>and the award for best actor in a leading role goes to...ANON!

Hitler did nothing wrong

Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.

Trump bad.

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>>79904721
I-I'm a b-big guy!
FOR YOU!
*Silence. Some coughs heard from audience*
*REEEEEE offstage crying*

Later end the night with a three way playdate with roon roon and alex

>>79904721
All things are possible thru God

>>79904721
WWII Lasted a total of 6 years.

Assuming that Hitler started gassing Jews since day 1, that makes for 3,153,600 minutes.

6,000,000 Jews killed during 3,153,600 minutes comes out to 1.9 Jews per minute. That means Hitler killed roughly 1 Jew every 30 seconds.

In Auschwitz, the most famous and biggest concentration camp, there are 15 crematoriums. According to Auschwitz survivors, Jews would go into the chamber, gassed for 15-20 minutes, then put into the oven.

It takes 1 hour to cremate a body using modern furnaces which operate at much higher temperatures than the traditional ovens at the camp. However, lets say that the ovens were operating at a level that we see today, that means it would take 1 hour, 20 minutes to gas and burn 15 Jews assuming they were all burned simultaniously. (Disregarding the time it would take for the gas to empty the chamber for the bodies to be transported from the chamber to the oven.) The elevators used to transport bodies were very slow and could only take up 7 bodies at a time with their weight capacity. However, for our greatest ally, we're going to assume that bodies were teleported instantly from chamber to oven.

That means 15 Jews were gassed and burned every 1.2 hours. That comes out to exactly 300 Jews every 24 hours (Assuming the gassing and burning of Jews was happening every hour straight for 6 years on an uninterrupted basis) the total # of killed jews would be 657,000 for those 6 years. The official Jewish story is that 4,000,000 Jews were killed at Auschwitz alone.

>>79904721
*walk on stage*
*receive oscar from emma stone*
>"congratulations", she says as we hug
>"you too"

>>79904910
but what about the records that the germans kept themselves of all the deaths?

>>79905055
show them to me

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>>79904910

I would say
"I have no speech, so I'm gonna recite the lines to opening plane scene to the dark knight rises in its entirety until i'm played off"

Then I would so recite the lines to opening plane scene to the dark knight rises in its entirety until i'm played off

>>79904721
fuck trump

Dis fo' all da black n brown kidz yo

>>79904721
the jews did this

>>79904721
>Anon could not be with us tonight so I will accept this award on his behalf

never nominate me or my wife's son again

>>79904721
I just won an academy award... How bow dah?

>>79904910
At what point do you think the music would start playing.

>>79904910
>jews only died in the gas chambers

stupid fucking cunt

>>79904721
Keaton should've won.

"Thanks!"

>>79904721
God, he's so cute.

I just want to rape him.

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As a big guy, this award has been a long time coming. I want to thank the director, my costars, and especially my wife, the bane of my existence.

Wow. Just wow. What an honor. But I didn't get here alone. So many people I'd like to thank - Smee, Maimen, But Onlee, Juan Ovyu... I could go on...

>Kill all minorities! Race war now!

I guess since everyone else is goofing around.
(Imagine a slow, cool voice, not a spazzy redditor)
>Wow! Hahaha. Okay, this is happening. Get it together Ray, we've practiced for this a million times. Ricky Gervais isn't here so I'd like to thank God almighty for allowing me to get to this point. I'd also like to thank Jesus for supporting me and being there for me when I needed him most. He would've been here but unfortunately he was illegal and got deported last week. Thank You for that...Trump. In all seriouslness there are so many to thank for this honor, to many people to list but just know, I will personally thank you when this is over, I could not be here if it weren't for you. I remember growing up, many children would look up at the stars in the sky and say they were gonna be astronauts. Not me. All of you here, were the stars I looked up too. And deep down I just knew, that'd be me one day. Hollywood was my final frontier and I'm glad to say...mission accomplished. Thank you, it's been a privilege. OH! Quick shout out to my high school economics teacher. Suck it chump! I did it!

>>79904721
"Cool."

>>79904721
>wow, this caught me off guard thanks! all i wanted was to come to sniff emma stone feet but this is cool too

>I can't wait to go home and put this thing in my ass. I bet it feels awesome.