Why don't Frodo just hide the ring in his asshole?

sam would have found it

>>79704544
Because it would've slid off onto Sam

Then his asshole would turn invisible and he couldn't properly wipe his ass

>shoving the essence/soul of a Dark Lord up your rectal cavity
I bet his farts would smell like flowers.

he would just turn invisible and then the ringwraiths will just smell his poop wafting all over middle earth and find him alot more e-z since u know the ringwraiths have superhuman senses of smell r u fucking retarted were u paying any attention during the first installment of peter jacksons original blockbuster oscar winning trilogy series, the lords of the rings, the fellowship pf the ring??

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>>79704599
>>79704582

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Just think of what Smeagol would have done.

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He was too busy having other dark things shoved into his Hobbit hole.

>>79704890
>implying he didn't after all those years

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>>79704582
include me in the screencap

>>79704612
>Sauron always feels the presence of the Ring
>Always you say?
>SUCK MY ANUS DARK LORD

>>79704582
Fuck off samefag this joke's been made a million times

Was mordor the only place in middle earth with a Volcano? Because couldn't you just throw it into any Volcano and it would be impossible to find or even get?

>>79704544
Sam's dick would have found it.

>>79704544
Does that count as wearing it?

>>79704544
Having a ring in his asshole would have made it very uncomfortable to it on an eagle's back for the duration of the flight to Mordor.

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>>79704890
>Implying he didn't use it as a cock ring

what does orc cum taste like?

>>79705835
Just wait for volcano to erupt and cool then force all your orc bitches to excavate the site of fresh lava rock til it's found.

Sauron would have the patience

Why didn't Galadriel just wear it as a toe ring and then proceed to peg everyone?

>>79706232
>Thinking that giant 500 foot eye wouldn't see a huge eagle flying his way

>Thinking that giant 500 foot eye wouldn't send his airborne ring wraiths to kill the giant eagle

People who use the "why didn't they just fly there" meme are legitimately retarded.