Jesus Christ, even Chris Rock has alimony problems.

>>79451113

Because he is a male regardless of race. The Courts will fuck you when it comes to women and kids.

>>79451127
ESPECIALLY IF YOUR BLACK

THATS WHY MY KID AINT GOT NO FATHER

DEY AINT FIND MY BLACK ASS !

JUST

>>79451127
Women are monsters. Good thing I'm a kissless virgin.

HOW MUCH FOR ONE RIB?
I CAN'T AFFORD A FULL SLAB ANYMORE WITH MY ALIMONY PAYMENTS

JUST
FUCK
UP
MY
BLACK
ASS

Maybe Brendan will take some comfort in not being the only one.

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That's why I stick with anime instead.

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>>79451288
I hear ya. GAHAHA

>>79451208
HOW BOUT A SIP OF THAT SODA

>>79451323
FUCK IT JUST POUR IT IN MY HANDS

>>79451113
blame yourself for no prenup chris

>>79451113
Why don't these celebrities just hire assassins to kill their ex-wives? I doubt they cost more than the several millions it'll cost to pay them over the years.

>>79451341
>"everybody needs a prenup" - Chris Rock standup before divorce

Yep

>>79451357
Well they'd be the obvious first suspect and probably go to jail and executed.

>>79451388
what if the glove doesn't fit?

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oh lawdy

when will /our boy/ arsino hall talk about this on his hit new talk show?

>>79451113
>finally, they put a black man on Scooby Doo who's not a damn Globetrotter!

>>79451357
Can't imagine the gratification you'd get from having your ex-wife dead would be worth having the cops up your ass for months while they investigate. And that's if the hitman you're talking to isn't a cop in the first place.

>>79451480

that was funny as fuck

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Why won't these bitches settle for half? The fact that this isn't he arrangement is completely insane.

>men literally wrote laws to cuck themselves
what happened?

>>79451579
Well for one, honestly women have been making lots of inroads in law. You can always get female lawyers and sometimes judges.

2) Women play the sympathy card a lot, through using their kids and the child support ideal they got a lot of laws changed.

>>79451579

Well, get married in a red state. They get half, and that's all they deserve because that's what you agreed to. After that it's done, unless you have kids.

Only thing I had in my prenup is that I get the fucking dog. You don't get the German Shepherd I raised from a puppy. 200 grand fine, but not my dog. Now go away.

>judges can throw out prenups if they're 'unfair'
>even if you don't get married, living with a woman for too long makes you 'common law married' so that bitch can still take all your stuff

Boy, you aint safe.

>>79451113

Seriously, does America have the shittiest divorce laws?

Marriage especially in 2017 America is a scam against men.

>>79451748

It's actually a tax scam and liberal women are all too willing to play into it because they benefit from it.

>>79451731

It immensely favors women in every state. Rather than favoring both people as equals. In the US, the idea of "equality" is women being half retarded and incapable of defending themselves; so the state has to do it for them. Meanwhile liberal women in this country love it because it favors their ambitions and they care nothing for ideals, or reality.

>>79451579

There was a time when you could just be up and left by your partner who could literally just move two states over and never encounter you again.

Also back in the day women literally couldn't provide for themselves in the same capacity as men could. That's definately changed now.

But yeah, Divorce Law (and Family Court in general) is a fraught amalgam of crazy shit from every decade stretching back to 1910, influenced by each of these periods different societal expectations and realities.

Basically we're dealing with divorce like it's the 1950s when society sure as FUCK ain't like no 1950s i ever heard of.

>>79451341
>implying prenups aren't routinely thrown out because a bitch can argue that she signed it under duress

>>79451341
Judges regularly throw prenups into the trash

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>>79451113

JESS

>>79451865

You're shitting in the punch bowl of reason.

God damn Alabama, go to bed.

>>79451113
Good, stand up comedians need to be perpetually bitter and miserable to be funny.

>>79451335
how much for just one rib?

>>79451199
The people who make fun of you are like obese people who make fun of healthy people who watch what they eat

They want to drag you down and make sure you experience the misery of the female

No mans life ever got so much better with a woman. He just says that cause he's a lonely faggot who needs constant validation.

