Dumb shit you thought when you were a kid

>>79431910

I thought movies were real. When someone died in Gladiator, then I saw them talking about the movie on Access Hollywood or something and thought, "What? I thought he was dead?"

>>79431952
That's completely autistic, how old were you?

>>79432441
26

>>79432441

6 or 7. Yeah I was kinda retarded

>>79431952
I thought the same thing. I saw Bruce Willis get shot in something when I was young and thought "How do they do this and not kill them?" and I thought actors deserved the pay because being shot often was tough.

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>>79432522
>and I thought actors deserved the pay because being shot often was tough.

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>>79432522

> and I thought actors deserved the pay because being shot often was tough.

If you kiss in a movie you gotta' date in real life.

>>79433301
how could you think something like that?

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There was a great fat man in the back of every restaurant. He ate whatever was left on your plate and table when you were done. At a table by himself, very Orson Wells-esque, white tablecloth, napkin, shoveling down all the leftovers. This was his vocation.
No one every told me this. I assumed it and never told anyone. When I finally told someone they thought I was retarded.

>>79433846
mwaaaHAHAAAAA the french

>>79431910
man, you are fucking stupid op. i dont even care about the rest of the thread, you're fucking stupid.

When I was a kid I thought Trump was going to make America great again

>>79434010
u r nostradamus

I thought people on TV were just really small and lived inside the TV.
I was around five years old at the time though.
I also thought that native Americans were actually invaders from India who arrived during cowboy times and that black people originated in America.

>>79433846
>When I finally told someone they thought I was retarded.
How old were you and who did you tell?

>>79433947
Do you hate Indians?

i thoughts cats and dogs were the same species, that dogs were boys and cats were girls

>>79434081
Reddit Gold right here.

>>79434145
around 22, told my mom. by then I knew i was mistaken but she thought it was hilarious that i ever thought it to begin with. she told everyone else and everyone had a laugh.

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>>79434242
>i thoughts cats and dogs were the same species, that dogs were boys and cats were girls

>>79434365
How'd you figure out you were wrong then?

And that reminds me, my sisters used to watch Matilda on VHS and the younger sister hated it. You know the scene where Ms. Trunchbull makes the fat boy eat the cake? My sister thought then when Ms. Trunchbull said "they put their blood, sweat, and tears" into the cake they had actually put their blood, sweat, and tears and it grossed her out so much she broke the tape.

>>79431910
I thought gum clogs into a knot in your stomach if you swallow it

I also thought holding in farts would give me stomach aches (this is true for me actually) so I never held my farts in during elementary school. One time in like 3rd grade I farted while we were quietly reading and yelled out really loud blaming the fat girls across from my isle.

>>79434529
We went out to eat fairly often and I would poke around the restaurants trying to find the Orson Wells-type glutton somewhere in the back.
Later on, my cousin was touring culinary schools and I would poke around there, too. Process of deduction, I guess.
I was a sheltered and naive child. I wish I was kidding.

I thought back in the "old days" the world was actually in black and white like you see in movies and that that's why people were racist back then.

I asked my mom when the world turned to color.

>>79431910
>I thought Nightcrawler from X2 was Indian too.
"kurt wagner" is a very common name among sioux warriors.

I thought Boba Fett was a girl.

I thought Knuckles was a girl.

>>79431910
i thought black people were black because they didnt take showers and i remembered telling black kids at my school to go home and wash up

>>79434675
As a kid I always had a tough time imagining the world in anything but black and white in precolorized times. Like every time I thought about WWII or some other event I imagined every day was drab and it was never sunny.

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>>79434713
They could be if you really want them to be.

No joke i thought benicio and guillermo del toro were the same person, i just thought that everytime he acts he just goes on a diet and when he isn't he grows a beard and wear glasses

>>79434644
At least you found out on your own.

>>79434758
Thanks anon. Tomorrow is a brighter day.

>>79433301
You don't? Fuck me then.

>>79434694
I said Indian, not Native American.
And I didn't know or think about his last name.

I used to live abroad before I moved into the US.
I thought the US was in the sky floating like some final fantasy shit because why else would you need a plane to get there.

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>>79434715
>i thought black people were black because they didnt take showers and i remembered telling black kids at my school to go home and wash up

>>79434675
>I thought back in the "old days" the world was actually in black and white like you see in movies and that that's why people were racist back then.

>>79434848
I wish, that would be pretty awesome desu

>>79434785
I didn't know Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz were supposed to be white until like a week ago.

>>79434795
yeah i have literally no common sense. raised an only child with few friends in the safest place on the planet (except for a few years when i lived in the most dangerous place on the planet but i was young and kept indoors).
college friends thought it was hilarious how naive i was.

