kids
>fix film when someone complains
>parents murmering for rest of film

>>80125632
To you, of course. Stay anonymous, my brave little toaster.

>>80125700
You've never read that book, have you?

>>80114213
anything in a black theater
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNHnWufo0UI

>>80115439
Did you return the favor and give your gf a blowjob too?

>>80125791
YOU'D NEVER SAY THAT TO ME IN REAL LIFE YOU COWARDLY LITTLE NIGGER.

>>80125859
Hey, fight me in Overwatch right now.

>>80125870
I don't play pleb games, nigger.

>>80125893
I can't tell if you want to fight me or fuck me.

>>80125946
I rape nigger boys for fun. You know who gave you all AIDs? Me.

>>80117025
holy shit the edge

>>80125981
You must have Magic Johnson's Johnson. And his doctor.

File: 1488205820821.jpg (247KB, 700x724px) Image search: [Google]

247KB, 700x724px

>Go see Wolverine in the cinema with my basement dweller friend
>There's a full row of teenagers at the back of the theatre constantly talking through the movie, laughing and shit
>No one in the entire theatre says anything to them
>End of the movie with the feels moment, one of the faggots get up on his chair and puts his hand infront of the projector
>Finally someone turns around and tells him to stfu
>Kid tells him to "suck my balls you old fuck"
>Entire row of faggots all start laughing, you could just feel the rage emanating from the entire audience
>2 mins later the kid gets up and does it again
>I jump out of my seat and fly into an absolute fit, the first and only time in my life
>Feel myself actually getting light headed from screaming at them so hard
>One of them laughs at me and tries to mimic me
>Rage just hits me all at once, don't know why but I just walk up to them, tell them I have a knife and I'll be waiting outside when the movie ends
>They all quickly jump up and run out, people actually clap when these little fuckers leave
>Movie finishes and walking out, friend just tells me how badly I embarrassed him, ok
>Police waiting outside, one of the little faggots is next to him crying, points at me
>Theatre manager out of nowhere walks up to me w police, says I'm going to be arrested for threatening a minor with bodily harm
>Actually go to court and everything over this
>I now have a permanent record for abuse of a minor, verbal threats of physical violence with dangerous weapons

I legitimately wish those little cunts die in a fire.

>>80126017
What the fuck are you talking about?

>>80126090
Get it? He has gave all us blacks aids? Magic Johnson? His penis? The aids? Magic Johnson's Johnson, c'mon man. "And his doctor" because he's still alive. Geez.

>>80114213
>go see the poseidon in small rural town in Lithuania
>durring the part where the ship flips over the film reel snaps
>sound is still playing
>5min after the film resumes
>ITS FUCKIN UPSIDE DOWN
>almost piss my self from laughter
>this goes on for another good 10minutes till then technician figures out whats wrong and flips the reel.
now when i think of it it all makes sense as the ship was upside down thru out the film

>>80126134
I don't know what magick Johnson is.

>>80126447
Magnet Jensen? Jansen Ankles?

>live in bongland
>go to cinema
>by a beer at under 21
>cinema is silent the whole movie
>leave

>>80126543
Cunt

>Watching Blair Witch
>Movie sucks
>Kids yapping
>Cinema is really old, made in 1910's, build near a natural health spa so it starts to stink of sulfur
>To ear it our guy opens a door right next to me
>Sun comes in and ruins the little mood that was left

File: cat dog.jpg (42KB, 500x442px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 500x442px

>>80114309
>being so beta as to not ask him to shut his trap

>>80114213
Had to have been when either I saw Star Wars or The Avengers. Bunch of black people in both audiences hooting and hollering after after big scene. Also a whole bunch of clapping.

Some nigger fell asleep during Godzilla Ressurection and started snoring, luckily his boyfriend gave him a good punch on the arm and got his ass up. I mean this faggot brought a blanket into the theatre like he was fucking planning on it. It was jarring but fortunately that's the last time I can remember something bad happening during a screening

>>80121715
Shit nigga, was this the showing of Akira in Melbourne?