That isn't to say all girls are shit and don't have their moments, they are great sometimes, but never always, and when they're bad they're worse than not having them around at all.

I'm not saying he should kill his ex wife. But I'd understand.

>>79451728
Doesn't that defeat the whole point of having a legal contract, if it can be invalid because a judge thinks it's 'unfair'. As long as it's all legally valid, I don't really see why there's grounds

>>79453131
I've heard this too but now that I'm older and depressed I never say anything funny or make anyone laugh. I used to be hilarious when I was young and happy.

>>79451579
Because men think they're cucking other men

>>79454088
System is biased.

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>tfw my country don't have alimony laws
i'll never get married/have sex but still

>>79451113
HAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S BLACK LOL

>>79451902

Even when you prove this the judge can throw the prenup out of court if he/she feels its "unfair". Literally the only contract in existence where that happens. Pussy pass en masse.

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>it's a /tv/ doesn't understand when a comedian is trying to be funny episode

Reminder that marriage is little more than a contractual arrangement for the division of property in the event of a future separation.

So... He's using Alimony as the reason why he hasn't been working?

Must be fucking nice. I pay more in alimony to my ex than I spend on my rent, and if I decided I was depressed and stopped working I wouldn't be able to pay and I'd go to prison.

OHHH I LURRRVE NIGGERS
BUT I HATE A-LI-MOHHNY
SHE WHITE TOO!

>>79455013
Save up and move overseas

>>79451341
Unless you film her signing it and clearly stating "I am signing this 100% without doubt" bitch can just cry to the judge and have it thrown away

>>79451113
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a8XddPXV5o

Why even bother with women anymore? They're more trouble than they're worth.

>meanwhile niggers take your place and further pollutes the genepool while you're fapping to cuck porn

>>79455237
even if you do that it doesnt mean shit, a person can sign an unfair contract

just marry a religious girl who has no divorces in her family tree you dumb assholes, its not rocket science

>>79451731
No. I was talking to my mum, who has a law degree. In England apparently prenups aren't legally recognised.
On top of that, apparently the courts are much friendlier to the poorer party (woman) and many woman will try and get divorced over here for that reason - all they need to do is own a property in the country or something

>>79454896

>think's alimony tour is a joke

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You don't have to pay alimony to 2D women

>>79455389
Mate in Australia you're defacto married with no objective rule, it's just a 'sense' by the court

So you move in with each other for a few months, you might be defacto married

You date for a few months, you might be defacto married

Defacto marriage entitles the girl to maintenance payments and if she has a kid child support

Blokes get fucked in the ass all the time and keep lining up for the anal fucking cause I think 99% of blokes are fucking losers who don't even want to succeed in life. Life just happens to them, they don't try and control it

Is he at least getting some pussy payments?

I HATE WOMEN REEEEEEEEEEEEE MOMMY WAS LATE WITH MY TENDIEEEESSS REEEEE

>>79455463
4AA De facto relationships
Meaning of de facto relationship
(1) A person is in a de facto relationship with another person if:
(a) the persons are not legally married to each other; and
(b) the persons are not related by family (see subsection (6)); and
(c) having regard to all the circumstances of their relationship, they have a relationship as a couple living together on a genuine domestic basis.
Paragraph (c) has effect subject to subsection (5).
Working out if persons have a relationship as a couple
(2) Those circumstances may include any or all of the following:
(a) the duration of the relationship;
(b) the nature and extent of their common residence;
(c) whether a sexual relationship exists;
(d) the degree of financial dependence or interdependence, and any arrangements for financial support, between them;
(e) the ownership, use and acquisition of their property;
(f) the degree of mutual commitment to a shared life;
(g) whether the relationship is or was registered under a prescribed law of a State or Territory as a prescribed kind of relationship;
(h) the care and support of children;
(i) the reputation and public aspects of the relationship.
(5) For the purposes of this Act:
(b) a de facto relationship can exist even if one of the persons is legally married to someone else or in another de facto relationship.