I can't remember anything particularly stupid

I do remember thinking Batman 1989 was an R-rated terror movie

>>79435077
>except for a few years when i lived in the most dangerous place on the planet
where?

I thought water made you cramp up after you ate so I didnt shower directly after eating until i was 22 and realized you just shouldnt swim/excercise

My parents would tell me that blood in movies was just ketchup so I thought the actors would lick that shit in between takes

I loved ketchup as a kid

>>79435170
downtown dc during the 80s-90s crack wars. we lived a couple blocks from ground zero.

I thought my dad would come back from the grocery store. I'm still waiting...

>>79435275
I used to drink it out of the bottle

>>79431910
>X2
>as a kid
underageb&

I thought the parent trap remake was two separate actors and I wondered what happened to the British twin's career

I thought if you were nice to girls they would like you back romantically. ;_;

>>79435308
I thought my dad would live to see me graduate

>>79435403
I thought that nice lady i saw my dad with was my aunt. It was a stripper.

>>79435275
>>79435313
ketchup is disgusting you ugly pieces of shit.

>>79432634
>>79433225
>>79434438
>>79434865
>quote
fucking stop that

>>79435336
Turned 18 last month.

>>79435350
It's too bad we could've double the titties and a Lindsay Lohan that didn't become a crackwhore.

>>79434529
>My sister thought then when Ms. Trunchbull said "they put their blood, sweat, and tears" into the cake they had actually put their blood, sweat, and tears and it grossed her out so much she broke the tape.

Wait, thats not what she meant?

>>79431910
moderately amusing
but still not
>/tv/ - Television & Film

>>79435623
Marion Rosewood and Nightcrawler are movie characters. I intended this thread to be about movies, but I obviously wasn't clear enough.

>>79435605
You're 18+ years old and you never heard the expression "blood, sweat, and tears"?

I used to think the umbilical cord was your dick, and if you cut all of it off you get a girl, but if you left some of it on, you get a boy and parents can choose the gender that way.

>>79435452
It was my aunt

>>79435623
you're that guy who has to go to the ER to get foreign objects removed from his anus. the nurses laugh about you at parties.

>>79435732
not too farfetched though. i like it.

Not really a misconception, but the E.R. theme-song fucking terrified me as a kid.

>>79435685
>rosewood

>>79435926
You know what the fuck I meant autist

>>79435960
>Marion Autist

Still doesn't sound right.

>>79436046

Actually it would explain a lot.

I used to think that movies were recorded in chronological order and the director just had one camera with the VHS tape in it and on the last day of shooting a film, the tape would be a 1:1 copy of what you watched at home when you rented a film.

>>79431910
She was so perfect. :3

>>79436223
>I used to think that movies were recorded in chronological order
I still understand why they're not. I want to be a director and I feel like I'm gonna be super autistic about it because filming out of order would fuck me up.

>>79432522
>I thought actors deserved the pay because being shot often was tough.
Hopefully true in Trump's America.

>>79434529
>Ms. Trunchbull makes the fat boy eat the cake? My sister thought then when Ms. Trunchbull said "they put their blood, sweat, and tears" into the cake they had actually put their blood, sweat, and tears
My cousin thought the same thing. Maybe we're related.

>>79436749
Are you black or Native?

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>be 5 when batman forever came out and "kissed by a rose"
>used to think that batman sang the song everytime it came on the radio

I basically had the same thing with Spacejam

>bald black dude is playing basketball with bugs bunny
>bald black dude is singing "I believe I can fly"
>must be the same person

>>79435852
Yeah, me too. But why exactly?

>>79436798
Not the guy you're replying to, but no I'm not.

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>>79436528

maybe because its much easier to just shoot all the scenes that take place at the same set right after eachother instead of going back and forth a thousand times between locations?!!

Wasn't this also one of the reasons why The Room was such a fuckup because tommy wiseau wanted to shoot in chronological order?

>>79436991
>>79436528
The Revenant was shot mostly in chronological order

>>79436991
>maybe because its much easier to just shoot all the scenes that take place at the same set right after eachother instead of going back and forth a thousand times between locations?!!
Yeah, I mean I do understand why (weather, costuming, location, etc), but I don't know
It feels wrong

>>79437112
Yeah, I feel like it would be hard for an actor to play a scene emotionally talking about a character that died, without having acted out the death scene yet, for example. Maybe it's my autism, but I couldn't do it out of order.

>>79437160
I guess you get used to it.

Even porn isn't shot in chronological order, the cumshot comes first.

>>79437237
I feel like that's bull shit, how's the guy hard after he cums though?

>>79437160
You'd generally shoot all the svenes with big expensive actors first, otherwise you would end up having to pay loads just to have them standing around doing nothing.