>>80114213
Someone brought a baby to see Godzilla 3 years ago. It yapped a few times and I got annoyed.

File: IMG_8078.jpg (17KB, 264x264px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 264x264px

>>80114233
>mfw can never see a Denzel movie in theaters

The worst thing that's happened to me at a cinema was only a couple of days ago. It was just before Logan started, the 20th Century Fox logo played, and immediately after it - when it went dead quiet - some dude decided to open a can of juice.

Holy shit m8, you could've opened it during the loud logo, but no. You just had to open it in the silent pause.

>>80114590
>he doesn't watch his kino at the kinoplex that puts on the subtitles

>>80121263
what was this pure autism?

I have never had a bad one since I only started going to the cinema during the daytime on weekdays and only if the film has been out for more than 2 weeks.

I've got a couple,

>going to see inbetweeners 2 with like 4 of my friends
>book seats and shit and realise we have an hour to kill
>go to bar and have a couple of pints (it's a comedy and wouldn't normally)
>lost track of time and head in literally 4/5 minutes late
>our seats were top middle, right at the top of the stairs
>our seats have been robbed by some cunts so I tell them to move
>they say should have got here on time and that their seats were robbed
>get in a massive arguments where we obviously look like the bad guys even though they're our seats
>one guy with his gf who robbed someone else's seat starts to say sit somewhere else
>start shouting at him and calling his gf a bitch, my friends back down at this point and I go a bit nuts
>tell them to move or I'll move them (at this point there are like 12 people on the back row all in the wrong seat and all saying just sit somewhere else)
>fuming go and get the steward (bitch move) and he says for us to sit somewhere else and he will reimburse us the cost of the film
>don't enjoy the film one bit get the refund

Also other story is my brother and uncle went to see the batman after the TDKR and for context my uncles a farmer who gets up at 4/5am most days
>he falls asleep and he snores LOUD, he's a heavy sleeper as well so my bro is trying to prob him and shit, he wakes up but keeps falling back asleep
>bro obviously is embarrassed by it struggling to keep him awake
>finally film ends which he was up for
>when they get home ask him how the film was and he says he didn't really understand it, bro just laughed

>>80114213

>go to watch kevin costner movie when teenager
>theatre is almost empty
>creepy middle-aged paedo fuck comes and sits right next to me
>spend the entire movie thinking where I will hit him if he touches me
>he keeps to his seat, eating a giant box of popcorn
>film was also shit

>>80114213
midnight showing of the dark knight and the theater i was in had no ac. and it was hot in there. there was another showing the same time and both theaters got out and overheard someone from the other theater, "it was freezing in there"

>>80127495
>costner movie
>shit

you don't say....

File: solidarność.jpg (38KB, 500x247px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 500x247px

Polack here
>cinema tickets discounted
>pleb fills the theater
>they are argueing 5 minutes about seat number although it's clearly indicated on the ticket
>never been in cinema before I guess
>contrabanding their own stinky food

File: disapproval turtle.jpg (14KB, 299x268px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 299x268px

>>80127663
>theaters with seat-specific tickets

I went and saw Get Out.
There was some couple beside us that got up at least 5 times during the movie, disappearing for 20+ minutes on two of the trips, then coming back and asking a ton of questions about what happened. After the movie ended, he chuckled and was like "HAHA HOW WAS THE MOVIE GUYS? I MISSED MOST OF IT HAAAAAAAAAAAA".

On top of that, there was some dumb nigger and his sheboon in the back constantly talking and laughing the whole movie.

The worst would be the first time I realized the clapping at the end of movies meme was actually real and people started doing it for Star Wars TFA.

>>80125157
You're That Guy, anon.

