What's the best way to sneak candy into the movie theater?

>>79783248
In your pocket.

In your vagina.

Stop being a pussy and just walk in with it, pussy

in your ass

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In your tummy

>>79783248
There's a video I've seen with several bags worth of gummy worms and nature's pocket.

>>79783248
You already posted the best way.
It only works in America, tho.

>>79783248
Eat it before. It's hidden in your belly when you enter the theater.

Wala.

>>79783248
Drone

>>79783248
Make your falcon carry it.

>Be American
>Go to movies
>Get Gummie Bears

>>79783248

hide it under your disgusting drooping man breasts.
no theater security will look under those sweat sacks.

>>79783248
I usually just fill up my pockets with snacks.

>>79783353
>Wala

It's "Voila" you fucking philistine.

Dont you own a jacket or some shit? It isnt complicated.

I just have my gf act like she's pregnant and she brings a bar of wine in under her shirt so she looks pregnant. She hides big cups on her tits for us to drink out of too. They aren't checking that.

>>79783248
What are you sneaking in that you cannot fit in your pockets?

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that's why you should always bring your pet pelican at your local cinéhall, the throat pouch is the perfect storing space for candies and such

>>79783248

wear full Ninja gear, wait until the lights go down and then stealth crawl to your seat.

In your stomach.

>>79783944
:^}

>>79783248
in your mouth

>>79784088
You don't have a gf

>>79783328

Careful they don't pick your pocket!

>>79785005
Yes I do, you just don't know her she goes to another school.

>>79783944
rused

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I use one of these

>>79783285
In most Americlap theaters they literally will not let you in if you have anything. We had to wait on one of our buds one time because she wasn't allowed in because she had a small starbucks coffee.

>>79783944
Actually it's 'Voilà', but nice try.

>>79786485
;^) Rused.

>>79784243
Until they whip out the flashlight shining through it revealing the silhouette

>>79783944
Okay, Mr. Harvard, any other fucking lessons you wanna teach us, you little bitch?

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>>79786513

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wiggle wiggle wop!! lol

I tell the staff I'm diabetic and I have literally never been told I couldn't bring my own bottle coke and even candy into the theater.

Plus, according to the ADA, they can't ask me to prove I'm diabetic. I actually am Type One, but if you guys say it and aren't, they can't ask you to prove it.

The candy and coke is "if my blood sugar gets low" but I just eat and drink them anyway.

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>>79783248
Human mule

the "anti-citizen" falcons always smell them otherwise

You posted it though

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>>79786602
you don't stop!!

>>79783248
take a backpack and put some food in it, then put a towel on top. put some normal shit on top of the towel, and then put a 2nd towel on top of the normal shit. my dad sneaks pies into the theater doing this, they never check after the 1st towel layer.

girlfriend's purse and/or a jacket pocket

>>79786541
Only if you buy this bridge I have for sale first. It's a great deal.

>americans can't go for two hours without eating

>>79786861
The most food I ever saw being eaten in a theater was in England. They had shit that we would eat for full meals sitting on their fat inbred laps. Cut the shit faggot.

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>>79786782
>girlfriend

>>79783248
girlfriend's anus. When you're craving some candy she just needs to pretend to take a dump into your mouth. No one would ever suspect a thing.

>>79786782
This.

>gf brings in a small bottle of bourbon and two sodas for us in her purse
>I drink the bourbon
>She gets mad when I get drunk and call the movie shit
>Argue the whole way home as she drives which also makes her mad because she doesn't like to drive at night because woman
>Have half sober makeup sex
>Rinse and repeat

We've been doing this shit for years now.

>>79786612
They'll just tell you to buy candy and coke there instead.

best way is to just break into the cinema at night when the security is low and stash sweets somewhere people wont notice

toilet-bowl is an option, godfather style, or you can cut a small hole in the bottom of a screen and drop them behind

>>79787176
>No one would ever suspect a thing
no one would ever suspect you of smuggling candy, I guess that's true.

I hide things under my falcons wings.

I used to hide them down the barrel of my sniper rifle but now we have to check them in I've had to rethink.

It comes in handy being 500 pounds because there's lots of places on my body to hide candy. I just stash stuff between my belly roles.

My grandpa keeps hard candies in his cheeks and he spits them into my mouth when we kiss.

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>>79787533
what

>>79787525
Lol I do this, but sometimes I forget I hid candy and find it days later when I'm washing myself with a rag on a stick in bed.
That's usually a good day as I eat it up right away and saves me a trip to getting on my Rascal and riding into the kitchen for a snack.

>>79787644

What? You don't like candy?

>>79786532
>not coating your pelican's throat pouch with black FlexSeal™ to block light

fun-fact: the term 'sacrificial lamb' comes from the early days of cinema when juvenile sheep were the kino-pet of choice; wily patrons would stuff their lamb with candy and popcorn and open it with a knife during the viewing, thus avoiding the rapacious sweet counter.

