"Do you have any samples?"

>GOATs
1. Robert
2. Kevin

>thinking with your dick
3. Lori

>meh
4. Daymond
5. Mark

>complete shit
6. Barbara "I'm so confused"
7. Any and all meme guests

>>80041302
Daymond is the shittiest, he is only there for the paycheck.
>a brotha in the hood could do the same and for that reason im out

>>80041213
I wish she would sit on my face

>>80041415
Nobody can be worse than Barbara

>first you're saying you want to make the stuff, then you want to sell the stuff. It doesn't make any sense, and you know what, I don't trust you. There was a kid in high school who looked just like you and he kicked my cat. What's the internet? I'm out.

I'm in, therefore I'm out.

>>80041213
"I want yo make you an offer"
"ok go ahead"
"I'm out"

File: 1483188718727.png (618KB, 792x589px) Image search: [Google]

618KB, 792x589px

>>80041541
sensible kek

Why is Daymond such a baby? Everytime someone doesn't immediately say yes to his deals he's out under the guise of "I like decisive partners".

>thank you Robert, this deal is an even higher evaluation than we were looking for. Not only that, your distribution skills are exactly what this company needs. However, I saw Mark getting mad at basketball games so we're going to give him 85% for a bag of cheetos.

Are Robert and Lori fucking? There's something going on isn't there?

>>80041744
Robert is the cuck

>>80041744
everybody in corporate is fucking. i run Security for a law firm and can confirm almost every day after people go home and only a few are left everybody fucks

>>80041744
>>80041213
How much equity would I have to give up to lick her feet?

>>80041734
kek'd

File: Untitled.png (1MB, 3268x3252px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3268x3252px

>>80041213
Sure, pick one.

>>80042014
What's an .srt? I don't download stuff pls no bully

>>80042045
subtitle

>>80042045
It's a type of file extension that usually deals with just subtitles in a notepad format.

File: robert.jpg (29KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 480x360px

>You have no business model and no sales. Your product makes absolutely no sense and not a single person will ever buy it. But you did bring your dog to the presentation and let me pet him so here's 2 million dollars. I want no equity.

>>80042167
>Have more money than any person could ever need
>overcome with pure joy when he sees a dog

Why is he so perfect, bros?

File: 60667898.jpg (28KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 600x400px

You know what kid, i like you. You remind me of myself when inwas younger: Ambitious, intelligent, and a cock the size of a toddlers forearm.

But heres the thing, anon. Im a shark. Im a great white. You're just a baby great white. I'm the apex predator around here, and i cant afford to let any younger sharks grow big and strong. Im going to buyout your piece of shit company so fast and bury it so far beneath the earth that the only memories of your potentially world changing meme will be of this episode that will never be seen.

And for those reasons, im out.

File: 1474833934249.png (518KB, 682x489px) Image search: [Google]

518KB, 682x489px

DUDE UBER LMAO

>>80041302
Accurate list

>>80042968
>it's a no Robert or Lori episode
RRREEEEE

>>80042492
kek

Guys other than the fact that Lori looks fucking amazing (with makeup obviously) for a 47 yr old with the amount of stress that is probably on her. What is it that makes her so fucking attractive...?

In hindsight I guess that could be the only reason you need but I still think there is something else I'm missing...maybe I want a hot sugar momma to brutally destroy me everynight and buy me all the vidya and tech I could ever want the next morning...

>>80043368
She looks absurdly thicc in those dresses she wears. Plus, she's a successful intelligent woman while not being a bitch. She's so sweet and fun, which is rare in successful women. It's really an amazing combination

File: nothankyou.jpg (16KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 640x480px

>it's a dumb single mom whore peddles rags episode

File: IMG_20170304_014851.jpg (121KB, 1027x996px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 1027x996px

W-was she horny tonight?

>>80041302
Who are all the guests we've had so far?
>Ashton
Way too shy in the beginning, out of his element, lightens up a little his second time
>Sacca
Not bad, brings some good bantz
>Black music guy with glasses
Boring and forgettable
>Stadium guy, Tisch something?
Old, reminds me of a male Barbara
>Tequila guy who created Petron
Pretty cool, I liked when he made the deal with that random farmer to help grow trees

I had no idea most of the agreed on deals usually fall through. Yes, Robert might come off as a total bro but his deal finalizing rate is the lowest of any of them.

