Kevin Smith just gained a huge amount of respect from me.

It's over.

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>>78985594
>tfw haven't spoken to Ben in years

Impossible because he hasn't spoken to one guy in years?

It's impossie because the dude is a talentless tryhard who can't even properly direct a movie he wrote and produced, nevermind help guide someone elses vision.

>>78985762
Well yeah, he said so himself with reasons 2 and 3.

>>78985690

Jennifer Garner hated Kevin for some reason and Ben chose her over him.

>>78985762
>It's impossie because the dude is a talentless tryhard who can't even properly direct a movie he wrote and produced, nevermind help guide someone elses vision.

I'm fairly certain that's what he implied with points 2 and 3.

That's pretty sad. Not him directing Batman, God no, but him not speaking to Ben in years. Really sad to see friends stop talking as they get older.

>>78985594
4) Too busy having sex with his own daughter.

>>78985801
I'd hate that fat faggot, too.

>>78985594
>I made Yoga Hosers
This is 100% fair.

I saw it when he came here to Indy last year. It wasn't great but the man can fucking talk up a storm and have me enthralled the whole time.

There was a little girl in the audience that he said was "exactly who I made this movie for". It was real cute.

>>78985869
Smith is obnoxious, I wouldn't speak to him either

>>78985594
What the fuck is Yoga Hosers?

>>78985937
Why wouldn't you just google it?

>>78985994
too intelligent to use google

>>78985937
A sequel to Kevin Smith's film Tusk and the second in a trilogy of Canada-based films he calls the "True North Trilogy".

The third will be "Moose Jaws", a film which Smith describes as "Jaws but with a moose instead of a shark". In it, apparently Jason Mewes will be eaten by a moose.

>>78985937
It appears to be a movie that Kevin Smith made.

Why would anyone hate dude, he knows what he is and is still genuinely enthusiastic of the stuff he does. His instagram is also pretty cheerful and positive

>>78986056
>Mewes is eaten by Moose

Pottery

>>78985594
why? whoever suggested Smith is a fucking moron

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>>78985871
>Implying you wouldn't

>>78986117
I like his Instagram when he does post stuff.

Unfortunately it's buried under stacies slutting it up (which I don't mind because hey more fap fuel for me) and aestheticposters.

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Fuck the elitists, Smith makes the best flicks.

>>78986138
I would just so i can get closer to Kevin Smith. He may be a shitty director, but I really enjoy his podcasts and he seems like a cool guy to just chill with.

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>>78985869
>Really sad to see friends stop talking as they get older.

Enjoy your marriage...

>>78986188
Clerks and Clerks II are great comedies and he has a few decent films but the rest of his filmography is shit. Zach and Miri Make a Porno is one of the comedies I've ever seen.

>>78985594
He doesn't do it because he knows it would be shit.

Your goddamn right Yoga Hosers was fucking terrible

>>78985594

>>Jared Diamond

Why does a historian follow Kevin Smith

>>78986274

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YahNhXSD1Zs

>>78985594
he forgot
>4)I was never and would never be a consideration

>>78986274
>Zach and Miri Make a Porno is one of the comedies I've ever seen

Best or worst?

>>78986371
neither it's just one he's seen

>>78986337
>2017
>being a bitter edgelord

>>78986274
>Zach and Miri Make a Porno is one of the comedies I've ever seen.
Accidental meme spotted.

>>78986313
>Jared Diamond
>Historian

Oh anon, you card.

>>78986396
that qualifies for edge? wow, standards sure have gone down in 2017

>>78986396
>2017
>Being a faggot

>>78986138
That nose.
Now where have I seen such a length of nasal cavity before

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>>78985594

>1) Haven't spoken to Ben in years

What happened Ben? You changed, man.

>>78986371
This is one of the threads I've seen.

>>78985762
did you literally stop reading after 1 point

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>>78985801

>hated Kevin for some reason

Why does making Yoga Hosers preclude him from directing Batman? Is he admitting it was shit and he wouldn't be trusted with Batman?