Cinemas soon banned lambs, due to the pungent aroma of eviscerated livestock, difficultly in cleaning bloodstains and declining snack revenues. This was a contributing factor to the rise of the falcon as dominant kino-pet in the USA.

>>79788149
That's suspicious as hell, dude

>>79783248
Two words

Anal cavity

>>79783285
>wanting to get shot

>>79783248
In America, are people not allowed to bring knapsacks?

>>79788241
This used to be good before the stewards started finger tests after our delousing

>>79788214
Not really. Many pelican owners in my city spray FlexSeal all over their pelicans to cover the feathers in order to keep the from flying away. The new restrictions on flying pets have changed a great many things here.

>>79788241
You can't anymore.
They look over there after you penis inspection.

>>79788189
Fun fact: the temple at Jerusalem was the first movie theater, hence why the Romans destroyed it because the jews had pleb taste.

>>79783248
Inside a double condom, with lube, inserted in your ass.

>>79787176
a sound plan

>>79788307
>The new restrictions on flying pets have changed a great many things here.
Fucking trump is ruining everything

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>>79787201
>getting drunk off a tiny bourbon shooter

fuckin neck yourself familam

>>79788567
I mean, they had to do it. Yeah, it would be nice to have class-based falconry hierarchy like in the middle ages, but too many people have lost their birds to the high-tier falcons and eagles and the city was tired of the constant lawsuits.

If you don't execute the role of kinema ballerman, you won't be invited back

For sweets, put one in each ear and pretend they're earplugs. If the staff ask you about it, just pretend you can't hear them.

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my theater only does a quick cursory patdown, so i usually tape one of these to the small of my back. then after getting in you can just pretend to be stretching and retrieve it

>>79788794
>tiny bourbon shooter
>Doesn't know what a pint bottle is

If you can't get pretty buzzed off a pint of liquor in two hours you need more than help you need to give lessons.

Just put it in your cargo shorts you fucking neckbeards

>>79789079
they don't really pat you down do they

>>79783876
>Get shot

>>79789181
it used to just be a metal detector, but then someone snuck a knife in with his belt buckle and stabbed another patron in a shower dispute.

>>79789170
>wearing cargo shorts and calling other people neckbeards

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>>79783248
movie night best night

>Not sneaking in delicious caramel treats in your grandma's foreskin

As you jerk her off they drip melty gooey caramel into your mouth because the body heat has melted them.

>>79789170
>wearing cargo shorts in february

>>79789321
Being an amputee would be awesome.

I usual hid one or two sneakers bars in my pocket toothpaste dispenser after they made it mandatory to wash your teeth before projections at my local flickrama

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I tell the usher I'm diabetic and my bag of snacks is for blood sugar emergencies and forcing me to buy snacks at concession so I don't die is illegal. They always let me in with no issues.

once I tried to sneak into the teather a fizzle candy powder bag by hiding it under my foreskin
everything went all right until the big titted clerk at the anvil renting kiosk gave me a boner and the bag sudddenly opened
worst mistake of my life, not even the resident stress-reliever pet pelican was able to calm me down until they had to bring me to the cinema's synagogue for an emergency circumcision

>>79783312
Pretty sure I've seen this. What movie is it from ?

>>79783248
I usually stuff 7-8 fist sized jawbreakers into a condom then shove them up my ass.

>>79791758
Not him, but I'm 99% sure it's The Dark Knight.

>>79791758
The dark knight rises

>>79791758

The Dark Knight

>>79791758
It's from "The Dark Knight". The scene where the police discover that the joker has actually rigged a guy they just arrested with explosives, which he then detonates via mobile phone.

>>79783285
>he's never been to an american theater
It's basically like going through airport security. They pat you down to make sure you don't sneak shit in.

>>79791930
but, anon, there's a simple trick to avoid the nuisance, you just have to scream from the top of your lungs AM I BEING DETAINED and you'll see everything will be just fine

>>79791930
Its to make sure you have a gun actually. It wouldn't be safe to have unarmed people in a theater.

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>>79784243
but what if your pelican malfunctions?

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>>79791758
it's a big scene

>>79783279
Post feet pls

>>79792827
Is that pelican trying to eat himself?

>>79793033
what a dreadful use of photoshop

>>79783279
In my vagina?

>>79783248
Inside crab legs.

>>79793793
it's more likely than you think.

>>79790877
COCAINUM!!

>>79793033
4U man of dubs

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>>79786462
>buds
>she
FUCK OFF NORMIE REEEEE

>>79783248
>FDE
This meme needs to die

>>79793793
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>>79783248
I just smuggled 5 pounds of sour soothers into Resident Evil 8: The Shitfest