>JUST

>>79455373
This. Marry a cute and sweet religious girl with good morals and knows how to cook. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a girl who can't cook
>but muh wild kinky sex
Get the fuck over it, it's overrated

>>79455463
Shit, and I thought Canada was bad

>"WAAH why aren't men marrying us anymore?"
>"could it be because of the ridiculous family courts that frequently consistently screw over men? could it be because as they get older they become more desired and start sleeping around like we did when we were younger?"
>"hmm... so what you're saying is that we should petition to change the law such that we can marry men without their consent? Good thinking!"

rrrGGHHHH I FUCKING HATE YOU WOMEN YOU FUCKING SUCK rgghehehe *breathes deeply*I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

>>79455555
Oh sweetie, I don't hate you. I just love my happiness and money more.

>>79455540
>religious
Why don't you just tell us to marry a fucking downy?

>show judge lifestyle of former spouse before getting married
>Show judge her social media profile of her getting wasted, surrounded by men
>Show judge her social media statuses and thoughts
>Bring a forensic psychologist to testify that a person's behavior and actions is pathological
>Prove to the judge the neglect my former wife has over the kids
>Prove to the judge with testimonial witnesses that my estranged spouse would neglect the child and use the child support to fund her frivolous and promiscuous activity
>Set up a CD account that I pay into for the child for the next 18 years instead of giving the mother the child support
>Judge agrees
>Also demand full custody and child support from the mother

Win win

JUST

Fuck marriage. Just knock up and dump

>>79455588
>not wanting to marry a cute downy
What are you? Gay?

>>79455588
>dude i'd rather an amoral girl who will leave me at the drop of a hat
>i can't possibly pretend to be religious for a few years then slowly tell her i'm not going to church but still have a personal relationship with god

lmao @ you

>Promise myself even if I ever find the one I will never marry
>Turns out if you fucking live with them for like 6 months you're treated as marries anyway and they can STILL take your shit

Man, fuck this gay earth.

>>79455616
>Judge realises it's not in the best interests of your children to have a poor mother who can't provide for them when you have the means to do so and it is decided law to do so
>Rules most of your evidence is inadmissible
>You lose and get costs awarded against you for bringing a vexatious claim before the court

you are gonna get raped so hard one day

>>79455550
>such that we can marry men without their consent?
Wait, what?

>>79455667
Common law marriage is 10 years not 6 months you dope

>>79455536
http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4aa.html

COMMONWEALTH LEGISLATION. That's the Australian term for FEDERAL LAW.

Imagine your Federal Government had that rule on the books.

This is what Australia has to deal with when dating, so long as they're aware, which almost all are not. Then they become aware when they get dragged to court and their wallet becomes lighter.

>>79455674
Do you know what jurisdiction anon and his wife live in and/or are married in? That's quite amazing

>>79455674
I've heard that common law here in Canada is 6 months. It's bullshit.

>>79455714
No, but honestly if you don't live in burgerstan just don't even talk to me

Come on guys, just take this point of view.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKzacHbsBJM

name a more self destructive act than a man getting married

>>79455818
Genital mutilation?

>>79451288

Daily reminder Kikuchi Makoto belongs to me.

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>/tv/ - Family Law & Men's Rights

>>79455818
Jumping off of a 60 ft building

>>79455818

Shooting heroin into your eyeballs

>>79455818
a man filing for divorce from his homemaker wife with 3 children

>>79455779
True woke kino

>>79451113
This is exactly why I had my kids out of wedlock, sure child support isn't small but they are my kids and it sure as hell isn't alimony.

>>79453866
that's the most retarded analogy ive ever heard. here's a better one: virgins being smug about not having to deal with relationship problems are like unemplyed people smug about not having to wake up in the moring for work. at the end of the day both are losers.

>>79456327
only virgins know that women can be dumb sluts not worthy of your time

its not like guys ever get divorced

fuck you i hope your womb has cancer

>>79456404
>people who interact the least with women are the ones who know their worth

slit your wrists you pathetic neckfat

>>79455818
Vasectomy

>>79455555
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_vmOvfbg90

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Around females watch yourselves

>>79451113
DON'T. EVER. MARRY.
JUST DON'T.

RUN NIGGA RUN RUN RUNNNNN

>>79458285
You can be forced to pay alimony even if you never got married.

