best simpsons jokes

Knock knock
Who's there?
Simpsons
Simpsons who?
Who are the Simpsons? A long running cartoon.

>>79134437
That part they changed to HD. Their lack of quality was hilarious. They can switch back now

inb4 chuck's fuck and suck

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Guy incognito

Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence

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>>79134437

>>79134437
You first, that's just a picture of Mr. Snrub.

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This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters.

Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man.

Lets see....

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.


You stupid monkey!!”

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Cool...personalized plates! "Barclay"..."Barry"..."Bert"... "Bort"? Aw, come on. Bort?

Mommy, mommy! Buy me a license plate.
No. Come along, Bort.
Are you talking to me?
No, my son is also named Bort.

(Later, over the PA)
We need more Bort license plates in the Gift Shop. Repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates.

>>79134740
holy fuck someone actually posted it the right way round

>O'uoh!

>>79134437
Who was this guy? Why didn't Snrub ever turn up again? It seemed like he and Smithers had a relationship of some kind.

>>79135449
I heard he got edited out of later episodes after the test audiences confused him with Mr Burns

>now there's two exceptions and it gets a little tricky
>Adirondack cider can be yelluh IF you use late season apples
>and of course in Canada the whole thing's flipflopped

>>79135509
That cult episode scared me as a kid.

Probably misses his old glasses.

Works on contingency? No, money down!

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I know you can read MY thoughts, boy

Please refrain from tasting the knob.

>>79134675

Maud was so hot. Too bad Flanders only had two children, I like to imagine Maud wanted to have unprotected sex for the sole purpose of procreation every night, yet they only have two kids.

>>79135863
Reminds me of the nightmares I had from the X-files episode as a kid.

>>79134592
>chuck's fuck and suck

Never heard of it

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>>79136111

>>79136097
Shut the fuck up and don't mention it again. Don't ruin yet another simpsons thread

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AH-E-YO
E-YOO-AH
>shh!
ah-e-yo
e-yoo-ah

>>79134964

Don't

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>>79136111
>>79136126

>>79136179
>>79134592

fuck, I was way too late

>>79136111
Doink!

>>79134964
I don't get it

>>79136111
Why was Moleman black?

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>>79134964

>>79136244
Same reason as SMithers

>>79134592
best.hidden.joke.in.pre.watershed.tv.ever

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Four Krustys

just ask this scientician

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Smither's, I'm home
What? Already?
Yes

Is it just me or is television getting worse?
Eh, it's about the same

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One smoke detector's enough for Mad Dog

>>79135449
I heard he was from somewhere very far way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPjDgWsi8po

Remember the Mr Plow/Plow King episode? That was great.

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So simple yet so funny

>>79135863
The one where they find the angel skeleton always spooked me

>>79136126
BOO URNS

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Well, we still love you, Ciggy.

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>>79136244
drinking has ruined his life

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You just made an ex-Green Beret mad.

>>79136236
>sneeds feed and seed
>chucks fuck and suck

IT'S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!

The entire show is a joke.

Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognised by his high-top sneakers, and incredibly foul mouth.

>>79135509

He's alright, but he's no bowl of Special K.

>you will never live in a latex condo

>>79134964
God damn, i miss witty simpsons

>i think women and seamen don't mix
>we know what you think

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6LSIsy6YEXQ

any site still host eps?

>>79137970
Yeah, well, Scooby-Doo can doo-doo! - but Jimmy Carter is smarter.

>>79134437
>still no mention of the rashomon joke

>>79137310
>le

fucking reddit

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>>79137885

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>>79137310
>Season 11

>>79137885
>>79138051
Use your eyes nigga

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This is now a Mr Snrub thread

Not now, I'm ... too drunk.

>>79138113
sheeit i ctrl + f and found no results

Joey...Joe Joe...Jr...Shabbadoo...

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Hey Maude, look who's helping me clean the chimney

>>79137885
>>79138051
I don't get this joke

>>79138332
Really or you jokin? i can explain it, but i would simply suggesting watchign rashomon if you haven,t already

>>79138332
Rashomon is a japanese movie where people recall an event they all witnessed.

After each telling, the net says that's not how they remember it and then tell their story.

>>79138332
uncultured swine!