>The film stars Johnny Depp alongside his daughter Lily-Rose Depp and Smith's daughter Harley Quinn Smith

I can't believe he named his daughter after Harley Quinn, the madman

>>78986274
>Zach and Miri Make a Porno is one of the comedies I've ever seen
>The others are Clerks 1 and 2

>>78986470
>Is he admitting it was shit and he wouldn't be trusted with Batman?
yes, but I don't know why he singled out yoga hosers

>>78986117
>Why would anyone hat the dude
>pwns my dick.jpeg

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Remember when Kevin threw a bitch fit and refused to talk to Affleck for YEARS because Affleck didn't thank Kevin in his Good Will Hunting Oscar speech?

>>78985594
DC/WB mishandles the DCEU, but they're not stupid enough to nuke it by hiring him.

I think another element is that it would hurt his career even more
short of a masterpiece, people are going to throw a fit about this movie
Kevin's career is already precarious; a legion of screeching fan boys might just bury it for good

>>78985869

>tfw married

>tfw I see my friends maybe once or twice a year

>tfw "we" see her friends at least twice that

>tfw I'd even settle for seeing her friends more often if it just meant seeing someone besides my wife and her family 24/7

>>78985594
>haven't spoken to Ben in years
bit of an insecure way to phrase that. Men shouldn't talk publicly like that.

>>78986550
blame yourself you stupid faggot.

>>78986418

Not him, but I actually thought that was "Jared Diamond" and I thought it was kind of cute that an academic followed and interacted with Kevin fucking Smith on twatter.

>>78986503
Is that literally why they had a falling out?

What a little gay boy.

>>78986429
It's obvious you are jealous of based Kevin Smith. It's not his fault your life didn't amount to anything. Feel free to point me to your filmography and prove me wrong.

>>78986056
>"Jaws but with a moose instead of a shark"
I didnt think it was possible but Kevin Smith has officially smoked too much weed

>>78986503
Never herd of that but sounds believable.
Got a source?

>>78985690
>>78985801
i hate this
what a controlling bitch

>>78986462
What a fucking retard

>Kevin's dick will never p0wn your brown/dick/taint area
Is there a reason to live anymore?

>>78986188
i dont mind clerks and i thought red state and tusk were different but interesting

>>78986550
>see her friends at least twice that
Had around 200 mates I served with and knew well enough that I could spend all day talking shit with. See them once a year on my countries veterans day. See her dumbfuck friends once every 3 weeks.

>someone mentions clerks 2
>instant boner thinking about Rosario Dawson
>dick is sore from a 3 hour wank session yesterday

fuck sake

>>78986056
YMS was right, seems like everyone who makes shit horror movies always compares it to Jaws

Ben probably blames Jersey Girl for killing his career for nearly a decade

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>>78986866
>current year
>watching Adam the furry dog rapist

He could have handled this multiple ways but he was pretty humble about it and made the right call As big a fan of DC he is hes not the right guy and he knows it.

>>78985594


>4) I want to fuck my daughter so hard

Is he serious?

>>78986570
This

>maintaining your friendships is your woman's responsibility
t. Manchild

>>78985594
>batman and mission impossible crossover

what the fuck

>>78986056
>Moose Jaws
Just because it's a clever title doesn't mean it will be a good movie. And even then, I'm not sure how many people in America know of Moose Jaw, so it just seems really obvious and stupid.

>>78986434
Islam happened

>>78986479
Underrated

I like how he mentions Yoga Hosers as often as possible in any context to push the sales up a tiny bit.

>>78985594

Didn't Ben send him stills from production which Smith tearfully approved of in social media?

WTF?

>>78987431
PROVE IT

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>>78985801
>for some reason
you're not fooling anyone Kevin

>>78986568
Huh?

>>78986550
>>78986764
then go see your friends more often you idiots
are you actually letting your wife dictate how often you can hang out with them?

i thought him and ben were friends or something?

