New Pirates of the caribbean posters

>>79628160
>not qt keyra

what for? dropped

>>79628160
God what is that grandmummy doing there? Also I can't believe how little they are trying

>>79628160
There is no fucking way this is real.

>>79628160
That has to be fake.

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>this shit was approved for a multimillion company

>>79628160
Look like some shit pantomime poster

>>79628160
this looks like some straight-to-video shit

>>79628160
Is that colin hanks in drag?

Is this straight to DVD?

Stagnetti's Revenge had a better poster

>>79628185
i thought she was in this one? or is that the next one

Their GD department has been dropping the ball lately, true, everything else seems up to par. Didn't this one have financial and delay issues?

>>79628160
Oh Effy, what happend to you?

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wait is scodelario in this movie ?
because I suddenly care about it now

>>79628160
this cant possibly be the real poster

Never knew Bobby became a pirate

>>79628246
bloom looks like a junkie in this one. face is so skinny.

>>79628160
is that Guybrush Tripwood on the right?

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>>79628160
>>79628246
>>79628230
it's real

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>>79628160
>>79628246

Reminds me of that scene on The Mist, where the protag talks about the destroyed painting of a movie poster and waves it off saying the studioo will just throw in a bunch of floating heads as a poster and call it a day.

>>79628336
that's not Orlando Bloom, you autistic nigger

Looks like a panto poster, kek.

>>79628378
uh i'm pretty sure it is pal

>>79628160
What the hell happened to Barbosa is he working for the brits again

>>79628378
lol, I though he was talking about the overusage of bloom in the picture.

Jesus they literally replaced Keira and Orlando. Could they be less subtle?

>>79628393
It's a discount Orlando Bloom but not him

>>79628160

>when you spend the entire budget on an overrated actor, a javier bardem you're barely going to use, and cg effects

>>79628393
you see that fag in op's pic?

>>79628453
>>79628447
i think bloom just aged like shit

>>79628398
isn't it Barbarosa?

>>79628429

Orlando is in it tho.

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>>79628160
It looks like a fucking 1990s Disney sequel. Who the hell signed off on this?

>>79628447
Isn't it supposed to be his son?

>>79628160
>straight to dvd

>>79628160
>>79628246
these look like porn parody posters

>>79628447
Bloom's in it

It's about him losing control over the border between life and death and Salazar raising an army of the dead to take over the seas

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>>79628160
>look it up
>it's fucking real
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I could make something better in photoshop

>>79628560
>photoshop

I could make something better in mspaint

Actually, I will rn, be back in 10-15

Johnny Depp is in trouble, isn't he?

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>>79628160
This reminds me of the cover of Nic Cage's Left Behind

Now that Disney has the movie market cornered with Marvel and SW they don't give a fuck about POTC any more.

And it shows with the half-assed posters.

It's basically a filler movie.

>>79628310
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

>>79628252
I was thinking the same thing

Especially fucking Barbossa with the skull in the background, looking like they're advertising some community-theatre version of Hamlet

>>79628627
a billion dollar filler movie

reminds me of the shit Days of Future Pass posters

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>>79628612

jesus fccking christ

the guy with the beard

>>79628584
waiting

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>>79628612

yo

Holy shit who's that old hag

>>79628612
his face looks shooped onto his head

>>79628609
He's a stoned mess who lost most of his money to escape "evil" America where the "progressive" French then siezed most of his cash for their high socialist taxes, where he then came crawling back to America where all he does is bitch about republicans and get high all day every day.

And probably not a single day of filming had him clean and sober.

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>>79628584
>I could make something better in mspaint
Well I tried

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I hope the film flops so Kaya Scolderio and her shitty normie boyfriend can go bankrupt.

>>79628777
Kino

>>79628246
multibillion

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>>79628777
I improved it

>>79628777
Holy shit dude thanks for the keks

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>>79628777

>>79628160

Is that the kid from Gods of Egypt? Oh my god why does he still have a career?

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>>79628246
p-piratekino is going to pull through, r-right guys?

>>79628947
PURE KINO

>>79628160
This looks like a porn parody.

>>79628947
thanks snyder

>>79628947
someone add lens flare to this, the J.J. Abrams touch

>>79629030
>"JUST STICK THAT SWORD INTO MY BLOOM, ORLANDO"
Is it just me or are porn parodies getting dumber with their lines?

