Is this movie so hilariously silly on purpose?
>>79168257
>not liking essential man core
What are you gay or something?
>>79168257
>he didnt solve the riddle of steel
>>79168257
Silly?
>Aryan child sees parents murdered by mongrel (((reptilian))) king
>kept in slavery for over a decade
>becomes godlike warrior
>is set free
>rediscovers the God of his people
>passes the tests of wolves and women
>meets based Chink sidekick and Aryan Valkyrie
>seeks revenge for his parents' death
>finds hippy procession
>kills faggot hippy and steals his clothes
>sneaks in to the Den of Degeneracy
>fails to kill the mongrel (((reptilian))) king
>survives being crucified
>Aryan Valkyrie sacrifies herself for him
>tries again, this time with the help of his friends
>decapitates mongrel (((reptilian))) king
>becomes king.
>>79168690
Of course he did. But you would only know if you solved it yourself
My nom was weird and always talked about how sexy Arnold was in this
We'd have to watch a vhs tape of this dumb fucking movie every day
>>79168257
Since Conan is a movie made by men for men, you may as well cut your cock off already and toss it in the garbage if that's how you really feel. Hating on Conan officially makes you worthless.
>>79169002
do you guys ever stop?
>>79170370
Lucky you
Post pics of your mom
Naked if possible
Love this movie. Has anyone actually read Howard's original stories? Who would be the perfect Conan for a faithful modern adaptation? That mix of handsome but beastly, funny and cunning?
>>79168257
I'm gonna be nice and assume you don't watch many movies prior to the 90s
>>79170723
Somebody unknown. Every action movie actor is a dull turd these days.
>>79170647
No,
The more you post, the louder you are, that's why /pol/ is so loud,
They live at home and have literally nothing to do but repeat this shit
OP is right. The movie is shit, there's barely any story and most of it is just silent scenes with music playing in the background.
The only defense i ever see for it is how "manly" it is and you're not a real man if you don't lust after a sweaty half naked roided Arnold flexing for the camera for 2 hours.
Really makes you think.
>>79171182
>there's barely any story
the battlecry of the philistine
arnold was never the perfect conan. Book conan was terse but witty. Not "read one liners with a deadpan expression". Someone like the Rock would be a little too talkative though. Maybe modern day arnold could do it since his english more fluent now but he's too old
http://www.barbariankeep.com/ctbds.html
>2017
>not realizing that conan is the overman
It's early capekino.
>>79171182
Your post really makes me think you don't know shit about this movie
>>79171182
It's manly because it's about achiving mastery over body and mind, lost love, brotherhood, and revenge against a powerful enemy, you frickin baka.
>>79170723
i honestly thought Momoa was perfect. the movie was meh though.
>>79168257
You have to be a faggot.
>>79171748
He wasn't big enough. Conan is quite the big guy.
We need more Conan thievery, for a lot of his life he was a thief, sneaking into temples and sorceror lairs, Conan just taking shit when and where he wants, tense duels with noble swordsmen and temple guardians and nameless idols.
>>79171780
Or a fan of Russian Opera, but I feel like that might be same thing.
>>79171221
And who said he had to be like book Conan?
>>79168257
This is the opinion of someone with testosterone difficiancy
>>79171338
Everybody knows. Neitszche's name appears on screen in the first 10 seconds.