What was his fucking problem?

>People say more money, more problems. But here's my problem, Ray. My problem is that when I start shaking the trees it's not money that falls out, it's coconuts. And you know what's in those coconuts? I couldn't tell ya. I don't like the taste of milk.

>They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But the more apples I throw at people the more doctors come after me, Ray

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>You see Ray, problems are like bottles of beer on the wall, I got 99 of them, I take one down and pass it around then I got 98 bottles of beer on the wall...the thing is, I stopped drinking 10 years ago.

They say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Well I found a dead horse in the reservoir, Ray, and we're all drinking him now.

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They say that's the way to cookie crumbles, Ray. But now the stove is all out of gas and we're working with fucking cookie dough.

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>It's a Frankposting thread

When I was a kid my old man used to tell me that there's a time to fight, and a time to walk away. But you know something, Ray? When you're a double amputee, you ain't got much choice.

>you know what ray? Dealing with your bullshit is like raking leaves on a windy day. Thing is, you're here trying to bury the hatchet, but all I've got is a rake and empty sack.

>they say even a broken clock is right twice a day, and with what you're telling me right now, it sounds like we're both gonna be getting sloppy seconds.

>>79118090
Shameful kek

>I don't trust these guys, Ray. They say every good gambler knows when to hold his hand and when to fold, but these guys fold so fast they must work for a Chinese dry-cleaner

>The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?
>No baby, you're money.

>They say time is money, but I never believed that. After all, when's the last time you threw a bunch of time on a bed and rolled around with Thai ladyboy on it?

>You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...
>Yeah... big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
>Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
>Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
>And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Sue: You're like a big bear, man.0

Listen Ray, you want to know what the witch doctor told me to do, you want to know the magic words? Alright, you go: Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang. And then he shrunk my fuckin' head.

>>79117789
My mother used to tell me to always eat my vegetables, well here's the thing Ray, The vegetables aren't talking and I just caught my wife with a 12 inch zucchini up her ass

It's like Frank watched mobster movies and nobody told him they weren't documentaries.

My mom always used to tell me that if you do good then good will follow you. Well Ray I have been a good boy and the only thing following me is death.

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>I tell ya Ray, there's two types of people in this world. And I'm about to kill 'em both with one stone.

>You think your smarts make you a big fish in a small pond, Ray, but economics is what filled the lake. Try swimming on dry land, big fish.

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>They always told me a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. And yet here I am, arm-deep in the bush with nothin' but a handful of feathers.