>>79628160
>>79628246
Straight to VHS.

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milky udders

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>>79628777
>>79628846
>>79628947
/tv/ YES

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>>79629077

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Now we're talkin

>>79629178
Is this movie going to be the GOAT?

>>79629178
add some color correction(more orange/blue contrast) and some chromatic aberration man, what am I paying you for?

>Its a 'the producer lets his 14yr old son do the posters because hes got photoshop and is good with computers' episode

This shits been happening for years. I did work experience at Empire in London, and they said its alarming how many producers just get amateurs to do posters to save money and give little nephew Jimmy his first real job.

>>79628160
>pirate
>wears eyeliner
for what purpose?

>>79628160
>Kaya
Ticket booked

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>>79629203
PURE. FUCKING. KINO

>>79629243
open sea on a boat means you have little cover from the sun

eyeliner helps with the glare

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>>79629154
what sort of mindfuck is going on here?

>>79628160

I honestly thought this was a poster from another Pirates porn parody

Why is Barbossa wearing that stupid shit

>>79629243

Stops the sun reflecting off their cheeks and lower eyelids into their eyes.

See: Cheetahs, special forces, handegg players

>>79629285
are you mental?

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>>79629207

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>this is the last time they spoke as friends

>>79629285
I'm sorry about your condition.

>>79629178
Go to bed Zack Snyder.

>>79629349
I can see the millions pouring in already

>>79628246
>multimillion

Try multibillion mate. Still cautiously optimistic. I adore the first three PotC movies and consider them the closest thing we have to Indiana Jones for our generation.

>>79629285
It's two tables pushed together you fucking mago

>>79629285
mong

>>79629285

That is a butterfly table with a picture frame stand next to it near the right side

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>>79629178
wtf you're missing the most important part

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>>79629207
>>79629178

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>>79629349
Really makes me think

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remember the first movie when it was a popcorn kino blockbuster that also happened to be witty and polished and a product of passion coming from a genuine creative spark

>>79628160
These are made for sale at Walmart faggots

>>79628160
Disney proving once again that they don't even have to try

>>79629349
Here comes the moneeeeeeyyyyyyyyy

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POTC 4 was really bad.

But i love me some kaya

>>79629409
creativity like this is what brings someone up in this business, good job

>>79629285
She's MARRIED? With a CHILD?

To Some COMEDIAN??

ON HIS SECOND WIFE?

>>79628777
So whos gonna add CIA and bane

>>79628160

>for-profit college interns making movie posters

How else is Hollywood gonna save money in these dire times? At least the kid who made that ;poster can add it to his portfolio, then dine out on it for the next decade even though he gets no more work.

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>>79629454
that was before the movie industry became as tainted as it is today

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>>79629349

>>79629487
10 year difference
Some Comedian's first wife was Meryl Streep's daughter

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>>79629477
>>79628310
GOAT and waifu CLAIMED


>>79628185
are you gay ? you fucking pussy ass faggot, THIS BITCH IS HOOOOOOOOOOOT

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I hope they paid the intern who did the CGI on this.

Fuck me.

>>79629154
DEGENERATE

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>"Did I ever tell you about the time I owned a ghost ship and tried to kill Jack Sparrow? He was a good friend."

>>79628160
This makes me want to do something with my life just so I can try and fix Hollywood marketing.

>>79629487
>>79629285


>>79629599
nvm used goods, i take back everything I said, fml im going to kill myself

WTF IS TIME

WTF IS HUMAN INTERACTION

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>>79628612
>>79628694

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>>79629604

>>79628246
>>79628160
They look like pron parody promos.

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>>79629352

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>>79629677

>>79628777
>>79628846
>>79628947
>>79629178
>>79629203
>>79629349
>>79629352
>>79629409
>>79629418
Fucking kek, bravo /tv/, best mememasters on the internet

>>79629765
DEAD INSIDE
MY HEART AND SOUL FLATLINES
PUT YOUR MOUTH OVER MINE
AND BRING ME BACK TO LIFE

DEAD INSIDE
NO OTHER SATISFIES
MY BLOOD RUNS DRY
TAKE MY LIFE
SAVE ME FROM THIS DEATH INSIDE

>>79629285
What is that? a scar

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>>79629876
>these movies
>mfw pirate woman fetish

>>79629876
>digital playground
literally the shittest porn company in existence

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>>79629349
>"I've covered wars you know"

>>79628612

The only thing I remember about this movie is the dwarf.

