Daily Chris Stuckmann movie critic thread

He perfectly embodies the emasculation of modern America

What are his credentials?

>>80103460
script supervisor for BvS

>>80103460
Author of The Film Buff's Bucket List.

>Theaters around the world are dominated by comic book heroes, ice princesses, apocalyptic love-struck teens, and whatever masterpiece Pixar is rolling out. It’s clear that cinema is as healthy as ever. Oscar-worthy directors, indie geniuses and foreign artists are creating stunning, boundary-pushing work. Since the turn of the century, movie lovers have been enjoying a second golden age. But which films are the best of the best? What are the top movies since 2000 to see before you die? Chris Stuckmann, one of YouTube’s most popular film reviewers (70+ million views) gives us his best of the best! In his book debut, Stuckmann delivers his list of the very best 50 Movies since 2000 – with that style and punch that YouTube viewers have come to love. These are the films you must see before you die.

http://www.listchallenges.com/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list-50

>>80103460
Rotten Potatos Top Critic
Author of Destry County Bestseller Book

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>>80103553
Here's the cover.

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>>80103553
I understand he included Terrence Malick, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Paolo Sorrentino, Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Ken Loach, Michael Haneke, Gus Van Sant, Jane Campion and Mike Leigh...

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>>80103574
>tfw the entire list is just imdb-core

Why the fuck do people watch this guy again?

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>>80103553
>pirates of the carribbean
>no master & commander

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>>80103844
loners spending time with a person of their level
also why would anybody buy his book?

>>80103328

I can't take anyone who likes the Hunger Games seriously.

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>>80103895
One does not simply get to know Peter Weir's masterpieces

>>80103553
Is this guy fucking serious?

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>>80103905
>also why would anybody buy his book?
Maybe they were trying to decide between buying Stuckmann's book, or Truffaut's.

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>>80103553

abhorrent.

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>>80103446

>>80103986
I bet Stuckmann's book is easier to read and more relevant to plebe

>>80103895
Forget it, Jake. It's Stuckmatown

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>>80103328
what did he mean by this?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PlfpyD_ePXk
>Chris self promoting in the comments

>>80103553
>70+ million views
> doesnt mention his most viewed video is that bvs one where he cries for 26 minutes about being teased for muh snapped neck meme

>>80103446
Your average /r/the_donald subscriber perfectly encapsulates the emasculation of modern america. Obese, raised by single moms, unemployed and with huge breasts.

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>>80104514

>>80104514

If he grew up around blacks, he wouldn't be so thin-skinned to the point where he would cry about some joke made by RedLetterMedia.

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>>80104514
>h-hey guys mind if I get here?

>>80104514
Did this guy really prove he likes niggers to review that movie?

>>80104771
>>80104782
kek

>>80104780
exactly.

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>>80104514

is that a *BRAP* shirt?

>>80104826
i dont think he proved it in fact a load of people were laughing in the comments at the fact he stopped his review half way in to start dribbling about how black people are his family, show this pic to illustrate he knows what a black person is and talk about how racism hurts his fee fees.i wish i was making this up.

>>80104948
fucking TOP KEK saved!

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>>80103553
> Theaters around the world are dominated by comic book heroes, ice princesses, apocalyptic love-struck teens, and whatever masterpiece Pixar is rolling out.
> In his book debut, Stuckmann delivers his list of the very best 50 Movies since 2000 – with that style and punch that YouTube viewers have come to love.

This makes me feel ill. Absolutely disgusting

>>80105055
just change name Jesse Bryce to Chris Stuckmann

or "he finally got stuckmannized"

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>>80103328
What's the point of these threads?

You think Stuckmann will kill himself or delete his account if enough people on a Malaysian knitting forum keep bitching about him?

>>80105093
Did the hobbit make the list

>>80103446
this

>>80103574
My brother bought this a few months ago when we discovered him and liked his videos. He is beginning to regret it now.

>>80105119
dunno
I just want him to be sad or just make another 26-minutes-long video

>>80105119
considering he almost OD'ed after the zods neck fiasco, yes.

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I guess you can be top critic on rotten vegetables with VERY LONG reviews

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>>80105164
I'd hate to fall for bait but I need to know what you're talking about.

>>80105318
Tell that to CIA's crashed plane!