>>80043491
it's amazing how many snub Rob-bro even after he offers them EXACTLY what they asked for

Is there any other show as comfy as this bros? I have every episode on my dvr and an watch 2 a night when I'm winding down

>>80041541
She accuses men of being sexists and she gave the meathead peanut butter bros a deal purely on lust

>>80041213
Who has made the most money?

>>80043473
Everyone was teary on that farmer pitch. Such a feel good moment.

File: 12541237565866.jpg (74KB, 599x473px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 599x473px

>>80043468
I wonder what she's talking about.

>>80043693
Units sold has to be scrub daddy no?

>>80043730
On tonight's episode, they had a weight-loss candy that gave you a tingly feeling in your mouth. Sorry to ruin the suspense

>>80043665
>that episode where Lori and Barbara accuse the guys of being sexist for not wanting to invest in ass-lifting yoga pants
>based Kevin doesn't even give a shit, tells them he would never invest in a product designed to trick men anyways

>>80042167

Robert>Mr.Wonderful>Mark>Daymond>Lori>Barba

Fight me

>>80043787
Robert is great for a while but overall Kevin is the GOAT.
Pull Lori ahead of fibula man

>>80043759
>That episode where Kevin talks about his wine drinking secret society,
Holy shit I might have peed my pants

>>80041540
I'd lick that lazy eye

Someone post the africa copypasta

>>80043545
idk why this always happens either

Is it because they get shocked that DO get exactly what they asked for and therefore they should talk to the other sharks and make a better deal?
Is it because he doesn't randomly get salty and drops deal negotiations for no reason like Daymond or Mark?
Do they think he's incompetent as a helpful business aid?

shit's weird

>>80041705
I think he does it just to flex/create a persona (also probably a lil bit of a baby).
Also gives the added bonus that contestants on the show might rush a deal because of they are worried about his salt I guess?

>>80044054
He doesn't have le star power

>>80044054
Im pretty sure its partially because of your number 1 and 3, mainly 3 but not cause hes incompetent, just that they have probably watched the show and realise that most of his deals are shitty, they are the fewest on the show, besides maybe Daymond, and compared to the other sharks and their deals/companies he really hasn't done anything too spectacular or is much of a great partner (apparently)..

That being said hes still rich as fuck, seems like a super nice dude, and seems like a guy Id get a beer with and talk about how much we hate niggers and arabs...
And also what Lori smells like in person...

I feel like people with more commercial-able products don't give Lori enough of a chance. I don't think they realize how much Boomers buy random shit from QVC. It's free sales.

>>80044124
Unless the contestant has a clothing company or possibly a swimming academy, Daymond should never even fucking offer a deal, dude is so shit its hard to watch the episodes hes in. I mean I seriously can't think of an episode where his wardrobe didnt contain some kind of FELT/SOMETHING FUZZY....that fucking style of his amazes me every single time....

>You asked for $500k for 10% of your company, I'll give you the $500k for 50%
>You have until the end of this sentence to accept I'm out
Mark every fucking time.

>>80044862
Can you give an example of one or a few products you mean? I think i can maybe name a few of what you mean but cant really visualize the products or the episodes, and I know Im missing some, I havent seen the past 2 seasons...

>>80044926
Contestant -"w-woah that's crazy. i-i-is it okay i-if I t-think about it f-for a second and h-h-hear the other Sharks offers??"

*every Shark drops out 5 seconds later*
*contestant walk out of room, with head down*

Sharks - "geez so indecisive!"

>>80044926
This so fucking much. I find Mark pretty gud for a laugh at the expense of his peers on the show or when he just shits on a terrible pitch/idea.
But Jesus Fucking Christ does he "dance" around deals alot...course hes got his share of completed deals, but compared to the rest of the sharks its obvious he really doesnt care or possibly even want to be on the show, regardless of the free advertisement and shit.