>>79451341
Prenups are worthless in Americuck court. Even Brenden Frasier had one.

>>79451579

>Implying that NEETs didn't write the law this way to get revenge on Chads or for a chance to come off as understanding towards women

>>79455647
I worship God Almighty by emptying my swollen balls directly inside your womb, sweetie. OH GOD OH LORD OOOOHHHH MYYY GODDDD.

PRAISE HIM
PRAISE THE LOOOOOOORD

>>79451579
These laws came in relatively soon after women could vote. They were designed to attract the woman vote. No government will repeal the laws because they will lose the woman vote.

Basically women were a mistake, and ((())) influencing that mistake was a mistake.

But what's the tax policy like for someone with the wealth of Chris Rock?

>>79451503
what is terrible fatal car accident

Maybe if you idiots didn't leave youre wifes this wouldn't be an issue!!!

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BOY THAT'S $2 MILLION WORTH OF CHILD SUPPORT!

Yeah I'm sure Chris Rock was entirely faithful and even though he admits he was at fault in OP's picture, the wife was to blame.

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>>79451577
>Divorce lawyers get 15% of your settlement so it's in their best interests to try to fuck things up between you both, to make their client as hostile as possible.

You both may want a fair 50/50 split, but by the te her lawyer has finished talking shit into her ear she'll be convinced you were always a serial cheater who thought she was wothless.

Bitches LOVE making men suffer, remember. Especially if they're feeling spurned.

>>79451579
blame it on deadbeats of the past who just left with no consequences

>>79451341
Prenups literally are nothing.

>>79451690

if she really wants to twist the knife, you know she is going after that dog
and she is going haaaaaaard

>>79451113
He should have had a better tax plan, to be quite honest.

>>79458788
He hasn't worked for 9mnths so he can get adjusted alimony payments.

Brendan fucked up by being on top during his divorce. Now he has to pay equivalent to his old earnings not on his post-JUST wage.

A lesson to us all there.

jesus christ it feels great not being amrifat

>>79458857
Never get married
Got it

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>>79451341
lmao this guy

>>79458914
If you're on 4chan for more than a year and haven't learnt this lesson, you deserve everything bad that comes from marriage

>>79458914
*rubs hands sneakily*

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Who's next?

>>79458980
DELET

>>79451113
Chris Rock made me chuckle way back when he was getting divorced.
>Comedy is routine.
>Suddenly Chris gets married.
>Wife jokes all the time.
>I love my wife, man I aint eva leavin da bitch.
>Made some movie about how much he loved his wife.
>She divorced him shortly after.
>Make a movie about how much he hates his wife.
>Suddenly nothing.

>>79451113
This is the same guy who told you that even if you pay your rent you still have to 'earn' your woman every day.

I guess he forgot.

>>79459068
Chris Rock is the Urkel of black people.

Therapy would have been easier for him

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>>79458980
No, THIS GUY is next.

Bill "Skeletor" Clinton.

>>79459130
>I guess he forgot.
It's even worse in Eddie Murphy's case. He's the one that kept saying "NO BITCH IS WORTH HALF YO SHIT".

If this chode >>79458980 gets divorced as well it'll be even more hilarious.

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>>79456404
>only virgins know that women can be dumb sluts not worthy of your time
That and people who got JUSTed.

>>79455389
A *lot* of married European women get their marriage registered in the UK as it means if they get divorced they can get it processed through the Brit courts which do not recognise pre-nups (which might have been completely legal in the original country). It's fucking bullshit. If you're married in this country with kids and get divorced, you're going to get fucked. The *starting* line of the split is the woman will get custody of the kids and therefore the house & car. And while you end up living in a flatshare with hippy students, 2/3 of your income is going straight to her.

If you're going to get married, marry someone who earns more than you.

>>79455550
>"hmm... so what you're saying is that we should petition to change the law such that we can marry men without their consent? Good thinking!"
What?

>>79455511
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/06/court-orders-man-increase-payments-wife-lost-bulk-divorce-settlement/

>>79459338
>woman will get custody of the kids and therefore the house & car. And while you end up living in a flatshare with hippy students, 2/3 of your income is going straight to her
This is maximum cuckage.

