>character takes a shower >only washes his hair

>>80034983
>character takes a shower
>doesn't jack off

>frog shitposter
>doesn't shower at all

>character takes a shower
>no slow-motion close-ups of his freshly shaven, smooth balls

>>80035054
/thread

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>characters in the bathroom with the camera on the door
>hear a loud flush and the character instantly walks out the door

How do they wash their hands so fast?

>character takes a shower with eyes closed
>opens them
>jump scare

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>>80034983
>Character takes a shit
>It doesn't take him half an hour
>He doesn't siphon the excess blood out of the toilet bowl and use it to make homemade black pudding

I liked edge of seventeen because it showed her trimmin her pussy hair

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>character uses body wash
>it's not Irish Spring™

>character takes a shower
>doesn't spread ass cheeks with hands because he can't get the soap off his butthole

Does anyone only soap their ass, balls and armpits. Why would I need to scrub my shins, arms etc? I feel like the water steaming over them is good enough.

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>character is in his bed alone under the covers
>doesn't fart intensively

>>80035481

I shampoo my hair and soap my dick, balls and armpits twice. That's about it.

>character takes a shower
>doesn't turn on the water before going in to ensure it's not too cold or hot

>character has a boiler and doesn't exclusively shower with cold water or sometimes mild warm water when the sun heats his water tank enough

>>80035481
dead skin cell accumulation, most noticeable in the areas where the shower water doesn't reach enough like the back of your legs and thighs, can turn into flakes if left unwashed for a while.

>>80034983
>Character taking a shit
>doesn't peel back the shower curtains to check for spooky shit first

>character takes a shit
>always has a full page newspaper or magazine to cover their genitals

>>80035010
Pleb-tier

>>80035278
they didn't

>>80035418
Fug I actually use Irish spring

Which one do you use, fäm?

>>80035442
Are you me?

>>80035826
Kek

>>80035010
American Beauty

>>80035059
kill yourself faggot

>character doesn't brush his teeth in the shower to save time

>>80035826
I'll never understand people who need to read in the toilet

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>>80035876

Bearglove. It's the only Old Spice wash that doesn't smell like wood chips and ass.

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>>80036048
>Character wets his tooth brush with hot water

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>character takes a shit
>doesn't leave it to steam up from the shower

>>80036140
Alright my dude I'll check it out

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>character takes a shit
>just sits on the toilet and does it without using an enema

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>character brushes teeth dry

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>character takes a shit
>doesn't cover the surface with toilet paper first to prevent water from splashing up

>character has a shower
>immediately lathers up hair and washes it as soon as they get in
>doesn't spend 45 mins thinking about life and re-imagining potential arguments with people until the water starts to get cold then quickly washes hair before it runs out

>>80036135
I only read if I'm taking a shit for longer than a few minutes, which is rare.

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>character takes a shit
>doesn't sit on the toilet for 30 minutes without flushing so he can smell his loaf while shitposting on /tv/ from his cellular phone

>>80036240
stop wasting water faggot

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>character takes a shower
>doesn't play music and lip sync in the mirror

>>80036135
I have a bucket next to my toilet that is filled with comics.
Keeps my mind off my hemorroids and the idea of what my asshole looks like after all these years of eating shitty food and sitting on the computer.

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>character pisses in the shower
>he aims at the drain

>>80036240
>running out of hot water
What kind of a 3rd world country do you live in?

I have never had that happen to me.

>>80036240

>his hot water lasts longer than 10 minutes

look at Mr.Moneybags over here.

>character doesn't poop during the shower and shove the shit down the shower drain with his foot.

>>80036400
>character doesn't pee in the sink
What the fuck Hollywood?!

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>>80036155
>character needs to pee
>steps out of the shower instead of just peeing into the drain

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>character sleeps in bed next to someone

>>80036240
a-are you me?

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>>80036240
>doesn't spend 45 mins thinking about life and re-imagining potential arguments with people

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>>80036400
>not aiming for the drain

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>capeshit movie
>bad guy aims gun as capeshit character
>capeshit character bends barrel into a knot

>character takes a shower
>doesn't cry and silent scream for a while
>doesn't squat while putting his hands around his face while rocking back and forth

seriously

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>character is in loving relationship with a pretty woman
>character has a succesful career

>>80036667
name one time this happens that isn't superman, wonderwoman, a parody or a cartoon

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>Character takes shower
>doesn't lay on the shower floor and take take a shower nap

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>Character takes a shower
>Doesn't aim the showerhead straight to his asshole and sprinkles it with a hot stream

Seriously did those writers even take a shower once in their lives?

>character takes shower
>doesn't take off cape

>>80036887
Harry Potter

>>80035418
>not using dove™

Kill yourself my man

>>80036972
>Harry Potter
>capeshit
Every retarded film isn't magically (pun intended) capeshit

>>80036887
Robocop you fucking queer

>>80036994
>not using goat soap
Faggot.

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>>80037059
>implying robocop isn't a parody

>>80037170
Having satirical elements doesn't mean it's a parody.

>>80037038
>MC is a super hero with super special powers
>he literally wears a cape

>>80037215
>satirical elements
>aka the entire film
what did he mean by this?

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>>80037170
>not recognising the the difference between parody and satire.

>>80037263
what is the line ''Bitches leave'' a parody of?

>character has a shower
>doesnt clean his asshole with the shower head on full stream

>character takes a shit
>doesn't go through a roll of toilet paper while getting frustrated that the shit isn't getting cleaned out and now there is blood on every wipe

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>>80037499

>he doesn't use a bidet or wet wipes

you chose this

>>80037357
>It doesn't bring him to orgasm

>>80035442
>>80035888
who doesnt spread their ass cheeks in the shower? how else are you gonna clean your asshole?

