Why didn't they just pay the eagle tax?

>>79431364

its 1000 miles to Mordor from the Shire, have you got any idea how much that costs in Eagle Taxi fare?

>>79431364
flying ain't free, you have to pay toll

>>79431364
Why didn't frodo just wear the ring and become the main pimp of the shire?

Why can't OP just shut his whore mouth?

>>79431622
come to think of it it's hard to believe bilbo didn't fuck with the ring all the time he had it. If it were me I'd fucking live with that thing on and do all sorts of shit

>implying Frodo would blow his entire fortune on paying the Eagles because Gandalf was a faggot who wouldnt do it himself.

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Tell the eagles I need one right over. I'll pay them eagle fare tax plus interest on all expenses.

fly you fools
use my airline miles

>>79431649
What makes you think he didn't use it?

>>79431728
Half the kids in the Shire are probably his

why didn't they just bribe the eagles with crab legs

Why didn't Gollum ever put it on?
He could have lived in the invisible world his whole life

>>79431564
You gotta pay the troll toll to get into that hobbit-hole

>>79431364
>yfw Frodo and Gandalf bailed with the elves because they wanted to dodge the eagle tax

>>79431705

>people will never understand how kino this scene was and it's inspiration

>>79431788
because it was hurting him. so he found it best to live in a cave eating orks that fell down or sightless fish.

>>79431364
NO TAXATION WITHOUT AVIATION

why didn't they just all wear blackface. that's what white people do right?

>>79431788
Being close to it all the time was mentally tormenting him, so he ended up just keeping it on his little island and sort of worshipping it.

DEAD
BABY
ORCS

Did Aragorn institute a campaign to mass genocide baby orcs?

Did Tolkien ever ask "How much does Aragorn tax the eagles? Do eagles use currency? Do they ever shit brown water?"
All good questions deserving an answer imo

>>79431728
I guess I don't know but I feel like it was stated/hinted at or something

>>79431861

Frodo and Sam did for a bit.

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Did he pay his taxes /tv/?

>>79431918
>>79431953
Also: what does a baby orc's vagina feel like?

>>79431882
Why didn't it torment Bilbo in the same way?

He had it for years and it barely had any effect on him.

Nobody is asking the sort of questions that truly make a literary work come to life. Did Sam or Frodo at any point on their journey contract a stomach virus which caused them to shat the more they drank?

>>79432019
He owned his own region so no

>>79432024
It's an important question for a properly fleshed out world, we need to know these things for immersion etc

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Why didn't Gandalf just make a flying spell?

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>>79431364
Could Sam and Frodo write off all the condoms they used as business expenses?

>>79432192
They didn't use condoms

>>79432094
Bilbo had a head cold in The Hobbit

>>79432035
It did, Bilbo became greedy and secretive about it, it started right from the start with lying to Gandalf. It had a stronger effect on Smeagol because it started off with a conflict between him and his brother, which the ring escalated into murder, and caused Smeagol to be ostacised from his community. After which he isolated himself with the ring for hundreds of years, there was literally nothing wholesome to slow his corruption. So Smeagol had a much steeper fall, losing everything, and a much longer period of corruption, compared to Bilbo who kept his good intentions and went back to his nice home in the countryside, and had less time than Smeagol to obsess over it.

>>79431808
Boys SOUL i said boys SOUL

why didnt sauron sent the kings to kill gollum and take the ring?

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>show me your tax return horse fucker and i'll show you mine

>>79432585
He was off the grid

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>>79431808

>>79432635
no but if he put the ring on his fingers sauron would know wherehe was wouldn't he?

>>79432721
He didn't wear it bitch, lrn2lotr

>>79432509
Why didn't Sauron know the location of the ring as soon as Bilbo put it on after his birthday party?

>>79432831
so he was obesesed with the ring for hundreds of years but he never put it once
sure thing

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>>79432192
yes. shared expenses are deductable

>>79432189
i think he was low on magic points

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>Good luck. Filling in these tax returns will not be in vain. Look at my coming, at first light, on taxation day

>the tax man approaches my lord
>he comes to steal your wealth
>'the wealth of your hall has been domiciled in the cayman isles of late theoden king'
>'and why should i give my hard earned money to the kikes in washington'
>'gandalf von shekelstein'

>>79431718
KEK

>>79431705
This is a beautiful shot