>>80104948
That cover REALLY makes me want an A&W cream soda

>>80105318
have you not seen the 26 minute video?

hes not very good at lying. he talk about how he should be happy because he has a great life, great wife and great "career" but its clear hes not so much talking to the audience but talking to himself-trying to convince himself his life is worth carrying on

also when he talk about this anonymous person having their dreams stopped because chris got teased its clear hes actually talking about himself but wants to hide it. he said that him getting teased "is stopping other people from persuing their dreams" he also said his reviews have saved "a frighteneing" amount of people from comitting suicide. again i feel this is projection-hes talking about himself.

>>80103460
Approved critic on Rotten Tomatoes and Reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qDJxdrWD5c

REMEMBER KIDS
If you happen to see Chris Stuckmann in your theater - piss him off, talk loudly, throw popcorn at him or whatever.

>>80105472
I've seen the video. You said he almost OD'd. What was that about?

Also I have no reason to doubt he has actually received messages from people saying his videos have saved them from suicide. His fans are that retarded.

>>80105570
>that lisp

>>80105603
they just saw someone who is 100 times dumber and more pathetic

>>80105603
he looked drugged up and on the verge of death. i would not be surprised if any more crtitsism and he wold go the way of that kony guy.

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>>80105682
kek.

>>80105735
>that karate
I bet bullies were affraid of him

>>80105779
yep. they were afraid that he would knock himself out and they would get the blame for KO'ing an autistic child.

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obligatory

>>80105145
why

>>80105914
>beat.

what did he mean by this?

>>80105914
>the two colossi are standing inches apart

And you thought SNYDER'S writing was homoerotic

>>80103328
>adult braces

>>80105969
>tfw you will never be sandwiched between the two clossoi

why live ;_;

>>80105914
*smirks tinely*

>>80103328
Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. I used to be a really big fan and got to talking to him on Twitter. He even invited me over to his a couple of times XD!! On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outfit in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

>>80105942
We didn't know any better. I had just discovered his channel, saw his spiderman review and thought he had some interesting things to say. I got that hype rush that you get when you find something you think is cool, then when he did THE VIDEO I realized quickly that I was wrong about him. Honestly we both feel like such fools at this point, but at least the book was pretty cheap.

>>80105914
>YOU THOUGHT A PAR OF GLASSES COULD FOOL THE WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE

kek fuck the zods snapped neck joke these two pages have at least 20+ potential memes alone

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>>80106081
You have my sympathies for going through such a horrific event.

>>80106096
he baited me with amazing "Enemy" analysis, his further reviews were pleb-tier

>>80106110
>challenging me isnt my idea of bravery

What did he mean by this

No really what did he mean

>>80106249
he meant

hes an autistic fanboy who wants both batman and superman in his ass

What's up with all the Redditors bashing based Stuck?

>>80106430
no u

>>80106430
>redditors

hello chris! shouldnt you be asleep or at least shagging your wife not up on tv obsessing what people say about you?

>>80106528
t. Reddit Letter Media

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I hate the stupid pop culture cross over shirts he wears in a lot of is videos. Like this one in his latest video.

>>80106566
kek fuck you rlm and chris are both shit.

>>80106617
He's just a nerd leave him alone

>>80106617
its better than the jem and dbz ones he wears, those scream autismo.

My wife invited Chris to stay with us in New York thinking that this is what I wanted. Instead of saying no on the spot I let it go thinking it was one of those maybe one day kind of things. Soon enough Chris was making plans and I didn't have the heart to say no at that point. It did lead to me and my wife having a conversation about communication. We both should have stopped and thought about this. I decided to make the best of it and take a few days off. A few days were needed because this wasn't a two day thing, Chris ended up planning a 4 day 5 night retreat at my place. I wasn't up for that but he already booked it. I sighed and just thought I'd make the best of it.

During the trip Chris was a dark cloud, a very brooding presence in my happy home. We tried offering to go out and do fun things but he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews. He did a wonderful job of ignoring my kid who wanted to talk to him and even tossed my wife attitude when she asked him about his goals and spoke candidly about his future goals. He may not have noticed but this is what we got. He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person.

