Horcruxes

Why didn't he just make it some random pebble deep in the ocean on some random planet light years away that literally no one would ever find

>>79547355
why didn't he make earth a horcrux?

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Why didn't he just horcuck the watcher of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>79547502
Not funny.

>A nokia phone
>diamond
>Keanu Reevs
>a time capsule
> a building skeleton
>the internet
>a pea can

>>79547795
>nokia phone

LOL!~!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! le 9gag at it again lolololo!!!!111

>>79547915
That's clearly an IMDB post, retard. IMDB KIDS ARE THE WORST

>>79547355
the 7 HP books

>>79547355
Why didn't he turn himself into a Horcrux?

>must be easily identifyable and accessible
literally why thoug

>>79550547
>world is now full of mix race couples and niggers
>cant kill yourself

>>79549574
Because then all they would have to do to destroy the final one would be to kill him.

>>79547502
KEK

>take a boat over the deepest point in the ocean
>drop a horcruxed rock

Why didn't he make horcruxes out of kinetic energy because energy cannot be destroyed and he'd truly be immortal

>>79547355
>>President of the united states
>>Putin
>>Kim Jong Un
>>a Rhino from Kaziranga (if rangers see a fucking human let alone a wizard pointing his wand on a rhino hed be fucking 360 no scoped)
>>a kid with down syndrome
>>John Leguizamo
All these things will be gone in 20 years.

>>79551694
>Kim Jon un
>not immortal
>not scheming with the bogdanoffs

lol

>>79547355
I'd make your dick a horcrux, because nobody would ever find it.

>>79547355
Did Voldemort ever pay the Horcrux tax?

Nearly Headless Nick

>>79547355
Why didnt he make Dumbledores dick a horcrux so he would have to cut it off

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>>79552568

My list:

1: Pioneer 10.

2: Pioneer 11.

3: Voyager 1.

4: Voyager 2.

5: Venera 7.

6: Venera 8.

7: Harry Potter's brain.

Good luck ever reaching the first six and good luck killing the main protagonist who enjoys the protection of plot armour.

>>79547355
Literally only one of the things you listed is easily accessible and John won't be happy about it.

>>79553231
>7: Harry Potter's brain.

He literally did it you retard.

>>79553231
You'd need access to the first six to make them Horcruxes and the entire finale of the series is about how Voldemort actually did #7 and was defeated because in killing Harry he killed himself. (though Harry was actually a secret 8th horcrux)

>>79547795
>>Keanu Reevs
Enjoy getting fed to the astronomicon.

>>79551717
Can you give me a rundown

>can only be destroyed by shit like a sword and poison
His robes would have been a perfect horcrux. Impenetrable armor

>>79553976
>Impenetrable armor
>Can be destroyed with a sword

>>79547795
nokia phone!!! haha xD gilded

>an ice cube
>an extravagant letterbox in a dodgy neighbourhood
>Andrew Boguts knee
>an iPhone screen
>a Jewish promise
>a flimsy chair in rough rural bar
>my virginity

I'm confident my last one will protect me

>>79547795

I almost never say this

BUT this post is so reddit it hurts

Scrap that, even reddit isn't like that, this is low quality 9gag joke

>>79547502
I only open hp threads for this pasta

>>79547355
6 egg mcmuffins and Op's penis.

>>79547434
it has to be an item really important to you

>>79547795
you need to go back

>>79552362
Who nose

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>>79554614

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>>79554614
Deh!

>>79554414
It would be important to him, it'd gonna contain a part of his soul

>>79550547
They feed on their user.
A pebble a galaxy away won't be used.

>>79547355
The Queen of England

>>79547795
This is good bait

>>79554414
dragon dildo and Maisie

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Make literally anything into a whorecux and put it on the Voyager

I dare you faggots to think of something better

>>79547355
>Jerry from Tom & Jerry
>Road Runner
>Droopy
>Popeye
>Scrooges Number One Dime
>OP's faggotness
>Baby being hold by Jackie Chan

>>79554414
Howabout 7 bricks from my childhood home?

Just One Ring to rule them all makes a good horcrux.

7 Phoenix

>>79547795
this is the most "reddit" post ive seen on here and that's saying something considering it's /tv/

A timeturner with a self-activation spell if it's damaged in any way.

>>79556436
>cast Accio
>????
>profit

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Saitama

Can I horcrux my virginity?
I mean. Lol, who would ever take that from me?

why didn't he keep any of them on his person
they'd have to take him on in a battle that way

>>79547355
7 cockroaches

>>79547355
>The absolute retardation that is no one in the Wizarding World knows what a gun is

>>79557701
Where's this guy's upvotes?? xD

>>79558736
Fuck off, bitch.

Jesus Christ I laughed myself into a hernia