>>79629352
someone put the wake me up inside skeleton in there somewhere

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>>79628160
By the gods, what do they mean by this?

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>>79629352
>tfw i thought the mountain was a bane mask in the thumbnail

>>79629876
The sequel is honestly kino.
Not even joking.

Looks like something an intern did in a lazy afternoon. Is this shit direct-to-dvd?

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>>79629409
Fixed.

>>79628160
Damn Kaya looks like shit.

>>79629726
Is this the horror version?

>>79629923
lol

They gotta save money somewhere.

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>>79628160
It looks like one of those Asylum rip-off movie covers that they'd make to try and trick people into renting the wrong movie at Blockbuster.

>>79628766
That's what he gets for getting a golddigging thropy wife when he has a perfectly good cunny in his house.

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>>79628160
>>79628246
oh shit I'm dying. It's like they made the new intern spend 30 minutes in Adobe Illustrator.

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I remember one where Patrick Stewart is on a wheelchair and McAvoy's face is just slapped on randomly on the wheelchair too

Can't find it though

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>>79628160
is this official or is it one of those instances where an african theater owner hand paints a poster?

>>79630071
Is Gibbs gonna be in this one?

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>>79630416
ah, here it is

>>79630426
>that fucking infinite car

>>79630094
>Arrr, ye don't get t'bring crew

>>79628160
The scyfy channel presents..

Doesn't this flick have one of the biggest budgets in film history?

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>>79628310
a cute.

>>79630426
Fuck I never noticed the painted over 'YOU'.

>>79630496
Gotta cut corners bruh

>>79628160
but Depp is old and fat now

>>79628560
Sure you could

>>79628160
that looks like absolute shit

did they run out of budget or something?

>>79630537
I went and checked, it would be the second more expensive film of all time with Pirates 3 behind it and Pirates 4 at the top. Disney has some sort of bank leak for this fucking movie series my god

>>79630616
excellent way to launder money

>>79630616
Johnny Depp doesn't come for free after all.

>>79630426
It was made by some company for Walmart

>>79629923
too vintage for the current crowd

>>79628160
hmmm

It's a children's movie you fucking weirdos, get a job

>>79630125
yea quite funny B movie

Evan Stone is the greatest.

>>79628160
Are they trying to cash in on this whole ''le 80s cheesy'' thing?

>>79630826
Johnny plz

>>79628246
>>79628160
>when you lose so much money you have to star in porn parodies of your own movie franchise

>>79628694
DUD IS CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY

Fucking nostalgia with One Tree Hill, shit Chad, why

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>>79628310
I agree

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>>79628160
>replace attractive male lead and attractive female lead with an unattractive male lead and an unattractive female lead

WHY?

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>>79631144
>Kaya
>unattractive

>>79631144
>Unattractive female lead
Fuck outta here

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>no Naomie Harris
not even Zoe Saldana, i thought Pirates was ebony kino?

>>79628160
>this whole thread
I'm laughing my fucking ass off right now.

>>79628160
it's intentional

disney is sabotaging pirates movie after alice sequel flopped and amber "the semen demon" heard drama

depp also knows this and jumped the disney ship by selling to the warner brothers jews to make not-potter films

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>>79630507
>>79631136

What is the pirate tax policy?

>>79628160
>>79628246

oh my god these posters are China bootleg tier

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>>79631488
Chinese bootleg had more effort put into it though.

>>79631481
pirates had strict codes deciding the share of the booty, the captain and high ranks had a greater share but not by much more

it might seem counterintuitive considering your crew are all thieves, but they are also cutthroats, so minimizing arguments is a priority

No way that's real, this flick costed 275 million united state dollars

>>79631623
>275 million united state dollars
320 actually

>>79631656

No way this is not some kind of investors scam

>>79631623
pirates 4 is THE MOST expensive film ever made, 410 million dollars

pirated 5 is only 350 mil but it's still big by film standards, not even star wars is that expensive.