For example there was an episode where he asked these 3 asian sisters "If I were to offer you $30 million dollars for your company...would you take it?" The show makes it sound like hes 100% serious, especially when Robert says some shit like "he just offered you 30 million dollars and you turned him down?"...

Then I see that fucking ABC special with some news anchors and the cast of the show, and when they come around to asking Mark about that offer he tries and say that it was obviously a 100% hypothetical deal (even though he didnt mention that in the actual episode in front of the asians...) I guess just 99% of the ultra-rich have ultra-shit personalities. (Cept for like Warren Buffet)

>>80041302
This
If I ever went on shark tank I'd want to make deal with Robert

>>80045249
I saw that exact special too. He says it was """'hypothetical"""" but it's clear to anyone that he 100% dead serious. All the anchors and other sharks called him out on his bullshit after they all saw the clip. I think it's just part of the CEO rich asshole personality: you have to believe your own lies, truly think that you are never wrong, and all of your miscues were due to outside scenarios. If those asian woman accepted the deal I'm sure who would felt like he's the shit

I agree with you about the roasting shit pitches and banter with the other Sharks tho. Basically the only reason he's on the show.

One thing I like about Kevin is that if he makes an offer then 9/10 times he doesn't do any bullshit like "you have 5 seconds to accept my offer or I am out, 5... 4...". Fucking Daymond is always doing that shit. And Mark is unpredictable as fuck usually.

File: 1043.gif (2MB, 280x296px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 280x296px

>>80042014

>>80042968
Fuck this guy... I'd punch him in his rich faggot face if I could.

>>80043403
This.

I think I only seen her get mad once in the 3 seasons I've watched so far.

>>80041302
barb has apparently doubled her networth from investing in shark tank, shes really good for herself but bad for a show because she only invests in actually good ideas and not meme shit that might make her lose money

goat is Kevin though for sure

File: lori ama.jpg (18KB, 939x153px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 939x153px

>>80043730
>>80043468

File: 910891849.jpg (55KB, 569x330px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 569x330px

>There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion. Every year afer the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters. On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki. Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and uttrly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes. At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn. Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles. Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio. Right now, YOU are that piece of flesh.

>>80041213
SAMPLE THIS *unzips dick*

>>80046079
Is she, dare I say, /ourgal/?

>>80046098
hola red.dit

File: 1488576123816.jpg (59KB, 626x640px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 626x640px

>that episode where a black couple tries to guilt trip daymond into investing in their diversity dolls
>gives them a fair offer
>they get greedy and try to milk him for more.
>"it's for a noble cause! Think of all the little oppressed niglets"
>Daymond offers the same amount for the same equity with the stipulation that 10% of their profits must now be donated to charity
>they accept otherwise they would look like the biggest hypocrites on the earth

BTFO
T
F
O

>>80046847
Elite.

>>80046847
they'll get a nice tax deduction year in and year out off that, and plenty of goodwill/attention in the eyes of the public and consumers. hardly a loss.

>>80046847
kids don't want nigger dolls though so it's all for nothing

>>80041883
>Mfw security poorfags actually believe this

t. M&A legal counsel

>>80047239

True in my experience

T. Senior PwC accountant

>>80041705
Robert is the worst with that from what I remember. He usually pulls the 'say yes to me without hearing another offer or I'm out', which leads them to decline him, which leads the other sharks to go out because he didn't go with Robert. Or maybe that only happened once and I can't remember shit.

>>80044054
Definitely your first point, they assume that getting their deal means they are worth more and they get greedy, which sometimes pays off. It's satisfying when someone accepts a deal purely because they got exactly what they asked for from one of the sharks.

>>80045387
Yeah Kevin doesn't put a timer on his deals, also usually doesn't jack up his deal once other sharks drop out. He throws it out there and leaves it on the table until it's accepted or denied

Most of the time his deals are shit for the entrepreneur though

File: bedjet-1.jpg (62KB, 886x665px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 886x665px

>>80046055
The one time I can think of was the ex-NASA engineer who was selling the bed heating system

>Guy getting torn to shreds by other 4 sharks
>Lori trying to ask legit questions
>The guy ignores her for a few minutes to respond to other sharks
>Lori gives a warning she will drop out if he doesn't answer her question
>The guy turns to start talking to barb
>Lori angrily drops out
>Guy tries to get her to come back in after all the other sharks drop out
>Noway

His own fault desu

yet shockingly the British version is better

File: C52-s7LWQAEtOTk.jpg (101KB, 1200x899px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 1200x899px

"I can't see any way to eat this product. And for that reason, I'm out."