Movies take about 6 weeks to shoot, and a further 6-18mnths to edit. Having Sammy L Jackson standing around for days on end while you get the scenes all ready would cost an arm and a leg.

Better to get all his scenes filmed in 2 days and he can go on to another movie instead.

Source: a hollywood jew.

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>>79431952
Same here, I would take it even further and also think that all movies by a popular actor were same universe, like I thought Eddie Murphy in real life was a comedian/police officer/con man/old timey gangster/african prince.

>>79437343
Almost all porn is shot with the actors hopped up on copious amounts of viagra.

They shoot the cumshot first because otherwise if they waited for the viagra and desensitising sprays to work they'd never get a money shot.

Silly anon, did you REALLY think they could fuck and remain solid for hours naturally?

Aww, that's so funny.

>>79437478
I don't know, I only watch Lesbian porn

>>79437343
>how's the guy hard after he cums though?
Did you forget that porn usually has the woman just crawling around or shaking their ass for 30 minutes? There's enough time between filming that to get hard again.

And part of the reason the cumshot is filmed first is because you last longer the second time around.

>>79437354
>Source: a hollywood jew.
Can you get me work? I want to remake West Side Story.

>>79437586
Not sure if it was ever shown in your region but Adam (Seymour Butts) had a reality tv show about his porn career job.

It turns out it's nowhere near as glamorous as you'd think. In fact it's pretty bleak and soul destroying to watch.

Females are pretty much treated like slabs of fuckable meat while the guys aren't even treated like humans. More like cheap disposable dicks with legs.

FYI: Women get paid $400-$600 per scene. Men are lucky to get $150.

That's feminism for you.

>>79437792
Really, it's the fault of us men for letting pussy be so valuable. People will inflate a woman's ego and be desperate to fuck because she has tits, like all women don't have tits.

It's why you see desperate men, but there's no desperate women.

>>79438096
Adam explained it as there are a wealth of men who'd love to fuck women for money, but it's a lot rarer to get women to. At least initially. Hence the higher price tag.

Also, most porn actresses don't make that much via scenes. They're mostly doing it to get better rates for prostitution. Where the real money is.

Porn stars can charge a lot more than regular website hookers.

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>>79431910
I thought reruns were acted out every single time. I tried to find differences every rerun, like an actor flubbing a line. Never really found anything

>>79435852
NYPD's opening used to freak me out

>Dumb shit you thought when you were a kid
god is real

>>79431910
I used to think some Mexicans and Indians were just white people with tans.

>>79435852
>>79436869
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjCnHJ8wIuM

To me it kind of sounds like the last thing I would imagine hearing right before slipping out of consciousness and dying in a hospital.
It's both haunting and kind of comforting.

>>79438681
desu I'd hate to hear that shit before dying.

Holy shit I just realized that Michael Crichton created ER, what a fucking legend.

>>79438227
>Porn stars can charge a lot more than regular website hookers.
That's a great point. I follow a lot of hoes on Instagram, and only one of them has ever become a pornstar.

> but it's a lot rarer to get women to.
Unless you're like Bill Cosby (a rapist) or Henry Cavill (super attractive), women are the ones that decide if sex is or isn't going to happen. In addition to having that power women are always going to be hyped up by some man no matter what they look like. Daisey Ridley looks like a straight up alien and men want to fuck her. Taylor Swift looks like she fucks horses and is stick then, a bunch of men on here still want to fuck her. If she has a nice body men will call a woman "gorgeous" despite her face and if a woman has a nice face men will call her "gorgeous" despite her body, that's especially true nowadays with beta orbiters.

Women can have sex with anybody they want, unless you look like Henry Cavill they're not going to be desperate to have sex with you.

>>79438546
>I used to think some Mexicans and Indians were just white people with tans.
They were back in the 50's.

>>79436674
reddit

>>79436825
Mother fucker you made me listen to it, and it's the 14.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGL-d6kDWgw

Suffer the results of your own idiocy.

>>79435403
I thought I would graduate

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>>79431952
I distinctly recall seeing one of those World's Worst Disaster kind of shows where some guy in a big oil tanker went flying off a cliff and died, but then there was a talking head interview of him explaining the crash. It confused and scared the hell out of me because I figured he had to have recorded the interview first then went and killed himself for the show.

Looking back I'm not sure if I misunderstood and he survived the crash, or if it was some stupid performative interview with someone playing the guy who died. Either way it fucked me up.

>>79438887
I know I had to check that again to make sure

>>79431910
I remembered thinking she made me feel tired and weird and not understanding that I just thought she was hot.

>>79436914
What the fuck then why would you reply?

>>79439211
>she will never be your waifu

Why even live?

>>79431952
They just prerecord those Access Hollywoods before the guy dies in the movie. Why is this hard to understand?