>>79631768
>>79631656
>350 mil
>the porn version looks better
>dead on arrival franchise

We're laughing but with that kind of money they could make a movie with every single one of your top ten directors alive, have a better ROI and probably it'd be less expensive

>>79631768
Somewhere up above I posted that the three most expensive films ever made are in fact Pirates 3, then Pirates 5, and finally at the top Pirates 4. You can argue semantics since Pirates 2 and 3 were filmed back to back but they still had a humongous budget. This franchise is the biggest money hole in film history.

>>79631984
Yeah but didn't 3 and 4 make a billion each?

>>79632253
Yeah, they're very profitable. It actually showed on Pirates 3, visually it was terrific, especially CGI-wise it is still unmatched 8 years after coming out even though plot-wise it's pretty lacking. Pirates 4 looked pretty bad though.

>>79632253
that was made before the fall of depp

this will probably be the last pirates film

disney has too much on their mind to bother with this shit.

>>79632317
>Pirates 4 looked pretty bad though.

I disagree, the movie was shit but they shot on real location, it's why it was so damn expensive.

>>79631984
3 looks way more expensive than 4.
Even 1 looked more expensive than 4.

wtf disney

>>79632253

What happens if you apply that memeaccounting that shills always apply to DC movies?

This shit breaks even at what, 1.2 billions or some shit?

>>79632378
I mean it in the sense of CGI mostly. Pirates 4 had some really shoddy CGI compared to Pirates 3.

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>>79628560
EXACTLY

>>79629876
Mfw this movie was $60 when it came out at the porn store i worked at.

>>79628160
>>79628246

I literally thought you guys made these up. Holy fuck

>>79628160
plz no

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>>79631144
>Mfw murder fetish
>mfw can't find good pron with attractive actors

>>79630094
Or perhaps he's wondering why someone would give Jack Sparrow a gun to shoot a man before throwing him out of a ship.

>>79632692
>If I take out that knife, will you die?

>>79629876
Whats the name of the fabio looking dude who thinks he is a real actor?

>>79629876
I hope there was a fem pirate/lady lesbian scene.

>>79628160
>>79628246
lmao these look right and ready for the $5 bin at Wal-Mart or a gas station.

>>79629958

Go to bed Dan

What the hell? You could get 30 better looking posters if you go to any random 1st grade graphic designer for 10 bucks
Why is this allowed?

>this flick
>Beauty and the Beast starring Emma Watson

Disney would be sooo fucked if they didn't buy Pixar, Marvel and Star Wars

>>79628160
they filmed this when Depp looked his absolute worst..

even in the trailer he looks bloated, barbossa looks cool though.

>>79633059
Soon enough they will be in the $5 bin.

>>79629726
kekk

>>79628246
>>79628160
they really need to stop this "we have to include two love interests"..

even though keira knightley and orlando bloom are annoying as fuck, their characters fit into the universe and worked..

on stranger tides mermaid girl and jesus boy were gay as fuck, and these two are even younger and gayer..

we could have got more barbossa, jack, scrum, gibbs scenes but instead we'll have this love shit.

>>79628555
is that why bloom is a bit Davey Jones' in the trailer?

is that the little sister from Skins?

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>>79629418
>>79629765

i'm fucking dying over here

save me /tv/

>>79633349
>barbossa
Was going to watch for him anyway.

>>79629154
wtf isnt she like 12

even if she isnt who does she think she is kek i bet she thought that shit would go viral

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fake news

>>79629876
i remember seeing this in blockbuster with my dad

really wanted it

>>79628160
They obviously mocking 4chan. They look so bad they can be compared to board's MS Paint-created memes of Pepe and Wojak. On one of them there is Depp solo with a hand-chin gesture similar to smug Pepe's. Probably Hollywood's middle finger directed to you, boyos, for helping electing the new president.

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>>79628160
m
i
s
c
a
s
t

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>these edits

i have never laughed so hard in my fucking life
thank you /tv/ i love you guys

>>79631418
she gave me some a boner

>tfw you will never be an infamous pirate who fucks a witch doctor/god in her swamp house

>>79629285
Well there's the dumbest post I'll see today. Going to be hard to top.

>>79633478
hell yeah

geoffrey rush is great for coming back, he always said he would.