>>80122154
never happened/100

File: 1458894657404.gif (144KB, 126x126px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 126x126px

>tfw only go see movies at alamo drafthouse now because there are almost no niggers and unruly people are expelled almost immediately

>>80127707
you can choose man, it's not that they're automatic or forced

we have democracy in Polans mane

>>80122154
none of this actually happened to you, enjoy being butthurt over a movie with black people in it

>>80114516
Winnipeg is the anus of Canada

>>80128047
you misspelled "Calgary"

File: 1297199080171.png (106KB, 830x974px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 830x974px

>>80114309
Lol you beta, this is basically you.

>Go to the local kinotorium to see the latest kino
>During the kino, one guy who looks to be about 50 keeps walking across the aisle and back every few mins
>Happens at least 20 times, getting in the way of people's view each time
Not that big of a deal compared to some of the ones in this thread, but it's the one I remember the most.

>>80116280
>When it came to the bombung scene with Scoot Mcnairy, all three simeoultaneously laughed, for maybe 5 minutes.
lol

>>80121583
*laughs* "hm-m"

>>80117858
Where was your falcon during all of this?

>>80114516
I hope you realize it's almost 100% of the time blacks because they don't care about anything it's all whiteys fault

>>80116109
That's what the shower is there for, dumbass.

>>80121583
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWystljmrVM

File: 1459343587483.jpg (115KB, 634x550px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 634x550px

>>80117517
Planet Earth S02E01 you pleb.

>>80114516

A

File: 8a4.jpg (30KB, 316x202px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 316x202px

>be 13
>move to new school
>was a complete loser in old school but somehow manage to get in with the cool kids at the new one
>they invite me to go watch a movie on the weekend (I think it was 21)
>they bring along two qt's from another school
>I don't say a word once they show up to hide my autism
>sit beside one of the guys when the movie starts
>20 minutes into the movie one of the girls moves seats so she's beside me
>asks to make out
>I panic and say 'sorry I can't'
>she moves back to where she was
>another 20 minutes later the OTHER one does the same thing
>panic AGAIN
>she also moves back
>they soon start making out with the other guys
>have to sit through another hour+ of this shit movie while wanting to jump off a bridge

Honestly, going to see TFA a second time with my dad. It was so fucking boring to rewatch, I remember I just stared at a random spot on the wall for like 10 minutes at one point

>>80126075

That was Obama's America. Things will be different under Trump.

>>80117224
staged

>>80114213
Saw Split on release night, theater was packed. Bunch of fucking highschoolers screaming all the time and even shouted out SHOW US YOUR TITS during the undressing scene. Never again

>>80114516
its pretty bad. black people are bad but we had this one crazy white dude shoot up the place.

>>80117529
why the fuck does movies have to show dick in the first place?

blame it on blacks that simply point it out meanwhile you have 9000 threads complaining about diversity or "pushing an agenda white genocide" in movies.

whites are the worst

Recorded my last experience : https://youtu.be/JBx-vydxfKU

File: 91f.jpg (32KB, 436x361px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 436x361px

>>80125846
>I'm 21 now, so...

File: 1488733454731.jpg (45KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 640x360px

>>80117529

>>80130324
THIS

>>80114213
Wasn't even that bad, during"A Cure for Wellness" these two girls girls kept chatting. I asked them to stop, and they did. People are super beta about this shit if confronted directly about it

When I was watchingLars von Trier's Antichrist a fat greasy guy on the opposite aisle masturbated throughout

>>80114213
>Visit a Kurdish cinema
>Based on the US
>Everyone is speaking loudly before the movie
>Lights go down
>Not a single person keeps talking
>Absolutely no talking or phone calls the entire movie

>Australia
>A Brit tries to answer a phone in the first 15 minutes
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP, DUMB CUNT"
>Literally slaps the phone out of her hand
>Runs crying, screaming about going to the manager and police
>Never came back
>Only a few people talked for brief moments

>American cinema
>No one can shut the fuck up
>Talking during the movie
>Phones ringing 90 minutes into the movies

>Chinese cinema
>NO ONE CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP
>CHEWING WITH OPEN MOUTHS
>CARRYING ON 45 MINUTES CONVERSATIONS
>CONSTANT YELLING MATCHES
>EVERYONE STAMPEDES THE DOOR

China should install carbon monoxide vents in all theaters and just start gassing everyone that enters.