>>78985594
>common sense
WBDCEU btfo. even one of the biggest geeks in Hollywood doesn't want to be part of that hot trash.

>>78985690
>"hey man if I open my eyes as wide as possible for every photo then it'll give the appearance that my face isn't the size of a safe"

how would ben know what kevin wanted him to do
wpuld he just wait for him to start crying to know if he was on the right track?

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>>78985801
google "catch and release"

>>78986985
I'm pretty sure he spent that decade gambling, drinking and not fucking his horse-faced wife.

>>78985762
Learn to read things through Zac

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>>78986039

Why do you faggots post this retard all the time? Get the fuck back to /co/.

>>78986550
>>78986764

>Do you want to hang out?
>Yeah, but I have to go ask mommy first. I hope she says yes!

Fucking manchildren. Maybe you'd be seeing your mates more often if you weren't dependant on your wives arranging playdates.

>>78988148
What did Kevin have to do with that?

>>78985594
>haven't spoken to Ben in yers

Didn't he go on the set of BvS and see Ben in costume and shit. Does anyone else remember this?

>>78988287

He was in it.

>>78988322
And?

>>78988060
This. I was wondering what he meant by that, but it's obvious that whoever directs The Batman has a one of the biggest responsibilities in Hollywood right now.

>>78988292
>>78987431

>>78988292
Saying you haven't spoken to someone in years is still something people say even if they have seen that person once briefly in that time.

>>78988292
I do

>>78985801
>some reason
I forget for what but he, jen, and ben did some sort of group interview or something
kevin brought up trannies in a joking way and jen was super offended
I think that was the moment

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>>78986389
>>78986437

No. Not just seen, EVER SEEN.

>>78986138
>would marry her to pitch my Clerks 3 script to her dad
Should I try?

>>78988440
clerks isn't that important dude

>>78988460
It is to me. Also, I'd slide my cock in her asshole, and that seems like a fun time.

>>78986550
Bachelorhood is Man's natural state. Marriage is a trap for penis and property.

>>78986201
smoking weed and talking about comic book movies with Kevin is one of my dreams. I love his podcasts.

>>78986337
He almost directed Superman 4. Since he left the project there hasn't been a good Superman movie, period. I bet they'd give him a shot at something.

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>>78986056
Marijuana: Not even once

>>78988426
This is the shitpost I have ever seen.

I'm not certain that anyone actually asked him

That fat fuck, he could barely direct his own piss

>>78986550

I'm married and see my friends once a week. What, are you scared of your wife or something? Your marriage is going to fail

>>78985801
they broke up so why is he still on her side

>>78986138
I think she's kinda cute

>>78988062
Did he really say that?

>>78989092
Yup

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>>78988792

>celebrity tweets some unnecessary backhanded comment
>haha i just gained a bunch of respect for him xD

>Zach and Miri
>Cop Out
>Yoga Hosers
after those he can't get another gig in Hollywood, he's pretty much stuck to funding his own projects now

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Guys I went to get some food just now and went to pay and gave the girl my card and she said "I really love this card. So many people use it. It's so smooth" and I just kind of autist laughed because I didn't know how to reply to it. Think I blew it since she was clearly flirting with me.

What should I have said back?

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>>78985690
>TFW I also lost a best friend when I chose a woman over him
>TFW I also ended up divorcing her

>>78989161
I liked parts of Zach and Miri mostly the nudity

>>78988877
no, these kinds of marriages will last forever
the husband will just be miserable as shit the whole time

>>78989183
whats the last movie with him and matt damon

>>78989218
Dogma?

>>78989162
>Think I blew it since she was clearly flirting with me.

That doesn't seem so clear from your story. I think she was probably just making a casual remark.

>>78986292
>He doesn't do it because he knows it would be shit.
Yeah he said that.

>>78989162
Should have played her some Huey Lewis and The News and asked her to check these.

>>78989248
Oh shit, Dogma. That was one of the movies I've ever seen.