>>80106917
One of the issues that bugged the hell out of me was how financial unprepared Chris was to come to New York. For weeks I had told him to save up because New York was expensive. Prior to arriving he spent money on a bunch of Blu rays since he was now starting a collection. My wife left a message online telling him to keep saving for New York. Of course we had food for him that was the extension of our invite and I even went out and bought an air mattress. We didn't have money for these things since my wife was out of work but I put it on credit. I didn't mind , I even spot him for the imax tickets for Mission Impossible 3 he said he'd pay me back because he didn't have a card.

When he got back to Ohio he posted up pics of more blu rays he purchased and even a TV. This was like a slap in the face to us. We couldn't help but feel used. There's a way to handle an invite to stay with people and then there's mooching. Even if the TV was purchased by his parents, why didn't his parents give him money for his trip? That's what any parent would do no? make sure he's got enough and not be a burden to the people hes staying with?

>>80106917
Not surprised, he thinks hes the next kubrick but would make uwe boll look like an oscar contender.

>>80106943
It's not an issue of money, because I treat my friends to many , many things. It's how it all came together...you go back home and start posting pics of your new TV and your blu ray collections and I'm like...wait..how do you have those things now when in New York you could barely afford a metrocard? It was pure D-baggery and I kept quiet about it. I didn't confront him about it, the colors were already shown especially when he ignored us after his trip. Something he admitted to AFTER I made those videos on him. He admitted he ignored me because I was somehow a negative influence on his spirituality. I found that to be a hilarious excuse. I really understood him as a person after he said that.

See, Chris grew up under the same religious upbringing I did. So when he first closed his channel I knew what pressures he was under among his family and friends.. I offered some advice, I told him to make sure he made his choices for himself and not because he wanted to keep some friends. This is what made me think we were closer than we were. I assumed this and I let my guard down. I realized early on I didn't know this person whom I let into my house and this was all my fault. He used this as the excuse, that my advice to him, to think for himself, was why he ignored me and made me a bad influence. Meanwhile, the guy had already decided to not continue to live by his faith anymore.
And this is who Chris was in a nutshell, someone who blamed other people for things. He always projected things back and it was never an apology with him. It was always "I'm sorry YOU feel that way" stuff and I've seen him that way with plenty of other people , not just me.

>>80103328
>Daily Chris Stuckmann movie critic thread

This guy is so fucking bland and uninteresting I thought he was a metajoke. But he's real. His opinions aren't jokes.

I bet people from here unironically love his idiocy.

>>80106970
The guy had this chip on his shoulder , like, you couldn't talk to him about anything other than movies. . This one time, my wife was making casual conversation and asked him what he thought he was going to do (work related) and Chris's response was that he intended to move to California and work toward being a movie critic in L.A. so there was this pause...and my wife asks what how he planned to support himself or maybe go to college first to learn about the trade he wanted to jump into, with him being a "filmmaker" and all and his face just changed. I don't think he realized it but after that he pretty much ignored my wife and gave off a little attitude for the rest of the trip. He really was planning to move to LA and he planned to cling on to the Schmoes Know and all their contacts (this is what he does).

There was no room for casual conversation with Chris, no getting to know him. Everything was either about movies or something superficial. We were adults talking to a child who didn't know how to carry a real conversation and it was awkward. When it was clear Chris didn't want to talk about anything personal we pulled back and our conversations were much..much shorter. "

http://whathappenedtofuryofthefilmfan blogspot co uk/

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>>80104121
>I bet Stuckmann's book is easier to read and more relevant to plebe

Does it have some things I'll like, and some things I won't like?

Is it, on the whole, pretty good?

Will I be glad I went and say "it's worth a watch"?

>>80107007
Sounds like a fucking shitstorm

>>80104514
>>80104771
>>80104782
he really did have Black friends because on that one webm showing his autistic tendencies he was play fighting(probably rping Dragon Ball) with some Black dude.

>>80107604
>friends
>assuming it wasnt just a group of black kids taking pity on some poor autistic manchild

>>80107041
why didn't he applaus Elia Kazan during the oscars?

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>>80104948
>no peanut untouchable

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>>80104948
can someone photoshop these black kids' faces to this image? preferably from HD 1080x youtube vid

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>>80104948
Chris Stuckmann ladies and gentlemen

>>80106917
>>80106943
>>80106970
>>80107007

Literally 12 years ago. MI3 was from 2006. Chris was probably a fucking teenaged faggot autist.