>>80130566
>why the fuck does movies have to show dick in the first place?
Now that's some desperate arguing for the sake of defending blacks.

>>80131027
>Chinese cinema
Holy fuck THIS.

The chinese are fucking horrible when it comes to anything that involves groups. They literally RUN everywhere. It's like a fucking stampede to get in and out of places.

I remember my first experience with this shit at Hong Kong Disneyland and it blew my mind. People literally stampede to get seats at any event or show and even rides. What a clusterfuck.

>>80121954
There's a guy like this in my college class. At least you only had to put up with it for 2 hours once.

>tfw one lecturer literally asked us if he's autistic one day when he didn't show up

>>80114516
>all those niggers in winnipeg

>>80126662
>>80128100
Do you want to get hit

Because this is how you get hit

>watch Secret Life of Pets
>literal tard sperging or laughing throughout movie
>can't tell with them
>fin

That's about it.

>>80125613
You're the black that buys a Nintendo switch

>>80114213
>watch MI ghost protocol
>The whole sandstorm scene had no audio

>>80126075
This is why I never stand up for myself

You get fucking jail/punishment for that shit

>>80114893
>laughing at cinemas
fucking americans

>>80120321
Fuck off, Tarantino.

>>80117606
I laugh everytime I see him, my mates do too though

>>80122242
I live in a southern black city and recently went to see a parade. The black family next to me started talking about that and the history of how the white man kept them down as slaves and kept looking at me pointedly.

I am a bald white guy with tat's, so I assume they thought I was white power and not nintendo power.

>>80125613
yeah that's fair

I went to see interstellar and during a long take (for this movie) of the ship passing Saturn some guy said borinnnggg and it triggered me.

I don't goto the cinema often.

>>80115439

...and then you woke up in a wet bed.

>>80132763
cant disproof it, faggit

>Go to see Fantastic Beasts with buddy
>Assigned seats
>Room is almost empty, loads of seats
>Just go and sit in a good spot because that's what fucking everyone does
>Only people on the entire row
>Mum and her daughter come up to us
>"You're in our seats"
>e n t i r e r o w is e m p t y
>Shuffle over a few seats so they can sit down
Not that bad but it just seemed kind of baffling.

File: 132435678.jpg (84KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 500x500px

At Star Trek ID, somebody with probably schizophrenia was sitting beside me and he was whispering to himself partially understandable, partially in some made-up language throughout the entire movie. I wasn't mad at him or anything because the movie was shit anyway and clearly it's not something he can control. But I kept hearing his voice for almost a week after that.

I got a few
Batman v Superman:
>opening night crowded theater
>see a gray bus parked outside
>niggers fill up the fist few rows
>Superman """"death""""" scene
>some coon shouts "I guess Batman won"
>theater erupts with laughter
>actually the highlight of a shitty movie
Rogue One:
>my DUDE WEED LMAO friends decide to get high
>not a big fan of weed but do it anyways
>usually makes me nauseous and irritable
>feel ok until my friend asks if I feel good
>at that moment my brain decides to trigger my vomiting reflexes
>puke in the aisle
>three months later and the smell is still there
La La Land:
>go to nicer cinema in a nearby city because my redneck town hardly shows anything
>things are going fine until the last half hour
>the speakers break down
>the last twenty minutes play in silence until the middle of the ending montage
>everyone is forced to leave
>get free passes and refunds

>>80132262
>I am a bald white guy with tat's, so I assume they thought I was white power
You are, or you're just a garden-variety moron, but either way....