File: theblackone.png (479KB, 895x537px) Image search: [Google]

479KB, 895x537px

>and his fashion brand Literally Whubu

Why does Robert always hand Lori her sample?

>>80051412
it's hard to lean forward and get your own sample in a dress

>>80043545

It's Robert's fault for being a nice guy, him offering people what they ask for gives the other sharks a chance to come in and undercut him

File: index.jpg (6KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 300x168px

>>80041213

I OFFERED YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>80051412

he wants to fuck her

now that he's divorced he probably has or at least has tried

>>80046079
I don't get it :(

File: inside-the-shark-tank-pitch-that-ended-with-kevin-oleary-telling-an-entrepreneur-to-get-the-f-out-of-here.jpg (59KB, 1100x550px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 1100x550px

>"Here's my final offer: 50% of your company for $50,000. I want $0.10 royalties on all products but every tenth product is a $0.50 royalty. Every time these royalties add up to create $100 you have to liquidate 0.5% of the quarter's profits to me. Once I double my initial investment I will loan $25,000 to you which you will half to then pay back to me through the stock market. I think you won't get a better offer."

File: mark-cuban-4.jpg.png (703KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

703KB, 1280x720px

>>80053857

>I'm willing to go in with Kevin on that offer, also will you please come to a Mavs game with me? I'm extremely lonely

>>80053936
>>80053857
>"WAIT! Don't say yes to them yet. I'll drop my equity to 20% and... Let's see- okay 20% and I'll let you rub my feet every weekend.

File: images.jpg (6KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 300x168px

>>80054228
Fuck me

File: 1471124396336.jpg (27KB, 500x400px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 500x400px

>>80053936
>>80053857
>>80054228
>>80054256

JUST BE MY FRIEND AND I'LL GIVE YOU 100,000 FOR FREE PLEASE

File: Mark-Shark2.jpg (63KB, 960x640px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 960x640px

>>80054256

let's do it

>>80054301
>"Your dairy-free yogurt with tree bark snack idea is just plain awful and wont work. But you said your dad was an immigrant and sniffled saying this is your dream. Ill give you double the asking price for 1%, sniff."

>>80041744
Robert is a beta orbiter, lol. He wishes he was fucking Lori but that's reserved for Mark

>>80041302
>7. Any and all meme guests
But Sacca is great, he shits on Mark constantly, everyone else seems afraid of him

>>80054439
underrated
>I don't know this product and I think I'm gonna be out on this one
>I come from a family of immigrants who came here with nothing...
>I'll give you double asking for 1%

>>80051410
>its a sheltered anon doesn't know what fubu is post
every shark tank thread

File: exyd3ka.jpg (19KB, 306x306px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 306x306px

>it's a middle-class mom cries about her kids that have lived a great life

>>80043473
Jeff Foxworthy was on a few episodes and seemed pretty cool.

>>80055861
All the streetwise people of the world are familiar with GQ magazine

File: the profit.jpg (83KB, 1280x725px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 1280x725px

>>80043627
If you like Shark Tank I'd recommend The Profit, I actually like it more than Shark Tank desu. CNBC has some great business kino desu, I also enjoy Restaurant Startup.

File: 1488591180591.jpg (91KB, 1000x800px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 1000x800px

>>80056193
>It's an "It's an x episode" poster forgets to put episode at the end of his post episode

>>80056633
Help helper pepe does not bully >:^(

>>80047449
Agreed

t. billionaire

>>80051161
Robert is probably the most closed-minded shark in the tank. If he doesn't "get" the idea, he won't invest. Even Kevin is willing to make an offer if the sales are there but Robert still won't.