>>80108158
*11 years ago, fuck.

>>80108144
ty and nice dubs

>>80108158
>>80108197
I think that's a mistake, MI3 wasn't even shown in IMAX theaters and none of the YT movie critics existed back then. I think he meant to write Mission Impossible 4 (which was 2011) because that's when Chris closed down his channel cos of his religion or something. In 2011 Chris was like 21 years old

>>80108144
Do you think he says thank you to those bulls after they fuck his wife?

>>80108371
they were supposed to fuck him

I think he writes a love letter to each and every moonlighter for fucking him and his wife.

I think his baby will be black. It's inevitable.

>>80108437
kek

>>80108437
he already said black people are his family so if his wife has a black kid he will be stupid enough to think its his.

>>80108144
wtf those Black dudes have the bodies of twinks.

>>80108591
Thats how Chris' wife likes them, Chris too.

He can pretend he is fucking his wife, but be progressive at the same time.

She can laugh at his micro penis too while he is in the corner getting some 40s together to refresh the bulls when they are done with "his" wife.

Win-Win

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I tried to be funny. I mean Chris Stuckmann tier funny.

>>80104752
This is some high level projecting here.

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>>80108763
wrong image

Why is Stuckmann so much hated and disliked?

http://m.wikihow.com/Deal-with-an-Autistic-Guy-Who-Has-a-Crush-On-You

I think this may be Stuckmann-related link.

>>80109149
Just watch any of his videos man

>>80109665
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7knF4qBaCDg

first seconds
great autismo

>>80109823
huh. i just realized 4 xmen actors are in movie 43

stop shilling yourself so hard. Do you even have anything new or are you still just coasting off the fact that you're a shit writer?

>>80110547
His book was really insightful, maybe you should buy and read it before you cast judgement on it.

>>80110671
FUCK OFF CHRIS YOU HACK FUCK MODS MODS MODS

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>>80103574
Why can't Star Wars fans go one fucking second without reminding everyone they love Star Wars?

>>80111237
they're like vegans
their knowledge is fragmentary

>>80110671
>insightful
You cannot be serious

>>80113439
how much does it cost anyway?

>>80113495
15 bucks apparently

>>80108813
nice

So how do we stop Stuckbaby from making videos?

>>80113739
Can't Cuck the Stuck

Is this kino?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM9-45UZL8E

What do you call a movie reviewer after a sexual act?
Chris Stuffed-mann

>>80108787
It's some deep analysis more like.

>>80111237
Did you say Star Wars? I fucking love Star Wars.

>>80114007
I know Chris Cucked-man does as do all the people at Collider.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiJ-Rp5Nw_0

le kino

I heard Chris Stuckmann punched him in the jaw after Ebert called his reviews "pulchritudinous manuscriptions". Of course Stuckmann never understood that this was in fact a compliment. Ebert got his jaw removed unfortunately.

>>80114222
I heard Stuckmann shoved vegetables up his ass and blew Christian Harlof to help get ratings.

>>80105735
that autism walk in the woods lol

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I heard he killed Robbie Williams

I keep hearing is wife has cancer is it true?

>>80115415
If by cancer you me a BBC buried in her asshole, then yes.

>>80115487
show some respect mane

yes, she has cancer. it's because she watched his all videos, she witnessed its making, she appeared in few episodes

>>80115559
For what I recall she looked like the typical "bored wife browsing social media on a video while husband wastes time"-

>>80103446

He has a "job" and a wife.

>>80115814
So does Boogie2988, what's your point?

>>80115415
No, she just wears a headscarf a lot.

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>>80104514

>>80108738
You put too much thought into this

Member when he was gonna make his own film titled Gloria or something like that? I member

>>80118550
I member that he worked as a social worker who helped little children go across the street to the bus. He be so cute

>>80103482
kek

>>80103553
>No Jesse James
>Has The Force Awakens
>"Film Buff"

>>80119011
>No Jesse James
Well that's fair enough, film is subjective
>Has The Force Awakens
Fuck him

>>80104780

What joke?

>>80120754
They called him a prick in their Ghostbusters Re:view

>>80103574
There isn't a single movie made past the year 1999 worth watching let alone 50

>>80118550
wasn't there rough cut

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>>80105914

>>80106617
pop culture crossover shirts are the fucking worst

don't know a single person who wears them who wasn't a completely unbearable sperg

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>>80121094
>I-I'm not crying, I-I swear!
ENOUGH

>>80121094
just pretending to be retarded lol

>>80103328
Cuckman is steadily becoming more patrician he made a video essay about Angels Egg.