>>80114590
>Rogue One
>couldn't hear any dialogue
he was doing you a favor desu

>>80114893
you must have felt like an autist but to be fair in this particular case you were in the right

File: oh my.jpg (43KB, 450x450px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 450x450px

>be in the theater with my fz
>early screening, about 11 AM
>no one besides us in the theater
>movie being a horror
>We both have popcorn
>she must go pee
>BRILLIANT IDEA.MOV
>stick my dick inside my popcorn box
>haha what a funny joke it will be
>turns out she's been gone for a while, probably poo or something
>whatever. I'll wait
>my penis hurts
>SALT.exe
>KURWA FUCK
>oh my fucking god it’s biting fucking pain because of this salty popcorn
>pull it out quickly hooking the edge of popcorn box with my wiener
>she comes back and we watch horror, she thinks I'm scared of something because of the grin on my face
>date ruined
>never again

>>80129885
FUCKING

>>80133446
>fz
Female 'za?

Also your and idiot :-)

File: 1485621896183s.jpg (5KB, 192x154px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 192x154px

>go to theatres to see rogue one
>first time seeing a movie in theatres since TFA which i saw 4 times in the theatre
>havent been to the theates in,literally years
>spend like $16 on 3d ticket
>spend another $15-20 on drink popcorn and m&ms
for whatever reason i was pulling an allnighter and was on hour 30
>dose off a bit during the movie
>wake up just in time for vader hallway scene
>movie is over
>snacks are literally 50% full
>think i only missed a half hour tops
>come to /tv/
>everyone is telling everyone not to choke on their aspirations
>i realize i missed over half the movie

tldr spent like $40 on movie and consumed less than half of purchases

no single policies exist for a reason guys

>>80114233
First post always the best post.

>>80133668
Friend-Zone

File: you fucking moron.jpg (75KB, 640x478px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 640x478px

>>80133446
>stick my dick inside my popcorn box

File: le anime face.jpg (203KB, 811x789px) Image search: [Google]

203KB, 811x789px

>>80133696
>paying extra for shitty 3D

>just saw logan sitting in middle section
>fat 300lb 4ft little nigger on right side
>hear him munch his big bag of popcorn and comments ALL MOVIE LONG
>movie ends, was vry gud
>nigger yells DAT MOVIE WUZ ASS

fucking niggers man

that one time watching the dark knight

>>80133857
remember the black rhino? remember harambe? do you feel the emptiness? yeah thats whats its going to be like when 3d goes extinct

File: Bez tytułu.png (16KB, 586x435px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 586x435px

>>80133730
I wanted she touched it
as if by accident

When only god forgives came out I went to see it with a buddy of mine. We both used to smoke weed back then and I was going to pay him for some that day. I gave him the money and once the lights went down he was going to put a bag of weed in my bag. Unfortunately he missed the open part of my bag and dropped it on the floor. The smell instantly flooded out of the bag and both of us scrambled to try to pick it up and put it in my bag. People all around us were looking. Then once the film started people were generally being really annoying, checking their phones and talking. At one point this woman started taking pictures of the film with flash on. Multiple times. All around just a very shitty experience but I did actually enjoy the film. And I really regret trying to do a drug deal at a cinema.

>>80133958
Holy fucking Reddit

Went to a theatre showing PPV hockey. It was great except there were a lot of people in my living room that night that I didn't recognize

File: le norv face.jpg (412KB, 1840x1136px) Image search: [Google]

412KB, 1840x1136px

>>80134207

I don't know if this is common in the LA area (this was around southgate), but tons of kids did not shut the fuck up throughout the entirety of tfa

>>80125076
so that guy never had a response to this huh?

>>80128514
Fucking your mother.

>Rogue One, a week or two after it's release, not counting on much of anyone there
>moderate crowd, whatever,
>Four old people sit behind me to the left
>whole movie, making whispered comments
>Finally have enough, ask them if they "could please be quiet"
>they act like being quiet in a theatre is a foreign concept
>tense scene where the grenade is tossed in the ship, no music, can he make it?
>old bitch behind me "throw it back"
>I had thought about asking them why they talked so much during a movie I had paid to see but figured they would be too stupid to see from someone else's point of view
It's not just niggers, although they do the majority of this.