>>79633559
>hownewRu.exe

I mean, this bread had me kekking like a madman, but it doesn't even come close to the good ones

anyone got any caps from that one when star wars was coming out and anons made new versions/edits of Kylo Ren's saber?

>>79628160
So they skip the movie and go straight to tho porn parody?

>>79633635
>People were hauling his saber and the edits as the new baneposting
oh i am laffin

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>>79628246

>>79628535
>>79629685

Came here to post this. Straight to the value bin
PoC is a parody of itself now anyway

>>79633635
i wasn't here back then, you're right about that

but i'm also tired

>>79628777
In your defense, its at least on par

>>79629454
literally one of the signs of the future quipfests

Movies where tension and drama is removed from otherwise violent and possible scary scenes with quips and jokes to pull it down to PG13

>>79632944

I remember a lez scene where one of the girls gets dildoed by a candle thats still burning.

>>79629894

I love that song.

>>79633996
nice

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why did they film this when Depp looked like absolute shit?

i mean look at when he turned up at the D23 Disney Expo in Sparrow get up, it was embarrassing.

>>79633680
>new baneposting

I wouldn't go as far, but it sure was a kekworthy bread. shame I didn't keep the caps

>>79633996
wew

>>79634151

He's getting old man.

>>79634151
>In Disney's™ brand new Pirates of The Caribbean®, Micky Rourke as Johny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow

>>79632877
Evan Stone.

>>79634209
He's slimmed right down since then and looks healthier (ish) look at his Peoples Choice Speech 2017.

>>79634209
nah he just got fat, heard obviously got him like that so no slags would touch him.

>>79631768
>pirates 4 is THE MOST expensive film ever made
What was the money spent on?

>>79628310
Is she a shitty actress or is her agent just a retard? Because she keeps getting roles in shit movies that are not even capeshit tier

>>79628160
>>79628246
>I'll just have my nephew do them. He's real good with computers.

>>79634531
ur mom

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>>79631570

>>79634531
build real sets, shooting on location which is expensive as fuck in united kingdom, depp salary, cgi

>>79628246
Is this some kind of porn parody?

>>79628160
Jesus fucking Christ, it's worse than early Harry Potter posters. It looks like they're promoting a tv movie or something. It's all just lazy cut & paste without any composition.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!

This is what happens when you allow monopolies to exist. They corner the market and churn out shit

>>79630125
this. first time i actually did watch porn for the plot

This looks like a direct to DVD sequel lmao.

>starring Johnny Depp, the 55 year old who still pretends to be a young pirate
>also starring: discount orlando bloom
>and: discount kiera knightly

>>79628246
And that looks like a really bad YA book cover, probably from a vanity press.

>>79631570
>Spirit of dead Driver possesses the dead bad guy from Far Cry 3 and it is all up to elite German Cobra 11 duo of which one half is a Turkish midget to stop him.

Would pay money to see.

>>79628160
>it's not minimalist so it's le shit xp

>>79628821
Elliott Tittensor was bretty good in the original UK Shameless.

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Kaya wasn't even the biggest qt on Skins.

>>79634743
>starring: discount orlando bloom

orlando is in the new movie

but only because his career is on the same level as depp's - non existent.

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>>79635071

>>79629426
Kek

what if moffat stepped down because he wanted to be the new doctor?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wUcC2QhqTg

levels of JUST - 110%

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>>79635146
She still has that qt smile.

Was my waifu back in the day.

>>79635490
not sure if its been mentioned already but Johnny Depp literally threw money away seeing a psychiatrist to separate himself from the alternate personality of jack sparrrow

>>79628612
N I C O L A S C A G E

>>79632395
>Memeaccounting

You mean actually understanding how much money studios make? If it cost 350 to make, it probably has an ad budget of 100, so 900 mil break even.

>>79628246
>>79628160
direct to TV tier

>>79635672
>costs 350 to make
>ad only 100 millions

I am loving every laugh I get from this post

>>79635734
100 is a generally decent estimate for major blockbusters. They never go higher than 150

>>79635734
How much have you even heard of this movie? I'm pretty sure it only ever had one trailer too.

>>79636027
It'll get more as we get closer to summer

>>79635775
>>79636027

Disney has never spent less than 100M on marketing in the 2010s. That's why when they bomb, they bomb hard.