Anyone know why he got banned from Movie Fights? I mean, for one thing, Screen junkies is pretty mainstream and seems right up his alley.

They didn't even give him a fucking show on their network when they gave Kevin Smith one.

>>80103328
I'm a cuck and even I think this guy is a cuck

>>80125425
He's so fucking boring

>>80125425
Where did you get the fake news that he got banned? it was never meant to be a permanent thing anyways. He probably does it whenever he feels like going to LA or some shit

>>80125425
He gets all whiny and pissed when he doesn't win

>>80120754
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qpT7bWSgwg

>>80103553
>suddenly Caché
Every time.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA9yT54vXqo

good video

>>80126111
You mean your video?

>>80126111
your video sucks

giving it a dislike

get cuckmannized

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>>80126111

Your video is poorly made.

>>80106617
every LootCrate has one, what else should he do with them

>>80126127
>>80126230
>>80126350

Hi Chris! Not my video, idgaf if you dislike it

>>80113858
talking trough his nose to hide his braces... haha

>>80126111
thanks for analysis

OK how do you exactly know that RLM called Stuckmann a prick?
There was also JeremyJahns on pictures

>>80126111
i wished someone would do a compilation of just how much of a fan he is of everything
he has all the comic books, he saw every cartoon and anime hundreds of times, he recorded every movie on vhs and watched it until the tape broke
my theory is, he had a groundhog day-like incident as a child, but he is just a pathetic nerd so all he did was watch public broadcast television

>>80126111
>4 subscribers
>Stuckmann has 3 million subscribers

JUST

>>80126643
>Mike: Which prick?
>Rich: I dont know,there are so many of them.
>pictures of Jahns, Armored Atheist, Chris are shown

>>80126691
kekke
>>80126716
my dear Chris, you have also started from zero. Unless you bought your suscriptions
>>80126725
thanks. Did Jeremy Jansen cry like Chris?

Guys, I grew up with King Kong. It is something special to me.

>>80126384
Give them so some poor sap that would actually wear them.

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his content is pretty eh but he's doing what he likes doing so you can't fault him for that. I admire that you can actually feel soul behind his videos.

>>80126953
/tv/'s content is pretty eh but we're doing what we like doing so you can't fault us for that. I admire that we can actually feel soul behind our posts

>>80126953
Stalin's regime was pretty eh but he's doing what he likes doing so you can't fault him for that. I admire that you could actually feel soul behind his leadership.

>>80113978
deep trigger more like it fellow Hilary supporter

>>80126384
stop buying JewCrate?

>>80103328
The fact this thread is still going makes me happy.

Thank you anon!

>>80108813
These meme are glorious keep them coming!

>>80127302
Tell that to Zod's snapped neck

>>80127359
thank you

>>80126953
>his content is pretty eh but he's doing what he likes doing so you can't fault him for that.

if that was all he was doing he wouldnt get much hate. the issue with him is that he thinks hes some sort of spielberg/future oscar winner and really tears into films like hes in any position too and got salty when people pointed out that his snapped neck script was shit which he through was cool as he bragged about only writing it in 20 minutes. guys got an ego bigger than fucking namek he needs some humility.

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>>80127472

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Please tell me this twitter is satire

I hope to see these threads every day

>>80127638
> Just wow!! What a quote!

These plebs just eat his shit up

>>80127843
stuff like this goes beyond plebbery, it's like the people who write fanfic about the channelawesome people.

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>>80127769
you can depend on it boss

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>>80127769
This, i fucking love the fact that /tv/ unanimously hates Stuckmann, and these threads are so comfy

>>80127769
it would help that they dont get deleted. got banned 9 times from this board for making threads about stuckmanns stupidity.

>>80128083
stop making it "Stuckmann hate thread" and be rather "Stuckmann movie critic thread"

>>80128169
didnt outright made it a hate thread, i just posted his most retarded reviews.

It's only a matter of time until you guys start unironically liking him. This happens with every eceleb you like to shit on. You'll claim that you "always liked him" and that these threads are a joke.

