Did anyone here ever have sex with a celebrity? What was it like?

>>79664052
yes, your mother

Whores are like a pseudo celebrities

yes. bill cosby. its a little hazy..

Leonardo DiCaprio “is selfish, lazy and downright rude,” says a source whose BFF bedded the 41-year-old Oscar winner. “She told me that during the act, Leo put on headphones and even started vaping! Then he signaled her to keep going while he just laid back and zoned out.”

The woman was so confused by the situation that she just carried on, embarrassed and hoping for things to change. But Leo continues to lie there, listening to MGMT, while his “date” was left wondering what was in this for her.

“Leo knows women are mesmerized by his stardom, so he obviously doesn’t care at all whether they’re satisfied or not,” says another insider. “He can sleep with almost any woman he wants without even trying, so it’s no surprise he doesn’t try in bed either.”

No, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express® last night.

I had sex with Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to beef him, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for blowjobs or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and swinging his cock into my face. I closed my eyes and continued with my abuse, and I heard him chuckle as I ejaculated. When he came in my ass I saw him trying to run out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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>>79664052
Is John Barrowman a celebrity enough?

>>79664052

I banged a C list chink. Sober she'd be like a sack f potatoes. Drunk she was my Azn sex doll, she let me pee on her once and would go AtM.

And one Broadway c list actress while she was on a 4 month tour in my city, she was hot AF. She didn't give me any blowies since she needed to sing and shit. She then had to move back to NY

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I had sex with Eddie Redmayne in 2 consecutive dreams. I think that counts.

>>79664531
>C list
so you haven't had sex with any celebrities then

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>>79664571 (((You)))

>>79664722
autism

I smashed Taylor Swift.
ama

Someone post that guy on Reddit who went to a house to shoot heroin and ended up meeting and fucking Lindsey Lohan there. He had pics of her sleeping and everything.

mods, ban op

>>79664319
>listening to MGMT

Leo is stuck in 2008.

>>79664824
What Halo Wars 2 leader should I main in multiplayer?

>>79664943
>he's over 20 years old and plays video gamrs

Holy kek

>>79664943
The one called "stop being a manchild"

I boned Elle Fanning in the ass it was p good

>>79664319
Alpha as fuck.

>What was in this for her
Typical dumb selfish whore. You're fucking Leo. His dick is what's in it for you.

>>79664943
I heard monster chef is pretty good.

Miley Cyrus in '10 before she got too weird.

I've fucked 2 pornstars too. Jezebel Vessir and Taylor Wane.

>>79664969
>>79664994
autism

>>79665047
I don't believe you.

How did you fuck Miley Cyrus?

>>79665107
>fully grown man playing halo wars calling someone else autistic

Wew

>>79665107
>says the faggot playing videogames past 16yo
lmao

>>79665163
>fully grown man posting on 4chan
>on /tv/ of all boards
>not autistic

i'm not gonna get into with you because i know you're just being silly so imma just keep calling you autistic when you reply to me.

>>79665200
autism

>>79665212
>implying you're not posting here with me

Takes an autist to know one my friend

>>79665117

She was in town filming and I got her autograph for my sister who was a huge fan when she was shopping in a store I shopped in. I bumped into her again a couple weeks later, she remembered me and approached me and we just started hanging out a bit when she wasn't shooting, mainly underage drinking and fucking around while we were drunk.

The protip is to just remember they're just as normal as you, if not even more so and they have needs too.

>>79665322
thanks for admitting you have autism

>>79665348
Did you ever tell your sister?

>>79665348

needs like lying on the internet?

>>79664319

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

*breathes in*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

>>79664884
Perhaps that's when the act occurred.

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>>79664943
there's a halo wars 2???

>>79665557
My friend told me it was being shilled hard through ads on youtube but I had adblock, other than that I haven't heard of any advertising

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I touched John C Reilly's penis in 2006 while at a hotel in Houston. We were the only ones in the sauna because it was 3 o'clock in the morning. I was in there because I assumed nobody would bother me at this hour so I could sweat in peace. But here comes this big curly haired dude stumbling into the sauna obviously high on something. He didn't even seem to notice me at first, he sat on the opposite bench and finally looked at me. After chuckling to himself for like a minute and creating a really awkward tension he managed to say "you come here often?" and we both died laughing. Then we just hung out and made jokes. Eventually he started talking about his penis and how crusty the head of his dick was, saying he didn't know what to do. I didn't believe him so he came real close and showed me, and it was in fact really crusty, looked painful, so I touched it like E.T. would and we laughed again. I got tired and left, didn't see him again after that.

I almost got some rebound sex from Emma Stone shortly after she broke up with Andrew Garfield a few years back. I felt her up and fingerbanged her a bit by she passed out drunk and I just couldn't. To this day she doesn't remember any of the foreplay we did, or so she claims.

>>79664319
I'm feelin' rough I'm feelin' raw I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music make some money find some models for wives
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars

This is our decision to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We were fated to pretend.

>>79665916
please let this not be pasta

I had sex with Mindy Kaling back when she was Mindy Chokalingham.

She was chubby and had big ole purplish-brown nipples like a 30 year old woman. I was throwed by that.

Nice girl.

>>79664400
I've seen this pasta before but I don't get the reference, please explain

>>79664824
are you karlie kloss?

>>79664722
Considering the mom from Fresh Off the Boat is literally an A list chink there are definitely no C list chinks tbqhbingbingfam.

Tom Holland, he's fucked up, he wanted me to choke him, slap him, pull his hair hard, then he started telling me to punch him in the stomach and the face and call him a dirty faggot. His cock was rock hard the whole time.

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>>79666644
Impressive

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Fucked a few non-famous models and Taylor Swift all at once at a concert.

>>79664319

Literally me. Is Leo /our guy/?

>>79664319
i wuld do the same if rihanna was smoking my rod just so i could tell marty i did that. marty secretly likes black chicks