CURE FOR WELLNESS REVIEW BY CHRIS STUCKMANN

Didn't watch shit but
>uses his review to criticise the reviews of other critics instead of actually critiquing the movie
Don't care

>>79589867
He does both you ninny.

>>79589838
being an original idea for a movie does not justify it being a piece of shit. Fuck you Cuckmann.

>>79589838
Couldn't he have afforded a Vegeta doll?

>>79589972
>original idea
>spooky asylum where something is going wrong
Yeah, what are Shutter Island and Stonehearst Asylum.

File: 1274905364323.jpg (1MB, 1668x1836px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1668x1836px

Another movie for the list

oh boy, my favourite reviewer, Chris Cuckmann, the arbiter of cinema, said its alright? kino confirmed

>>79590014
By "original ideas" people mean "new IPs", and not "remember this thing from the 90s? It's a movie now."

>>79589838
>this background
>look at me, I'm a neeeerd, Zelda, Mario Superbros and mainstream animu amirite?

>>79590071
>remember this thing from the 90s? It's a movie now
How does it refer to the aforementioned moves?

>>79590145
People want original IPs, and not remakes of films from the 90s. I just worded it weirdly.

>>79590017
imagine being so vapid that you actively dislike movies simply due to redditors sharing interest in them

>>79590257
Imagine being a redditor and actually liking those movies

>>79590257
imagine not understanding whats wrong with having the same interests as reddit

Why is literal youtuber shilling allowed?

>>79590014
What the only thing linking them together is that they occur in an asylum

>>79590257
Hey reddit

>>79590257
I don't normally see the point in images like that. But isn't it just that Reddit has shit taste. I watched a few movies off that list like the blair witch and it was the most boring horror movie I have ever watched. Redditors are just a bunch of pussies who get scared by anything

TELL IT TO ZODDS SNAPPED NECK LOL

>>79589838
Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outift in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up and ran crying from his house, he screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so i told him i thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and said, "But am i a Big Guy for you?", I told him yes, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, continually moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

>>79590969
double kek

>>79590017
as if I needed anymore proof that /tv/ doesn't actually like movies

>>79589838
CHRIST STUCKMANN IS MY FAVORITE INTERNET IDOL

Doesn /tv/ hate him because he is white?

was he always a big fan of the franchise by any chance?

>>79590257
That's what it takes to be a special snowflake. How long until neo-/tv/ starts hating Sopranos?

>>79590014
Sure but do those movies have 300 hundred year old rapist and magic eel juice?