>>80128314
Hi chris? written any good scripts lately?

>>80128356
Joke all you want but it's inevitable. Screencap this post.

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Basic gestalt:

APR 4
>Says in a podcast, "'Look man, you can't go around murdering people. You know, you're just like one of the criminals.' Then Batman could've said, 'Oh, well tell that to General Zod's snapped neck!'"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJAaRFb-JJg

APR 15
Just for kicks, I decided to do a rewrite of the lead in and ending of the fight between Batman and Superman. Will post when I'm finished.

APR 16
This is my rewrite of the big fight in #BatmanvSuperman. Gives Bats some more depth and Supes clear motivation.
>more depth
>clear motivation
>"WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE"
>"WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD ZOD AWAY FROM THE CITY"
>"TELL THAT TO ZOD'S SNAPPED NECK"

APR 16
Sad thing is, I wrote that in 20 minutes.

APR 16
Thanks for the feedback on my idea for #BvS.

APR 16
Just wrote it for kicks. #ZodsSnappedNeck

APR 17
Thanks for all the hilarious memes. #BvS
>Video of him basically going "h-hah me and my friends all laughed at those memes! Thanks for the m-memes!"

APR 17
Ok last thing on this, this one made us cry laughing.
>Posts pic related

APR 17
Being nearly 30 years old, I've learned something important. You've just gotta laugh at yourself sometimes, otherwise life gets boring.

APR 17
Thanks for the reminder guys, that line WAS dumb, and I will laugh about it for a long time.
>Video of Chris Evans laughing

APR 17
Guys, my dumb line has a Twitter, and it's beautiful. I kid you not I'm crying laughing. What a weird life I live. @ZodzSnappedNeck

APR 17
You see, if I had worked 3 years on that rewrite, then I'd be offended. But 20 minutes for fun? I'm laughing with you.
>Repeats 20 minutes
>I'M LAUGHING WITH YOU

APR 23
Due to requests, I've decided to offer my final thoughts on the reaction to my Batman v Superman rewrite:
>26-minute video talking about how he got meme'd on
>"I did it for my fans"
>"I've helped people out of suicide"
>"I work with the handicapped"
>"It doesn't really matter"
>"I only spent 20 minutes on it"
>"It's not that funny"

>>80128366
I dont think people hate him they just find his pretentiousness funny when its coupled with autism.

All you frustrated virgins just go and fap to his wife moan and beg "please stop," at 40:45 in their Halloween special.

https://youtu.be/wMyDDmnJxTI?t=40m44s

I know I did.

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>>80128374
Nice write-up anon.

For the big enchilada, you should include what this guy said about how Stuckmann behaves behind the scenes (when he says Mission Impossible 3 it's a mistake, he means Mission Impossible 4)

>>80116174
is she a mooslim

>>80128374
>>80128571
fuck I forgot to link

http://whathappenedtofuryofthefilmfan dot blogspot dot co dot uk/

>>80103328
lmao, what the fuck is it with these threads? what are they supposed to accomplish?

>>80128736
>t. stuckmanized pleb

>>80105277

Is this real? It's absolutely atrociously written. Terrible sentence structure.

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>>80128736
>>80128775
why the fuck am i laughing so hard at this exchange

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>>80103328
He would make a great movie serial killer

>>80103328
get that cuck outta here. compare this guy to tony zhou from every painting and he comes off like a movie illiterate.

>>80128802
Get comfy friend, theres more to come.

>>80128846
*every frame a painting I meant

>>80128827
hey, let's search for unsolved murders in the ares where he lives. Maybe we can find something.

>>80125425
He doesn't live in LA, he never got banned. Kevin Smith probably got a show because he lives in LA.

>>80128902
You know honestly i could not watch chris halloween special because i was certain he was gonna murder his wife at the end of the video. theres just something very off about his face and it doesnt help that he takes himself too seriously. i cant remember the name of the review but theres one where he begins with just staring at the screen for 3 minutes and it had me shook like the ring i swear i thought the nigga was gonna come right through and eat my fucking face off.

>>80127638

The person behind that twitter account must be placed in a labor camp.