>>80046847
That episode was hilarious because they knew they fucked up

>>80056833

He's also the most fucking insecure, if he makes an offer and the entrepreneur even acknowledges the existence of another shark afterwards he freaks out. Even Kevin seems to respect the fact that the entrepreneurs want to hear from all of the Sharks

>>80056833
>Robert is probably the most closed-minded shark in the tank. If he doesn't "get" the idea, he won't invest.
Theres nothing wrong with that though. If you don't get the product, how the fuck are you going to figure out the best strategy to make it a household name?

>>80056833
>>80057164
>>80057858

>be robert
>get asked to do some dumb canadian show
>agree
>have horrendous pitches https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG0HatIiehk
>show is successful
>mark burnett asks you to join the american one
>say yes
>all you really want to do is run your IT company
>people keep asking you to value their cafe with $200k in sales at 1 million because of franchising oppurtunities

He's the smartest shark. Kevin and Mark got lucky selling companies for billions during the tech bubble that were later written down to zero. Robert has provided value in that industry for decades. And he's still actively involved with that company. He doesn't have time to waste with branding bullshit like Barbra.

who /powerlunch/ here

>>80045387
>>80050923
That's what makes him a disciplined venture capitalist.

>>80058317

How is Barbara not richer or more well known when she's supposedly le real estate queen of Manhattan or something

File: pepe wizard.jpg (14KB, 323x250px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 323x250px

>>80056696
I agree.
upboated

>>80042492
kek, mr. wonderful is truly the alpha of all sharks

I bought a dozen cases of MealEnders this week

>>80058441
Because they oversell her, a lot. It's always the company she founded leads the market in sales, but they don't mention
>she's not the only partner and doesn't own much
>agents get commission too

she's trying to do the same thing kevin did
>act like your really wealthy on tv
>develop enough brands until you are

when I realized she doesn't have much money and can't compete with the wealthier ones financially so mostly just plays the single mom card I stopped disliking her, she also just has to be out more in general

Worldwide the guy with the most deals was a Canadian billionaire who almost died of cancer and was on tape saying

>my kids have enough, I'll try to grow the rest so I can give leave it for charity and have some fun

File: young-kevin-oleary.jpg (17KB, 511x383px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 511x383px

>I'd like to make you a deal, I have one ounce of BC bud that you can have for the low price of a lifetime royalty of 3% of your pretax salary
>It's a good deal, you should take it, I'll even throw in a couple blotters

File: sweating towel guy 1.jpg (28KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 300x300px

>>80054339
>Sharing a bed with Lori

>>80052573
The most well-known McDuff is a manslayer

File: unjust.jpg (92KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 1366x768px

JUST

>>80058888
checkd

File: Screenshot_20170304-135919.png (3MB, 1440x2560px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1440x2560px

>>80058939
I believe it

>>80041302
Kevin and Barbara are GOATs

>>80059223
yea barbara does look like a goat really

I miss Ashton Kutcher

>>80058987

His hairline seems to be receding pretty badly here, transplant?

>>80059503
he's even more of a memeshark than the Uber one

>>80041302

>robert "please be my friend" herjavec
>GOAT

You have the worst opinions.

>GOAT
Kevin

>Bro tier
Daymond
Cubes

>Crying makes women look weak tier
Barbara

>QVC tier
Laury

>Laury has a bigger dick than tier
Bawlin' Bob

File: mark-cuban-explains-what-he-hates-most-on-shark-tank[1].jpg (93KB, 881x661px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 881x661px

STARTING MY SHOT CLOCK, YOU'VE GOT TWENTY FOUR SECONDS TO MAKE ME CUM OR I'M OUT!

>>80060055
Daymon is objectively the most boring shark on the show

>>80060102
Listen here whiteboi. You don't understand what Daymond went through to get where he is today

File: Screenshot_2017-02-21-22-18-20-1.png (36KB, 254x223px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 254x223px

>>80060180

>>80060102

He's maybe the least interesting. But next to the girls (robert and laury), he at least comes off as a serious investor.

>>80041213
>you will never lick her feet

>>80041302
Pretty accurate but Cuban deserves his own tier below GOAT but above Daymond.

>>80045249
Mark is too invested in the Mavericks since he's the GM to take Shark Tank seriously I think.

>>80051030
That's exactly the scene I was talking about lol.