>>80036414
depends of the heating system of your home, many houses have hot water "balloons" that can withstand like 4 normal length showers then take a couple hours to fill up again.

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>>80036667

>capeshit movie
>is literally the exact same premise as every single other capeshit movie in existence
>capeshit movies keep getting made and planned for at least the next decade

>>80037876
I don't know if it's funny or sad but the Winter Solider movie was a straight up rip-off of the Winter Soldier animated film that came out a couple years earlier.

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>>80037876

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>showering
>need to shit but it's too cold to get out
>shit into hand and throw it to the toilet
>miss
>leave it until the next morning

>>80037876
Like Logan?

>>80037943
jesus, man

>>80035059
Kek

>>80038157
where do you think you are?

>>80038223
i was wondering where the upvote button was for a second lol

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>character wakes up
>doesn't desperately try to fall back asleep for another 5 hours to ward off the anxiety attacks
it's not even realistic bros

>>80037918
hmmmm. Even though it looks like a lot of these have folded, Cinema is well and truly dead.

>>80034983
>character takes a shower
>washes his face and hair with a bar of soap

>character gets out of shower
>puts their shirt on without drying themselves

>>80037943
kek

>>80036203
T H I S


Who the fuck does this?

>>80035278
>not washing your hands on the fresh water flowing into the toilet

Why waste extra at the sink?

>>80037733
>whilst thinking about tommy lee jones in the fugitive

>>80035010
>character turning on laptop
>doesn't jack off

>>80038192
kill yourself queer

>>80038306
>not drugging yourself to sleep every night.

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>Character is on the toilet
>Doesn't browse /tv/

>character takes a shower
>lathers soap on his body
>puts same lathery soap in hair too

Do people in TV land not use shampoo and conditioner?

>>80038911
I take 15mg of melatonin every night. I don't think it's healthy for my brain because it's a hormone but it's the only way I can sleep for 12 hours straight. I wish I was able to find a heroin dealer but I wouldn't know where to start.

I shower in like 6 minuets and I'm 6'2 200.


you fagets like warm water or something

>>80038984
the effect of melatonin doesn't scale up with increased doses. All that does is increase the chance of side effects like headache and grogginess when waking up.

You only need to use a fraction of a pill for full effect, in reality.

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I haven't showered in at least 3 months. I just wash my hair in the tub quickly if I have to go out. Thank you winter for allowing me to hide my smell under layers. Showers are fucking unpleasant

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>>80039056
interesting that will save me some money thanks.
>>80039068
Having dry skin sucks balls. I hate showering so much. I only shower twice a week because it's physically painful to have such dry skin. I can't take cold showers. I usually shower right before bed to avoid having to feel the dryness for half a day. Using lotion makes me feel gross too so that's not an option, it also gives me acne sometimes.

>>80039170
I don't really have a dryness issue but showers seem to make my body acne worse somehow. I have noticibly less now after not showering compared to when I showered frequently and washed well in an effort to get rid of it.

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>character takes a shower
>doesn't put the soap bar deep up his asshole and shit it out to make his asshole squeaky clean

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>character doesn't wake up alone and lies in bed contemplating where his life went wrong

>>80039170
>I can't take cold showers
You can I believe in you.

>>80038785
my toilet has a little sink built into the bowl for this im not even joking

>>80039593
Pics or GTFO

who /sinkpisser/ here? You can literally piss and wash your hands at the same time.

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>Character farts
>doesn't get up and take a big whiff of the cushion

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>Character takes a shit
>there's no blood

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>character pukes into toilet
>not all over the sink and counter on mommy's things

bitch

>>80037943
>Years ago
>Buy those asteroid Hot Cheetos, eat the whole thing
>After awhile my stomach starts hurting terribly, ask to go home because we were at the river
>Any moment I could shit my pants so I'm freaking out
>Manage to get back to our house, no crisis yet
>Get to the toilet and for some reason I bent down when pulling down my pants, the moment I did a mountain of loose shit fell out of my ass and plopped on the floor
>Wiped it up with a towel, threw it behind the toilet and pretended like that never happened

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>character flushes toilet
>doesn't close lid first

>>80036135
I browse /tv/ on my phone, and shitpost

>>80034983
>character is at home
>he's not jerking off or looking at porn

>>80036135
It takes my mind off the fact that I'm shitting in public

>>80039882
Kill yourself phone poster

>>80034983
>>character takes a shower
>>Doesn't pee
That breaks immersion for me

>>80039834
>threw it behind the toilet and pretended like that never happened
What happened to the towel?

>>80039904
>doesn't shitpost on /tv/

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>Character jerks off
>Doesn't scream that his piss is burning immediately after

>>80039911
explain yourself

>>80039986
piss after orgasm feels amazing, dude.

>>80039963
It was gone, I had been complaining about my stomach so someone knew but didn't say anything I suppose.

>>80036887
The Dark Knight. He didn't mean like a fucking bow knot.

>>80040005
I've always hated shitting in a stall or generally anywhere not at home, but unless I really have to go I just read something on my phone so I don't think about it

>>80040056
You must have a decent mother anon.

>>80040158
where abouts are you shitting in public?

>>80038942
Heyo, kacey-fella

>>80040158
>I've always hated shitting in a stall
Is your toilet at home not in a small contained room?

>>80039593
Are you in prison?

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>>80039593
Something like this?

>>80041682
yes you got me

>>80036235
>not praying that your shit drops just right that the water splashes up onto your asshole and the sudden coolness causes your hole to clench and suck the water up inside you

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>character takes a shit
>faces forward

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>character takes shower
>doesnt stay for an uncomfortably long time because while in the shower they can avoid all the their problems and anxieties for just a little bit before they have to face reality again

haha