>>78989395
Yeah, it's one of the movies I've seen too.

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>>78989162
>I'm glad I came all the way to your store to get complimented on my card by an employee here.

He forgot:

4) I explained years ago that I am too lazy to make a comic book movie and if anything i have grown more lazy.

>>78985801
She's a total cunt.

>>78989291
>I think she was probably just making a casual remark.

so reply how? she was flirting

>>78989423
will this get me her number?

>>78986442
admittedly there are a lot of reasons to choose from.

>>78989747
>4) I explained years ago that I am too lazy to make a comic book movie and if anything i have grown more lazy.

this was implicit in 2) I made @YogaHosers

>>78989848
>so reply how? she was flirting
I don't know, ask what kind she has and ask to see it then the two of you can compare their feels side by side

But she probably wasn't flirting unless you are unusually good looking.

Isn't this the guy who made batman pee himself in the comics?
Nobody wants this retard directing a batman movie.

>>78990035
>ou are unusually good looking

I am. I posted my picture

>>78989162

>>78990112
>waaah waaah my perfect broody manchild-god was made to look human!!!

>>78990112
Apparently they do since he's replying to someone who suggested it. Good thing he knows that he would be a bad pick.

I always wondered who on their right mind would cast Johnny Depp's daughter when there is Annasophia Robb.

>>78989747
Nigga you on crack?

>>78990168
It wasn't the fact that batman peed himself, it was the retarded way he handled.
>Oh god I had an accident Alfred, CHANGE ME!
The real batman would be like
>Yeah it's piss so what?! The scent scares criminals away. You want me to turn your bones into oatmeal? I'm the fucking batman bitch!

>>78986503
>Good Will Hunting (1997)
>Dogma (1999)

So by YEARS, did you mean somewhere around 1.5 to 2? Honestly, that sounds like the kind of thing Kevin Smith would have said at a Q&A as a joke.

>>78989248
It'd be Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, wouldn't it?

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>>78985594

>>78987309

fucking this, im american and had no clue that "moose jaw" was even a thing and just thought the title was "a moose version of jaws"

it's a fucking stupid title

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>>78986201
>>78988621

just imagine if you were banging his daughter though. like, he would always be asking you really pervy questions about what kind of shit you do with her. and he'd probably get you on one of his podcasts to do it, too.

>you ever do anal with my daughter, sir? how about licking her asshole, you ever lick my daughter's asshole sir?

would be really uncomfortable.

>>78990424
what did he mean by this

>>78990479
He always makes the same face, and he even looks like he pissed himself.

>>78990424
Wow. What a fucking idiot.

>>78990479
She is a textbook example of butterface

>>78990643
Is it really a case of butterface when the body is plain as well?

>>78988292
He said he did.

>>78985869
It's not sad Ben just realized Kevin would ruin his career if he associated with that manchild. For Chuck's sake the guy got high while directing Cop Out and then cried that Bruce Willis expected him to actually act like a flippin professional! What an idiot!

>>78986550
>modern american """"""""""men""""""""""

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>>78985594

>>78985690
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBvvSRLj8HE

>Howard Stern broke my heart

lol, he should stop being so over sensitive

>>78985937
The female version of Jay And Silent Bob

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>>78985594
I wonder what's under there...

>>78986056
I think Seth Rogen ruined him.

>>78989004
I'd imagine its not ben who's still mad at kevin, but kevin is for choosin hoes before bros

Wonder why he didn't focus on making more Clerks and J&B movies, that was his bread and butter. That's what he's good at.

>YFW Kevin Smith's Superman was going to be Nick Cage

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>>78990858

>>78990885

>giant mechanical spider

>>78986636
>"Ben.. We can't keep this up."
>Jennifer speaks hushed in the next room with Ben as Kevin Smith, at the dinner table, proceeds to finish off the Affleck children's baby food which merely gravitated closer. Jennifer and Ben's places already licked clean and partially chewed.