Dont mind me

Just posting the best Simpsons song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURFU3pL93o

Hello, Mr. Thompson.

>>79138475
Wrong

retard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZI_aEalijE

>>79138475
>>79138531

please

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURFU3pL93o

>>79138499
the part where the WRP guys give each other the silent side-eye slays me. like that's some classic Looney Tunes visual gag shit there

>>79138475
>>79138531
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOeUXEpxzcc

>>79138569

oops wrong link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkapW5ob9Qs

>>79138581

If i could have anything in life it would be a real version of this

If i ever become a millionaire its the firs thing im funding

The entirety of the Hank Scorpio episode should be saved in a vault for posterity

since most of you wont understand this one because its ebin new, the joke is that the simpsons is getting worse and by some point it will become the same meaningless catchphrases said over and over again, when homer looks out of the window he rememebrs happier times

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m78gYyTrG7Y

>>79137175
Uh oh! Look out, Smithers!

Troy McClure was the greatest character ever put to television

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6jSKetRBU0

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best non-Last Exit to Springfield episode

grover cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Krbl911ZPBA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vyANa71gvU

MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Best episode and best song coming through

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAJHDiO8Fr0

>>79138723
No no, dig up stupid!

>>79134775
This. Where's the joke?

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Our next bachelor says he likes women who take their clothes off for money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lb0QjJ6tEY
>'the barbeque chef's delivery

>>79138690
thats not a joke, that's soul crushing.

What's the main difference between the new Simpsons and the old? Is it the jokes themselves that are bad or is it the timing and presentation?

>>79139003
yes

>>79139079
I see

>>79139003

Its everything

The voice actors clearly phone it in today they dont give a fuck. Try listening to Marge its like fucking nails on a chalk board

And the writing is just several steps below. Every Simpsons episode in the golden era teaches you something, the episode has a message. Now its just random shit happening with random celebrity appearances. Hell Michael fucking Jackson was in an episode and no one even knew because they didnt want to make a big deal about it, he just played a side character

Today the whole episode is centered around that celebrity

https://youtu.be/Fs3bXmPVy-U

>>79134437
>I've got interests, and I ain't talking about stamp collecting! Although I do find that extremely interesting.
>that makes two of us..

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>>79139266
They were both wrong

Fucking Kosovans name their kids after this hero, best Prime Minister

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>>79139266

>>79137071
this is one of the best

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>Mattingly, get rid of those sidebirns
>What sideburns?
>You heard me hippy!

Oh! It's a donkey.

>The Simpsons will go on for atleast another 10 years
>They wont make a single good episode ever again

It hurts

>>79137608
Oh I get it!
EPIC LOLS FTW

>>79139148
Apparently they haven't even recorded together in many, many years. They all have recording studios at their homes, do the lines, and just send them in.

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>>79138666
>tfw Phil Hartman is dead so it can never happen

>>79139943
>and yet Andy Dick still lives

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>>79138775
aaaaAAAaaahAhhhHhhhhhhhhhhMCBAAIIIIN

>>79140034
I was never a big fan of Lovtiz but I will always respect him for punching Andy Dick in the face

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>>79138723
>stamp collection

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>>79134437

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>>79139943
>>79140034
>>79140244
>The simpsons actually had Andy Dick on as a guest start after Hartman's death

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>>79140293

>>79134675
heh its even funnier once you realize Krusty is dyslexic

>>79135449
died on his way back to his home planet

>>79137568
I miss the unhinged slightly psychotic Skinner

>>79138581
this play has everything.

>>79140329
Joe Rogan should of beat the shit of Andy Dick

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Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like englishmen and scots..

..or welshmen and scots.. or japanese and scots.. or scots and other scots!

>>79137228
Oops, shouldn't have this Bar Association logo either.

>>79136178

Is this bait?

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>>79138723
>there it is, the world's largest cubic zirconia
>WHAT AN EYESORE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB2tolvtIsQ
For some reason when someone explains the joke straight after they make it, it becomes even funnier.

>>79139452
Probably the best episode desu.

>>79135926
Showdair? Showdair? It's Chowdah! Say it right Frenchie!