>>80130112
it's Stuckie himself

>>80120999
>t. My favourite movies are goodfellas and 2001

>>80130610
>americanocentrism
deluded snobs, what about Renoir, Ozu, Fellini, Has or Svenkmajer?
You all just pretend to know "classics". In fact you're at the same level as Stuckmann.

bumpe

>>80105119
We can only hope. But the chances of him dying by drowning in nigger semen are probably higher.

>>80103328
>e-celebs

>>80132585
>e-people

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>>80127638
>All of that

>>80132598
shill

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>>80132772
is it the best you can do?

>>80128374
>"I've helped people out of suicide"

i think it might've been the other way around

>>80127638
>breitbart
Interesting. Is stuckmann redpilled?

>>80134282
Lmao i bet he wouldnt hesitate letting Gosling fuck his wife if he had the chance

>>80134412
Chris has such a hard on for Goose but then again so do i

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>tweeting the director that you bought a DVD of his movie

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>>80135289
>before it sold out

HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHA

>>80135289
I wouldn't take a copy of Dr. Strange on blu ray if someone gave it to me for free.

>>80128827
It does seem like he has some sociopathic tendencies.

>>80135424
but it's the CINEMATIC UNIVERSE EDITION, anon

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>>80135289
>i added 1 more good boy point with my purchase

>>80125425
He didn't get banned. He does have a show on Screen Junkies plus.

>>80135289
shouldn't he tweet to the producer? Jenkins has just got his money

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I can't believe it he actually said this

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>Chris
>redpilled
for you... DO NOT EVEN SUGGEST THAT

>>80135289
>I was a fan of gay blacks all my childhood. I remember my father had this VHS tape of a two black men giving eachother a handjob and I watched it at least a hundred times.

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>>80138325
already imagined his shit full of not digested corn

>>80130293
WAHT A TWIST! Maybe its the twiter where chris can say what he really wants, it would explain why he looks so dead in his reviews hes hiding his anti-social rage.

>>80103328
AND WE CANT GET A FUCKING JENNY THREAD REALLY?!??!?!?

FUCK MAN

>>80138207
>bill paxton
>character actor
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Remember guyce, check audible dot com slash chris

>>80138207
>He was always an imminent part of my childhood.
there he goes again, mentioning how he was always a big fan of someone
is this some kind of mental disorder?

>>80103446
Tell that to Zod's snapped neck.

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Did his wife have a crush on Jeremy Jahns by chance?

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WAIT FOR IT GUYCE

>>80138373
kek

>>80138748
My guess is Chris thinks that saying an actor/movie franchise was a big part of his childhood is a way for him to gain some kind of credibility with movie fans.

It reminds me of Mac in this scene from Sunny in Philadelphia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pTcUuLRAwo

>>80135289
Absolutley pathetic.

>>80138913
I know /tv/ has a mancrush on Goose but Chris is just fucking pathetic. If Ryan wanted to fuck his wife Chris would 100% let him do it

>>80138913
You think a pair of glasses could fool the world's greatest detective?

>>80139000
Looking at this picture, I've never been more angry at him.

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mane he's autistic

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>>80139133

>>80139299
It was autism to even think they were meaning to offend him in the first place.

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>>80139353
but he's so possesive, invasive and insistent

I think Chris has low self esteem and social anxiety.

>>80139461
What the fuck

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ok, now that's suspicious.
If everything was a part of his childhood - why hasn't he got bigger collection? He got VHS, DVDs and so on. Why not comic books?

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another CHILDHOOD thread

>>80139299
This really pisses me off. Just look at the way the tweet is worded.

>I'm not upset with redlettermedia.
This is already presupposing that RLM did something wrong by accurately calling Chris a dick in their COMEDY video, and Chris has every right to be upset with them. But look, Chris isn't upset with them, wow, how noble of him!

>I know they didn't mean any harm
Harm? Really? This guy puts himself out on the internet in front of millions of people and then gets called a dick once in a joking manner and acts like it caused him harm. Playing the victim like the thin-skinned insecure little bitch he is.

>>80139484
He does seem awkward in social situations, you can notice the difference. when is he at home doing his normal videos he seems ok then when he appears on other shows or vlogs he often appears tense and is mostly quiet

>>80139699
Not hating on stuckmann I actually quite like watching him, I like his collection vids more than his reviews though

>>80139689
I don't care to make fun of sensitive people but I agree that actually implying they did him harm is fucking pathetic.

this thread has given me a lot to think about

>>80128374
red letter media pls go

>>80139799
>I actually quite like watching him
Holy shit... 18+ kiddo.