>>78990919
>Thanagarian Snarebeast

>Cellophane suit with Christmas lights in it

>>78985801
Now her only role is in credit card commercials.

>>78990828
why you put woody on there, m8?

>>78990479
>Hello sir! How are you? Try more daughter!

>>78990676
Why does he always look surprised? Is he surprised that he can still get work even though he shows up to a professional photo shoot without showering?

>>78986764
You think you have it bad? Your wife married a soldier

>>78989162
She absolutely was not flirting with you. Don't do anything.

>>78990424
>clit/brown/taint-area
This still puzzles me so fucking bad. Not only is it confusing because he doesn't seem to know what to call anything, but the use of /'s makes it sound like he believes all of that to be the same area which is just baffling.

>>78990424
>>78991263
The part that bothers me is that the taint is male exclusive..

>>78990424
what time of the day did he post that? if it was late then I'd give him a pass for being drunk

>>78986138
>implying I haven't

>>78991283
No it's not...

>>78991343
Kevin pls go

For all the annoying things about Smith, he's a huge Batman fan. He wouldn't trust himself with that property. JJ Abrams wouldn't touch Star Wars until he was specifically convinced by Kennedy, because he was a big fanboy of the IP.

>>78986138
What is up with that stupid fucking face he pulls in exactly every picture he is in?

>>78991507
thats just his face, he was stricken from birth

>>78991456
And look how it went.

>>78985594
that's actually pretty funny

>>78986138
>fat legs
It's all downhill from here.

>>78990479
Her head is so fucking huge but I'd jerk off and cum all over her legs desu senpai

I wouldn't want to see kevin smith do batman. Maybe MAYBE 20+ years ago. Plus I read his awful batman comic and I'm 100% sure it would be terrible

>>78985690
He cries over everything other than his pathetic appearance.

>>78989183
That makes you a beta fuckboi.

>>78985801
Jennifer Garner has good taste then, Kevin Smith is the biggest hack faggot in hollywood

>>78989183
NICE GOING SIMP!

het gets a free pass from me since he has made more good movies than most directors, its been a while but still

>>78991442
Audible kek

>>78985690
They were not the best buddies anyway. There plenty of people even family I am on good terms with but havent spoken in years. It's not sad , just life.

>>78988419
Kev made one of his first docu about a tranny (well, about how a docu about a tranny didn't pan out because she/he moved away befor eit was finished). Smith's brother is gay. He was on friendly term with the tranny and she/he asked him to call him/her that.

Who in the LGBTQ community is Jen close to irl? No one, that's who. Fucking SJW.

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He is effay.

>>78996227
>yfw it's a fat suit to keep up appearances when he's actually really skinny and dying from cancer

>>78985594
As if he was even considered.

>>78991507
It's a trick to make him look less fat. He thinks nobody notices.

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>>78996227

>>78990840
He also had a falling out with Adam Carolla. The guy is a sensitive bitch who cries over cape-shit.

>>78986550
>be man
>really want to FUCK DAT PUSSAY
>finally get pussy
>completely forget about your friends cuz the pussy will NEVER get old
>it gets old
>muh friends are gone ;_;
>hers aren't ;_;

Yeah cause she fucking made sure to hold onto them you dumbfuck.

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>common sense
HOW WILL DKEKS EVER RECOVER?

>>78996799
wheres are his feet?

:o

>>78985801
Good choice, 2bh

Why does he dress like a retard?

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>>78985801
>Implying the problem lies on Kevin Smith.

>>78997654

He had to get them removed cuz diabetes.

>>78990145
If that really is you, you aren't good looking by any standards. That picture shows a greasy looking, balding elephant jew nosed creep. You must be autistic or in a constant state of cognitive dissonance if you think that girl was "flirting", or that this thread is a good place to blog post about it.

>>78985690
Probably the other way around. Ben's unjusting begun with distancing himself from this fat fuck.

>>78997812
OUTTA MY WAY

>>78990828
>Willaims a cuck

suck my fucking dick m8.