IT MEANS HE GETS RESULTS YOU STUPID CHIEF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD-LB9z6nxg

>Slow down Tubby, you're not on the moon yet

>>79138475
>>79138531
>>79138569
>>79138581
All so wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h02U2T2BpcQ

>>79141330

It wasnt Michael Jackson though

>>79141349
You can't prove that

SIDEBURNS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjHOtxCRhnw

>>79136178
What chant is that? Is it a famous hymn or something?

>>79141600
It's the chant the guards in Wizard of Oz do

>>79137175
>mfw I always laugh along the laugh track

>>79141638
so do i lol

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>hey you, join the navy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BUmxh2uDpg

>implying all nu-simpsons is bad

>>79139832
Best job in the fucking world

>>79138818
The way his eyes move as he walks across the stage is fucking priceless.

>>79139003
What I don't really get is why the writing is so different now. It's like the old writers all died in a plane crash and they had to hire this new bad ones.

>>79141708
>guest animator
>visual humour
>2 minute bit
>half the appeal is the visual style
>ruined by that dumb Maggie bit at the end anyway

>>79141703
YVAN EHT NIOJ!

>>79141785
Nah, they just went to work in Futurama.

>>79141840
Really? So that's the reason of the drop in quality?

And why the new generation of writers is so bad?

>>79141638
Reminds me of every sitcom on-air today

>>79134964

This is my favorite meme

>>79139003
your nostalgia

>>79141948

Moe is the most underrated character

>Let the bears pay the bear tax. I already pay the homer tax.
>No, that's the home-owner tax.

>>79134551
>underrated

>>79141895
That and Matt Groening isn't even involved anymore really.

>And why the new generation of writers is so bad?
Because they can shit out anything and still make a profit.

>>79138723
Thank you for coming! I'll see you in hell!

>>79135509
>do people worship it?
>in a way

>>79141948
Why do they all look so angry with him?

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>>79138099

>>79139296
you mean albanians?

>>79142621
cos he likes women who take their clothes off for money

>>79134651
I rememeber jacking off to this when I was really little and was still developing a morbid obesity fetish.

homer:
>whats the point of going out, we'll just wind up back here anyway

>>79138723
Curse you magic beans!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkKwyjsJGxk

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>Take this doll, but beware, it carries a terrible curse.

>>79141840
Then how come Futurama was shit too?

>>79142958
Oh that's bad

>>79142969
kys

>>79143030
Nah I'm good thanks.

>>79143027
but you get your choice of topping

>>79142969
No.

>>79143171
That's good!

>>79143171
You mean it comes with a free Frogurt with potassium benzoate.

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>literally don't get a joke from this thread

>>79136126
>>79137425
>Moo-oyes

>>79137071
This is one of the most elegant jokes they've ever done

>>79143313
What's your native language?

>>79137885
I literally went out and watched Rashomon because of this joke.

Bart's weird laugh when he's reading MAD magazine

>>79141895
Actually, a lot of the current writers are the same as the ones they had from the glory days. The difference is that they used to be twentysomethings right out of Harvard and are now all in their late forties or early fifties.

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So who is the best one scene character and why is it crazy vaclav?

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Khlav kalash, fresh khlav kalsh!

>>79143061
You're really not

>>79143662
>not Godfrey from Rock Bottom or Big Daddy

>>79135509
photos from the upcoming god of war

>>79138251
That's the worst name I've ever heard

>>79143482
Not english

>>79143628
Not true.

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>>79143801
WAIT! JOEY JOE JOE!!

>Homer I don't want you stalking people again
>alright fine!
>I'm just going to go out...to...stalk...Lenny and Carl...

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>>79144014

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>>79139645

They'll probably find a way to record the voice actors voices for a machine that can replicate perfectly everything they say and so The Simpsons will still be going on when we're in our old age.

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>>79134437
>That episode where Nelson bombed the local Duff Brewery and then Homer bashed in Jimbo and Kearney's skulls to make a point

Probably misses his old glasses.

>>79139284
Classic.

Mmm pie-pants.

SHAKE HARDER BOY

>>79137379
Fuck, this one gets me every single time. I never make it longer than halfway through Homer's over the top obnoxious laughter before I'm out.

Carhole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhJmEGs7P2E

>>79137379
10/10

It's a Pornography Store, I Was Buying Pornography

this is how i learned what pornography meant after I asked what it was

>>79138159
They said my way of thinking just wasn't cost-effective.
>Well, that, and I was funnelling profits to the Viet Cong.