>>80139934
Yeah like how the fuck did it stay up for 24 hours

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>>80140007
>mfw this thread has been up for 24 hours

>>80139936
they're shit too
kys my man

>>80103328
more like shit cuckmann

>>80140279
more like Jizz Suckmenn

>>80103574
>author is holding a lightsaber

Why are Star Wars fans so goddamn obnoxious? Trekkies don't do this shit.

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>>80140007
>>80140191
is he aware of this thread? seeing how so full of himself he could be I think he's gonna love the shit we are talking about him here

>>80126384
What is the point of lootcrate if you're only a fan of certain things?

>>80140468
it's because he grew up with Star Wars, the movies and the toys were a huge part of his childhood, he had the original trilogy on VHS and watched them all 100 times until the tapes wore away

>>80140619
>"A refurbished Star Wars is on somewhere or everywhere. I have no intention of revisiting any galaxy. I shrivel inside each time it is mentioned. Twenty years ago, when the film was first shown, it had a freshness, also a sense of moral good and fun. Then I began to be uneasy at the influence it might be having. The bad penny first dropped in San Francisco when a sweet-faced boy of twelve told me proudly he had seen Star Wars over a hundred times. His elegant mother nodded with approval. Looking into the boys eyes I thought I detected little star-shells of madness beginning to form and I guess that one day they would explode.

>'I would love for you to do something for me,' I said.

>"Anything! Anything!' the boy said rapturously.

>'You won't like what I'm going to ask you to do.' I said.

>'Anything, sir, anything!'

>'Well,' I said, 'do you think you could promise never to see Star Wars again?'

>He bursts into tears. His mother drew herself up to an immense height. 'What a dreadful thing to say to a child!' she barked, and dragged the poor kid away. Maybe she was right but I just hope the lad, now in his thirties, is not living in a fantasy world of secondhand, childish banalities."

>>80139000
>Good evening, and welcome to crimewatch. Have you seen this autist?

>>80140834
Scary how well he predicted the future.

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another childhood ladies and gents

Surprised no one has posted his self made "bourne movie" yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBd6IZOxmBU

before anyone moans its posted on someone elses youtube so chris wont get views for this

>>80141330
Literal non-entity

>>80103328
i hate this faggot and his SJW wife

>>80120999
kys

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Literally a thief. Not only a murderer...

>>80141330

That's a pretty lighthearted way to take the death of someone who "WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD."

Did he even make a video about Prince's death?

>>80141330

plot twist:
everything is his childhood becausehes still a child

>>80141759
wait, was Chris an MK monarch subject?

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The tweet that started it all and sealed his fate

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diggin' for some dirt on him really made me sad.
But we can't just leave this guy alone

>>80103328
It's spelled Chris Cuckmann.

>>80141759
>here's an embarrassing moment I'd like to share with you

inb4 Welles comments on Woody Allen

>>80141334
oh fuck hahahahahahahaha

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fuck you guys
chris taught me more than you ever will
just kidding

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Prepare for inpreparable

>>80138207
>part of my childhood

FUCK
OFF
STUCK
MANNNNN

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>>80141334
>You're gonna tell me what I need to know, or I swear to god I'm gonna kill you
>*birds chirping*

>>80142390
He seriously thinks this is good. I feel bad for his poor suffering wife who got roped into this.

The only thing more autistic is his 3 db evolution reviews.

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>>80142447
>The only thing more autistic is his 3 db evolution reviews.

Or maybe this

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>>80138325
Some of his opinions are shockingly reasonable.

>>80142585
I haven't seen the anime but I think it would be stupid if they made a live action Cinderella for example, and decided to make Cinderella Asian instead of white. Stick to what it was in the source material is what I think, but I couldn't care less about Ghost In The Shell

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>tfw bump limit

it's been comfy bros, see you next time

>>80103553
>just jump right into Return of the King instead of watching Fellowship

What a dumb fucking cunt he is. I hate him so fucking much. He reminds me of the kids at school everyone used to pick on because they had an unbearable demeanor to them

>>80103553
>half of it is capeshit

wow. what a film buff!

>bump limit
well... Stuckmann is an idea. Like Batman.