The most insane cinema experience I have ever had

>>80059310
funnest freaking post i ever read

what the fuck

>>80059310
falcon

All this work and not a hint of funny.
Shame on you, OP.

>>80060812

its true though, its not supposed to be funny

its just an intensely traumatizing experience i just had

>>80060866

>intensely traumatizing

Jesus christ, you're a pussy.

I've done volunteering in a retirement home and saw stuff like this everyday. Man the fuck up, you little bitch.

>>80059310
you tried to be subtle, but you weren't subtle enough. downvoted.

>>80059310
What's the problem? Were their shower shitting licenses expired or something?

File: 1488161095557.jpg (12KB, 210x282px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 210x282px

Holy kek. What the fuck kind of theatre has a shower in it through?

File: IMG_2637.gif (2MB, 320x193px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 320x193px

>this happened

File: 7e672717dc05b11d2eaf0950dc81cca1.jpg (17KB, 236x314px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 236x314px

Is the /tv/ cinema universe the greatest and most underappreciated meme ever? It's like some Kafkaesque nightmare

>go to theatre last Tuesday (single's day) to see Lego batman
>tickets for the singles section have a 500% markup (+tip)
>wanna get popcorn and a drink so I fork over a hundred so they'll give me extra butter
>the concessions boy gives me a dirty look as I make my purchase
>tip the ticket ripper $10 on my way in, he points at his watch to make sure I know the rules
>movie is playing on a loop in a cordoned off area of the theatre, security guards keep their rifles trained on me from the projector booth
>I get ready at the entrance and as soon as the buzzer lights up I sprint inside
>run around the room as quickly as I can, hoping the guards can't get a train on me with their rifles
>I can see several dead singles littered across the theatre, they either ran too slow or got greedy and stayed too long
>hastily gorge myself on popcorn and coke as I try to catch glimpses of the movie while running through the theatre
>see another single in front of me, he's trying to eat a twizzler in a single bite and doesn't see the body in front of him
>he trips and falls to the ground as laser dots find his vital organs, shots ring through the theatre and blood sprays the screen as he let's out a blood curdling scream
>I jump over his crippled form but can't hear the movie anymore cuz of the gunfire
>all the noise causes the singles who were hiding behind seats to crawl towards the exit, they're new and probably think the guards won't see
>I know what's going to happen next and start to sprint
>poison gas emits from the seats and the singles who were hiding start to choke and spasm
>make it to the exit just in time and the doors close behind me, I can hear the screams of singles trying to claw their way through the door, the guns are oddly silent as the guards would rather have them suffer
>throw away my garbage, give the trashcan a $15 tip for doing a good job

Anyway I thought it was a pretty good movie, should I go see Logan next Tuesday or wait for Kong?

File: HIGHLANDER.jpg (204KB, 500x400px) Image search: [Google]

204KB, 500x400px

>at an all-nighter event
>films showing 10PM to about 1PM the next day
>tickets are only 75p since it's a celebration for the cinema's 75th anniversary
>get to around 5AM, just sitting down ready for a screening of Highlander
>suddenly hit with an ungodly smell
>there's a girl, probably still in her teens, maybe early 20s, and she's just sat down in the seat beside me
>has matted hair, wearing like 4 layers of clothes, and smells like shit
>she is DEFINITELY homeless
>the stench is unbearable, no idea how she even made it into the building
>she takes her shoes off, curls up into a ball on the chair, and immediately falls asleep
>consider waking her up but don't want to touch her, so just get up and complain to the usher instead
>he comes back with a bouncer (they have bouncers on for late night events since the cinema is in the middle of town and they want to keep the drunks out) who shakes her awake, tells her she has to go, and leads her out of the screening
>the smell still fucking lingers and I have to get up and move seats to avoid it

Highlander was still a fun screening despite this. It's the sort of film best watched with a bunch of sleep deprived people running entirely on coffee, whole cinema was in hysterics the whole way through.

File: 1421031818554.jpg (7KB, 158x250px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 158x250px

>fail penis inspection
>group of normies behind me laughing

File: 1487212878430.jpg (52KB, 780x688px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 780x688px

>>80061882