>>80133446
>KURWA
fucking polack detected

>>80114213
>go to see Logan
>realize halfway through the movie that I forgot my cinema shower pass
>realize what that means
>as most moviegoers exit during the credits, I remain in my seat like the other people without passes
>once they all exit I strip naked in the theater with the other peasants
>line up with the other pass-less theater patrons in front of the screen
>woman loudly crying holding her infant child tightly, she knows what is about to go down
>the spotlights from the cinema watchtowers shines upon us
>the cinema warden enters and orders the guards to hose us down
>brace myself as i am hosed down by the powerful hose the guards use to hose down the screen after each screening
>several of us go toppling down, our naked bodies sliding about the floor from the pressure of the hose
>as the screams grow louder the hoses' pressure only increases
>after 15 minutes things finally end
>we struggle to our feet, bruised and bloody, stumbling
>getting dressed afterwards
>find my shower pass in my jacket pocket I was wearing all along

Amateur mistake on my part

File: Ainsley_problem.jpg (206KB, 400x594px) Image search: [Google]

206KB, 400x594px

>>80117606
>I don't know why smiley black men make me lol

>>80133696
i forgot to add to this before the movie started

>sit down very back row center seat
> theatre is fairly empty for opening night
>its a theatre with those big lay all the way back recliner seat so arranged seating via tickets
>dont bother checking my seat number
>3 old couples that were probably going to have an orgy after the movie come up to me
>"yeah so youre in our seat"
>look down "o-oh o-kay s-sorry"
>move two rows ahead and peetend nothing happened

>>80134658
YOU FORGOT THE FALCON

>>80114309
You're a pussy for not saying something

>>80117858
You should have stood up and told her to stop pushing your seat so that the rest of the theater would be aware and she wouldn't have been able to get you in trouble. Not to mention she would have been forced to stop. But instead you acted like a child and got yourself kicked out.

>>80121252
>>80121263
I appreciate the effort.
I smiled.

>>80114233
Honestly this for multiple reasons. The biggest being the fact that you can't watch a movie with black actors without these motherfuckers crowding in screaming the whole fucking time and just generally being nuisances. I can't remember what the movie was called but a couple years ago I went to go see some horror movie about some black bitch getting stalked by this big ass nigga that broke out of prison and it was fucking PACKED with niggers. Wasn't even an inherently black movie or anything either, nothing would have changed if they were white. Last time I went to go see a movie about black people that aren't Denzel or Sam Jackson, and even those I have to wait out for a couple weeks.

>>80124547
>She looks mortified, shuffles a bit and changes seats
Well done anon.

The last 3 times I went to the theaters I had somebody next to me talking as loud as they wanted. Some autist next to me spurged out the whole time when I saw Logan. I'm done going to the theaters. It's not worth it.

>>80114213
>almost empty theatre, only me, a couple and some dudes in there
>watch some shit sneak preview
>bored and munching on my cashews
>look around
>see the guy from the couple sitting alone somehow
>see the head of his girl bop up just a little bit
>give him a smirk of approval
>get smile back
>continue watching shit movie

>>80114213
just recently
logan at AMC town square in Las Vegas
black guy came in smelling like the dankest weed ever and was barely able to walk

before the movie calls somebody "whe the fuck you aat dawg..bru im heer" after that he takes out a skinny blunt and starts smoking it

smell filled up the entire theater and security was called in just as the movie was starting

the staff gave all 16 or so including my and brother free tickets to watch another movie and popcorn and the option to wait some 10 to 20 minutes to set up another room for us

after twenty minutes we finally got to see the movie logan dying was emotional as fuck

>>80121846
the art becomes much more fluid in theater


when you scream you get pixels , download you still get terrible quality

the theater has a literal box seat for you too jack off and free water

File: 1485281874942.jpg (10KB, 157x194px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 157x194px