Bart Simpson: Oh, P-U, what where you drinking, gasoline?
Krusty the Clown: Yes, I was drinking gasoline, MOTHER!

>>79138723
last exit being the best is a bad meme

>>79138775
I never realized that McBain's boss came back from the dead.

vera said that??

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>>79134437

>>79138690
those future episodes are fucking terrifying

>>79143662
PUT IT IN H

>>79138723
best episode right there

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FqNwcDin218

It's still my favourite

>>79138869
You should have expected that if you knew who directed it

Kind of weird he was hired to do a couch gag

>>79138374
That's not what it's about

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>>79134437
>Sorry, no homos

Jesus Raimi

>tfw you're not American and didn't grow up in the 80s so you've got no idea what half the references are

>>79145719
I grew up in aussie and get most of them because I'm not an idiot

worker and parasite
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2_dhUv_CrI

>>79145719
>The face when your british and channel 4 must have shown you literally every episode by the time you reached 18

Would re-watching season 2-9 be a good idea lads?

I had season 10 on DVD but I don't really wanna watch that transition again.

Why do you think I took you to all those police academy movies? For fun?! Well I didn't hear anybody laughing!

>>79145962
ye but watch in reverse order

can someone rank the seasons?

>>79146600
3>4>7>8>2>6>5>1>9>who cares

>>79146695
*tip fedora*

Guys, where's Poochie?

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>>79146897

>>79138723
How can there be this many great moments in one episode?

There's plenty not pictured too.

>>79146695
>>79146600
2 = 3 > 5 > 6 > 4 > 7 > 1 > 8 > the rest

>>79138723
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGoq_31rdcE

>>79147440
they were firing on all cylinders at that point

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv0Nsm-7HGA

Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
(Grampa's pants fall down with a "boing" sound.)
Grampa: How long was that?

>>79139452
MADDINGLEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS! GO HOME! YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM! FOR GOOD!

Mostly because this episode is eerily accurate.

Also, Homer Simpson sleeps nude in an oxygen tent he believes gives him SEXUAL POWERS!

>>79147797
Hey! That's a half-truth!

>>79147797
Ooops

https://youtu.be/r-Y0dTNH7Ns

>>79134675
In Spanish, the place name is SEXY-NIÑOS.

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>>79138475
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phE8HifoQ-8

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>tfw too stupid for the simpsons
I understand that they're joking but the words just don't comprehendable. Like, this scene, fucking a Flanders how do you get away with talking about cider? that cost like $10k to animate

>>79147995
>the words just don't comprehendable
is this the hot new meem

>>79146983
Are you saying you and Barbara are bad neighbors?

Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved.

https://youtu.be/AnIu8CI4Syw

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-vuVjiF8Jk

Well, the kids have to learn about Tek War sooner or later

>>79144437
Im afraid of smothering him

NOW WHATS THE WORST EPISODE EVAR. DO IT

>>79149801
The Lady Gaga one.

>>79149904
why

>>79149801
Tik Tok.
I know it's a gag and i don't remember which episode it was but i never felt my heart so destroyed as i saw a childhood treasure being ripped apart in pieces. It was a living nightmare to see that fucking gag.

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>>79149996
listen to lisa sing

>>79149801
Probably some Lisa episode, my vote is that Equalia one.

>>79150150
Seconding this.

>>79149801
the one where marge rapes homer

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>>79134437

>>79134964
>Chucks Feed and Seed

>>79150254
>Chucks Feed and Sneed

>>79149904
Neil Gaiman had a much better cameo episode.
>Hey Neil, Why didn't you drink?
>Its simple. I don't like the taste... of poison.

>>79140623

>>79150254
HOLY SHIT I GET IT NOW

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>>79150404
>now

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>I have to go now... my planet needs me

Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet.

>It's a secret
>....
>Shuut Uuup

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Simpsons has great newspapers

>>79150703
>mentlegen

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>>79149801

>>79138780
my nigga

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>>79150832
>YOLO
>Not YELO

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>>79150741

>>79137310

sexy maude

>>79134964
Sneed is a name derived from specific geographic areas in England, with the family named after the land they occupied, as for example Snead in Worcestershire or The Sneyd in Staffordshire. Of particular importance in this context is the correspondence between Ralph Sneyd (1793-1870) and his friend Henry William Vincent (1796-1865) and that between Robert Curzon (1810-1873) and the Rev. Walter Sneyd (1809-1888).

