poop kino

Brits are fucking filthy and disgusting.

>>>/lit/

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>tfw only one in your class who hasn't mastered the vanishing charm yet

>>79178636
It's kinda funny tho, why should any magic user have to deal with a chamber pot when they can just drop trou and pop a squat in private, then make it disappear completely UNTIL a more attractive option comes along?

Slytherins hate Mudbloods because the dungeons were their designated shitting spaces until they learned the remove poop spell.

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>>79178743

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Well it is, Harry Potter, one the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises and not Hareesh Dopinder Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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>>79178636
No designated pooping and disappearing room?

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>>79178636
>*Urge to brappost intensifies*

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>>79178776
someday in the future people will get paid for brilliant greentexts. this is funnier than anything snl's done in years.

>>79178743
I think an even better question is why bother with bothersome construction and plumbing and using space for restrooms when you can just magic that shit away. Amd why would it need to be outside of your body for the spell to work? If you feel a shit coming on just VANISHO FECENDO and your done. Saves alot of time as well I probably waste 30-40 mins a day taking a shit.

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>>79178882
What if you do it wrong and vanish your entire lower intestine instead? Do you want that sewage to spill in your body?

I know there might be worse ways to go, but even still, while casting the "pishadoo"?

>>79179025
Thats where practice and having others show you how to do it properly comes in. Wizard parents vanish their babies shit then as muggles potty train when babies get older, wizard parents would monitor and help to insure they don't fuck it up. After awhile it becomes second nature and any dumbshits too stupid to do it properly die from being too dumb to expell shit.


Side note I wonder though how squibs dealt with their poo before wizards adopted plumbing.

>>79178816
that was one of your weakest intros desu

>>79179025
>you will never watch the sopranos for the first time ever again
fuckin' queers. satanic black magic shit

>>79179198
> how squibs dealt with their poo before wizards adopted plumbing.
>implying they weren't just killed outright or abandoned

fucking mudbloods

>>79179335
Do you think sneaky witches who want to trap a rich man would magic his semen into them and get pregnant?

>>79179750
Don't they want to get fucked? Just magic a little love potion into him, they're legal in Potter world and not even taboo
In fact characters make jokes about them all the time, even though Voldemort was born due to love potion rape and apparently that's why he's evil

Is there any sort of rules to the magic in the Potter-verse or does Rowling just make shit up as she goes along? Do wizards just trust that people aren't just going to be massive dickheads about it?

Because it seems like a spell that just makes stuff disappear would be rediculously powerful. More so than that death curse one that just fucking kills you.

>>79179852
It'd be much easier to accio cum across the room though

>>79179942
That would be extremely painful

>>79178816
Oh come on

>JK Rowling should have made the turd she wrote vanish but instead we get the dullest franchise

I thought that up in like 10 seconds you hack

>>79179925
>does Rowling just make shit up as she goes along?

It's a book for children and "young adults", what do you think?
That she gave any consideration to anything that wasn't the main plot? That she thought out how her world works, and crunched the numbers on how many wizards and etc. there are? That it's not just a magic fairy tale and I don't have to explain shit?

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>>79178636
is jk morphing into lucas with all these canon additions no one needed?

>>79180064
Just because it's made for kids doesn't mean it gets a free pass on not making any fucking sense. Especially the later books which were targetted at older audiences that had grown up with the series.

>>79179961
Youre a big wizard

>>79178816
Leave it to the pros, kid, that intro was shocking

>>79178636
>be new wizard from human family
>in potion's class
>Snape comes in
>textbooksssss to page 34
>everyone flips to page 34
>todaaaay classsss, we will... attempt... the Defecation potion....
>everybody cheers
>1 hour later
>the potions are brewed
>"ok classssss, take your potionsssss, and drink"
>everyone drinks
>everyone clutches their stomach
>raise robes in unison
>drop the foulest wizard dooks where they stand
>like everybody has been eating diarrhoea Bertie Botts
>everyone cheering and comparing shits
>school bell rings
>"Classssss Disssmisssssed
>everyone runs out without vanishing their rotting feces
>I follow
>on the way out I spot Filch and his cat
>a single tear rolls down his face as he rolls a mop bucket into the room

HARRY POTTER AND THE POO IN THE LOO

>1808
>not buying an everlasting piss bottle

>be Hagrid
>go to quid ditch match to cheer on Harry
>suddenly stomach gurgle
>"oh poop, I gotta shit"
>leave to go find restroom
>it's full
>remember back in the old days wizards used to shat and then make it vanish
>undoes his 120 inch belt and leaves a quadruple coiler under the bleachers right where snape was sitting
>wipes his ass with Harry's invisibility cloak.
>the spell slips his mind so he just leaves the cloak on top of the shit
>he sneaks off back to his seat and uses the binoculars to spy on snape.
>"that'll teach him to pick on Harry"

The end

>>79178816
I know the other guy stopped posting but there was no need to "take over". You're not funny like he was.

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>>79178776
>removus me poopus