>dad, how did you know that mom was the one?

Well son, no woman had ever managed to take me balls deep down her throat, so that's when I knew.

>>79300989
>he thought this was funny

>>79301022
>he didn't think it was funny

>>79301037
>he thinks other people would find it funny

>>79300948
When I saw her penis

>>79301055
>he thinks other people wouldn't find it funny

>>79301075
>he thought this was funny

>>79301087
>he's a goober

>>79300948
She understood that my 3" penis could never satisfy her and I understood she needed BBC

>>79300948
the only reason we're together is because she got pregnant

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>>79301109
>he isn't a goober

>>79300948
>>79300989
>>79301022
>>79301037
>>79301055
>>79301075
>>79301076
>>79301087
>>79301109
>>79301112
>>79301120
>>79301135
>they thought this was funny

>>79301135
>taking pride in being a literal peanut

>>79301139
>he feels the need to link every post

>50 years ago people would have sweet in person stories

>50 years from everyone met stalking each other on facebook/Instagram

>>79300948
When is Hollywood gonna drop the "love" meme

>you read this post

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>>79301236

>>79301180
>t. virgin neckbeard

>>79301273
Why is pepe so cute?

>>79301180
implying they didn't do that like 9 years ago

>>79301176
I met my girlfriend on omegle and no one can ever know the truth

>>79301385
What do you tell people?
Do you actually meet up or is it just online?

I met my gf on Facebook and it always seems weird to say that

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>hook up with random Tinder grill
>for some reason keeps wanting to hang out despite being miles out of my league
>ask her a year later to marry me
>says yes

i guess i just lucked out son

>>79301504
WHAT

how good looking are you

>>79301504
>>79301592
>believing this

Well son when I turnt up to the club in my timbs and she started grinding on me I knew she was lit af so we went out to the alleyway outside the club and I pounded her tight little snatch and that's how we made your sister

>>79301504
She probably has a fetish for fat stupid nerds

I met my girlfriend at a record store. We lived together for 10 years before we got married.

>>79301728
This is the future

A lot of Reddit in this thread

>>79301592
I'm slightly above average I guess but from what my fiancee has told me she liked that I made her laugh every time we hung out, and that I was nice without being super pushy about sex or hanging out. Idk if that helps but like I said I kinda lucked out with her

I met my girlfriend at a Christmas party. We're cousins. Still waiting for the Terrible moment when my family finds out. She's way younger and hotter than me though so it's worth it at the moment.

>>79301743
i mean ive pretty much always been skellymode but am very much a stupid nerd so you could be onto something

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>just five more minutes
>that's what you said 5 minutes ago!

i still get wet dreams about my mum sometimes

>>79302099
>tfw had my first wet dream in bed next to my mom

She was all weird around me for like a year after and my dad yelled at me like I could control it and purposely jizzed on his wife.

>>79302099
beautiful

i once had a sex dream where i was fucking my mom and she had massive tits, she squirted my dick out and i came all over her stomach

>>79301385
Same

Only she's in Australia and I'm American and she's 15 and I'm 21

>>79302327
bit of a big age gap there lad

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>>79302099
So do I senpai

>>79302382
its because we love her and are jealous of our dads

t. freud

>>79301155

Your a literal peanut

>>79302327
>he thinks she's a real 15 year old girl

post the boardwalk empire mom son kiss fuck

>>79302351
True, I haven't said or done anything sexual because that would be fucked.

She is more mature than most girls I know though, has actual interests in things, and isn't a vapid bimbo like you would expect. She's also a qt virgin.

>>79302491
>She is more mature than most girls I know
The ultimate pedo excuse

>>79302491
man youre in for a surprise

>>79302491
LOL at many parts of this post.

>>79302505
I'm not a pedo m8, I explicitly said that

>>79302491
>haven't said or done anything sexual because that would be fucked.

girls do anal at 15

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>>79302510
>>79302491
lol had the same experience

don't know if she was a lad, but she had a very firm grasp of japanese emoticons

I fell in love with him btw

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>Dad, who's that black gentleman you bring round on fridays?

>>79302510
What surprise? We've been talking every day for 4 months, and no I'm not being catfishes

>>79302568
This, you have to be retarded not to realize inhibitions barely exist anymore

>>79302587
>imagine telling you have this cuck fetish to any future girlfriends or wives you may have
>most of them will laugh at you

>the ones that won't laugh and go through the process of being fucked by another man will most likely be turned off by your submissiveness and will end the relantionship with you
>your life is suffering

>>79302721
I feel like you understand this feel a little too well, anon.

>>79302721
>>79302760
>cuckchan

>>79302760
I do because I have a feet/femdom fetish.
Fuck this gay earth.

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>>79302721

anyone else have chad dads?
my mom told me I have seven step siblings

>>79303028
I am a Chad dad. Five kids by four mom's in this country. Don't even get me started on how many little bastards I have running around Canada.

>>79303189
Have you ever heard of condoms?

>>79303227
I have. They suck. The best feeling in the world is Nutting in a pussy.

>>79303271
Sex is overrated though. Fapping is better

t. not a virgin

>>79303189
Do you have to pay child support?

>>79301459
We meet up she doesn't live that far. I tel people she was visiting friends at the college near by.

>>79303550
I can't argue with that in most cases.

>>79303852
I got that trust fund money so I pay a monthly payment for one of them, and the rest I just buy all their shit they need with no court order because their mom's are chill. The Canadian ones can die for all I care, day of the rake not soon enough.

>>79304286
You wouldn't happen to be black would you

>>79300948
When I saw her take in that BBC son

>>79304303
Nope. Lol black people don't have trust funds.