Esquire TV writers confirmed for not actually watching TV shows.

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>>79291850
Link for the net.disabled:
http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a52904/santa-clarita-diet-drew-barrymore/

>>79291850
Toplel

>>79291850
who wants Drew barrimore in anything?what is this,the year 2005 or something?
also keked.

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>>79292750
She makes a pretty comfy murderfu

>>79292809
Is the show any good?

>>79291850
Drew Barrymore is still alive?

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>>79291850
they know

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>>79292838
It's... weird. It's got this jarring tone where it's like any cheerful brightly lit suburban sitcom and then all of a sudden she's very bloodily gutting somebody or her eyeball pops out of its socket and her cringing husband has to wind up the optic nerve and shove it back in

Also Olyphant makes the show. After Deadwood and Justified, I forgot how neurotic he can be.

>>79292919
>>79292838
Actually just go ahead and watch the trailer because it summarizes the whole show and the first 30 seconds feature probably the best scene of the show too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjRnbOgoAUQ

>>79291850
kek, nobody watches your faggy show for fags, faggot

>>79293013
>Cake's cover of "I Will Survive"
I hate being old enough to be pandered to

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>>79291850
This is borderline disrespectful.

>>79293101
damn son
shame about her face tho

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>>79293186
>shame about her face

have you come out to your parents yet? you fucking faggot

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>>79293243
iZombie >>>>> SCD in terms of cuties.

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>>79293101
I'd actually imagine Rob Thomas, the other showrunners and CW's marketing people are downright pissed at this actually. They are ripping iZombie off to a certain degree.

>>79293438
man that's fucking great

>>79293438
Other than having a female zombie they aren't really ripping off Izombie.

>>79291850
Whatever gets iqt more viewers

>>79293573
For instance Sheila commits murders instead of solving them

DC BTFO again

>>79293551
Sound version:
http://desuarchive.org/wsg/thread/1421376/#q1421481

>>79293573
SCD zombie has to eat to stay normal?

>>79293599
Are you trying to say that they are the same because one solves murders and the other murders people?

>>79293186
>unironically being this gay in 2017

>>79293622
kek love it when people genuinely love their jobs. reminds me of jared & jensen on set.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTsxF47wx5M

>>79291850
rose's character isn't strong though. she's weak and stupid.

>>79293186
you're gay

have you told your parents yet fagboy?

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>>79293766

>>79291850

What makes Drew's character "strong"?

>>79293766
is not in the end of season 2 when she goes in assault uniform to raid the bad guy's headquarters and she kills a ton of zombies?
looks pretty "strong" to me.

>>79293924
her wimpy husband

I watched 20 minutes of the first episode and realized that Barrymore is a fucking terrible actress. I honestly hadn't watched anything with her since the wedding singer

>>79293953

Even before that Liv has not only used her zombie strength/abilities to defend herself but also fought against those same personality quirks when they began to negatively affect her, she also pretty much fucked up her relationship with her mother and brother when she had to refuse giving her brother a blood transfusion.

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>>79294044

Her relationship with New Hope was fine though.

I kept having mixed feelings with izombie,it was abit too comical for my taste.

Though i only watched season 1

>>79293782
That's pretty cool. Might start watching this show.

>>79294113

S1 had one of the most pleasantly surprising and cathartic finales, after all the suffering Major had he finally got to dish out some payback in a grand fashion.

And yeah there's comedy but I thought it was pretty balanced, S2 actually cuts back a bit on the case of the week or rather blends it into the overarching story.

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Why does no one have a work ethic in this day and age?

post her sexy ass and legs

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>>79292899
She's actually jumped in on that tweet thread.

>>79294772
fucking WHORE

>>79291850
iWaifu is finishe

>>79292838
we have thread here on /tv/ and even /co/ almost every episode.

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>>79294844
Hey. Don't snow on our parade, man.

3rd season begins with a double ep. on 4th April. Just how much will major get dumped on this time. Aly's regular cast now too, so we'll get guaranteed tight dresses and lots of leg every episode too.

>>79291850
why does it look like drew barrymore is wearing hulk hands

>>79294772

>I knew about it but my Netflix masters wouldn't let me talk about it *smiley face*

Cunt.

>>79294981
That probably is the story here. She wrote a thinly disguised promo piece using some SJW offence-taken template.

She's getting told on her own twitter as well:
https://twitter.com/thekatievb/status/829038746532184064

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>barrimore is 41
>olyphant is almost 50
>still looks a decade younger than her
why are women so bad at everything?

>>79294921
I miss best Zombie Rita

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>>79295246
>I miss best Zombie Rita
Liv didn't.

>>79295246
>>79295268

And neither did Major, goddamn that boy is a killing machine

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>tfw no rose gf to rim you every day

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Does Santa Clarita Diet do food porn scenes?

>>79292899
Rahul is too based tbqh.

>>79294921
I hope season 3 shits on Clive and Peyton. They haven't tasted suffering yet.