A large number of papers in the archive relate to the administration of the Sneyd estates, including their local mining interests, although unfortunately the archive includes few estate maps. The manorial content of the Sneyd archive dates from the early fourteenth century and includes a sequence of Keele court rolls and Tunstall rolls.
The Sneyd accumulation is enhanced by over 1,000 watercolours and pencil sketches executed by the family and others, depicting their friends, homes and travels. The most talented artists in the family were undoubtedly Walter Sneyd (1809-1888) and his sister Charlotte Augusta. Walter's comic illustrated Portraits of the Spruggins Family, a collaborative effort with the Countess Morley, was published privately in 1829 - Walter's own copy is in the archive. In 1984 a descendent of the Sneyd family donated to the library a copy of a previously unknown work by Walter, an illustrated collection of limericks dedicated without permission to Edward Lear and entitled Bosh (1876). Charlotte Augusta Sneyd was a proficient watercolourist, particularly skilled at catching a likeness and depicting interiors. Her finest piece surviving at Keele is a panorama of Almack's assembly rooms in St. James's London. This was executed in 1819 and depicts 154 identified figures on a rolled frieze measuring 80" in length and 10" in width, with an accompanying key in Charlotte's hand. She and her friends were also responsible for a volume entitled The Winds (1824), a collection of amusing drawings on various aspects of the title.
.

>>79138723
Libcuck propaganda.
>DUDE PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE GUNS LMAO

>>79142377
Matt Groening never had anything to do with the show being good.

>>79151230
>hasn't even seen the episode

Back to /polddit/.

>>79145471
the way that little bitch says "NO HOMERRRSSSSSS" made me hate women

>>79150150

That is probably the worst episode in the entire series.

>>79139148
I agree with what you're saying, but the Michael Jackson example is actually a really bad one. He played a somewhat prominent character in that episode.

>>79151557

that wasn't a chick, you retard

>>79142005
Aurora Borealis.

>>79140623
He's illiterate, not dyslexic

>>79151963
the girl says "no homerssss, we're allowed to have one." Then the other homer sticks his head out and laughs.

You retard.

>>79143717
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UatzGsaWxFY
Fuck I loved that New York episode

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>>79144293
How do they keep up with the news like that?

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>>79137129
Eh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77X0JZwo1zk

>>79134964
Chuck's Cheed and Cheed?

>>79153277
Don't worship it

>>79153277
>looks like those cucks in congress have done it again. what a bunch of cucks

>>79153277
Dubs confirm that the VAs will all be in commercials dancing with vacuum cleaners after they have died.

>>79141330

this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVxCIoKmjcQ

>>79139296
Kosovo Je Srbjia

>>79136178
They're actually saying
>All we own, we owe

>>79142006
Jeb!.png

>>79134932
Back when Simpsons meta-humour was next to none.

>>79136212
I can hear that George C Scott impression so vividly
>Aaargh, my groin

>>79137175
Mr Burns weird power stance and Shearers delivery of 'yes' are pitch perfect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=607j7e-Z94U

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>>79137754
I'm off to google local anchors going nuts live

>>79138475
>I should out you away where you can't kill or maim us
>But this is LA and you're rich and FAAAAAAAMOUUUUUUUS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTx-9X3Kr34

>>79138475
>>79138569
>>79138581
>>79141330
I bet you all hate 'All Singing, All Dancing' too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RCJZKQDdQA

All the best songs in one episode. Bets clip show.

>>79138045
moe is 24 carat laughter in this scene

>>79138841
...is Tobey really a gender neutral name??

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>>79141785
It boils down to writer turnover and the characters wearing thin.

>>79141054
They do that with every single joke in new episodes.

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>>79141234
>Hey, I'm tryna eat lunch here!

>>79141708
Getting a guest animator to draw the Simpsons in their style for a couch gag doesn't make the episodes any funnier. it just makes the showrunners seem desperate.

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>>79143801
Not Benevenstanciano

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>>79144645
That movie