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>>79455672
>>79459357
Not that Leaf but in Canada if you live with a girl for 6 months you get registered as married/partners. And she gets half yo shit if you break up.

>>79451113
He has said enough stupid shit that I don't feel any pity for him.

The thing is these marriage laws are so antiquated. A lot of them are completely valid if this was the early-mid 1900s. If a woman left her husband back then, she was completely fucked because she couldn't really get a job that would pay anything close to what a man would get. In that case, it makes sense for a man to financially support her. But in today's world, these marriage laws are just absolutely fucked up.

>>79459460
Fucks sake Canada.

>>79455888
Lmao

>>79456404
>implying you don't have depression/anxiety and recurrent suicidal ideation
yeah i'm sure you're happy as a clam

>>79459374
This has caused a massive stink here in the UK. Basically man and woman married for 13 years, have a kid. Get divorced (no wrong-doing on the part of the bloke). Woman gets custody of the kid, nearly ALL of the liquid assets plus monthly payment of £1,100 per month (which was substantial back in '02). Fast forward to now. Bloke has moved on with his life, continued building his business and re-married (lesson not learned, son?). Wife meanwhile has blown all her money on coke (probably) and poor business decisions. Complains to courts. Courts up her monthly payment. WTF. The Courts should have turned around and told her to fuck off. She's the one with poor decisions. She's the one who only works 2 days a week as a fucking beauty therapist. She's the one who's complaining that the homes she can afford aren't good enough for her. They've now been divorced longer than they were married, why the fuck is she still getting ANY payments, let alone more. GET FUCKED.

>>79459647
JJJUSTTT

>>79458664
kek

>>79459460
I lived with my ex for a year and had no such problem.

It depends of the amount of cuntness I suppose.

>>79459848
Maybe she wasn't aware of the law. Though I guess extra cuntness would lead to going to further lengths to learn that kind of shit.

>>79459338
>The *starting* line of the split is the woman will get custody of the kids and therefore the house & car. And while you end up living in a flatshare with hippy students, 2/3 of your income is going straight to her.

Holy shit... This is absurd. I'd just quickly sell everything i owned for cheap and fuck off from the country forever.

>>79459848
Mate my bad, it's not 6 months it's a year. http://www.nsfamilylaw.ca/separation-divorce/common-law/relationships-registered-domestic-partnerships#24358

You dodged a fucking bullet.

>>79455778
That's funny because it's only one year in Texas.

>>>>79459338
>be basketball american
>have dozens of illegitimate children
>pay exactly $0 in child support. Ever.
>working whites pay for nigglet kids via taxes.

The system works!

Feminism was a mistake and needs to die.
Female slavery needs to come back.

>>79458980
OH IT'S BRUTAL

>>79455888
>Men's Rights
No such thing.

>>79458857
well it's not like he initiated the divorce.

>>79451113
He's a nigger, what do you expect? He probably spends all his money as soon as it hits his bank account. Blacks are high time preference, meaning they will buy something immediately if they have the means.

>>79459207
Hillary is a cuck who lets Bill do whatever the fuck he wants. He'll be fine.

>>79458664
ha, good one

>>79460021
How do blacks get away with it? Besides having no job or income in the first place

>>79458754
Left who? Their adult wives? Or their kids?

I'm ok with child support because if you have a kid, YOU should be the one to pay for it, but alimony is absolute garbage.

Why should there be consequences for leaving your wife? She's an adult. She can live her own life. And if she gets herself in a point to which she MUST rely on someone else to survive, it's her fault.

>>79460462
The logic is something along the lines of: she left her job to be a full-time mother so she's fucked if you leave her.

>>79460256
It's racist to hold black people accountable for their life choices. Didn't you know?

Something something slavery something.

>>79460462
Back in the day the wife would be a homemaker fulltime, so had literally zero employable skills.

A divorced man still had his career. The woman? A stretched out pussy and several screaming kids.

Alimony was a way to provide for her until another "owner" took her in and married her.

Shit's different now though. A househusband can get full alimony if he leaves his working wife. Even if she gets custody of the kids.

Feminists wanted equality. So now in divorce court that's exactly what they're getting.

>>79451113
and yet he's still blue pilled