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>>79296131
Peyton will have Mr Boss gunning for her. Clive's still in the shit over dropping Major and killing off the FBI's case against him. Ravi is apparently having his old CDC boss drop in on Seattle to ask questions about the disappearances.

I'd love to see more of the legal side of things actually. I'd imagine Clive and Peyton are going to get caught up in (un)officially covering up the zombie problem though. Maybe we'll get the courtroom scenes that we haven't been getting in Daredevil.

>>79296131

Clive was already getting shit when the series started as being a bit a NARC and also for investigating into the MeatCute Massacre, plus he had to betray the trust of his FBI fling.

Also Peyton's investigation got her a free run in with Mr Stacy who for a manlet is goddamn terrifying

>>79296213

Ravi also has a bit of PTSD coming from taking out that assassin who almost whacked Liz, fucking great scene

>>79296419
I miss that guy. Though his brains did help Liv and Major breeze through the FPS parts of the finale though.

>>79296453

The way he snuck into Liv's apartment was ace.

>>79295207
I really wished that Olyphant could get a better role than this. The man is outstanding. Being reduced to the whipped husband of the dated hag Drew Barrymore is so beneath him it's sad.

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>>79292899
is he one of us?

>>79296571
he is an absolute madman, that's for sure

>>79291850
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO-ZEhIdJJQ

>>79296819
He's really going to drop himself in it one day with the way he goes off on the trolls.

>>79291850
I like this show because it's the only one I can recall in recent history that portrays a wife who DOESN'T cheat when the first opportunity presents itself.

>>79297055
Is this satire? I'm genuinely confused here.

>>79297348
It's Infowars. It's not actually meant to be satire but it hits that note anyway (as in a right wing version of the Onion).

>>79293397
>>79294921
OTP

This would be like Grimm pretending it's not a rip-off of Supernatural.

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>>79297486
A rogue Anders appears...

>>79297566
did they fug?

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>>79297592
They won't even break the wrapping on the box.

>>79297566

I thought for the longest time that he was British, turns out he's not, and I know I wasn't confusing him with Spike/James Marsters.

Something about the way he speaks mesmerized me..

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>>79297626
>Aly Michalka

oh baby

>>79297745
>mole

disgusting, almost as bad as bries

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>>79297768
On women they are called beauty marks. Another example of gender-based language malapropisms: eg., men get naked, women get nude.

I love Aly + Rose

>>79297893
i would have beautiful kids with her

>>79297904

That you, tall girl/short girl guy?

>>79297893

I'm glad she bounced back from Hellcats, a hard lesson but CW improved because of it.

>>79291850
I remember when Esquire was actually relevant. Like 1996.

>>79292899
who?

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>>79298011
H-how did you know...

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>>79298011
>a hard lesson but CW improved because of it.
I reckon it may have suffered from network interence more than anything: felt like they were ordered to cut it short originally and blew their season finale plot (getting rid of the corrupt coach) around mid season and then were further told to keep going and fill out a full season. It just seemed to end in terms of plot and tone after the midseason and droned on doing squat - on a nothing budget at that.

>>79294981

haha yeah! it's not like it's also on streaming right now as well...ZOINKS!

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>>79298127
I pity Aly's poor back if she tries to 69 any of her midget castmates. She always seems to be half-a-full head taller than most of them.

>>79298127

Sometimes it's too easy, also patrician fetish.

>>79298135

Well I wasn't there for it but the ratings dropoff after THAT episode kind of speaks for itself.

And goddamn that tummy, those hips, those tits.

What a shame

>>79298160

Well from that twitter she said it's not there, maybe it's a region thing?

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>>79298199
MFW I just started watching Hellcats for her and I found out Ashley Tisdale is the same height as Rose

>>79297893
>malapropisms
you keep using that word but i dont think it means what you think it means

>>79298504
Why? What does it mean? :)

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>>79298373
>no tits

>>79293013
I heavily advise against watching the trailer and just jumping into the show instead.

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>>79298624
Sports bras compress all the fun lumpy bits down into a flatter smoother look, anon. Reduces the jiggle factor as seen in >>79298135 too.

Aly has plenty of what we older kids call gropeables.

>>79297641
He put on an English accent for Alias way back in the day and I guess he never really shook it.

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>>79298624
Not know how bras work

>>79298864
Lots of people still think James Marsters is English and that was one goddamn awful OTT accent he put on in Buffy.

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>>79298624
>Aly Michalka has no tits

>>79298910
>saggy

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>>79298981
Such a shame. She could have made it big time otherwise.

>>79299013
just keep your cunt-mouth shut

>>79297641
Didn't he play a British character in something? Heroes maybe?

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>>79298832
>that exposed neck
>>79298910
that clavicle

guys.. pls.. im already sore

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>>79299045
Sark from Alias

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>>79299090
>that exposed neck
She even stretches it out in some shots, anon. She knows you're out there...

>>79299110
Yeahhh that's it. He does a good job of it too.