I'm sure there will another Disney movie before this comes out so they wouldn't want to overlap the marketing campaigns, but don't fool yourselves, I will be surprised if they spend less than 150M

>>79636128
Coincidentally, Johnny Depp was also involved in The Lone Ranger, one of Disney's biggest bombs.

...Where did it all go wrong?

Not just this, everything. When did we lose real kino?

>>79636128
Do you have actual sources for this? I've only ever seen rumors regarding ad budgets

>>79636210
When TV became the place you could experiment

>>79628612
...Did they just paste Cage's face onto John Cusack?

>>79636231

I work in marketing, no actual data but companies signing up with Disney are way happier than the ones signing with Universal or some shit

>>79636313
Eh, sure I'll believe it

>>79628246
People aren't hired %100 on skill

>>79628160
>Disney franchise
>make the poster look like a low budget porn director made it with shit tier 90s CGI

JUST fuck my franchise up

>>79628160
More like Pirates of the Dinner Theater: Dead Men Tip No Waiters

>>79628160
man that chick out of skins got old as fuq

also dat kid out of home and away ahhahahaha
>>79628246
oh fuck these are real?

>>79636562
>Tipping at the cinema

>>79634559
This

Shes very pretty

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>>79629487
Some comedian is the 6'3 Chad from Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

>>79636619
>not knowing what dinner theater is

>>79636388
haahahhaah

>>79636638
>tipping at a dinner theater

>>79636628
He has a very familiar face but I can't place it. Maybe a really young Liam Neeson?

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>>79629923
fuck, got me hard

>>79636705
He looks kind of like Colin Firth to me in that picture.

>>79633504
Why does he have "Jake" tattooed on his knuckles?

>>79633996
W-which end?

>>79636705
its actually his son Helum Neeson

>>79636765
Just hit me, but he reminds me of the dude from Castle

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>>79636840
I suppose I can see it.

>>79628609
He's broke and he has a debt with the mouse because Disney protect him from the media after Amber Heard's accusations of domestic abuse. Despite it was an obvious set up, the press would love to tear apart Depp for clickbaits but Disney didn't allow it for PoC. Now Depp's entire career depends on this movie because he already made Disney to lose a fortune with The Lone Ranger and everybody is sick of seeing him playing a weirdo with a hat

>>79636906
Not in that pic, though

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>>79636628
Apparently he played Bateman onstage last year.

>>79628160
>>79628246
I can assur you this is the work of the 19yo daughter of a high ranked dude working at disney and he went "fuck it lets take my daughter to design this shit she needs to learn how to earn her own money"
She did decent desu

>>79637159
2 batemen?
doubles?

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>>79628160
>>79628612

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>>79628246
tfw movie posters are now just made by unpaid interns who have only used Photoshop for a week

>>79637359
>Featuring W inside a W superstar
So they dropped the F/E?

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>>79628947
You can't have a movie poster without some use of the cloud render filter.

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>>79629487
>>79629563
She's ten years younger than me, to the day... and already is married and has a baby.

>>79636780
It says Jakc

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You best start believing in bad movie poster threads.
You're in one.

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It's wonderful when interns cut and paste stock photos into the most generic ensemble ever. The boring yet busy background doesn't help.

>>79637634
Fuck. I really want to buy all these horrible posters to hang in my house.

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Cruise control for generic action movie

>>79628246
MultiBILLION

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This new Chronicle 2 poster is shit too.

>>79628160
>>79628246
not even barbossa is looking good on that. this is really bad

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Old b-grade low budget blackspoitation movies had more money put into their posters than Hollywood movies today.

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>>79637933
I downloaded over a gig of hi-res horror and b-movie posters. Most of them look better than the shit I see at the local cineplex these days.

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>>79637974

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>>79638010
When did we just start using interns to make shitty posters? When did shitty cut and paste jobs start to pass for movie posters? I know it was before even Photoshop it started, but since it's become so easy now all the studios just shoop some shit cheaply.

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>>79638061
Everything is just some slapped together photo collage garbage these days.

>>79637634
At least the movie itself is great.

>>79630507
>>79631136
what a weird nose she has

>>79630466
Legion poster?

This is worst than the original Children of Men poster