>go see Age of Ultron with my brother
>hyped as fuck because it's one of my favorite villain arc in Marvel comics
>high expectations for a more serious and menacing villain
>theaters packed with young adults and a few families
>this dad, his wife, and her son approach the seats next to me
>"can you move your jacket anon"
>Christian morals kick in and allow him to sit next to me
>nigga looked like Rob from comics explained
>I shit you not, this man had two expressions during the movie
>he either laughed hysterically at ANY quip spewed in the movie
>or said "oh no..." whenever something serious or bad happened
>literally every time Ultron appeared he said this loudly and annoyingly
>No one would step the fuck up and say something to him
>scene where Ultron's full model is revealed to us
>I confusingly utter "what?" as anyone with a brain would find this retarded and rushed as we literally just saw Ultron created five minutes earlier and it seemingly created a body for itself in just a few hours
>someone in the back row looks over at me and tells me to shut the fuck up as giggles are heard
>I endure the rest of this shit fest of a Marvel movie and few hundred more "oh noes"
>I leave the theater utterly disappointed and pissed at that one random cuck who told me to shut up and not the man next to me

Moral of the story: never see a movie opening weekend, let alone a Marvel film

>>80114213
went to see suicide squad with high hopes because of all the hype, I just wanted to die after that horrendous montage with a vomit of pop songs every 30 seconds

>>80114213
I convinced some mates that White Noise 2: The Light was going to be worth seeing

It wasn't.

>>80134518
haha :D

>>80114893
so quirky XD

>be me
>on vacation in india
>decide to watch some authentic bollywood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpvtxQmHudo

One time I forgot to bring my falcon so I had to use the theater rental and had to pay it off by working four weeks in popcorn mines. Hearing the pounding of anvils above was too much. Had to go clean the showers when the sound got too loud. Crab legs

>>80135723
But anon, you are the cuck...you didn't stop the man or the interjection. To make it worse you validated your impassivity by being a "good christian"

>>80134616
Almost like in an Indian theatre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiZDuo9giE

>>80126923
I do shit like this on purpose, what's the big deal. Afraid you're gonna miss some important plot details while they show 50 different studio logos?

>>80136130
someone please explain the falcon

>>80114213
Someone started shooting. I'm not kidding and I dont live in burgerstian. 3 ppl got injured

>>80114634
why does the screening room only show shitty "progressive" indie flicks instead of good ones? someone should talk to them, and that someone is you

>>80134066
I don't understand why people make drug deals such a huge ordeal. That's how you get caught. Just meet up at your house or in a car or something jesus christ

>>80134313
Was this at Edwards 20?

File: 1488826288333.jpg (44KB, 960x598px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 960x598px

>Episode 7
>Some fucking kid is there at like 11 PM when I went to see it, I shit you not
>I went at 11 PM solely to avoid this exact shit
>Constantly shaking milk duds or something in the box and making gurgling noises
>Wanted to stand up and backhand the kid because what I assume was a single mother wouldn't fucking do it
>Han Solo dies, kid starts making dumb noises again while I was trying to pay attention
>Decide to leave and come back tomorrow because this shit has been ruined
I have vowed to never go see a Star Wars movie in theaters again, even if it means having it spoiled for me by the time it comes to blu ray.

this didn't happen

>>80117413
case & point why third worlders shouldn't allowed to use the internet

>>80135723
How can you let someone who doesn't know you talk to you like that? I don't consider myself a tough or confrontational person but I wouldn't have let that slide.

>>80132909
>sit in someone's seat that they specifically chose and paid for
>baffled when they ask you to move

lol

File: 1488052956119.png (7KB, 251x201px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 251x201px

>>80135421
>tfw 2 dum 4 artsy downtown summerlin kinos

>be me
>watch the force awakens in the theatre

>>80136296
fucking Filipino

>>80136640
What exactly would you have done, tough guy?