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>>79299144
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGx10^23

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>>79298373
So cute

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Look how cute

>>79293782
Yea it's believable someone her size could overpower a larger man

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>>79295207
American women were a mistake

>>79301401
that's an awesome picture.

>>79301401
that guy hit jackpot

>>79301399

She has enhanced strength from being a zombie.

>>79301464

Yeah he hit the jackpot then said he didn't want to marry Kate beckinsale and preferred an open relationship, he's with Sarah Silverman now.

>>79298110
Rahul Kohli

>>79295038
exactly. I fucking hate it when people do that, because its misinformation and gross manipulation and it works every time.

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>>79301546

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>>79298135
We all know what went wrong with Hellcats

>>79292899
Based assimilated nu brit

>>79301401
J U S T

>>79302276
>2010

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>>79302276

>>79294842
>tfw no qt aryan nymphlet gf

>>79294772
lmao izombie aint great but it's definitely better than SCD

There's literally no reason for it to have Santa Clarita in the title. This town is so boring and lacking in any sort of culture.

Does this show do foodkino better than Hannibal?

>>79291850
Wait, the new netflix show is about a zombie? I thought she was just a run of the mill cannibal. I think I won't be watching it.

>>79292919

>Olyphant
>He's doing this instead of playing Roland

ffs

>>79299144

ugly knees/10

>>79294772
>shill getting exposed

Nice.

>>79297641
Spike/James Marsters isn't British either

>>79291850
How dare they

>>79304305
Why would they hire him to play a black character?

>>79291850
Izombie was great until she stopped being a gloomy fuck and devolved into a chipper generic Veronica Mars clone, then it was just ok. I didn't realize how trash it really was until I read the comic and realized just how much they butchered the source to make the most bland and generic show possible. How the fuck do you get a police procedural from a comic about a zombie girl who lives in the most haunted town in the world and has to team up with a mummy to stop Cthulhu from breaking through and sucking the earth dry while also battling a monster apocalypse?

Great S1 finale though

>>79298832
She would have been a perfect Carol Danvers

>>79304691
>a zombie girl who lives in the most haunted town in the world and has to team up with a mummy to stop Cthulhu from breaking through and sucking the earth dry while also battling a monster apocalypse?
...I need to read the comic

>it's not on netflix :^)
>it's literally on netflix

>>79291850
fake news

>>79291850

People always talk about Disney having shills here but I think Netflix is the worst offender

>>79304691
They did the same thing with the Lucifer show.

>>79305009
How dare you, none of us are shills

Watch A Series of Unfortunate Events, starring Neil Patrick Harris, only on Netflix

>>79305088
qtest sister sandwich

>>79294772
I want to punch her in thee vagina

Apart from eating human flesh and not feeling pain, does iZombie actually have any other zombie characteristics? From what I've seen she could just be a vampire instead.

>>79296029
No. SCD is about an actual zombie, she can't digest anything other than raw flesh.

>>79295038

this and only this. Should be a law against this shit

>>79291850
>SJW's don't consume the shit they whine about
no shit

>>79291850
That's really specific

>>79305279
They start degenerating hard the longer they go without brains into actual zombies.

>>79305615
So, like a vampire, she becomes more savage the longer between meals? Also, it seems like she has vampire strength.

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>>79305720

when zombies reach this level they stay this level

>>79297893
A malapropism is when someone says "for all intensive purposes" instead of "intents and purposes" I have no idea what you're saying.

>>79306015
>"for all intensive purposes" instead of "intents and purposes"

That is such a great pleb filter, desu.

>>79301546
serves him right for getting a big head.

>>79305049
but Lucifer and iZombie are the only good comic book shows

>>79291850
It's funny because she's incompetent as fuck and Olyphant essentially babysits her. In izombie she's actually strong and intelligent

>TV critics
>watching anything that's not on netflix

>>79307180
izombie is on netflix you tard

>>79303505
this

>>79307207
shut your fat fucking mouth you disrespectful motherfucker

>>79291850
After sitting through that zombikino I'm willing to give iZombie a chance again while I wait for s2. The title was very off-putting so I shelved the series.

>>79307270
So did I but based Major is too based. He's the quip king. Also Ravi is cool, and they're best friends on the show and in real life and stream themselves playing Diablo 3 coop

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>>79307313

>>79299273
>>79299814

Man, Tisdale is cute without the blond hair.

>>79294772
This actually makes me mad because she's full of shit and iZombie is much better in literally every way

>>79293013
>I feel so great and I'm so full of energy now that I am a zombie
It's funny that this and iZombie have zombies are nothing like zombies but follow most vampire tropes to the t. They are basically "nice vampire tries to get by" shows at the core. Is it because vampires are out but zombies are in?

>>79293573
I dunno, anon. I not saying they ripping someone off, but zombie trying to have a normalish life while trying to hide the fact that she's a zombie from people around her isn't exactly a stock premise for a tv show.

>>79307417
When I started the show I thought he'd be the usual perfect can-do-no-wrong boyfriend

And he his, but damn I didn't expect him to have such a great arc