Seen plenty of bad movies in the theatre, never had a "bad" theatre experience.

>>80136687
Told him to make me? What is he gonna do, get up and fight you because you said one single confused comment?

>>80133696
>unironically wasting this much money on starshit
You're genetic waste.

File: 1486064295992.jpg (56KB, 720x531px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 720x531px

>>80114781
are you fucking serious? You god damn elitist neckbeard

>inb4 bait

>>80114233
This tbhqhwymf

>>80136790
muh 1 billion
poorfag

>>80136790
also i didnt intend to. i knew the risk of watching a movie after being awake for 30 hours though, though i did buy too large of popcorn but that was from inexperience. poorfag. also im going on two week cruise to new zealand, poorfag

>>80121767
Soon you cuckbois will become a minority yourselves :^)

I'd have to say it was around 6 or 7 years ago when I was back in college. I got stood up by my oneitis, I was waiting for her and she sent me a text saying she got stuck last minute with some errands and she wouldn't make it, she was all sorry afterwards. I ended up watching the movie anyway, it was clash of the titans. Never spoke to that cunt ever again, looking back now it might have been childish of me but the impression I got from her was that she was passive aggressive and probably didn't want to do it in the first place but instead of saying no she just bailed out at the last minute I suppose and the errand shit was just an excuse, she also never bothered to reschedule, and neither did I. Fuck that bitch. She was an 4/10 anyway.

>>80135723
>don't have the balls to tell someone who is being really annoying to be quiet
>someone else tells you to shut the fuck up and other strangers laugh
>be such a pussy you don't do anything

You have nobody to blame but yourself

I thought some faggy kids were throwing popcorn at me once, turns out they were throwing shit at the fat motherfucker sitting near me and were just terrible shots.

>>80133533
HUGE

>13 years old
>sister a junior in high school
>she and her friend invite me to watch alice in wonderland
>mom drops me off sis is already there with friend
>sis is acting weird giggly and just sits down in the waiting line
>wont move when the line is moving
>eventually get inside theater
>She lays on the floor near an exit of theater
> Usher comes and tells her to move
>me and friend have to pull her up and drag her inside the theater
>Get shitty seats in the front because wasted so much time waiting for her to get up
>go get 3d glasses by myself sis and friend didnt even get them
>Watch the shitty movie with a horrible off to the right and front row view
>sis falls asleep 15 minutes in
>wakes up 20 minutes before ends and vomits all over seats
>exit through the back
>dont get to finish movie

My dumbass sister decided to eat a shitload of edibles for her first (first time getting high too) time and she never told me.

>>80137222
Damn dude thats rough..

>>80137222
Why did you even see a movie with your sister and her friend? It's one thing if you went with them but your mom had to drop you off when she was already there.

>>80135200
What hellhole do you go to see movies in? I live in Columbus, OH so every movie I go to the theater is 50% niggers. I've never experienced anything like that.

>>80137311
She just invited me. She just called me and asked if I wanted to go, She was just hanging out at the mall I think. I was at home.

When I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Not only did the movie suck but there was a group of like 20 high school kids who had no interest in the movie and were literally screaming in the theater.

File: 6a00d83452258e69e201910398a90f970c.jpg (23KB, 460x276px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 460x276px

>>80121243
>scared of moving images

File: 1464204713963.jpg (173KB, 999x1300px) Image search: [Google]

173KB, 999x1300px

>>80114213
>watch Rise of the planet of the apes
>Holy shit this is so much better than I thought it would be
>get really into the movie, get "transported"
>scene where Caesar speaks for the first time and goes "NOO" comes up
>chills down my spine
>half the audience laughs

>>80125271
BING BING WAHOO

>>80114213
I ones smuggled crab legs into the theater but they later notices because I was masturbating to loud.

>>80136275
It's part of the fiction theater universe meme to bypass the no-singles policy

>>80114531
>popcorn minds
>minds